Haggadot Contributors

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KADESH: Happy Hour begins Humorous Bangitout.com Q. "Red, Red, Wine...Stay close to me" -- Why Red Wine, Bob? Sure there is the whole symbolic "looks like blood" thing (Jewish slaves or Paschal Lamb? You make the call) -- but the Ishbitzer Rav gives a novel interpretation: Wine, is the product of a long process (the longer it takes, the more expensive!) From the grape to the bottle, it goes through some long hard processes. So too, the Jewish Nation also requires...

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The seder plate holds the main symbols of a traditional Passover seder-- the shank bone, egg, karpas, charoset, and maror. The Kabbalists of the Middle Ages added hazeret, another kind of bitter lettuce. And in recent years feminists have added an orange on the seder plate to symbolize women's leadership roles and full empowerment in Jewish life. The artichoke however is a new development. What is an artichoke? Surely a work of God's imagination! Many petals, with thistle and a heart....

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(sung to the tune of “Take me out to the ball game")   Take us out of Egypt Free us from slavery Bake us some matzah in a haste Don't worry 'bout flavor-- Give no thought to taste. Oh it's rush, rush, rush, to the Red Sea If we don't cross it's a shame For it's ten plagues, Down and you're out At the Pesach history game

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(to the tune of "Do you hear the people Sing" from “Les Miserables”)   Do you hear the doorbell ring, And it's a little after ten? It can only be Elijah Come to take a sip again. He is feeling pretty fine But in his head a screw is loose. So perhaps instead of wine We should only give him juice

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At the heart of a progressive Muslim interpretation is a simple yet radical idea: every human individual, female or male, Muslim or non-Muslim, rich or poor, of the “developed” North or “underdeveloped” South, has exactly the same intrinsic worth. The essential value of human life is God-given, and is in no way connected to culture, race, ethnicity, gender, geography, or privilege. A progressive Muslim is one who is committed to the strangely controversial idea that the true measure of a human...

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Scene 1:  In the Desert  Moses is galloping (skipping on foot while clopping coconuts together to sound like hoofbeats) across the desert. He comes to a burning bush. Bush: Halt! Who goes there! Moses: A shrubbery! A talking shrubbery! One that looks nice, but is not too expensive. It is a good shrubbery. I like the laurels particularly. Bush: Moses! Moses, Leader of the Israelites!  (Moses looks stunned, drops to his knees in awe and bows his head to the ground...