Skit - The Real Reason We Had Unleavened Bread

Haggadah Section: Yachatz

Skit - The Real Reason We Had Unleavened Bread 

By

Dave Cowen

BARBARA WALTERS

Hello, I’m Barbara Walters and welcome to a special episode of 20/20.

If you’re a Jewish person, you’ve likely heard the Passover story every year of your life. 

You think you know why we eat matzo. 

The Jews were in such a haste to leave Egypt that they could only take unleavened bread. 

However, a Jewish archaeologist has recently uncovered perhaps the real reason. 

Please welcome Dr. Carrie Levy to the show.

DR. LEVY

Hi, Barbara, thanks for having me.

BARBARA WALTERS

So tell us about your big discovery.

DR. LEVY

Well, it’s quite simple really. The Passover story presupposes that the unleavened bread could have risen. But my book asks the question, “Maybe it couldn’t?”

BARBARA WALTERS

So if the bread couldn’t have risen, even if there had been time, what did happen?

DR. LEVY

My research suggests that the Jewish people made an error with their sourdough starter.

BARBARA WALTERS

Those sourdough starters are very challenging. I’ve been trying to perfect my loaf all pandemic.

DR. LEVY

Exactly. Yes, me, too. That’s how I came up with the theory.

BARBARA WALTERS

What do you mean?

DR. LEVY

Because of the pandemic, like everyone else, I’ve been unable to leave my house. Or go to the sites in Egypt I normally excavate. So instead I started trying to perfect my sourdough loaf at home. And had tremendous trouble.

WOLF BLITZER

Me, too.

JAKE TAPPER

Yes, same with me.

DR. LEVY

Wow, this is quite an episode of 20/20 with three Jewish hosts.

BARBARA WALTERS

Well, Wolf gave Jake his sourdough “mother” which Jake shared with me, so I only thought it fair to include them.

DR. LEVY

Actually, sharing the “mother” is I think where the Jews went awry.

JAKE TAPPER

How so?

DR. LEVY

If you overshare the “mother”, the “feedings” or “refreshments” cycles can be skipped or lost.

BARBARA WALTERS

Maybe, that’s what’s wrong with mine?

JAKE TAPPER

I fed my “mother” perfectly. If we had problems, Barbara, it must have been Wolf’s fault.

BARBARA WALTERS

Well, who did you get your “mother” from, Wolf?

WOLF BLITZER

Larry.

BARBARA WALTERS

Larry King?

WOLF BLITZER

Yes, may he rest in peace.

JAKE TAPPER

So since Larry King passed away, may he rest in peace, we can’t find out if the starter went bad with him or before him.

DR. LEVY

And that’s the same with my research.

BARBARA WALTERS

What do you mean?

DR. LEVY

I can’t find out for sure if the starter is the reason the Jews’ bread was unleavened or not.

WOLF BLITZER

Wait, you wrote a whole book about your theory without any proof?

BARBARA WALTERS

And by proof, we also mean the term for the final rise in baking.

DR. LEVY

Well, as I said, I’ve been unable to leave my home for almost a year now. So I couldn’t excavate the Egyptian sites looking for the starter. And I was just sitting around the house trying to make these troublesome sourdough loaves. So I thought I might as well write a book. Even if it was speculative.

JAKE TAPPER

Well, that’s understandable.

BARBARA WALTERS

Why did I come out of retirement for this?

WOLF BLITZER

It seems maybe the original Passover story really still is true then.

DR. LEVY

Yeah, probably.

BARBARA WALTERS

That’s it for our show. Thanks, I guess, to Dr. Levy. And to Wolf Blitzer and Jake Tapper. Join us next week when we’ll be meeting with some Jewish entrepreneurs about their latest pandemic fitness craze. Where they get you lost, then you have to walk back home through the desert.

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Table of contents
    Introduction
  • Jerry Seinfeld's Passover Stand-Up Introduction - The Yada Yada Haggadah
  • Matzah
  • Monty Python Haggadah: The Seder Plate
  • I Flee
  • The Sorting Hat of Passover
  • Let's get this party started
  • Courtesy of Beyonceder
  • The 30-second Seder
  • The 15-second Seder
  • Seder Guests...
  • Hametz - Curb Your Haggadah
    • Songs
  • Take Me Out to the Seder
  • Chametz
  • Our Passover Things (Sung to the tune of "My Favorite Things")
  • The Plot of Wonder Woman Meets Chad Gadya
  • Chag Gad Ya Emoji Style
  • Pharoah Pharoah
  • A Whole New World Passover Parody
  • "Jews" (Juice by Lizzo)
  • Sweet Charoset - parody song
  • Take Me Out of Mitzrayim
    • Kadesh
  • Four Cups of Wine
  • Kadesh: Happy Hour Begins
    • Urchatz
  • 2020 Seder Order
  • Seinfeld Urchatz - The Yada Yada Haggadah
  • Wash Your Hands song
    • Karpas
  • Karpas - The Yada Yada Haggadah
  • Karpas Buzzfeed style quiz
  • Karpas Cocktail
  • Da Dip
    • Tzafun
  • Afikomen Prize
  • Shalom Sesame: Les Matzarables
  • Afikoman
    • Yachatz
  • Aim for the Middle
  • Pharaoh Doesn't Pay
  • Song - Don't sit on the Afikomen
  • Skit - The Real Reason We Had Unleavened Bread
    • Maggid - Beginning
  • Moses, Aaron, and Pharaoh
  • A Few of my Favorite Things
    • -- Four Questions
  • Dr. Seuss' Four Questions
  • Four Questions Asked in Sarcasm
  • Ma Nishtanah
  • Monty Python Haggadah: Four Questions
  • Four Funny Questions
    • -- Four Children
  • The Good Place - 4 Children
  • Emoji Four children
  • Marx Brothers Four Sons
  • SP - Four Sons
  • Pesah Man (Sing to tune of Piano Man)
  • The Four Sons
  • The Four Sisters
  • Reggae Four Children: No Egypt, No Cry!
    • -- Exodus Story
  • Let My People Go (song)
  • Exodus story in LEGO
  • Beyonceder - Tell Him Boy Bye
  • Star Wars / Sci-fi Seder Intro
  • Matzah Humor
  • Story of Moses - a memo from Moses to G-d
  • Beyonceder - He Better Call Becky With the Good Hair
  • Skit - The Original Zoom
  • Passover In Pop Culture
    • -- Ten Plagues
  • Skit - Pharaoh and Moses Go To A Conflict Counselor
  • Dom, Dom
  • Death of the Firstborn
  • Alternate Seinfeld Plagues.
  • 50 Ways to Leave Your Pharaoh
  • Top Ten Rejected Plagues
  • FIRST PLAGUE AS REPORTED ON TWITTER
  • Shalom Auslander - Plauged
  • The Ten Plagues
  • Musical "Let it Go"
  • Hamilton Haggadah - Ten Plagues of Egypt
    • -- Cup #2 & Dayenu
  • Maroon 5/Adam Levine - "Memories (The 2nd Cup Parody Song)"
  • Beyonceder - Let's Get in Formation
  • Dayenu: Behind the Music (A Fictional Origins Story)
  • We're Gonna Sing Dayenu (Sing to tune of We Didn't Start the Fire)
  • dayeinu graph
    • Rachtzah
  • Because we would feel guilty if we didn't
  • Modern Passover
    • Motzi-Matzah
  • An Ode to Bread
  • No Pasta more Matzah
  • Motzi-Matzah
  • DIY Matzoh Baking
  • Flour + Water = Matzah
    • Maror
  • Have Yourself a Piece of Bitter Maror
    • Koreich
  • A Joke of a Sandwich
  • Charoset Ice Cream
    • Shulchan Oreich
  • Dr. Mom BLOWS UP Passover (Food) (With Science)
  • Matzah Ball Soup
    • Bareich
  • When Messiah Comes Lyrics
    • Hallel
  • Les Miselijah
  • Monty Python Haggadah: Elijah's Cup
    • Nirtzah
  • Beyonceder - Next Year in Jerusalem
  • Monty Python Haggadah: Conclusion
  • Monty Python Haggadah: Afikomen
  • Next Year In Jerusalem Meme
    • Conclusion
  • Ben & Jerry's Rejected Passover Flavors
  • Be Our Guest, Elijah
    • Commentary / Readings
  • Monty Python Haggadah
  • Humor and hijinks
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