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Introduction

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Pesach
By Gary Teblum
(sung to the tune of “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas”)

It's beginning to look a lot like Pesach
Ev'rywhere you go;
So get out your pad and pen, ordering once again
With lolly cones and macaroons, you know.

It's beginning to look a lot like Pesach,
Streit’s in ev'ry store,
But the sorriest sight they’ll be are the matzah crumbs you’ll see
On your own tile floor.

A pair of horseradish roots and a few scallion shoots
Is the wish of Barney and Ben;
Gefilte fish and eggs on a dish
Is the hope of Judith and Jen;
And Mom and Dad can hardly wait for serving bread again.

It's beginning to look a lot like Pesach
Ev'rywhere you go;
There’s dayenu to be sung, questioning for the young,
The standard four that all the kids do know.

It's beginning to look a lot like Pesach;
Seder soon will start,
And the thing that will make us cheer is when everyone does hear
Meal’s the next big part.

Kadesh

Sweet Kosher Wine

(to the tune of “Sweet Caroline”)

Adonai said,
"I never will forget you.
I will make Pharaoh set you free.
”Now here we are,
drinking the wine we savor
As we recall our slavery.

(Chorus)

Hands…pouring wine,
Reaching out, red for me, white for you.
Sweet kosher wine,
(bum, bum, bum)
You make seders seem so good
(so good, so good, so good)
We all recline
And we drink you like we should.

Adonai said,
“If you can learn to trust me
Then in the end you’ll just be fine.
Now here we are,
all of these long years later
Drinking our favorite seder wine.

(Repeat chorus)

© 2012 Barbara Sarshik

-- Exodus Story

Hardened Heart (Sung to the tune of “A Hard Day’s Night”) (by Gary Teblum)

He had a hardened heart
And he would not let us go
He had a hardened heart
And here’s what you should know

Each time a plague did them in
Moshe thought he would win
But Pharoah’s mind stood tight

You they know slaved all day
Building the pyramids was their thing
And they waited for Moshe to say
I’ve heard from Pharoah as the king

Though every day they would moan
Soon they could put down that stone
And they would feel okay

To our home,
that’s where we’re headed tonight
A new home,
get there and we’ll be alright, Yeh

He had a hardened heart
And he would not let us go
He had a hardened heart
And here’s what you should know

Each time a plague did them in
Moshe thought he would win
But Pharoah’s mind stood tight

Though every day they would moan
Soon they could put down that stone
And they would feel okay

To our home,
that’s where we’re headed tonight
A new home,
get there and we’ll be alright, Yeh

-- Ten Plagues

The 10 Plagues of Pesach
by Gary Teblum
(Sung to the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas)


For the first plague of Pesach, Pharoah came to see
A river that was all blood-y

For the second plague of Pesach, Pharoah came to see
Green jumping frogs
And a river that was all blood-y

For the third plague of Pesach, Pharoah came to see
Big white lice
Green jumping frogs
And a river that was all blood-y

For the fourth plague of Pesach, Pharoah came to see
Wild scary beasts
Big white lice
Green jumping frogs
And a river that was all blood-y

For the fifth plague of Pesach, Pharoah came to see
{Slow}
Cows with disease {Pause}
Wild scary beasts
Big white lice
Green jumping frogs
And a river that was all blood-y

For the sixth plague of Pesach, Pharoah came to see
Boils causing itching
{Slow}
Cows with disease {Pause}
Wild scary beasts
Big white lice
Green jumping frogs
And a river that was all blood-y

For the seventh plague of Pesach, Pharoah came to see
Hail big as golf balls
Boils causing itching
{Slow}
Cows with disease {Pause}
Wild scary beasts
Big white lice
Green jumping frogs
And a river that was all blood-y

For the eighth plague of Pesach, Pharoah came to see
Tons of flying locusts
Hail big as golf balls
Boils causing itching
{Slow}
Cows with disease {Pause}
Wild scary beasts
Big white lice
Green jumping frogs
And a river that was all blood-y

For the ninth plague of Pesach, Pharoah came to see
Days of pure darkness
Tons of flying locusts
Hail big as golf balls
Boils causing itching
{Slow}
Cows with disease {Pause}
Wild scary beasts
Big white lice
Green jumping frogs
And a river that was all blood-y

For the tenth plague of Pesach, Pharoah came to see
Death of the first born
Days of pure darkness
Tons of flying locusts
Hail big as golf balls
Boils causing itching
{Slow}
Cows with disease {Pause}
Wild scary beasts
Big white lice
Green jumping frogs
And a river that was all blood-y

-- Ten Plagues

Pharoah Got Run Over By the Red Sea
By Gary Teblum
(sung to the tune of “Grandma Got Run Over By A Reindeer”)


Pharoah got run over by the Red Sea.
Chasing Israelites who tried to leave.
Some might say there’s no such thing as Ha Shem
But as for Jewish people, we believe.

He'd been telling Moses daily
That he would not let them go. 
But the last plague was the last straw, 
So he sent them out the door, told them to go.

When he woke up the next mornin', 
Saw they left and did not pack. 
So he sent his men and horses, 
And instructing them to chase and get them back.

Pharoah got run over by the Red Sea.
Chasing Israelites who tried to leave.
Some might say there’s no such thing as Ha Shem
But as for Jewish people, we believe.

Up until they reached the Red Sea, 
They’d been takin' this so well. 
But they all then turned to Moses, 
Asking Moses what to do now, please do tell.

Moses raised his staff with wonders. 
All the water was pushed back. 
And the people traveled forward: 
With Egyptians right behind them on their track.

Pharoah got run over by the Red Sea.
Chasing Israelites who tried to leave.
Some might say there’s no such thing as Ha Shem
But as for Jewish people, we believe.

Once the Jews were through the Red Sea 
Moses lowered down his stick. 
And the waters all receded, 
Drowning each of Pharoah’s armies mighty quick. 

I've told relatives, friends and neighbors. 
What a miracle he did
Now you know we must remember, 
And retell this wondrous tale to every kid. 

Pharoah got run over by the Red Sea.
Chasing Israelites who tried to leave.
Some might say there’s no such thing as Ha Shem
But as for Jewish people, we believe.

-- Ten Plagues

Eser Makkot (The Ten Plagues) (Sung to the tune of “Michelle”) (by Gary Teblum)

Es-ser Makkot
hese are plagues of which we must take note
ser Makkot

Es-ser Makkot
Blood and frogs and lice and cattle disease
attle disease

Please free them, please free them, please free them
that's what God tried to say
ut Pharoah wouldn’t sway
t was not until that tenth plague came that he’d understand

Es-ser Makkot
Locusts, hail and darkness o’er the land
Over the land

God needs to, God needs to, God needs to
od needs to make Pharoah see
h, what might come to be

Until we jews give him the blues,
Pharoah, he’ll be mean

We hate you

Please free them, please free them, please them
You should know by now
You’ll let them go some how
Until you do new plagues will brew
so you’ll understand

Es-ser Makkot
Blood and frogs and lice and first borns did die
First borns did die

And you will say the only words we want for you to understand
Go from my land.

-- Ten Plagues

Hey, Frogs (sung to the tune of “Hey Jude”) (by Gary Teblum)

Hey frogs, please go away
You’re a bad plague that gets no better
Miztrayim is suffering from this plague
If I relent, will it get better?

Hey frogs, I’m now afraid
You were put here to make us suffer
Your jumping is getting under my skin
Now I need Moshe
to make it better

And all the time I feel the pain
Hey frogs refrain
Don’t infest my world and all our households

For well you know, I’d be a fool to play it cool
By keeping the Jews a little longer
Na na na na na na na na na

Hey frogs, don’t jump around
Yet when you leave, I’ll get bad weather
Miztrayim is suffering from this plague
If I relent, will it get better?

So get on out and get me in
Hey frogs, you win
I’m telling Moshe to take his people

And don't you know that it’s just you
Hey frogs, it’s true
You’re jumping around, about my shoulder
Na na na na na na na na na yeah

Hey frogs, please go away
You’re a bad plague that gets no better
Miztrayim is suffering from this plague
If I relent, will it get better?

Better, better, better, better, better,
oh Na, na na na na na na na na na na, hey frogs
Na, na na na na na na na na na na, hey frogs

-- Ten Plagues

Dom, Dom, This Plague is Red
(sung to the sung of Ding Dong, the Witch is Dead)
(by Gary Teblum)

Dom, Dom, this plague is red
Which bad plague
The bloody plague
Dom, Dom, the plague of blood is red

Pharoah – hear what I said
Let them go, or you’ll be dead.
Pharoah, the plague of blood is red.

The Nile will turn to blood
Oh no, that’s worse than flood
Yo-ho, yo ho, yo ho
Don’t cling, just let them all out.

Dom, Dom, you’ll worry so
Don’t ask why, just let us go.
Don’t you know the plague of blood is red!

-- Ten Plagues

Those Were the Plagues
words by Doug Ballon
to the tune of “Those Were the Days” by Gene Raskin

Once upon a time in Pharaoh’s palace,
Mo’ and Aaron raised a rod or two.
Remember how they brought ten plagues on Egypt,
Until the tyrant said that he was through.

Chorus:

Those were the plagues my friend, we thought they’d bring an end,
To hauling bricks we made of straw and clay.
Pharaoh was dealt a blow, and let our people go,
So we were free and sure to have our way!
Yi di di di di di, Yi di di di di di
Those were the plagues, oh yes, those were the plagues.

First, God made the water turn all bloody—
The fishes in the Nile did rather stink.
Rivers, ponds and even bowls turned cruddy,
And not a single drop was left to drink.
The second plague of frogs turned out no better,
With bouncy little critters all around.
The only ones that lived were in the river—
The rest became a big green, smelly mound!

Chorus

Moses and the Lord kept pressing Pharaoh—
With lice, and flies, and then a cattle blight.
Boils and hail and locusts didn’t sway him,
And then God made the day as dark as night.
On the door we finally smeared some lamb’s blood,
And prepared the first Passover feast.
The Lord struck down the first-born throughout Egypt—
Sparing not a child nor any beast.

Chorus

-- Ten Plagues

The Ten Plagues
(sung to the tune of the "Adam's Family" theme song)

They're creepy and they're yucky
They're altogether ucky
They're so completley mucky
We're talking 'bout the Plagues.

The Nile turned to blood
Which was far worse than mud
Then frogs and lice and crud
The start of the Ten Plagues.

Next beasts, blight, and boils
On commoners and royals
Then hail and locusts spoiled
The country. It was wrecked.

Then Egypt drowned in darkness
The country was a big mess
All chaos, as you can guess
Pharaoh could not protect.

The last plague was the worst
The first-born sons were cursed
Their parent's hearts were burst
And Pharaoh let us go.

Each year we tell the story
Although this part is gory
It still speaks of God's glory
Remember the Ten Plagues.

Our cups are filled with wine
The joy with which we dine
Our joy is far less fine
When we remember the Ten Plagues.

-- Cup #2 & Dayenu

What Makes Me Free


(Sung to the tune of “Til There Was You”)

(by Gary Teblum)

It’s what God, did for me
When he brought us out of Egypt
Yes, it’s just what God did for me
That makes me free.

It’s what God, did for you
When he brought us out of Egypt
Yes, it’s just what God did for you
That makes you free.

And there was freedom and wonderful mitzvahs
they tell me,
As we left from Miztrayim,
at dawn,
and so

It’s what God, did for me
When he brought us out of Egypt
Yes, it’s just what God did for me
That makes me free.

-- Cup #2 & Dayenu

Leaving on a Desert Plane
(Sung to the tune of "Leaving on a Jet Plane")
© by Randi and Murray. Spiegel, Passover 2000

All our bags are packed we're ready to go
We're standing here outside our doors
We dare not wake you up to say goodbye

But the dawn is breakin' this early morn'
Moses is waiting, he's blowing his horn
We're planning our escape so we won't die

You'll miss me, as you will see
You've been dealt a harsh decree
You held us like you'd never let us go

We're leaving from this great strain
We pray we won't be back again
God knows, can't wait to go.

There's so many times you've let us down
Your many crimes have plagued our town
I tell you now they were all mean things

Every place I go, you'll shrink from view,
Every song I sing will be 'gainst you
I won't be back to wear your ball and chain

You'll miss me, as you will see
You've been dealt a harsh decree
You held us like you'd never let us go

We're leaving through a wet plain
We hope we won't be back again
God knows, can't wait to go.

Now the time has come for us to leave you
One more time, let me diss you
Close your eyes, we'll be on our way

Dream about the days to come
When you'll be left here all alone
About the time when I won't have to say

You'll miss me, as you will see
You've been dealt a harsh decree
You held us like you'd never let us go

We're leaving all our bread grain
We know we won't be back again
God knows, can't wait to go.

Maror

Have Yourself a Piece of Bitter Maror
By Gary Teblum
(sung to the tune of "Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas”)


Have yourself a piece of bitter maror
On each seder night
Then we’ll feel
The toils and our people's plight.

Have yourself a piece of bitter maror
Hillel sandwich way,
We'll recall,
Our troubles weren’t so far away.

Here we are as in a olden days,
Such sad slavin' days of yore.

Family, friends who are dear to us
gather near to us once more.

Through the years we all will be together
Just as we are now
Eating matzah, teaching all the children how.
And have yourself a piece of bitter maror now.

Shulchan Oreich

Matzah Ball Soup
By Gary Teblum
(sung to the tune of “Jingle Bell Rock”)

 
Matzah ball, matzah ball, matzah ball soup
Matzah ball’s king in soup that we bring
Blowing and blowing on soup when it’s done
Soon we’ll know why there’s only one.
 
Matzah ball, matzah ball, matzah ball soup
See if we rhyme when’it’s matzah ball time
Floating and bloating from Matzah Ball pair
If you’re apt to dare.
 
What a bright time, it's the right time
To eat the soup this way
Matzah ball time is a swell time
To go sliding down your throat and say

Giddy-up matzah balls, fill up the bowls
For the entire group
Eating this consommé’s good for the souls
That's the matzah ball,
That's the matzah ball,
That's the matzah ball soup.