Top Ten Signs the Gentile You Sold Your Chometz to might be Jewish

10. Before painting his Easter egg, he dips it in salt water

9. Observes Lent by giving up leavened bread

8. Easter Basket looks suspiciously like your cute themed Shalach Manos from last month

7. Ordered wife's Easter Bonnet from sheitels.com

6. Easter Feast suddenly relocated to the Fountain Bleu in Miami

5. On Good Friday, wishes people a "Gut G'bentchin Friday"

4. Kicks off Children's Egg hunt with the words: "Find that afikomen!!"

3. Searches bangitout.com for Top Easter pickup lines

2. When you ask him what day of lent it is, he says "Last night was 25"

1. He’s keeping your Chometz

haggadah Section: Motzi-Matzah

Source: Bangitout.com Seder Sidekick

Featured clips

Yachatz

The Matzah of Peace

by Jeremy Borovitz

THE MATZAH OF HOPE and PEACE Neal Borovitz Avadim Hayinu: Not only were we slaves to the Pharaoh of Egypt, we have also been enslaved and persecuted by other Pharaohs. Among these Pharaohs of every age were the Kings of Babylonia, the Emperors of Greece and Rome, the Churchmen and Nobles of Medieval Spain, Hitler and his Nazi followers, the Pharaohs of Moscow, and the dictators, potentates and terrorists of the contemporary Arab world. The Babylonian exile was followed by a...

Maggid - Beginning

Healthy Debate: How This Night Can Be Different

by Moving Traditions

Tzafun

Afikomen Prize

by Haggadot

Commentary / Readings

by HIAS

-- Ten Plagues

Skit - Pharaoh and Moses Go To A Conflict Counselor

by Dave Cowen

Introduction

Stephen Miller Removes/Deports The Hametz

by Dave Cowen

Bareich

Ruth's Cup: A New Passover Ritual Celebrating Jewish Diversity

by Be'chol Lashon

Maggid - Beginning

The Red Haggadah

by Haggadot

Maggid - Beginning

Ha Lachma Anya Tradition

by Melissa Simon

A blessing on your head...Mazel tov! Mazel tov! Our spin on the Moroccan Jewish tradition is to pass the remaining pieces of matzah around for everyone to both make and receive a blessing. Hold the matzah up over the person's head to your left and whisper a private blessing or wish for them. We will continue with our Seder while you each partake in this private moment. Wishes and blessings around themes of freedom are especially appropriate tonight but feel free...

Commentary / Readings

Mark Twain's 1899 Harper's Article "Concerning The Jews"

by Melissa Simon

This article was written in 1899 when anti-Semitism was widespread in the United States. Large companies did not hire Jews, Universities either didn't admit Jews or limited their numbers with strict quotas. "Respectable" people like Ford and Edison expressed their anti-Jewish feelings openly. Mark Twain had an answer for them: Written by Mark Twain in Harper's, September 1899 If the statistics are right, the Jews constitute but one percent of the human race. It suggests a nebulous dim puff of stardust...

-- Exodus Story

Skit - The Democrats Try To Nominate A New Moses

by Dave Cowen

Introduction

Welcome in our Departed

by Michael T. Martinez

Traditionally, a Seder is held only on the first two nights of Pesach. And on the last day of Pesach we observe a Yizkor day, a memorial day in which we light candles to remember those we have lost, and perhaps go to synagogue and participate in a Yizkor service. How much better to also have a Seder on the last night, and to welcome in the memories of those we have lost to celebrate a Passover Seder with them? On...

Bareich

Grace

by Joi Brickman Garvin

Leader: Pour the third cup of wine GRACE (read responsively) A full grace... a graceful toast... to us to where we each come from to where we’re going and how we’re changing to being where we are and who we are to what we can share to what we can’t share -- yet to our joys and to our struggles which in full times we know are connected which in harder times isolate us to our efforts to our faith to...

More clips from Seth Galena

Motzi-Matzah