Top Ten Other Things that God Should Have Banned other than Bread on Passover

10. You're aunt's tone regarding your singlehood

9. Passover Food Price-rape

8. Excitement around "Faltche Fish"

7. Half-assed Post Passvoer Afikomen gifts (seriously, there should be Pre-Passover Afikomen Sales at toy stores)

6. Chol Hamoed Chasidim who think there's plenty of room for double strollers in Times Square

5. Tennis Ball smell associated with popping open a jar of macaroons

4. Miami Passover Club promoters who charge 20 bucks for a styrofoam cup of merlot

3. That guy in the Tea Room, who thinks it's fine to pick at the fruitplatter with his fingers

2. Shrteimls in south beach

1. The word Pesadick

haggadah Section: Motzi-Matzah

Source: Bangitout.com Seder Sidekick

Featured clips

Introduction

Love is Revolution

by Bernie Schafer

Judaism is a spiritual path, a set of practices intended to facilitate living an awakened life. Passover is the Jewish holiday celebrating the Exodus from Egypt, the holiday of freedom. During the Passover Seder, Jewish parents tell a story to their children about their ancestors journey from slavery and bondage to freedom, a tale that has been passed down from Jewish parent to child for over 2,500 years. In the Haggadah, the book used to guide the telling of the story,...

Introduction

The Seder Plate - Coloring Page

by Haggadot

-- Four Questions

Four Questions about Modern Slavery

by Alon Ferency

We start the seder by noticing what is out of the ordinary and then investigating its meaning further. How is this night different from all other nights? On all other nights, we depend on the exploitation of invisible others for our food, clothing, homes, and more. Tonight, we listen to the stories of those who suffer to create the goods we use. We commit to working toward the human rights of all workers. On all other nights, we have allowed human...

Bareich

Bendigamos al Altísimo

by Congregation Etz Chayim

Bendigamos Bendigamos al Altísimo, Al Señor que nos creó, Démosle agradecimiento Por los bienes que nos dió. Let us bless the One Most High, The God who created us, Let us give thanks For the good things which God has given us. Bendigamos al Altísimo, Por el pan primeramente, Y por todos los manjares, Que cumimos juntamente. Pues cumimos y bebimos alegremente, Su merced nunca nos faltó, Let us bless the Most High, First for the bread and then for all...

Introduction

Social Justice Blessing

by Haggadot

Baruch atah Adonai, eloheinu Melekh ha-olam, asher kid’shanu b’mitzvotav v’tsivanu lirdof tzedek Brucha Yah Shechinah, eloheinu Malkat ha-olam, asher kid’shatnu b’mitzvotayha vitzivatnu lirdof tzedek Blessed is the Source, who shows us paths to holiness, and commands us to pursue justice.

-- Four Questions

The Four Questions: What Questions Must We Ask Tonight?

by Ritualwell

The answers to the first three questions are drawn from Michelle Alexander’s groundbreaking book, The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness (2010). Excerpts are cited with “NJC” and the page number. Question #1 Why does America have the highest incarceration rate of any developed nation in the world? Many factors have increased the incarceration rate, including the War on Drugs, the imposition of mandatory minimum sentencing, and privatization of prisons, which creates financial incentives for keeping people...

Motzi-Matzah

#SecondSederPlate for Today's Refugees - 2019

by Jewish World Watch

Kadesh

Pouring Elijah's and Miriam's Cup (simplified for children)

by Brandi Larsen

Now, we're going to take the wine/juice that we've poured and each add to Elijah's cup.Now let's do the same from our water glasses to fill Miriam's cup.Combining our actions together is what will help Elijah come to ourworld. We set an extra place for Elijah and we'll open the door and invite him in later. Miriam was Moses's sister and we honor her for how she helped Moses wich made our story possible today.

Nirtzah

by Rachel Kann

Tonight, we have joined in an unbroken chain with our ancestors and our ancestors’ ancestors (and our ancestors’ ancestors’ ancestors!) in commemorating this sacred day, remembering that we were once in bondage and now are liberated. We will be grateful. We will remember those who came before us and we will lovingly envision those who will come after. We will stand against the enslavement of any living beings and we will uplift all of our brothers and sisters and we will...

-- Cup #2 & Dayenu

Old & New Passover Symbols

by Haggadot

Introduction

Yarzeit/Veladora for all those still in Bondage

by Mirit Markowitz

Tonight with the traditional candles we also light a Veladora with the Virgen De Guadalupe, who is the protector of all Mexican People and all of Latino America. Similar to a Yarzeit candle, a candle of remembrance, people all over Mexico light veladora's in their home with prayers for those in struggle, those lost, and those in need of protection. Tonight we also light a veladora for all those who still are in the bondages of modern slavery and are yet...

-- Four Questions

Alternate Four Seinfeld Questions (to be asked by four neurotic adults):

by Ian Gold

1. Why do I always have the feeling that everybody’d doing something better than me on Saturday afternoons? 2. Why would anyone eat canned fruit? 3. Why is it that the doors on the stalls do not come all the way down to the floor? 4. What was a man with a cape doing with my father? What was my father doing with a man in a cape? Why a cape?

-- Four Questions

Multi Lingual Four Questions

by Sara Rubin

English What makes this night different from all [other] nights? 1) On all nights we need not dip even once, on this night we do so twice? 2) On all nights we eat chametz or matzah, and on this night only matzah? 3) On all nights we eat any kind of vegetables, and on this night maror? 4) On all nights we eat sitting upright or reclining, and on this night we all recline? Hebrew Mah nishtanah halyla hazeh mikol halaylot...

Songs

The Plot of Wonder Woman Meets Chad Gadya

by Esther Kustanowitz

Introduction

Our Seder Is

by Silverlake Independent JCC

Songs

We Shall Overcome - Pete Seeger

by Haggadot

Hallel

Fill Somone's Cup

by Baumann Aizenstein Family

We are going to conclude our dinner tonight with a celebratory toast - a l’chaim. Rather than filling our own cup tonight, though, and focusing on us as individuals, let’s fill someone else’s cup and recognize that, as a family and group of friends, we have the resources to help each other and those in our community if we are willing to share our resources and collaborate – whether those resources are time, money, skills, or any of the other gifts...

Yachatz

Overcoming Language Barriers

by HIAS

Many refugees find themselves in multiple countries before they find a permanent place to begin rebuilding their lives. If they do not speak the language in those countries, refugees face even greater challenges finding employment, and everyday tasks like filling out forms or trying to purchase food can feel nearly impossible. Children confront language barriers in school. The language of instruction may be the language of the child’s host country – the country to which s/he flees – or it may...

More clips from Seth Galena

Shulchan Oreich