Top Ten Irritating things your annoying relative will say during the seder

Haggadah Section: Urchatz

10. “This isn’t the tune OUR family sings “

9. Upon looking at the bottles of wine: “Couldn’t afford to get the good stuff this year, huh?”

8. No matter what you are wearing: “So, THIS is what you wear to a seder?”

7. “This charoset is too_________” (insert: liquidy, sweet, nutty)

6. “Do you mind if I make my own kiddush?”

5. “You don’t have any wholewheatshmura spelt matzah?? None?”

4. "Just one more thought about this I once heard from my rebbe something very different" (must be added after everything anyone says about anything)

3. Re: Marror. "You don’t have anything hotter than this?" Then subsequently chokes and turns red on mild horseraddish for 15 minutes

2. “You think YOU can read the Wise son? You? Really? Oyveh”
1. "I’d like to just say something about something from 15 pages back, can we all turn back there?"

Source: Seder Sidekick

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