Whats on the table – table stuff.

Maror – The bitter herbs are on the table to remind us that sh*t can be tough, life is filled with suffering as the second oldest jew told us….buddah. Slavery is after all the haught of suffering. More on that later.

Charoset – Mom’s special recipe. It’s on the table to remind you that construction work stinks and because it resembles the mortar the jews used to build pharoh’s pyramids. It is sweet because remembering hard times gone by is sweet. 

Karpas – This parsley here is not parsley it is renewal rebirth and hope. It is the spring, the seed of liberty, it represents a fresh start, free from enslavement, for the jews and all of you… even you you gentile types (look at a gentile).

Zeroah – This lamb bone represents the traditional sacrifices made at the great temple in Jerusalem on Passover, it's known as the Paschal Lamb... say it with me now, Paschal. And while saying it remember that being a jew isn’t free, the big man demands respect in the form of fresh baby lambs…keeps him, or her, happy.

Beitzah – The egg… everyone has a different take on this. Birth? Death? Mourning for the fallen temple that they used to take eggs to…? A representation of the fallen first born of the Egyptians...? This one is up for debate.

Matzah – Matzah is the Passover food. It’s the one you all probably know about. Its unleavened because we were rushed, we had to get the fuck out of Egypt before we could let our matzah turn into challah (or croissants).

Elijah’s Cup – The fifth cup. (Show the cup). Elijah isn’t here now but we are saving a spot for him. The jews believe that when he comes so to will the messiah… and yes we are still waiting.

haggadah Section: Urchatz