Seder Plate Explanation

Haggadah Section: Introduction
  1. Big Gulp-In honor of our freedom, Republicans believe one should consume at least a ke'diabetes of soda at a time, especially if one is in Mississippi.
  2. Fracking Water- The water byproduct of hydraulic fracturing is included on the Seder plate as an indicator that Republican Jews see no problems with drinking it. Note: Republican Jews should not, G-d forbid, actually drink the fracking water; instead, a "Seder goy" should be found to perform this task. Remember, any complications they suffer can be handled by their primary care doctor at the local emergency room.
  3. Aborted Fetus-To remind us of the dangers of Planned Parenthood and their Abortionplexes.
  4. Trump Steak-Must be cooked extremely well done, or the Seder plate will be sent back.
  5. Ketchup-To remind us that in the days of the Messiah, we will once again be able to eat our well-done Trump steaks with ketchup as only the classiest of people can ever hope to do. The red color of the ketchup is also a reminder of what Megyn Kelly has done to us.
  6. Borscht-To honor Vladimir Putin, peace be upon him.

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