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We now collect the hidden afikomen and each take a piece. When thinking about hidden parts of our Passover Seder, we also think of the ways in which sexism is hidden throughout society, benevolently, almost undetectably. Benevolent sexism is represented when a man shows polite behavior towards women (such as, walking on the side of the sidewalk closest to the street, or paying for a woman’s meal) but is not aware of how his actions are dehumanizing the woman. While chivalry...

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Dip the egg in salt water and eat. Before we begin our meal, it is customary to eat a hard boiled egg dipped in salt water. In different religions around the world, the hard boiled egg symbolizes renewal and the potential for life. Dipping the egg in saltwater helps us appreciate the work that has been done to disrupt rape culture in our communities, while also acknowledging that there is much more to be done. Just as this Seder is a...

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As feminists and as Jews, language is one of the most important tools we have to address the social injustices around us. Though it can seem nit-picky, it is crucial for us to be mindful and intentional about the words we use to describe ourselves, our work, and the people we collaborate with. We cannot do good work or protect ourselves and our communities if we can’t or won’t. Currently, there is much debate in the wider social justice community about...

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Oseh Shalom Bim-romav Hu Yaaseh Shalom Aleinu Ve-al Kol Yisrael Ve-Imru Amen With the third cup of wine we remember God’s promise to redeem the Israelites with an outstretched arm. With this cup we turn our thoughts to those who offered a helping hand. We raise this glass of juice to those who use their privileges, status, power, and resources to stand against our culture of permissiveness around sexual violence. Fill your third cup of juice, and recite the acrostic below...

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A simple piece of Matzah serves to remind us of the immense suffering of ancient slavery. Now we take into account a second item, bitter chocolate, to remind us of modern suffering. One might question how chocolate is representative of hardship, for its purpose is to satisfy one’s pleasures, to be eaten in times of love and craving. Simply put, it is expected to be sweet, but when it is not, the unwanted chocolate is automatically dismissed and rejected. The expectations...

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When the Jews were enslaved in Egypt, they suffered unimaginably, oppressed by systematic enslavement and brutality. And yet, when Moses arrived bearing the means to their salvation, the rst real hope that was accessible to them for as long as anyone could remember, their rst instincts were incredulousness and rejection. Even after the slaves were liberated, many of them ached for the predictability and relative stability of slavery (knowing where their food was coming from, understanding their role in the world,...

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Our definition Rape culture is the combination of underlying themes and commonalities that normalize and perpetuate rape, sexual assault, and violence through: cultural norms, sexist media, victim-blaming, slut-shaming, objectification and commodification of queer people, people of color, and women's bodies. Rape culture trivializes sexist behaviors that are infrequently condemned by various institutions and people with privilege for fear of losing power. Rape culture exists independently of rape itself. The overwhelming majority of society acknowledges that rape is not acceptable, yet the...

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“Until we are all free, we are none of us free”- Emma Lazarus, American Jewish Poet  Instead of the cleansing current of the Nile, we are now confronted with a slough of salty tears and scathing sweat. To whom do these stinging waters belong? Clear beads swelling on eyelashes, suddenly drooping, dropping, splashing skin with an invisible heaviness. Down the cheek, its damp path slowly drying, leaving only a dust of salt. These tears shall not be forgotten. Thousands of years...

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One of the most dramatic moments of the Passover Seder comes with the recitation of the 10 plagues that, the Bible says, God brought on the Egyptians to persuade Pharaoh to free the Israelites from slavery. In this Seder, we have reclaimed this ritual as a method of understanding rape culture. We purposely omitted actual rape from this list because we want to explore the many facets of our culture of permissiveness toward gender and sex-based violence that ultimately contribute to...

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“God purposely leads the Hebrews to the seashore, where pharaoh will have reason to say, "The wilderness has shut them in!", i.e., nature itself is on the side of the powerful, and the prevailing hierarchy, where slaves remain slaves, is ordained by the gods. The point of the splitting of the Red Sea is that the elements that seem most immutable and unstoppable--the all-powerful despot, the annihilating army and the impassable ocean-- are precisely the ones we should see as the...

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Rape is "the most underreported violent crime in America” (National Victim Center). Although many programs are created with the intent of educating students about rape and rape prevention, these programs are more heavily aimed at teaching people how to avoid rape, rather than teaching not to rape. Although the intent may be to prevent sexual assault by instituting programs that teach women avoidance, in reality these programs are simply reinforcing benevolent sexism and permitting a culture of victim-blaming, which only serves...

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Shedding light on our culture of permissiveness toward sexual violence, illuminating the truth of its damaging consequences, and bringing it out of the shadows, we kindle the candles to create light where, for many survivors of rape and sexual violence, there is only darkness. We hope to light a path to healing with our candles. We also consider these candles as a yahrzeit (memorial) to remember those who have lost their lives to sexual violence and rape. Every person sitting at...

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Maror are bitter herbs eaten during a seder. There is no longer a biblical command to eat maror but we still do to remember our times as slaves in Egypt, the maror can also be used to remind everyone of the bitter reality of daily experiences living in a rape culture. Maror represents the bitterness of bondage. Why do we eat charoset (the sweet mixture of apples, nuts, and wine)? It symbolizes the mortar for the bricks our ancestors laid in...

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According to the National Institute of Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism, at least 5% of American women have been sexually assaulted in adolescence or adulthood and that 18% have been raped. Furthermore, at least 20% of American men report having perpetrated sexual assault and 5% report having committed rape. The same studies report that approximately 50% of college women have been sexually assaulted, and 27% have experienced rape or attempted rape; in contrast, 25% of college men have committed sexual assault, and...

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A simple piece of Matzah serves to remind us of the immense suffering of ancient slavery. Now we take into account a second item, bitter chocolate, to remind us of modern suffering. One might question how chocolate is representative of hardship, for its purpose is to satisfy one’s pleasures, to be eaten in times of love and craving. Simply put, it is expected to be sweet, but when it is not, the unwanted chocolate is automatically dismissed and rejected. The expectations...

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An open seat at the table for Dinah Votive candles Matches Kiddush cup Cups A large bowl for hand-washing Pitcher of water Hand towels Broccoli Seder plate Salt water in a bowl Matzah Duct Tape/Masking tape Plates for each guest Un-sweetened baking chocolate Charoset Horseradish/bitter herbs One hard-boiled egg for each guest Grape Juice - Download the full haggadah here: https://jufwebfiles.org/pdf/teens/RTI-Haggadah-Final.pdf