The Republican Kiddush text is as follows [bracketed text is only said if the seder falls on Friday night]

Praised are you, Hashem, Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, Who has chosen us from among all people, and languages, because no other subgroups have ever made any contributions to civilization, giving us lovingly [Shabbat for Tweetstorms,] festivals for joy, and special times for Making Judaism Great Again, this [social media outlet and this] Passover, the season where we finally start to win again, a holy convocation [given in front of a cable TV], to commemorate the Exodus from Egypt. You have chosen us, You have shared Your holiness with us among all other peoples. For with [Twitter and] festive revelations of Your holiness, happiness and joy You have granted us [lovingly] joyfully the holidays. Praised are you, Hashem, Who sanctifies [Twitter], Israel and the festivals.

haggadah Section: Kadesh