(RAPPED TO THE FRESH PRINCE OF BEL-AIR THEME SONG)
Now this is a story all about how
Some plagues came and flipped my smile into a frown
Now I need to pop this boil (Plague 6) – hey watch out for that bear (Plague 4)!
I’ll tell you how our firstborns were murdered (Plague 10) ’cause of Moses’s dare
Just West of the Nile born and raised,
Racing chariots was how I spent most of my days,
Being groomed for leadership, women galore,
Drinking with Moses some crazy tall pours
When my dad got sick and like that I understood
Egypt was mine - for bad or for good
I looked around at all the Israelites and man I got scared
Don’t overrun my home – I really did care!
The Israelites begged and pleaded with me day after day
’Cause I enslaved and made ’em bundle a crap-ton of hay
Making bricks for my cities, getting whipped in every pit
Then one day Moses murdered an Egyptian he hit
After many years away Moses came back just like that
He said God wanted me to free them – wearing a little Jew hat
I said I don’t think so, you need a breath of fresh air
Then the Nile turned to blood (Plague 1) – man it really wasn’t fair
Well, other plagues followed – all my cattle got gout (Plague 5)
Locusts filled up the whole sky (Plague 8), I started to doubt
In the end it was a no brainer, the choice just really clear
I let them go, then changed my mind, who else would make my beer?
I whistled for my chariot and when it came near
Its wheels were covered in frogs (Plague 2) – and hail (Plague 7) had
shattered the mirror
’Twas for the best because of lice (Plague 3) I’d shaved all my hair
But I thought “Man at least it’s dark” (Plague 9) – no one will be aware
I pulled up to the sea not realizing my fate
And I yelled to my soldiers – “Those Israelites are haters”
They chased them onto dry land – no time to beware
Those waves crashed down, and my kingdom was bare
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