Pharoah's Version the Passover Story


Now this is a story all about how

Some plagues came and flipped my smile into a frown

Now I need to pop this boil (Plague 6) – hey watch out for that bear (Plague 4)!

I’ll tell you how our firstborns were murdered (Plague 10) ’cause of Moses’s dare

Just West of the Nile born and raised,

Racing chariots was how I spent most of my days,

Being groomed for leadership, women galore,

Drinking with Moses some crazy tall pours

When my dad got sick and like that I understood

Egypt was mine - for bad or for good

I looked around at all the Israelites and man I got scared

Don’t overrun my home – I really did care!

The Israelites begged and pleaded with me day after day

’Cause I enslaved and made ’em bundle a crap-ton of hay

Making bricks for my cities, getting whipped in every pit

Then one day Moses murdered an Egyptian he hit

After many years away Moses came back just like that

He said God wanted me to free them – wearing a little Jew hat

I said I don’t think so, you need a breath of fresh air

Then the Nile turned to blood (Plague 1) – man it really wasn’t fair

Well, other plagues followed – all my cattle got gout (Plague 5)

Locusts filled up the whole sky (Plague 8), I started to doubt

In the end it was a no brainer, the choice just really clear

I let them go, then changed my mind, who else would make my beer?

I whistled for my chariot and when it came near

Its wheels were covered in frogs (Plague 2) – and hail (Plague 7) had

shattered the mirror

’Twas for the best because of lice (Plague 3) I’d shaved all my hair

But I thought “Man at least it’s dark” (Plague 9) – no one will be aware

I pulled up to the sea not realizing my fate

And I yelled to my soldiers – “Those Israelites are haters”

They chased them onto dry land – no time to beware

Those waves crashed down, and my kingdom was bare

haggadah Section: -- Exodus Story