Passover Songs: The Parody Edition

{ "clip_details": { "clip": { "is_admin": 0, "is_owner": 0, "handle": "passover-songs-the-parody-edition", "title": "Passover Songs: The Parody Edition", "author": "Meira Goldfischer", "author_handle": "meira-goldfischer", "author_initials": "MG", "covertext": "1. Take Us Out of Egypt (By Ron Wolfson, “Take me out to the ball game\") Take us out of Egypt Free us from slavery Bake...", "user_image": "", "user_image_original": "", "body": "1. Take Us Out of Egypt (By Ron Wolfson, “Take me out to the ball game\") \n\nTake us out of Egypt Free us from slavery\n\nBake us some matzah in a haste Don't worry 'bout flavor--\n\nGive no thought to taste.\n\nOh it's rush, rush, rush, to the Red Sea If we don't cross it's a shame\n\nFor it's ten plagues, Down and you're out\n\nAt the Pesach history game.\n\n2. Les Miselijah (By Stuart Malina, \"Do you hear the people Sing\" from “Les Miserables”) \n\nDo you hear the doorbell ring, And it's a little after ten?\n\nIt can only be Elijah Come to take a sip again. He is feeling pretty fine\n\nWe don’t want him to feel loose. So perhaps instead of wine\n\nWe should only give him juice.\n\n3. Elijah (By Rabbi Dan Liben, \"Maria\") \n\nElijah!\n\nI just saw the prophet Elijah. And suddenly that name\n\nWill never sound the same to me. Elijah!\n\nHe came to our Seder Elijah!\n\nHe had his cup of wine, But could not stay to dine This year--\n\nElijah!\n\nFor your message all Jews are waiting:\n\nThat the time's come for peace and not hating--\n\nElijah--\n\nNext year we'll be waiting. Elijah!\n\n4. Just a Tad of haroset (By Debbie and Sharon Bohnen, \"Just a spoon full of sugar\") \n\nChorus:\n\nJust a tad of haroset helps the bitter herbs go down, \n\nThe bitter herbs go down, the bitter herbs go down.\n\nJust a tad of haroset helps the bitter herbs go down, In the most disguising way.\n\nOh, back in Egypt long ago,\n\nThe Jews were slaves under Pharaoh. They sweat and toiled and labored through the day.\n\nSo when we gather Pesach night, We do what we think right.\n\nMaror, we chew,\n\nTo feel what they went through. Chorus\n\nSo after years of slavery\n\nThey saw no chance of being free.\n\nTheir suffering was the only life they knew. But baby Moses grew up tall,\n\nAnd said he'd save them all. He did, and yet,\n\nWe swear we won't forget. That\n\nChorus cont....\n\nWhile the maror is being passed, We each refill our water glass,\n\nPreparing for the taste that turns us red. Although maror seems full of minuses, It sure does clear our sinuses.\n\nBut what's to do?\n\nIt's hard to be a Jew!!! \n\nChorus\n\n5. Pharaoh Doesn’t Pay (By Mary Ann Barrows Wark, “I’ve Been Working on the Railroad”) \n\nI’ve been working on these buildings; Pharaoh doesn’t pay.\n\nI’ve been doing what he tells me Like making bricks from clay.\n\nCan’t you hear the master calling, “Hurry up, make a brick!”\n\nCan’t you feel the master hurt me Until I’m feeling sick.\n\nOh is this a mess, Oh is this a mess,\n\nOh is this a mess, for Jews, for Jews. Oh is this a mess,\n\nOh is this a mess,\n\nOh is this a mess for Jews.\n\nSomeone’s in the palace with Pharaoh – Someone’s in the palace we know, ow, ow, ow, Someone’s in the palace with Pharaoh –\n\nDoes he know they treat us so?\n\nKeep singing work, work, work all day, Work all day and then some mo –ore, Work, work, work all day –\n\nDoes he know they treat us so?\n\n6. Our Passover Things (By \"My Favorite Things\" from the \"Sound of Music\" ) \n\nCleaning and cooking and so many dishes \n\nOut with the chametz, no pasta, no knishes \n\nFish that's gefilted, horseradish that stings \n\nThese are a few of our Passover things.\n\nMatzah and karpas and chopped up haroset \n\nShankbones and kiddish and yiddish neuroses \n\nTante who kvetches and uncle who sings \n\nThese are a few of our Passover things\n\nMotzi and moror and trouble with Pharaohs \n\nFamines and locusts and slaves with wheelbarrows \n\nMatzah balls floating and eggshell that clings \n\nThese are a few of our Passover things. \n\nChorus\n\nWhen the plagues strike \n\nWhen the lice bite \n\nWhen we're feeling sad \n\nWe simply remember our Passover things \n\nAnd then we don't feel so bad.\n\n7. We’ll Cross the Sea (to the tune of “Under the Sea”)\n\nYou think that we all are stuck here \n\nYou think that we have no choice \n\nWe work in the sand and muck here \n\nBut what if we raise our voice? \n\nJust trust that our God will save us And we can run far away \n\nWhere nobody will enslave us So come with me, don’t delay!\n\nChorus\n\nWe’ll cross the sea \n\nWe’ll cross the sea \n\nLife will be better \n\nThey will get wetter \n\nThan you and me \n\nBack on this side we’ll slave away \n\nBut over there we all can play\n\n So if you dare-o \n\nRun from this pharaoh \n\nWe’ll cross the sea\n\n8. Into the Sea ( To the tune of “Into the Woods” )\n\nInto the sea, where Adonai Has promised that the land is dry. \n\nMoses is here and he’s the guy, To guide us on our journey. \n\nInto the sea— We can’t deny, The trip we take can terrify. \n\nWill we be free or will we die, Before we start our journey?\n\nThe way is clear. \n\nWe have our guide. \n\nSo have no fear, God will provide. \n\nThe sand is up ahead. \n\nThe soldiers are behind. \n\nI really hate to ask it, But will I need a casket?\n\nInto the sea— We have no bread. The time was tight, and so we fled. \n\nMoses has said we’ll all be fed, As we head on our journey. \n\nInto the sea— We don’t know how, But we agree the time is now. \n\nLater we’ll build a golden cow, To guide us on our journey.\n\nInto the sea! And out of the sea! Into the sea! And out of the sea! And home before dark!\n\n9. When You Are Free (to the tune of “When You’re a Jet” from West Side Story)\n\nWhen you are free, You’ll be free all the way. \n\nLet the pharaoh decree! You won’t have to obey. \n\nWhen you are free, You won’t suffer the lash. \n\nWhen you do a day’s work, You will get a day’s cash.\n\n Imagine your life as something you can sweeten . . . \n\nImagine a life in which you’re never beaten By some cretin! \n\nWhen you are free, You will not be a slave \n\nWishing that you could be Independent and brave. \n\nWhen you are free, You won’t cower in fear.\n\nYou’ll be free to fly high Or fall flat on your rear. \n\nNow listen to me, and hear what I am saying . . . \n\nWhen you are free, your people will be playing, Not oy vaying! \n\nWhen you are free, You can summon the nerve \n\nTo say, “Hey, look at me! Give me what I deserve.” \n\nWhen you are free, You will be free!\n\n10. Goodbye, Goodbye, Mitzrayim! (to the tune of “To Life!” from Fiddler on the Roof)\n\nGoodbye, goodbye, Mitzrayim! \n\nMitzrayim, Mitzrayim, goodbye! \n\nWe’re sick of building the pyramids, \n\nLosing our first born kids. \n\nSo Mitzrayim, goodbye! \n\nTo us and our good fortune! \n\nTo Moses and to Adonai! \n\nSay adios to the overseer. We’re getting out of here. So Mitzrayim, goodbye!\n\nGod told Moses, “There’s a simple message That the Pharaoh really needs to know. \n\nTake your rod and take your brother Aaron. Tell the Pharaoh, ‘Let my people go”.\n\nTo us and our good fortune! \n\nTo Moses and to Adonai! \n\nSay adios to the overseer. \n\nWe’re getting out of here. \n\nSo Mitzrayim, goodbye!\n\n11. Master of the Jews (to the tune of “Master of the House” from Les Miserables) \n\n(sung by the Hebrews)\n\nMaster of the Jews, giving us a push.\n\n Sure that God is hiding in a burning bush. \n\nHere another frog, there a little lice. \n\nThinking Pharaoh’s gonna follow his advice. \n\nIf we do as Moses tells us, all of us will surely lose.\n\n Heading to disaster following the Master of the Jews.\n\nWater from a stone, manna from the sky. \n\nEverything he promises is just a lie. \n\nWe will all be lost. It will be a mess \n\nWandering the desert without G.P.S. \n\nCan’t you see the front page headlines? \n\nWe’ll be on the late night news. \n\nMeeting with disaster following the Master of the Jews.\n\n(sung by the Pharaoh’s daughter) \n\nI used to dream that I would raise a prince, \n\nBut gods almighty, have you seen what happened since?\n\nMaster of the Jews — just a rotten kid!\n\n Can’t he see we need another pyramid? \n\nFoolish little man, doesn’t Moses know \n\nPharaoh’s never gonna let the Hebrews go. \n\nWhat a cruel trick of nature! This is not the son I’d choose. \n\nOnce a Hebrew bastard, now he is the Master of the Jews.\n\n(sung by the Hebrews) \n\nMaster of the Jews — isn’t that a laugh? \n\nWe’d be better worshiping a golden calf. \n\nTelling us to pack, telling us to flee, \n\nPromising that God will end our slavery. \n\nHolding out the hope of freedom, saying that it’s ours to choose. \n\nHeading to disaster quick — Hey, don’t the Pharaoh’s cows look sick? \n\nHeading to disaster following the Master of the Jews.\n\n12. Ruler of the Universe (to the tune of “Phantom of the Opera”)\n\nYou saw a desert bush burst into flame. \n\nYou heard my booming voice call out your name. \n\nDon’t try to run away. You’ll only find \n\nThe Ru--ler of the Universe is there inside your mind! \n\nNow, Moses, you must march to Pharaoh’s throne. \n\nNo need to be afraid. You’re not alone. \n\nMy power and your voice are one combined. \n\nThe Ru-ler of the Universe is there inside your mind!\n\n13. Sweet Kosher Wine (to the tune of “Sweet Caroline”) \n\nAdonai said, “I never will forget you. I will make Pharaoh set you free.” \n\nNow here we are, drinking the wine we savor \n\nAs we recall our slavery. \n\n(Chorus) \n\nHands…pouring wine, \n\nReaching out, red for me, white for you.\n\n Sweet kosher wine, \n\nYou make seders seem so good (so good, so good, so good) \n\nWe all recline \n\nAnd we drink you like we should. \n\nAdonai said, “If you can learn to trust me \n\nThen in the end you’ll just be fine.” \n\nNow here we are, all of these long years later \n\nDrinking our favorite seder wine. \n\n(Repeat chorus)\n\nWe Don't Talk About Pharaoh By Dave Cowen (Adapted from “We Don’t Talk About Bruno” from Encanto)\n\nWe don't talk about Pharaoh, no, no, no!\n\nWe don't talk about Pharaoh. But!\n\nIt was our Exodus day\n\nIt was our Exodus day\n\nWe were getting ready, to leave Egypt and slavery behind\n\nLeave Egypt and slavery behind\n\nPharaoh walks in with a mischievous grin-\n\n(Darkness!!!)\n\nYou telling this story, or am I?\n\n(I'm sorry, ha-chaim sheli, go on)\n\nPharaoh says, \"You’ll stay our slaves.\"\n\n(But God did for us?)\n\nEgypt’s water, He turned to blood\n\n(Savtala, get the umbrellas!)\n\nNext the frogs, lice, and flies came\n\n(What joyous days... but anyways)\n\nWe don't talk about Pharaoh, no, no, no!\n\nWe don't talk about Pharaoh!\n\nJews grew to live in fear of Pharaoh summoning then promising\n\nWe could always hear him sort of dissembling and fibbing\n\nBecause of him they got the plague of falling hail, ch-ch-ch\n\nYou would think pestilence would be so humbling\n\nYet always to Moses and the Jews he kept fibbing\n\nGrappling with prophecies he couldn't understand\n\nDid not understand\n\nKind of not to blame\n\nHe gets all the flack\n\nWhen God proclaimed\n\nPharaoh’s heart be black\n\nYet, he still did scheme\n\nTo keep his regime\n\nHey!\n\nWe don't talk about Pharaoh, no, no, no! (We don't talk about Pharaoh, no, no, no!)\n\nWe don't talk about Pharaoh (we don't talk about Pharaoh!)\n\nHe told us we could not leave\n\nFirstborn sons: dead! (Whoa, whoa!)\n\nMoses warned he’d grow boils!\n\nAnd just like He said... (Whoa, whoa!)\n\nGod said that all light would disappear, now look as foresaid (Whoa, whoa!)\n\nYour fate’s sealed when the prophecy is said!\n\nGod told us the land of our dreams would be promised, and someday be thine\n\nGod told us His power would grow, with outstretched arm and strong hand\n\nOy, Pharaoh’s on his way\n\nGod told us as we left, freedom would feel just out of reach\n\nEnslaved all over\n\nIt’s like I hear chariots now\n\nMy peeps, God wants some faith from you\n\nI can hear chariots now\n\nUh-oh Pharaoh...\n\nYeah, about that Pharaoh...\n\nYou really need to trust in Hashem...\n\nGimme that arm and hand for that Pharaoh\n\n(Jewish people, your ruler’s here\n\nTime for capture!)\n\nThe Red Sea he came (it was our Exodus day, it was our Exodus day)\n\nTo enslave us back (we were getting ready)\n\nhe never did change (to leave Egypt and slavery behind)\n\nhis heart remained black (to leave Egypt and slavery behind!)\n\nYet, all God’s plan (Pharaoh arrived with a mischievous grin-)\n\nTo part the Red Sea (Locusts!)\n\nYou telling this story, or am I?\n\n(I'm sorry, ha-chaim sheli, go on)\n\nGod said, “Jews cross the plane.”\n\nIn doing so, God floods the terrain\n\nThe Egyptians all were slain\n\nThat’s why we talk about Pharaoh, oh! \n\n(Every year we talk about Pharaoh?)\n\nYes, every year we talk about Pharaoh!\n\n(I’m glad we brought up Pharaoh!!!)", "cliptype": "text", "clipsource": null, "featured": 0, "featuredIn": null, "is_public": 1, "is_published": 1, "media": { "image": null, "audio": null, "video": null }, "thumbnail": null, "clip_section": [ { "haggadah_section": "Songs", "slug": "songs" } ], "likes": 0, "downloads": 96, "tags": [], "themes": [], "language": "0", "is_bookmarked": "0", "is_liked": 0, "meta_tags": { "title": "Passover Songs: The Parody Edition | Passover haggadah by Meira Goldfischer", "description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. 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It’s called eliYAHOO How do you drive your mother completely insane...", "user_image": "", "user_image_original": "", "body": "Hear about the internet search engine for Passover?\n\nIt’s called eliYAHOO\n\n<div>\n<hr /></div>\n\nHow do you drive your mother completely insane on Passover?\n\nIt’s really a piece of cake\n\n<div>\n<hr /></div>\n\nWhat’s your favorite Passover film?\n\nShawshankbone Redemption\n\n<div>\n<hr /></div>\n\nWhy did the matzah quit his job?\n\nBecause he didn’t get a raise\n\n<div>\n<hr /></div>\n\nWhat army base is off limits on Passover?\n\nFort Leavenworth\n\n<div>\n<hr /></div>\n\nA British Jew is waiting in line to be knighted by the Queen. He is to kneel in front of her and recite a sentence in Latin when she taps him on the shoulders with her sword. However, when his turn comes, he panics in the excitement of the moment and forgets the Latin. Then, thinking fast, he recites the only other sentence he knows in a foreign language, which he remembers from the Passover Seder:\n\n\"Ma nishtana ha layla ha zeh mi kol ha laylot.\"\n\nPuzzled, Her Majesty turns to her advisor and whispers, \"Why is this knight different from all other knights?\"\n\n<div>\n<hr /></div>\n\nA little boy once returned home from Hebrew school and his father asked, \"What did you learn today?\"\n\nHe answered, \"The Rabbi told us how Moses led the children of Israel out of Egypt.\"\n\n\"How?\"\n\nThe boy said \"Moses was a big strong man and he beat Pharaoh up. Then while he was down, he got all the people together and ran towards the sea. When he got there, he has the Corps of Engineers build a huge pontoon bridge. Once they got on the other side, they blew up the bridge while the Egyptians were trying to cross.\"\n\nThe father was shocked. \"Is that what the Rabbi taught you?\"\n\nThe boy replied, \"No. But you'd never believe the story he DID tell us!\"\n\n<div>\n<hr /></div>\n\nWhy do we have a Haggadah at Passover?\n\nSo we can Seder right words.\n\n<div>\n<hr /></div>\n\nDid you hear about the gefilte fish that went deaf?\n\nHe had to buy a herring-aid.\n\n<div>\n<hr /></div>\n\nHow does Moses make beer?\n\nHebrews it!\n\n<div>\n<hr /></div>\n\nWhen it comes to Karpas, who is the king of Passover?\n\nElvis Parsley\n\n<div>\n<hr /></div>\n\nHow does NASA organize their Passover Seders in space? They planet\n\n<div>\n<hr /></div>\n\nWhat did one Seder plate say to the other? “Dinner is on me!”\n\n<div>\n<hr /></div>\n\nWhat kind of shoes did the Egyptians wear during the plague of Frogs? Open-toad!\n\n<div>\n<hr /></div>\n\nWho is behind Pharaoh’s Evil Empire? Darth Seder\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n", "cliptype": "text", "clipsource": null, "featured": 0, "featuredIn": null, "is_public": 1, "is_published": 1, "media": { "image": null, "audio": null, "video": null }, "thumbnail": null, "clip_section": [ { "haggadah_section": "Commentary / Readings", "slug": "commentary-readings" } ], "likes": 0, "downloads": 82, "tags": [], "themes": [], "language": "0", "is_bookmarked": "0", "is_liked": 0, "meta_tags": { "title": "Fun Passover Jokes | Passover haggadah by Meira Goldfischer", "description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. 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Haggadah Section: Songs

1. Take Us Out of Egypt (By Ron Wolfson, “Take me out to the ball game")

Take us out of Egypt Free us from slavery

Bake us some matzah in a haste Don't worry 'bout flavor--

Give no thought to taste.

Oh it's rush, rush, rush, to the Red Sea If we don't cross it's a shame

For it's ten plagues, Down and you're out

At the Pesach history game.

2. Les Miselijah (By Stuart Malina, "Do you hear the people Sing" from “Les Miserables”)

Do you hear the doorbell ring, And it's a little after ten?

It can only be Elijah Come to take a sip again. He is feeling pretty fine

We don’t want him to feel loose. So perhaps instead of wine

We should only give him juice.

3. Elijah (By Rabbi Dan Liben, "Maria")

Elijah!

I just saw the prophet Elijah. And suddenly that name

Will never sound the same to me. Elijah!

He came to our Seder Elijah!

He had his cup of wine, But could not stay to dine This year--

Elijah!

For your message all Jews are waiting:

That the time's come for peace and not hating--

Elijah--

Next year we'll be waiting. Elijah!

4. Just a Tad of haroset (By Debbie and Sharon Bohnen, "Just a spoon full of sugar")

Chorus:

Just a tad of haroset helps the bitter herbs go down,

The bitter herbs go down, the bitter herbs go down.

Just a tad of haroset helps the bitter herbs go down, In the most disguising way.

Oh, back in Egypt long ago,

The Jews were slaves under Pharaoh. They sweat and toiled and labored through the day.

So when we gather Pesach night, We do what we think right.

Maror, we chew,

To feel what they went through. Chorus

So after years of slavery

They saw no chance of being free.

Their suffering was the only life they knew. But baby Moses grew up tall,

And said he'd save them all. He did, and yet,

We swear we won't forget. That

Chorus cont....

While the maror is being passed, We each refill our water glass,

Preparing for the taste that turns us red. Although maror seems full of minuses, It sure does clear our sinuses.

But what's to do?

It's hard to be a Jew!!!

Chorus

5. Pharaoh Doesn’t Pay (By Mary Ann Barrows Wark, “I’ve Been Working on the Railroad”)

I’ve been working on these buildings; Pharaoh doesn’t pay.

I’ve been doing what he tells me Like making bricks from clay.

Can’t you hear the master calling, “Hurry up, make a brick!”

Can’t you feel the master hurt me Until I’m feeling sick.

Oh is this a mess, Oh is this a mess,

Oh is this a mess, for Jews, for Jews. Oh is this a mess,

Oh is this a mess,

Oh is this a mess for Jews.

Someone’s in the palace with Pharaoh – Someone’s in the palace we know, ow, ow, ow, Someone’s in the palace with Pharaoh –

Does he know they treat us so?

Keep singing work, work, work all day, Work all day and then some mo –ore, Work, work, work all day –

Does he know they treat us so?

6. Our Passover Things (By "My Favorite Things" from the "Sound of Music" )

Cleaning and cooking and so many dishes

Out with the chametz, no pasta, no knishes

Fish that's gefilted, horseradish that stings

These are a few of our Passover things.

Matzah and karpas and chopped up haroset

Shankbones and kiddish and yiddish neuroses

Tante who kvetches and uncle who sings

These are a few of our Passover things

Motzi and moror and trouble with Pharaohs

Famines and locusts and slaves with wheelbarrows

Matzah balls floating and eggshell that clings

These are a few of our Passover things.

Chorus

When the plagues strike

When the lice bite

When we're feeling sad

We simply remember our Passover things

And then we don't feel so bad.

7. We’ll Cross the Sea (to the tune of “Under the Sea”)

You think that we all are stuck here

You think that we have no choice

We work in the sand and muck here

But what if we raise our voice?

Just trust that our God will save us And we can run far away

Where nobody will enslave us So come with me, don’t delay!

Chorus

We’ll cross the sea

Life will be better

They will get wetter

Than you and me

Back on this side we’ll slave away

But over there we all can play

So if you dare-o

Run from this pharaoh

We’ll cross the sea

8. Into the Sea ( To the tune of “Into the Woods” )

Into the sea, where Adonai Has promised that the land is dry.

Moses is here and he’s the guy, To guide us on our journey.

Into the sea— We can’t deny, The trip we take can terrify.

Will we be free or will we die, Before we start our journey?

The way is clear.

We have our guide.

So have no fear, God will provide.

The sand is up ahead.

The soldiers are behind.

I really hate to ask it, But will I need a casket?

Into the sea— We have no bread. The time was tight, and so we fled.

Moses has said we’ll all be fed, As we head on our journey.

Into the sea— We don’t know how, But we agree the time is now.

Later we’ll build a golden cow, To guide us on our journey.

Into the sea! And out of the sea! Into the sea! And out of the sea! And home before dark!

9. When You Are Free (to the tune of “When You’re a Jet” from West Side Story)

When you are free, You’ll be free all the way.

Let the pharaoh decree! You won’t have to obey.

When you are free, You won’t suffer the lash.

When you do a day’s work, You will get a day’s cash.

Imagine your life as something you can sweeten . . .

Imagine a life in which you’re never beaten By some cretin!

When you are free, You will not be a slave

Wishing that you could be Independent and brave.

When you are free, You won’t cower in fear.

You’ll be free to fly high Or fall flat on your rear.

Now listen to me, and hear what I am saying . . .

When you are free, your people will be playing, Not oy vaying!

When you are free, You can summon the nerve

To say, “Hey, look at me! Give me what I deserve.”

When you are free, You will be free!

10. Goodbye, Goodbye, Mitzrayim! (to the tune of “To Life!” from Fiddler on the Roof)

Goodbye, goodbye, Mitzrayim!

Mitzrayim, Mitzrayim, goodbye!

We’re sick of building the pyramids,

Losing our first born kids.

So Mitzrayim, goodbye!

To us and our good fortune!

To Moses and to Adonai!

Say adios to the overseer. We’re getting out of here. So Mitzrayim, goodbye!

God told Moses, “There’s a simple message That the Pharaoh really needs to know.

Take your rod and take your brother Aaron. Tell the Pharaoh, ‘Let my people go”.

To us and our good fortune!

To Moses and to Adonai!

Say adios to the overseer.

We’re getting out of here.

So Mitzrayim, goodbye!

11. Master of the Jews (to the tune of “Master of the House” from Les Miserables)

(sung by the Hebrews)

Master of the Jews, giving us a push.

Sure that God is hiding in a burning bush.

Here another frog, there a little lice.

Thinking Pharaoh’s gonna follow his advice.

If we do as Moses tells us, all of us will surely lose.

Heading to disaster following the Master of the Jews.

Water from a stone, manna from the sky.

Everything he promises is just a lie.

We will all be lost. It will be a mess

Wandering the desert without G.P.S.

Can’t you see the front page headlines?

We’ll be on the late night news.

Meeting with disaster following the Master of the Jews.

(sung by the Pharaoh’s daughter)

I used to dream that I would raise a prince,

But gods almighty, have you seen what happened since?

Master of the Jews — just a rotten kid!

Can’t he see we need another pyramid?

Foolish little man, doesn’t Moses know

Pharaoh’s never gonna let the Hebrews go.

What a cruel trick of nature! This is not the son I’d choose.

Once a Hebrew bastard, now he is the Master of the Jews.

(sung by the Hebrews)

Master of the Jews — isn’t that a laugh?

We’d be better worshiping a golden calf.

Telling us to pack, telling us to flee,

Promising that God will end our slavery.

Holding out the hope of freedom, saying that it’s ours to choose.

Heading to disaster quick — Hey, don’t the Pharaoh’s cows look sick?

Heading to disaster following the Master of the Jews.

12. Ruler of the Universe (to the tune of “Phantom of the Opera”)

You saw a desert bush burst into flame.

You heard my booming voice call out your name.

Don’t try to run away. You’ll only find

The Ru--ler of the Universe is there inside your mind!

Now, Moses, you must march to Pharaoh’s throne.

No need to be afraid. You’re not alone.

My power and your voice are one combined.

The Ru-ler of the Universe is there inside your mind!

13. Sweet Kosher Wine (to the tune of “Sweet Caroline”)

Adonai said, “I never will forget you. I will make Pharaoh set you free.”

Now here we are, drinking the wine we savor

As we recall our slavery.

(Chorus)

Hands…pouring wine,

Reaching out, red for me, white for you.

Sweet kosher wine,

You make seders seem so good (so good, so good, so good)

We all recline

And we drink you like we should.

Adonai said, “If you can learn to trust me

Then in the end you’ll just be fine.”

Now here we are, all of these long years later

Drinking our favorite seder wine.

(Repeat chorus)

We Don't Talk About Pharaoh By Dave Cowen (Adapted from “We Don’t Talk About Bruno” from Encanto)

We don't talk about Pharaoh, no, no, no!

We don't talk about Pharaoh. But!

It was our Exodus day

We were getting ready, to leave Egypt and slavery behind

Leave Egypt and slavery behind

Pharaoh walks in with a mischievous grin-

(Darkness!!!)

You telling this story, or am I?

(I'm sorry, ha-chaim sheli, go on)

Pharaoh says, "You’ll stay our slaves."

(But God did for us?)

Egypt’s water, He turned to blood

(Savtala, get the umbrellas!)

Next the frogs, lice, and flies came

(What joyous days... but anyways)

We don't talk about Pharaoh, no, no, no!

We don't talk about Pharaoh!

Jews grew to live in fear of Pharaoh summoning then promising

We could always hear him sort of dissembling and fibbing

Because of him they got the plague of falling hail, ch-ch-ch

You would think pestilence would be so humbling

Yet always to Moses and the Jews he kept fibbing

Grappling with prophecies he couldn't understand

Did not understand

Kind of not to blame

He gets all the flack

When God proclaimed

Pharaoh’s heart be black

Yet, he still did scheme

To keep his regime

Hey!

We don't talk about Pharaoh, no, no, no! (We don't talk about Pharaoh, no, no, no!)

We don't talk about Pharaoh (we don't talk about Pharaoh!)

He told us we could not leave

Firstborn sons: dead! (Whoa, whoa!)

Moses warned he’d grow boils!

And just like He said... (Whoa, whoa!)

God said that all light would disappear, now look as foresaid (Whoa, whoa!)

Your fate’s sealed when the prophecy is said!

God told us the land of our dreams would be promised, and someday be thine

God told us His power would grow, with outstretched arm and strong hand

Oy, Pharaoh’s on his way

God told us as we left, freedom would feel just out of reach

Enslaved all over

It’s like I hear chariots now

My peeps, God wants some faith from you

I can hear chariots now

Uh-oh Pharaoh...

Yeah, about that Pharaoh...

You really need to trust in Hashem...

Gimme that arm and hand for that Pharaoh

(Jewish people, your ruler’s here

Time for capture!)

The Red Sea he came (it was our Exodus day, it was our Exodus day)

To enslave us back (we were getting ready)

he never did change (to leave Egypt and slavery behind)

his heart remained black (to leave Egypt and slavery behind!)

Yet, all God’s plan (Pharaoh arrived with a mischievous grin-)

To part the Red Sea (Locusts!)

You telling this story, or am I?

(I'm sorry, ha-chaim sheli, go on)

God said, “Jews cross the plane.”

In doing so, God floods the terrain

The Egyptians all were slain

That’s why we talk about Pharaoh, oh!

(Every year we talk about Pharaoh?)

Yes, every year we talk about Pharaoh!

(I’m glad we brought up Pharaoh!!!)

Contributed byMeira Goldfischer3 Haggadahs• 6 Clips

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MAZON: A Jewish Response to Hunger

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Be'chol Lashon

PJ Library

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