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"body": "<p>The first words in the creation of the universe out of the unformed, void and dark earth were God’s “Let there be light.\" Therein lies the hope and faith of Judaism and the obligation of our people: to make the light of justice, compassion, and knowledge penetrate the darkness of our time</p>\n\n<p>The seder officially begins with a physical act: lighting the candles. In Jewish tradition, lighting candles and saying a blessing over them marks a time of transition, from the day that is ending to the one that is beginning, from ordinary time to sacred time. Lighting the candles is an important part of our Passover celebration because their flickering light reminds us of the importance of keeping the fragile flame of freedom alive in the world.</p>\n\n<p> <em>Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu melech ha'olam asher kid'shanu b'mitzvotav, v'tzivanu l'hadlik ner shel Yom Tov.</em> </p>\n\n<p><strong>Blessed is the spirit of freedom in whose honor we kindle the lights of the holiday, Passsover, the season of Freedom.</strong></p>\n\n<p><strong>As we light the festival candles, we acknowledge that as they brighten our Passover table, good thoughts, good words, and good deeds brighten our days.</strong></p>\n\n<p> <em>Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu melech ha'olam, asher kid'shanu b'mitzvotav v'tzivanu l'hadlik ner shel [Shabbat v'shel] Yom Tov.</em> </p>\n\n<p><strong>We praise You, Adonai our God, ruler of the Universe, </strong></p>\n\n<p><strong>Who makes us holy by your mitzvot and commands us to light the [Sabbath and ]Festival lights.</strong></p>\n\n<p>Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu melech ha'olam, shehecheyanu v'kiy'manu v'higianu lazman hazeh.</p>\n\n<p><strong>We praise You, Adonai our God, ruler of the Universe, Who has kept us alive and well so that we can celebrate this special time.</strong></p>\n",
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"body": "<p><strong> <em>The matzot are uncovered.</em> </strong></p>\n\n<p><strong>This night is different from all other nights because of our unique celebration of freedom. We eat only matzah to highlight the tale of our hasty exodus from Egypt.</strong></p>\n\n<p><strong>We eat bitter herbs so that we too may sample at least a taste of bitterness.</strong></p>\n\n<p><strong>We dip our bitter herbs twice, once in salt water and once in sweet charoset, as we remember both the salty tears of our ancestors and the sweetness of their hope for freedom.</strong></p>\n\n<p><strong>As a symbol of our comfort, we recline and eat as free men and women.</strong></p>\n\n<p>This night is different from all the other nights because once we were slaves to the Pharaoh in Egypt, but Adonai, our God, took us out with a mighty hand and outstretched arm. If Adonai had not brought our ancestors out of the Egypt, then we, and our children, and our children's children would still be slaves in the land of Egypt. Even if we know the story well and have told it many times, the more we tell it in great details, the more we are to be praised.</p>\n\n<p>This night is also different because once we worshipped idols, but now we worship only Adonai, the One Who is Everywhere.</p>\n\n<p> <em>Baruch HaMakom, Baruch Hu.</em> </p>\n\n<p> <em>Baruch shenaton Torah l'amo Yisrael, Baruch Hu.</em> </p>\n\n<p><strong>Praised be God Who Is Everywhere. Praised be God.</strong></p>\n\n<p><strong>Praised be God who gave the Torah to the people of Israel. Praised be God.</strong></p>\n",
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"body": "<p>Wine symbolizes the \"joy of life.\" Tonight we drink wine four times during the seder, representing God's four promises to the Israelites of redemption from slavery, which are mentioned in the Book of Exodus (Chapter 13):</p>\n\n<ol>\n\t<li>\"I will free you.\"</li>\n\t<li>\"I will deliver you.\"</li>\n\t<li>\"I will redeem you.\"</li>\n\t<li>\"I will take you to be My people.\"</li>\n</ol>\n",
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"body": "<p><strong>Here We Are</strong></p>\n\n<p>Source: Jonathan Safran Foer</p>\n\n<p> <em>Hineni</em>. Here we are, gathered to celebrate the oldest continuously practiced ritual in the Western world, to retell what is arguably the best known of all stories, to take part in the most widely practiced Jewish holiday. Here we are as last year, and as we hope to be next year. Here we are, as night descends in succession over all of the Jews of the world, with a book in front of us.</p>\n\n<p>Jews have a special relationship with books. In the absence of a stable homeland, Jews have made their home in books, and the Haggadah has been translated more widely, and reprinted more often, than any other Jewish book. It is not a work of history or philosophy, not a prayer book, user’s manual, timeline, poem, or palimpsest – and yet it is all of these things. The Torah is the foundational text for Jewish law, but the Haggadah is our book of living memory. We are not merely telling a story here. We are being called to a radical act of empathy. Here we are, embarking on an ancient, perennial attempt to give human life – <em>our lives</em> – dignity.</p>\n\n<p>Here we are: Individuals remembering a shared past in pursuit of a shared destiny. The seder is a protest against despair. The universe might appear deaf to our fears and hopes, but we are not – so we gather, and share them, and pass them down. We have been waiting for this moment for thousands of years – more than one hundred generations of Jews have been here as we are – and we will continue to wait for it. And we will not wait idly.</p>\n",
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"body": "<p><strong>Why a Family Haggadah?</strong></p>\n\n<p>Source: Jonathan Safran Foer</p>\n\n\n\n<p>All my life, my parents have hosted the Seder on the first night of Passover. As our family expanded and as our definition of family expanded, we moved the ritual dinner from our dining room to our more spacious, mildewed basement. At each setting was a Haggadah that my parents had assembled by photocopying favorite passages from other Haggadot and, when the Foers finally got Internet access, by printing online sources. Why is this night different from all others? Because on this night copyright doesn’t apply.</p>\n\n\n",
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"body": "<p><strong>Why Are We Here?</strong></p>\n\n<p>By Judy Feder</p>\n\n\n\n<p>To tell the story of the Exodus</p>\n\n<p>To remember who we are, where we came from, and what is important</p>\n\n<p>To celebrate freedom and be thankful for it</p>\n\n<p>To share</p>\n\n<p>To pray for redemption</p>\n\n<p>To protest against despair</p>\n\n<p>To think</p>\n\n<p>To hope</p>\n\n<p>The Haggadah transforms parents into storytellers. My parents bring me into contact with my historical roots, with my grandparents and a world other than me. Whether it is relevant, the child will decide; but the parent must bear witness to a history and a memory that is needed in order to realize that there is a dimension to existence beyond the self. Parents should not determine their children’s future, but they must open for them their past. <em>Source: David Hartman, Jewish philosopher</em> </p>\n",
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"body": "<p><strong>I Still Believe</strong></p>\n\n<p>Source: <em>Diary of Anne Frank</em> </p>\n\n<p>That’s the difficulty in these times: ideals, dreams, and cherished hopes rise within us, only to meet the horrible truth and be shattered.</p>\n\n<p>It’s really a wonder that I haven’t dropped all my ideals, because they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out. Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart. I simply can’t build up my hopes on a foundation consisting of confusion, misery, and death. I see the world gradually being turned into a wilderness. I hear the ever-approaching thunder, which will destroy us, too. I can feel the suffering of millions – and yet, if I look up to the heavens, I think it will come out all right, that this cruelty too will end, and that peace and tranquility will return again.</p>\n",
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"body": "<p>The first words in the creation of the universe out of the unformed, void and dark earth were God’s “Let there be light.\" Therein lies the hope and faith of Judaism and the obligation of our people: to make the light of justice, compassion, and knowledge penetrate the darkness of our time</p>\n\n<p>The seder officially begins with a physical act: lighting the candles. In Jewish tradition, lighting candles and saying a blessing over them marks a time of transition, from the day that is ending to the one that is beginning, from ordinary time to sacred time. Lighting the candles is an important part of our Passover celebration because their flickering light reminds us of the importance of keeping the fragile flame of freedom alive in the world.</p>\n\n<p> <em>Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu melech ha'olam asher kid'shanu b'mitzvotav, v'tzivanu l'hadlik ner shel Yom Tov.</em> </p>\n\n<p><strong>Blessed is the spirit of freedom in whose honor we kindle the lights of the holiday, Passsover, the season of Freedom.</strong></p>\n\n<p><strong>As we light the festival candles, we acknowledge that as they brighten our Passover table, good thoughts, good words, and good deeds brighten our days.</strong></p>\n\n<p> <em>Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu melech ha'olam, asher kid'shanu b'mitzvotav v'tzivanu l'hadlik ner shel [Shabbat v'shel] Yom Tov.</em> </p>\n\n<p><strong>We praise You, Adonai our God, ruler of the Universe,</strong></p>\n\n<p><strong>Who makes us holy by your mitzvot and commands us to light the [Sabbath and ]Festival lights.</strong></p>\n\n<p>Baruch Atah Adonai Eloheinu melech ha'olam, shehecheyanu v'kiy'manu v'higianu lazman hazeh.</p>\n\n<p><strong>We praise You, Adonai our God, ruler of the Universe, Who has kept us alive and well so that we can celebrate this special time.</strong></p>\n",
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"body": "<p><strong>The Order of the Seder:</strong></p>\n\n<p>The word Seder means order. Tonight's ritual is performed in a specific order, as it has been for thousands of years. The steps represent the <em>Shir Ha'ma’alos</em> in Psalms - the fifteen songs of ascent. Our Seder follows a fifteen-step ascent.</p>\n\n<p><strong>The SEDER of the SEDER</strong></p>\n\n<p><strong>Kadesh</strong> - We say the Kiddush - the first cup of wine</p>\n\n<p><strong>Ur'chatz</strong> - We wash our hands</p>\n\n<p><strong>Karpas </strong>- We dip a vegetable in salt water, and say a blessing</p>\n\n<p><strong>Yachatz </strong>- We break the middle matzah, and hide the larger half, the Afikomen</p>\n\n<p><strong>Maggid </strong>- We tell the story of Passover, including the four questions, and the second cup of wine</p>\n\n<p><strong>Rachtzah </strong>- We wash our hands with a blessing</p>\n\n<p><strong>Motzi - </strong>We say the blessing for bread</p>\n\n<p><strong>Matzah </strong>- We say the blessing for matzah</p>\n\n<p><strong>Maror </strong>- We dip bitter herbs in charoset, and say a blessing</p>\n\n<p><strong>Korech </strong>- We eat a sandwich of matzah and bitter herbs</p>\n\n<p><strong>Shulchan Orech</strong> - We eat the festive meal</p>\n\n<p><strong>Tzafoon </strong>- We eat the Afikomen</p>\n\n<p><strong>Barech </strong>- We say the blessings after the meal, say the blessing over the third cup of wine. We welcome Elijah, the prophet</p>\n\n<p><strong>Hallel </strong>- We sing songs of praise</p>\n\n<p><strong>Nirtzah </strong>- We complete our Seder, praying that god accepts our service</p>\n",
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"body": "<p><strong>Two Interpretations of Order</strong></p>\n\n<p>Adapted from The New American Haggadah</p>\n\n\n\n<p><u><strong>Reading 1</strong></u>. The Passover seder is conducted in an orderly fashion, with each ritual performed at a certain time, in a certain way, according to thousands of years of tradition This is surprising, as the Jewish people do not have a history of being particularly well organized. Look around the table. Soon things will be spilled. You might be sitting with people you do not know very well or do not like very much, so your own emotional state is somewhat disordered. Nobody likes everything served at the Passover dinner, so there will be chaos within people’s plates, and the room is likely to be either too hot or too cold for someone, creating a chaos of discomfort. Perhaps there is someone who has not yet been seated, even as the seder is beginning, because they are “checking the food,” a phrase which here means sneaking a few bites when they’re supposed to be participating in the ceremony.</p>\n\n<p>This is as it should be. Passover celebrates freedom, and while the evening will proceed in a certain order, it is the muddle and mess around the order that represent the freedom that everyone deserves. With that in mind,</p>\n\n<ol>\n\t<li>\n\t<p>Feel free to let your hosts know ahead of time about anything – i.e., eggs in salt water, gefilte fish, matzo ball soup – that you definitely DO NOT want to eat. We don’t mind, and as Jews, we hate to waste food.</p>\n\t</li>\n\t<li>\n\t<p>Feel free to excuse yourself in an orderly fashion at some point in the ceremony to check on the food.</p>\n\t</li>\n</ol>\n\n\n\n<p><u>Reading 2.</u> Judaism, particularly in its American expression, is not thought of as a law-and-order religion. But it very much is, if not in the string-‘em-up sense of the term - punishment in Judaism is accompanied by the promise of mercy. We are, of course, a people of laws, and we are also a people of order, of seder. Our foundation story, in the book of Genesis, is a tightly organized account of the making of order out of chaos.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>In Judaism, law is holy. But not all laws. The laws of man must be subjected to a vigorous test: whether or not they conform to moral law as set forth by God.</p>\n\n<p>Passover is the most politically radical of all holidays in part because the book of Exodus contains the first known example in ancient literature of civil disobedience. In the Egypt of the Exodus, Pharaoh was the law, and he ordered the midwives Shifra and Puah to kill the sons of the Israelites. But the law was just. So these two heroic midwives broke an unjust law and most likely risked their lives to honor a higher law and allow the boys to live. Their bravery causes us to ask ourselves: Are there times when we should have resisted an unjust man-made law, and did not?</p>\n\n\n",
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"body": "<p><strong>The Two-Minute Haggadah: A Passover Service for the Impatient</strong></p>\n\n<p>By Michael Rubiner</p>\n\n\n\n<p>This will come in handy for many people and may someday replace this entire Haggadah. Maybe it will even happen tonight, depending on the host and the seder leader.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Opening prayers:</p>\n\n<p>Thanks, God, for creating wine. (Drink wine.)</p>\n\n<p>Thanks for creating produce. (Eat parsley.)</p>\n\n<p>Overview: Once we were slaves in Egypt. Now we’re free. That’s why we’re doing this.</p>\n\n<p>Four questions:</p>\n\n<ol>\n\t<li>\n\t<p>What’s up with the matzah?</p>\n\t</li>\n\t<li>\n\t<p>What’s the deal with the horseradish?</p>\n\t</li>\n\t<li>\n\t<p>What’s with the dipping of the herbs?</p>\n\t</li>\n\t<li>\n\t<p>What’s this whole slouching at the table business?</p>\n\t</li>\n</ol>\n\n\n\n<p>Answers:</p>\n\n<ol>\n\t<li>\n\t<p>When we left Egypt, we were in a hurry. There was no time for making decent bread. (At this point, Stephen of his proxy will discuss McDonald’s.)</p>\n\t</li>\n\t<li>\n\t<p>Life was bitter, like horseradish.</p>\n\t</li>\n\t<li>\n\t<p>It’s called symboslim.</p>\n\t</li>\n\t<li>\n\t<p>Free people get to slouch.</p>\n\t</li>\n</ol>\n\n<p>The four kinds of children and how to deal with them:</p>\n\n<p>Wise child – explain Passover.</p>\n\n<p>Simple child – explain Passover slowly.</p>\n\n<p>Silent child – explain Passover loudly.</p>\n\n<p>Wicked child – browbeat in front of the relatives.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Speaking of children: We hid some matzah. Whoever finds it gets five bucks.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>The story of Passover: It’s a long time ago. We’re slaves in Egypt. Pharaoh is a nightmare. We cry out for help. God brings plagues upon the Egyptians. We escape, bake some matzo. God parts the Red Sea. We make it through; the Egyptians aren’t so lucky. We wander for 40 years in the desert, eat manna, get the Torah, wind up in Israel, get a new temple, enjoy several years without being persecuted again. (Let brisket cool now.)</p>\n\n<p>The 10 Plagues: Blood, frogs, lice – you name it!</p>\n\n<p>The singing of “Dayenu”:</p>\n\n<p>If God hadn’t gotten us out of Egypt and not punished our enemies it would have been enough. If He had punished our enemies and not parted the Red Sea, it would have been enough.</p>\n\n<p>If He’d parted the Red Sea, it would have teen enough. (Remove gefilte fish from refrigerator now.)</p>\n\n<p>Eat matzah. Drink more wine. Slouch.</p>\n\n<p>Thanks again, God, for everything.</p>\n\n\n",
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"body": "<p><strong>A Realization</strong></p>\n\n<p>By Judy Feder</p>\n\n\n\n<p>While working on this Haggadah, I have come to realize that the Passover seder is much like a rock concert or a fundraising event or a beauty contest. You come for the “main event” – in this case, the story and the meal – but you must wait for an endless procession of opening acts or runners-up. For example, we read that “Maggid” means “telling the story”. But, before we can tell the story, we first have to ask Four Questions and answer them, and then answer them. And then we have to deal with the Four Children – known in more chauvinistic times as the Four Sons – and discuss the symbolism.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>I guess that if there was one thing the Jews learned from wandering around in the desert for 40 years, it was to be patient. So, I guess we can be patient for another 40 minutes or so before eating.</p>\n\n<p>But, have hope! The Passover Story is coming much sooner than 40 minutes from now, and it is well worth the wait. Drew gave it five stars.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>And, who knows? Maybe your host and seder leader next year will choose the Two-Minute Seder.</p>\n\n\n",
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"body": "<p><strong>The Passover Story (At Last!)</strong></p>\n\n<p>Source: <em>For This We Left Egypt? By Dave Barry, Alan Zweibel and Adam Mansbach</em></p>\n\n\n\n<p>The Passover story begins thousands of years ago in the land of Egypt, which is located in the Middle East, unfortunately. Egypt was ruled by a man called the Pharaoh, who was very powerful. Like one time he said, “I want a pyramid,” and although it took many years, a group of Egyptian workers actually built him a pyramid. When the Pharaoh saw it, he was very surprised, because what he actually wanted was some soup, which in ancient Egyptian sounds very similar to the word for pyramid. So everybody had a good laugh, and then Pharaoh had the workers executed, because that’s how embarrassed he was.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>So anyway, around this time, a nice Jewish boy named Joseph arrived in Egypt, and he came to be an advisor to the Pharaoh because he had a degree in management. 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The Israelites were forced to hard work, such as hewing stones, which as you would know if you ever hewed a stone, is no picnic. But the Israelites continued to multiply, so Pharaoh Schmuck decreed that every male baby born to an Israelite woman had to be cast into the River Nile, where they ran a risk of, at minimum, getting a cramp, particularly if they were cast too soon after eating a heavy meal.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>There was an Israelite couple named Amram and Yocheved, who had a male baby, but they didn’t want him to be cast into the Nile. So instead, they hid him for three months. Then they put him into a basket and put the basket into the Nile. But it was OK because they ysed an ancient Egyptian car seat. Their daughter, Miriam, hid in the reeds and watched to see what happened next, which you will find out in the next paragraph.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>As it happened, at that moment, Pharaoh’s beautiful daughter was bathing in the Nile, which she preferred because the Pharaoh’s bathroom still smelled faintly of grain. She noticed this baby floating past in a basket and she said, “I shall keep this baby, as apparently it does not belong to anybody!” Yes, she was beautiful, but dumber than a brick.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Miriam stepped out from behind the reeds and offered to raise baby and have her mom (who of course was Yocheved, the baby’s real mother) be the nurse. The Pharaoh’s daughter was like, “Sure!” So, bottom line, this woman went to take a bath and came home with a baby and two new domestic employees. We can only imagine what she would have done with a credit card. 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This raised several questions in Moses’s mind, such as:</p>\n\n<ol>\n\t<li>\n\t<p>Were the milk and honey flowing separately, or mixed together?</p>\n\t</li>\n\t<li>\n\t<p>Were they flowing right on the ground?</p>\n\t</li>\n\t<li>\n\t<p>Wouldn’t that attract insects?</p>\n\t</li>\n</ol>\n\n\n\n<p>But this did not seem like a good time to interrupt.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>God told Moses that he should go back to Egypt and tell the Pharaoh to let the Israelites go or God would bring plagues down upon the Egyptians. Moses said “OK” because when a divine, all-powerful, flaming shrubbery tells you to do something, you do it.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Discussion questions:</p>\n\n<ol>\n\t<li>\n\t<p>Would you store grain in a bathroom? Why or why not?</p>\n\t</li>\n\t<li>\n\t<p>According to scripture, Moses had a speech impediment. Some scholars believe that Adonai (God) chose a leader with a handicap to prove that he does not require perfection. 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"body": "<p><strong>The Ten Plagues</strong></p>\n\n<p>Source: <em>For This We Left Egypt?</em></p>\n\n\n\n<p>Moses asked the Pharaoh to free the Israelites, but the Pharaoh refused because he was a schmuck. So God brought ten plagues upon Egypt, and each time, the Pharaoh got scared and promised to free the Israelites. But, he did not, because in addition to being a schmuck, he had the IQ of a glazed doughnut. It was only after the tenth and scariest plague that it finally dawned on his tiny Pharaoh brain that unless he wanted God to turn the entire Egyptian population into sea urchins or something, he’d better let the Israelites go.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>We fill our cups with a meh wine that we do not mind spilling to remember how happy we were when this happened. But, we are not totally happy, because we are Jewish, and thus we can never be truly happy except when the Knicks win the title. Also we feel a little bad for the Egyptians, because it’s not like they had a democracy and said, “Hey, let’s elect a moron to be the Pharaoh!” So instead of drinking all the wine or even a nice martini right now, we dip our fingers into our cups and spatter wine droplets all over a perfectly good tablecloth, which will have to be dry-cleaned – but go ahead, it’s fine – as we say the names of the plagues: Blood, locusts, frogs, lice, boils, humidity, nervousness, Jerry Lewis, gluten, constipation.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>[Commentary from Judy Feder. In the election of 2016, the people of the United States, who lived – at least at that time – in a democracy, elected an evil moron to be president. But, not all of them elected him; in fact, not even half of the people voted for him. We feel bad for the people who didn’t vote for the evil, moron president, so now as then, we do not drink all the wine or enjoy a nice martini, or pina colada, or whatever.]</p>\n\n\n",
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"body": "<p><strong>The Price of Freedom</strong></p>\n\n<p>Source: <em>The New American Haggadah</em></p>\n\n\n\n<p>Our impulse is to run from this moment, to pretend that our merciful God has not transformed into a God who snuffs out the lives of children. But this story exists for a reason, and perhaps not the one often assumed. The plagues suffered by the Egyptians are meant not merely to serve as expedient metaphors. This is a political story, yes, but one with a harsh and morally problematical lesson about the price of freedom.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>There is no such thing as immaculate liberation. From time to time, such as in the Velvet Revolution of the former Czechoslovakia, liberation has been achieved without the shedding of blood. But it’s naïve to think that the defeat of evil comes without cost.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>The Exodus story ends in freedom for Jews; the Civil War ended with freedom for African-Americans; World War II ended with fascism vanquished and the death camps liberated. Can we say that the ends don’t justify the means?</p>\n\n<p><br />\n </p>\n",
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"body": "<p><strong>Meanwhile, Back at the Red Sea</strong></p>\n\n<p>Source: <em>For This We Left Egypt?</em></p>\n\n\n\n<p>Shortly after letting the Israelites leave Egypt, the Pharaoh realized he had made a terrible mistake. Sure, killer angels had just slaughtered a large percentage of his people’s children, and the streets were a disgusting stew of blood, frogs, and locusts, and it was hailing and dark, and everyone had lice and boils. But on the other hand, the Pharaoh had just lost his free labor force, to say nothing of what the Israelites’ departure was going to do to the Egyptian entertainment industry. Also, the Pharaoh was a huge fan of gefilte fish, which his Egyptian chefs couldn’t seem to get right no matter hard he had them flogged.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>So Pharaoh sent his army to bring the Israelites back. His soldiers caught up with them on the banks of the Sea of Reeds. When they saw the Egyptian army, the Israelites were afraid and cried out, “Oh crap! Boy, are we royally screwed now? No pun intended!”</p>\n\n\n\n<p>But they were wrong, for at that moment, Adonai told Moses to lift his rod. Moses was briefly uncomfortable with this command, but then he remembered that he was carrying a walking stick. He raised it, and a strong east wind parted the waters of the sea, leaving space for the Israelites to cross over dry land and also pick up an array of interesting seashells.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>The Egyptian army, none of whom apparently had been paying the slightest attention to anything happening in Egypt over the previous couple of weeks, decided it would be a good idea to follow them.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Moses lifted his rod again, and the waters rushed back and covered the Eqyptian soldiers.</p>\n\n\n",
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"body": "<p><strong>Tzafun </strong><strong>–</strong><strong> The Afikomen</strong></p>\n\n<p>Sources: Jewish Boston and Elie Wiesel</p>\n\n\n\n<p>The playfulness of finding the afikomen reminds us that we balance our solemn memories of slavery with a joyous celebration of freedom.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Since we no longer eat the paschal lamb, for the Temple has been destroyed, it is the taste of the afikomen which must remain with us for the rest of the evening. But first we must buy it back from our children.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>As we eat the afikomen, we are grateful for moments of silliness and happiness in our lives.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Long ago, it was the custom after leaving the table to go elsewhere for more festivities. Sometimes the religious celebration degenerated into noisy revelry. To avoid this, it was decreed that after the afikomen, there would be no more eating. But there could be more drinking. And so, please fill your third cup.</p>\n\n\n",
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"covertext": "An alternate translation for the prayer over the third cup of wine. [Source: For This We Left Egypt?] We praise you, Ado...",
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"body": "<p>An alternate translation for the prayer over the third cup of wine. [Source: <em>For This We Left Egypt?</em>]</p>\n\n<p>We praise you, Adonai our God, ruler of the universe, commander of the cosmos, capo di tutti capi, Lord of the Rings, queen of the prom who creates the fruit of the vine and all the varietals thereof, including (but not limited to) your merlots, your cabernet sauvignons, your zinfandels, and, for the dessert course, your sauternes; and who, more importantly, created fermentation, without which we would never get through the entire Seder without stabbing ourselves in the eyeball with a fork.</p>\n\n\n",
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"covertext": "From “Ani Maamin” (“I Believe”), a Poem by Elie Wiesel A camp. An inmate. A creature without a name, A man without a fac...",
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"body": "<p><strong>From </strong><strong>“</strong><strong>Ani Maamin</strong><strong>”</strong><strong> (</strong><strong>“</strong><strong>I Believe</strong><strong>”</strong><strong>), a Poem by Elie Wiesel</strong></p>\n\n<p>A camp.</p>\n\n<p>An inmate.</p>\n\n<p>A creature without a name,</p>\n\n<p>A man without a face,</p>\n\n<p>Without a destiny.</p>\n\n<p>It is night.</p>\n\n<p>The first night of Passover.</p>\n\n<p>The camp is asleep,</p>\n\n<p>He alone is awake.</p>\n\n<p>He talks to himself</p>\n\n<p>Soundlessly.</p>\n\n<p>I hear his words,</p>\n\n<p>I capture his silence.</p>\n\n<p>To himself, to me,</p>\n\n<p>He is saying:</p>\n\n<p>I have not partaken of matzot,</p>\n\n<p>Nor of maror.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>I have not emptied the four cups,</p>\n\n<p>Symbols of the four deliverances.</p>\n\n<p>I did not invite</p>\n\n<p>The hungry</p>\n\n<p>To share my repast –</p>\n\n<p>Or even my hunger.</p>\n\n<p>No longer have I a son</p>\n\n<p>To ask me</p>\n\n<p>The four questions –</p>\n\n<p>No longer have I the strength</p>\n\n<p>To answer …</p>\n\n<p>The parable of Chad Gadya is misleading:</p>\n\n<p>God will not come</p>\n\n<p>To slay the slaughterer.</p>\n\n<p>The innocent victims</p>\n\n<p>Will go unavenged.</p>\n\n<p>The ancient wish –</p>\n\n<p>Leshana habaa bi-Yerushalaim</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Will not be granted.</p>\n\n<p>I shall not be in Jerusalem</p>\n\n<p>Next year.</p>\n\n<p>Or anywhere else.</p>\n\n<p>I shall not be.</p>\n\n<p>And then,</p>\n\n<p>How do I know</p>\n\n<p>That Jerusalem is there,</p>\n\n<p>Far away,</p>\n\n<p>That Jerusalem is not here?</p>\n\n<p>Still, I recite the Haggadah</p>\n\n<p>As though I believe in it.</p>\n\n<p>And I await the prophet</p>\n\n<p> Elijah,</p>\n\n<p>As I did long ago.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>I open my heart to him</p>\n\n<p>And say:</p>\n\n<p>Welcome, prophet of the promise,</p>\n\n<p>Welcome, herald of redemption.</p>\n\n<p>Come, share in my story,</p>\n\n<p>Come, rejoice with the dead</p>\n\n<p>That we are.</p>\n\n<p>Empty the cup</p>\n\n<p>That bears your name.</p>\n\n<p>Come to us,</p>\n\n<p>Come to us on the Passover night:</p>\n\n<p>We are in Egypt</p>\n\n<p>And we are the ones</p>\n\n<p>To suffer God’s plagues</p>\n\n<p>Come, friend of the poor,</p>\n\n<p>Defender of the oppressed,</p>\n\n<p>Come.</p>\n\n<p>I shall wait for you.</p>\n\n<p>And even if you disappoint me</p>\n\n<p>I shall go on waiting,</p>\n\n<p>Ani Maamin.</p>\n\n\n",
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"body": "<p>Think freely. Smile often.</p>\n\n<p>Tell those you love that you do.</p>\n\n<p>Rediscover old friends. Make new ones.</p>\n\n<p>Hope. Grow. Give. Give in.</p>\n\n<p>Pick some daisies. Share them.</p>\n\n<p>Keep a promise.</p>\n\n<p>Laugh heartily.</p>\n\n<p>Reach out. Let someone in.</p>\n\n<p>Hug a kid. Slow down.</p>\n\n<p>See a sunrise. Listen to rain. Trust life.</p>\n\n<p>Have faith. Enjoy. Make some mistakes.</p>\n\n<p>Learn from them. Explore the unknown.</p>\n\n<p>Celebrate life!</p>\n\n\n",
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"body": "<p><strong>Chad Gadya</strong></p>\n\n<p>From a commentary by Elie Wiesel: And here we are, ready to conclude with <em>Chad Gadya</em>. This beautiful, innocent song tells the story of a father who buys a little goat for his son. But everything goes wrong: God’s creatures wound and devour one another, the elements try to destroy one another.</p>\n\n<p>What a puzzling way to end a joyous meal. The song evokes the destiny of the Jewish people; that is clear. But who symbolizes the Jewish people? The child who receives the goat. The child, though saddened by the goat’s disappearance, remains til the end. But when is that? The end is when death is defeated. The end is the death of death.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>The real meaning of the song may be that, in Jewish history, all creatures, all beings, all events are connected. The goat and the cat, the fire and the water, the slaughterer and the redeemer are all part of the story.</p>\n\n<p>Sometimes stories are sad. Still, it is important to tell them and retell them, to live them again and again, this year and next, when we shall meet again around this Seder table.</p>\n\n\n\n\n",
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"body": "<p><em>Who Knows One?</em></p>\n\n<p>A cumulative song that enumerates thirteen Jewish motifs and ideas. Each verse is to be recited without taking a breath.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>I know One.</p>\n\n<p>One is our God, in heaven and on earth.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Who knows two?</p>\n\n<p>I know two.</p>\n\n<p>Two are the tablets of the covenant; one is our God in heaven and on earth.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Who knows three?</p>\n\n<p>I know three.</p>\n\n<p>Three are the patriarchs; two are the tablets of the covenant; one is our God in heaven and on earth.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Who knows four?</p>\n\n<p>I know four.</p>\n\n<p>Four are the matriarchs; three are the patriarchs; two are the tablets of the covenant; one is our God in heaven and on earth.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Who knows five?</p>\n\n<p>I know five.</p>\n\n<p>Five are the books of the Torah; four are the matriarchs; three are the patriarchs; two are the tablets of the covenant; one is our God in heaven and on earth.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Who knows six?</p>\n\n<p>I know six.</p>\n\n<p>Six are the sections of the Mishnah; five are the books of the Torah; four are the matriarchs; three are the patriarchs; two are the tablets of the covenant; one is our God in heaven and on earth.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Who knows seven?</p>\n\n<p>I know seven.</p>\n\n<p>Seven are the days of the week; six are the sections of the Mishnah; five are the books of the Torah; four are the matriarchs; three are the patriarchs; two are the tablets of the covenant; one is our God in heaven and on earth.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Who knows eight?</p>\n\n<p>I know eight.</p>\n\n<p>Eight are the days until circumcision; Seven are the days of the week; six are the sections of the Mishnah; five are the books of the Torah; four are the matriarchs; three are the patriarchs; two are the tablets of the covenant; one is our God in heaven and on earth.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Who knows nine?</p>\n\n<p>I know nine.</p>\n\n<p>Nine are the month of pregnancy; eight are the days until circumcision; Seven are the days of the week; six are the sections of the Mishnah; five are the books of the Torah; four are the matriarchs; three are the patriarchs; two are the tablets of the covenant; one is our God in heaven and on earth.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Who knows ten?</p>\n\n<p>I know ten.</p>\n\n<p>Ten are the commandments; nine are the month of pregnancy; eight are the days until circumcision; Seven are the days of the week; six are the sections of the Mishnah; five are the books of the Torah; four are the matriarchs; three are the patriarchs; two are the tablets of the covenant; one is our God in heaven and on earth.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Who knows eleven?</p>\n\n<p>I know eleven.</p>\n\n<p>Eleven are the stars in Joseph’s dream; ten are the commandments; nine are the month of pregnancy; eight are the days until circumcision; Seven are the days of the week; six are the sections of the Mishnah; five are the books of the Torah; four are the matriarchs; three are the patriarchs; two are the tablets of the covenant; one is our God in heaven and on earth.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Who knows twelve?</p>\n\n<p>I know twelve.</p>\n\n<p>Twelve are the tribes of Isreal; eleven are the stars in Joseph’s dream; ten are the commandments; nine are the month of pregnancy; eight are the days until circumcision; Seven are the days of the week; six are the sections of the Mishnah; five are the books of the Torah; four are the matriarchs; three are the patriarchs; two are the tablets of the covenant; one is our God in heaven and on earth.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Who knows thirteen?</p>\n\n<p>I know thirteen.</p>\n\n<p>Thirteen are the attributes of God; twelve are the tribes of Israel; eleven are the stars in Joseph’s dream; ten are the commandments; nine are the month of pregnancy; eight are the days until circumcision; Seven are the days of the week; six are the sections of the Mishnah; five are the books of the Torah; four are the matriarchs; three are the patriarchs; two are the tablets of the covenant; one is our God in heaven and on earth.</p>\n\n\n",
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"body": "<p><strong>An Alternate Version of Who Knows One</strong></p>\n\n<p>Source: <em>For This We Left Egypt?</em></p>\n\n\n\n<p>Who knows one?</p>\n\n<p>I know one. One is our God who is heaven and on earth</p>\n\n<p>Or rather on earth, since that is the proper preposition</p>\n\n<p>To modify earth</p>\n\n<p>Though these rules are rather subjective</p>\n\n<p>And only God knows why you are on Manhattan or in Brooklyn</p>\n\n<p>Especially with the rents these days</p>\n\n<p>You might as well move to Queens</p>\n\n<p>Am I right?</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Who knows two?</p>\n\n<p>Two is the number of fingers in the peace sign</p>\n\n<p>Which we display in photos</p>\n\n<p>To remind us of the fallacy of wr</p>\n\n<p>Or to make air quotes</p>\n\n<p>If we are douche bags</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Who knows three?</p>\n\n<p>Three is the holy trinity</p>\n\n<p>Of delicatessen fish options</p>\n\n<p>Whitefish, lox and sable</p>\n\n<p>Although an argument for kippers</p>\n\n<p>Could also be made</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Who knows 3.28?</p>\n\n<p>3.28 is Wade Boggs’ lifetime batting average</p>\n\n<p>I have no idea why I know that</p>\n\n<p>But I will take it to my grave</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Who knows four?</p>\n\n<p>Four are the acceptable types of bagels:</p>\n\n<p>Sesame, poppy, onion, and everything</p>\n\n<p>Get out of here with your blueberry bagel</p>\n\n<p>Your asiago cheese bagel</p>\n\n<p>Your Saint-John’s-wort bagel</p>\n\n<p>And all the rest of these</p>\n\n<p>Fugazy bagels</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Who knows five?</p>\n\n<p>I know five</p>\n\n<p>Five are the books of the Torah</p>\n\n<p>And the boroughs of New York City</p>\n\n<p>But none among us</p>\n\n<p>Has the wisdom to say</p>\n\n<p>Which book is Staten Island</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Who knows six? I know six</p>\n\n<p>Six are the books of Mishnah</p>\n\n<p>Which is the most Jewish book ever</p>\n\n<p>Even more Jewish than Portnoy’s Complaint</p>\n\n<p>Because it is basically one long argument</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Who knows seven?</p>\n\n<p>Seven are the days of the week</p>\n\n<p>For it was Adonai our God who gave us</p>\n\n<p>The weekend to chill and created</p>\n\n<p>Labor unions to enforce it</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Who knows eight? I know eight</p>\n\n<p>Eight is the punch line to that counting joke</p>\n\n<p>That doesn’t really make any sense because</p>\n\n<p>Who sevens a tree? What does that even mean?</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Who knows nine? I know nine</p>\n\n<p>Nine are the months of pregnancy</p>\n\n<p>Which is how we make more Jews</p>\n\n<p>Because going door to door is for schmucks</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Who knows ten?</p>\n\n<p>Ten are the commandments</p>\n\n<p>Which Adonai our God gave Moses</p>\n\n<p>At the rate of one commandment every days</p>\n\n<p>Because chiseling stone is difficult</p>\n\n<p>And presumably they also took breaks</p>\n\n<p>To just hang out</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Who knows eleven?</p>\n\n<p>I know eleven</p>\n\n<p>But I’ll be damned</p>\n\n<p>If I tell you</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Who knows twelve? I know twelve</p>\n\n<p>Twelve are the tribes of Israel</p>\n\n<p>Whom we honor by being</p>\n\n<p>Unable to name more than like two</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Who knows thirteen? I know thirteen</p>\n\n<p>Thirteen is bar or bat mitzvah</p>\n\n<p>When a Jewish child becomes an adult</p>\n\n<p>Which maybe made sense when</p>\n\n<p>The average lifespan was twenty-nine, but</p>\n\n<p>Seriously, have you spoken</p>\n\n<p>To a thirteen-year-old lately?</p>\n\n<p><br />\n<br />\n<br />\n<br />\n<br />\n<br />\n<br />\n </p>\n",
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PART TWO – THE LOGISTICS
Haggadah Section: Introduction
PART TWO – THE LOGISTICS
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