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"body": "<p>Thankfulness is the beginning of gratitude. Gratitude is the completion of thankfulness. Thankfulness may consist merely of words. Gratitude is shown in acts.</p>\n\n<p>Henri Frederic Amiel</p>\n\n<p>Let us all know sing a song of gratitude: Behold, how good and how pleasant it is when brothers sit together in perfect harmony.</p>\n\n<p> <em>Hinei ma tov umanayim shevet ahim gam yahad.</em> </p>\n",
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"body": "<p>When a person doesn't have gratitude, something is missing in his or her humanity. A person can almost be defined by his or her attitude toward gratitude.</p>\n\n<p>Elie Wiesel</p>\n\n<p>In Judaism, gratitude is an essential part of the act of worship and a part of every aspect of a worshiper’s life. According to the Hebrew worldview, all things come from God and because of this, gratitude is extremely important to the followers of Judaism. The Hebrew Scriptures are filled with the idea of gratitude. Two examples included in the psalms are \"O Lord my God, I will give thanks to you forever,\" and \"I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart\" (Ps. 30:12; Ps. 9:1). The Jewish prayers also often incorporate gratitude beginning with the Shema, where the worshiper states that out of gratitude, \"You shall love the Eternal, your God, with all your heart, with all your soul, and with all your might\" (Deut. 6:5). One of the crucial blessings in the central thrice-daily prayer, the \"Amidah\", is called \"Modim\" - \"We give thanks to You\"; this is also the only blessing which is recited by the congregation together with the leader during their repetition of the Amidah. The concluding prayer, the Aleinu, also speaks of gratitude by thanking God for the particular destiny of the Jewish people. Along with these prayers, faithful worshipers recite more than one hundred blessings called berachot throughout the day.<a href=\"https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gratitude#cite_note-ReferenceB-1\">[1]</a> In Judaism there is also a major emphasis on gratitude for acts of human kindness and goodness.</p>\n",
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"body": "\n\n<p> <em>“Gratitude is the moral memory of mankind. If every grateful action were suddenly eliminated, society would crumble.” </em> <em>– Georg Simmel</em> </p>\n\n<p>Gratitude and happiness are intertwined and for good reason. It is no coincidence that positive psychology practitioners and happiness experts state that in order to increase your contentment in life you need to boost your level of gratitude.</p>\n\n<p>One of the leading researchers in gratitude is Dr. Robert Emmons. He has brought gratitude into the forefront by demonstrating how simple acts of gratitude can have a gigantic impact on well-being and happiness. Emmons argues that gratitude is more than feeling good.</p>\n\n<p> <em>“It goes beyond the pleasant feeling because it implores people to share their joyful experiences with others. So in this sense gratitude is not about receiving<strong>,</strong> but it entails a large component of giving as well” (2007).</em> </p>\n\n<p>Emmons and other positive psychology practitioners such as Martin Seligman believe the positive effects of gratitude can’t be overstated.</p>\n\n<p> <em>“Gratitude can make your life happier and more satisfying. When we feel gratitude, we benefit from the pleasant memory of a positive event in our life. Also, when we express our gratitude to others, we strengthen our relationship with them” (Seligman, 2012).</em> </p>\n\n<p>You can never be too grateful. When you take for granted the people and things you have in your life, instead of being grateful for them, you are missing out on an opportunity to live a healthier and happier life.</p>\n\n<p>You are also ignoring the strength of social connection that gratitude creates. Not only will practicing gratitude benefit you psychologically and socially, but physically you will feel better as well.</p>\n\n<p>Like anything else in life the benefits of gratitude can be cultivated through concentrated practice. There are a multitude of exercises at your disposal that will sustain your desire to manifest more gratitude into your life. And therefore, more well-being and contentment.</p>",
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"body": "<p><u>What does the wise child say?</u></p>\n\n<p>The wise child will notice parents’ expressions of gratitude and make good habits their own. You must guide this child in helping them and encouraging them to volunteer, to be optimistic, to understand other people, to be a true friend, to notice good things, look for them, and appreciate them. You must encourage this child to savor, absorb, and really pay attention to those good things. You should express your appreciation to that child when that child expresses appreciation by thanking somebody.</p>\n\n<p><u>What does the wicked child say?</u></p>\n\n<p>The opposite of gratitude is entitlement, which brings negative feelings like disappointment and frustration. But when we feel grateful, our world fills with positive emotions like love, compassion, enthusiasm, and confidence—and our satisfaction with life soars. What we’ve learned from the gratitude interventions that don’t work is that one size definitely doesn’t fit all. Just like we can’t tell a baby to laugh at dinnertime simply because it will feel good, we can’t just tell our teenagers to feel grateful so that they can reap the benefits.</p>\n\n<p>So how can we help an entitled adolescent become happier through gratitude?</p>\n\n<p>The first thing to remember is that teenagers’ unique developmental task is to individuate: to break away from you, the parent who is looking for a little appreciation.</p>\n\n<p>Every time teens take your advice—about how to be happier, or by following your instructions for practicing gratitude—they are setting themselves up to remain dependent on you and your great wisdom. But their main goal as teens is to get you to recognize their wisdom, their independence. Herein lies the problem.</p>\n\n<p>Gratitude makes most of us happier because it is such a social emotion; it cultivates our sense that we are connected to each other. And social connections—ties to friends and family and neighbors—are the very stuff of happiness. But if you are a teenager trying to prove your independence, gratitude can make you feel more beholden to your parents or teachers. Which doesn’t feel good.</p>\n\n<p><strong>This doesn’t mean that we should give up</strong> on teaching our teens to feel and express more gratitude in their lives. Here are some suggestions for practicing gratitude with teenagers:</p>\n\n<p>(1) Go at it indirectly, by fostering altruism rather than gratitude. Helping others evokes feelings of gratitude, compassion, and confidence in people of any age.</p>\n\n<p>(2) Let teens lead. One size doesn’t fit all when it comes to practicing gratitude—and a gratitude practice is going to be a lot less effective if it is seen as a chore or an assignment. So tell teens you want them to design a gratitude practice for your whole family this year. “You are old enough: You design a new tradition for us!” And by all means, let them take the credit, even if they come up with something you suggested weeks ago.</p>\n\n<p>(3) Allow snarkiness, teasing, and humor in your expressions of gratitude. My dad used to ask us for reasons we were grateful for the people we were complaining about, and this lead to a lot of sarcastic comments like, “Well, I’m grateful I don’t have any classes with her.” Sometimes teen gratitude is, well, a little minimalist.</p>\n\n<p>(4) Use gratitude to cultivate the growth mindset in difficult times. What did you learn from that terrible experience? What good came out of it, despite the difficulty? The aim is to get to something along the lines of, “Thank goodness that X happened, because otherwise I wouldn’t have had Y opportunity!”</p>\n\n<p>(5) Be persistent. When teens feel authentic gratitude, it is a positive emotion for them just like for everyone else. When they create a gratitude practice that works for them, feelings of gratitude will become habitual, hopefully built into their daily lives. Even if they resist heartily at first—remember, that is their job as adolescents—I have heard many, many stories of gratitude resistors who blossom into appreciative young adults.</p>\n\n<p>As Mike Riera artfully describes in his book <em>Staying Connected to Your Teenager</em>, kids need to struggle with and for their autonomy, and this will sometimes mean struggling with feelings of entitlement and dependence. Our job as a parent is to help our teens become experts on themselves—including what they feel grateful for—and to help them discover what they want for themselves.</p>\n\n<p><u>What does the simple child say? What about the child who doesn’t know how to ask a question?</u></p>\n\n<p>Help these children. An attitude of gratitude helps us thrive. Try these steps to instill a mind-set of gratitude in your little ones.</p>\n\n<ol>\n\t<li>Say \"Thank you.\" When \"thank yous\" are instilled in our vocabulary at home, a lifelong practice begins, even if it doesn't stick at first. You can gently restate a sentence with polite language inserted, or suggest saying \"Thank you\" together.</li>\n\t<li>Live it. Set an example and show appreciation by conveying you paid attention to real effort: \"Your room looks so nice with the toys in their bins. I'm so happy that you remembered to put them away!\"</li>\n\t<li>Teach through role play. If your little one is too shy to say \"thank you\" in a social setting, they can pretend to teach their stuffed animals or dolls to do so, while you play along.</li>\n\t<li>Create daily or weekly routines. A regular question, \"What are you most thankful for today?\" can serve as a comforting routine at bedtime or a highlight of a weekly dinner ritual.</li>\n\t<li>Give concrete examples. At dinner, you can play the Rose and Thorn game, where the person whose turn it is to speak holds a rose and tells about one rose (a good thing) and one thorn (a challenging thing). A metaphor like the rose helps children develop gratitude even when things aren't going their way. Keeping the rose in a vase all week serves as another reminder of coping with natural ups and downs. Books like The Giving Tree, Have You Filled a Bucket Today? and Mama Panya's Pancakes offer simple, powerful metaphors of virtues.</li>\n\t<li>Set expectations when shopping. Melanie Etemad of Bryn Mawr, PA shared a useful approach that her husband, a psychiatrist, came up with when their daughter Elyse was just two: \"We’d say today is a 'look' day. Just like going to the museum, we enjoy the beautiful things, but we aren't planning to buy anything. ... We also tried to ensure that there were more 'look' days than 'buy' days, specifically to inoculate against the idea of always buying things, knowing that it breeds discontent. Now, at age six, Elyse knows that most of the time when we go out, we are not necessarily planning to buy anything and has the habit to ask if today is a 'look' day or a 'buy' day.\"</li>\n\t<li>Make giving and volunteering a habit. Set aside toys and clothing in good condition. Deliver the items to a deserving cause together. Talk about the process and why you care. Tap into organizations like Global Giving that offer a virtual marketplace for making a difference.</li>\n\t<li>Create gratitude gift lists. Alongside a holiday or birthday gift wish list, for every item, family members can list something they are grateful for. These are the \"priceless\" gifts. By generating the list in a beautiful way, you demonstrate how valuable the alternate list is; it can be a keepsake for years to come.</li>\n\t<li>Thank those who serve. Your example of acknowledging those who quietly make a difference in your life, from the bus driver to the person sweeping up the aftermath of a family lunch out, sends a powerful message to your children. Likewise, organizations like Operation Gratitude and Blue Star Families remember those serving in the military. Kathy Roth-Douquet, Founder and Chair of Blue Star Families, says, \"In addition to a thank-you letter, we ask the participant to pledge to do some form of community service ... thanks and appreciation is best when it involves action, and a sense of all being in a worthwhile effort together.\"</li>\n\t<li>Be patient. Kids can't be cajoled into showing appreciation, but your gentle efforts and examples will instill gratitude as a way of life.</li>\n</ol>\n",
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"body": "<p></p><p>Just about everybody experiences the sense of being foreign sometime in their lives. Most of the adults at this table have immigrated from a foreign country. But even if you have lived in the same city your entire life, as an adult you no longer live in the same neighborhood you lived in when you were growing up. Your home is defined not only by place but also by time. People have changed; circumstances have changed. As a foreigner in that sense, you try to find a shared past with people. You may get excited to find that somebody you encounter grew up in the same city that you did, whereas, if you lived in the city where you grew up, you would probably not even stop to talk to that same person.</p>\n\n<p>As a Jew, you have a built in sense of shared identity with other Jews. How does the fact that you are Jewish affect your self-identity in situations where you are a stranger? How important is being Jewish to you? What would the world be missing if there were no Jews any more? Tonight let's consider these questions and discuss our answers.</p>\n",
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"body": "<p>For centuries Jewish identity was synonymous with the Jewish religion. This began to change starting in the mid-17th century as movements for political rights and equality moved across Europe. Jews had more opportunities to interact with other cultures and communities, and as a result, ideas about religion and identity changed. As Jonathan Sarna writes, what made modern democratic society unique is voluntaryism, “the principle that individuals are free to choose their religious beliefs and associations without political, ecclesiastical or communal coercion.”</p>\n\n<p>Without the community telling Jews how to express their Judaism and with exposure to secular culture new forms of Jewish identity came about. These included a strictly cultural Jewish identity that removed religion from the equation and instead focused on the liberal and fine arts.</p>\n\n<p>Today, many Jews around the world identify with Judaism solely through cultural means. Jewish educators and community leaders have found ways to communicate values, set agendas, and organize constituencies through cultural mechanisms, thus infusing the cultural Jewish community with a strong self-identity separate from the traditional Jewish theology.</p>\n\n<p>Investing in Judaism’s rich cultural heritage doesn’t always mean a total divorce from religion. Many Jews are customizing their investment in Judaism, coming up with communities and organizations for everything from Jewish vegans, to Jewish pacifists, to Jewish parents with autistic children.</p>\n\n<p>Even the appearance of Jews has changed, as multiracial families become a larger segment of the Jewish community, integrating Korean, Chinese, Ethiopian and many other backgrounds into the Jewish mix.</p>\n\n<p>Life context has become a major factor in how people choose their communities and affiliations. Some single people may join communities in order to find partners. Young parents may decide they want to send their children to Jewish schools, and seniors may join synagogues or Jewish community centers in order to attend classes and activities with other retirees.</p>\n\n<p>Israel and Zionism have added another spoke to the wheel of Jewish identity, with many Jews associating mainly or partially with Israel. Visiting Israel can elicit strong feelings of loyalty and obligation to the land of the Bible. Many Jews around the world see Israel as the ultimate guarantor of the Jewish people’s survival, and are driven by a deep commitment to the idea of Israel.</p>\n\n<p>How do you define your Jewish identity? What do you accept of the traditional Jewish identity? What do you reject? How do you see yourself in terms of the five sons? How about your children? Your grandchildren? What is the value of diversity in Jewish practices and what is lost? What will Judaism look like in 3 or 4 generations? Will Judaism exist in 3 or 4 generations? Why, or why not?</p>\n",
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"body": "<p>This is the time set aside for singing. Some of us might sing traditional prayers from the Book of Psalms. Others take this moment for favorites we get to sing only once a year. We're at least three glasses of wine into it so you get extra points for singing loud and enthusiastically. Please roll with it!</p>\n\n<p>In Loving Memory to our Uncle Heinz Grunewald, who always tried singing this song (but nobody knew it), we will pretend to start Kee Lo Naeh -- It is Proper to Praise Him, by siniging the refrain once. Page 153.</p>\n\n<p>In Loving Memory to our Grandfather and Great Grandfather, Ernst Wellisch, who died much too young, but who nevertheless managed to teach us among other things, how to be supremely irreverent to the notion of unnecessary law and order, in the manner in which he sang this song: The Jewish Trivia Song -- Echad Mi Yodeia-a -- Who Knows One? Page 155</p>\n\n<p>The Thirteen Attributes of God in Alphabetical Order -- Adeer Hu, Mighty is God. Page 154</p>\n\n<p>The Jewish \"Old McDonald Had a Farm\" -- Chad Gad-ya, Just One Kid. Page 160</p>\n",
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"body": "<p>AS WE BEGIN TONIGHT’S SEDER, let’s take a moment to be thankful for being together. We make a small community of storytellers. But, why this story again? Most of us already know the story of Passover. The answer is that we are not merely telling, or in tonight’s case, singing a story. We are being called to the act of empathy. Not only to hear the story of the Exodus but to feel as if we too were being set free. Most if not all of us at our table observe this holiday every year Passover is the most widely celebrated Jewish Holiday and is enjoyed by people of various faiths. Freedom is at the core of each of our stories. All who are in need, let them come celebrate Passover with us. Now we are here. Next year in the land of Israel.</p>\n\n<p>Before we go on I'd like to note how good and pleasant it is when brothers sit together in perfect harmony. I cannot begin to tell you how glad I am to have all of you here. And so, we all say in Hebrew...</p>\n",
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"body": "<p style=\"text-align:center;\"><span><span><span>Prayer for a Pandemic</span></span></span></p>\n\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\"><span><span> </span></span></p>\n\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\"><span><span><span>(We gratefully acknowledge this contribution from Claudia Schaefer)</span></span></span></p>\n\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\"><span><span><span><span><span>May we who must inconveniently shelter in place</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\"><span><span><span><span><span>Remember those who have neither shelter not place </span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\"><span><span><span><span><span>May we who are forced to keep a social distance for weeks</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\"><span><span><span><span><span>Remember those whose distance from fresh produce or decent health care is a daily reality</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\"><span><span><span><span><span>May we who have the luxury of working from home</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\"><span><span><span><span><span>Remember those who must choose between medicine and rent.</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><b><span><span>Reader:</span></span></b></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\"><span><span><span><span><span>May we who have to cancel pleasure travel </span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\"><span><span><span><span><span>Remember those who have no safe place to go.</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\"><span><span><span><span><span>May we who are losing our margin money in the tumult of the economic market</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\"><span><span><span><span><span>Remember those who have no margin at all.</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\"><span><span><span><span><span>As fear grips our country</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\"><span><span><span><span><span>Let us choose love.</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\"><span><span><span><span><span>During this time when we cannot physically wrap our arms around each other</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p style=\"text-align:center;\"><span><span><span><span><span>Let us find ways to be the loving embrace to our neighbors.</span></span></span></span></span></p>",
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Gratitude Leads to Happiness
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