{ "clip_details": { "clip": { "is_admin": 0, "is_owner": 0, "handle": "fun-passover-jokes", "title": "Fun Passover Jokes", "author": "Meira Goldfischer", "author_handle": "meira-goldfischer", "author_initials": "MG", "covertext": "Hear about the internet search engine for Passover? It’s called eliYAHOO How do you drive your mother completely insane...", "user_image": "", "user_image_original": "", "body": "<p><span><span><span><span>Hear about the internet search engine for Passover?</span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>It’s called eliYAHOO</span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<div>\n<hr /></div>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>How do you drive your mother completely insane on Passover?</span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>It’s really a piece of cake</span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<div>\n<hr /></div>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>What’s your favorite Passover film?</span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>Shawshankbone Redemption</span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<div>\n<hr /></div>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>Why did the matzah quit his job?</span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>Because he didn’t get a raise</span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<div>\n<hr /></div>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>What army base is off limits on Passover?</span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>Fort Leavenworth</span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<div>\n<hr /></div>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>A British Jew is waiting in line to be knighted by the Queen. He is to kneel in front of her and recite a sentence in Latin when she taps him on the shoulders with her sword. However, when his turn comes, he panics in the excitement of the moment and forgets the Latin. Then, thinking fast, he recites the only other sentence he knows in a foreign language, which he remembers from the Passover Seder:</span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>\"Ma nishtana ha layla ha zeh mi kol ha laylot.\"</span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>Puzzled, Her Majesty turns to her advisor and whispers, \"Why is this knight different from all other knights?\"</span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<div>\n<hr /></div>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>A little boy once returned home from Hebrew school and his father asked, \"What did you learn today?\"</span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>He answered, \"The Rabbi told us how Moses led the children of Israel out of Egypt.\"</span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>\"How?\"</span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>The boy said \"Moses was a big strong man and he beat Pharaoh up. Then while he was down, he got all the people together and ran towards the sea. When he got there, he has the Corps of Engineers build a huge pontoon bridge. Once they got on the other side, they blew up the bridge while the Egyptians were trying to cross.\"</span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>The father was shocked. \"Is that what the Rabbi taught you?\"</span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>The boy replied, \"No. But you'd never believe the story he DID tell us!\"</span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<div>\n<hr /></div>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>Why do we have a Haggadah at Passover?</span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>So we can Seder right words.</span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<div>\n<hr /></div>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>Did you hear about the gefilte fish that went deaf?</span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>He had to buy a herring-aid.</span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<div>\n<hr /></div>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>How does Moses make beer?</span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>Hebrews it!</span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<div>\n<hr /></div>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>When it comes to Karpas, who is the king of Passover?</span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>Elvis Parsley</span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<div>\n<hr /></div>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>How does NASA organize their Passover Seders in space? They planet</span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<div>\n<hr /></div>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>What did one Seder plate say to the other? “Dinner is on me!”</span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<div>\n<hr /></div>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>What kind of shoes did the Egyptians wear during the plague of Frogs? Open-toad!</span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<div>\n<hr /></div>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>Who is behind Pharaoh’s Evil Empire? Darth Seder</span></span></span></span></p>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n", "cliptype": "text", "clipsource": null, "featured": 0, "featuredIn": null, "is_public": 1, "is_published": 1, "media": { "image": null, "audio": null, "video": null }, "thumbnail": null, "clip_section": [ { "haggadah_section": "Commentary / Readings", "slug": "commentary-readings" } ], "likes": 0, "downloads": 82, "tags": [], "themes": [], "language": "0", "is_bookmarked": "0", "is_liked": 0, "meta_tags": { "title": "Fun Passover Jokes | Passover haggadah by Meira Goldfischer", "description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. 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Find artwork, family", "keywords": "", "og:type": "article", "og:url": "https://www.haggadot.com/clip/fun-seder-songs", "og:title": "Fun Seder Songs | Passover haggadah by Meira Goldfischer", "og:description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. Find artwork, family", "og:image": "" } } }, { "clip": { "is_admin": 0, "is_owner": 0, "handle": "songs-141", "title": "Songs", "author": "Meira Goldfischer", "author_handle": "meira-goldfischer", "author_initials": "MG", "covertext": "", "user_image": "", "user_image_original": "", "body": "", "cliptype": "text", "clipsource": null, "featured": 0, "featuredIn": null, "is_public": 1, "is_published": 1, "media": { "image": null, "audio": null, "video": null }, "thumbnail": null, "clip_section": [ { "haggadah_section": "Songs", "slug": "songs" } ], "likes": 0, "downloads": 88, "tags": [], "themes": [], "language": "0", "is_bookmarked": "0", "is_liked": 0, "meta_tags": { "title": "Songs | Passover haggadah by Meira Goldfischer", "description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. Find artwork, family", "keywords": "", "og:type": "article", "og:url": "https://www.haggadot.com/clip/songs-141", "og:title": "Songs | Passover haggadah by Meira Goldfischer", "og:description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. Find artwork, family", "og:image": "" } } }, { "clip": { "is_admin": 0, "is_owner": 0, "handle": "passover-songs-the-parody-edition", "title": "Passover Songs: The Parody Edition", "author": "Meira Goldfischer", "author_handle": "meira-goldfischer", "author_initials": "MG", "covertext": "1. Take Us Out of Egypt (By Ron Wolfson, “Take me out to the ball game\") Take us out of Egypt Free us from slavery Bake...", "user_image": "", "user_image_original": "", "body": "<p><span><span><strong>1. Take Us Out of Egypt (<i>By Ron Wolfson, “Take me out to the ball game\") </i></strong></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>Take us out of Egypt Free us from slavery</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>Bake us some matzah in a haste Don't worry 'bout flavor--</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>Give no thought to taste.</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>Oh it's rush, rush, rush, to the Red Sea If we don't cross it's a shame</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>For it's ten plagues, Down and you're out</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>At the Pesach history game.</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><strong>2. Les Miselijah <i>(By Stuart Malina, \"Do you hear the people Sing\" from “Les Miserables”) </i></strong></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>Do you hear the doorbell ring, And it's a little after ten?</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>It can only be Elijah Come to take a sip again. He is feeling pretty fine</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>We don’t want him to feel loose. So perhaps instead of wine</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>We should only give him juice.</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><strong>3. Elijah (<i>By Rabbi Dan Liben, \"Maria\") </i></strong></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>Elijah!</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>I just saw the prophet Elijah. And suddenly that name</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>Will never sound the same to me. Elijah!</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>He came to our Seder Elijah!</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>He had his cup of wine, But could not stay to dine This year--</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>Elijah!</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>For your message all Jews are waiting:</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>That the time's come for peace and not hating--</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>Elijah--</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>Next year we'll be waiting. Elijah!</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><strong>4. Just a Tad of haroset <i>(By Debbie and Sharon Bohnen, \"Just a spoon full of sugar\") </i></strong></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><i>Chorus</i>:</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>Just a tad of haroset helps the bitter herbs go down, </span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>The bitter herbs go down, the bitter herbs go down.</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>Just a tad of haroset helps the bitter herbs go down, In the most disguising way.</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>Oh, back in Egypt long ago,</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>The Jews were slaves under Pharaoh. They sweat and toiled and labored through the day.</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>So when we gather Pesach night, We do what we think right.</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>Maror, we chew,</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>To feel what they went through. Chorus</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>So after years of slavery</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>They saw no chance of being free.</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>Their suffering was the only life they knew. But baby Moses grew up tall,</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>And said he'd save them all. He did, and yet,</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>We swear we won't forget. That</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><i>Chorus cont....</i></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>While the maror is being passed, We each refill our water glass,</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>Preparing for the taste that turns us red. Although maror seems full of minuses, It sure does clear our sinuses.</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>But what's to do?</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>It's hard to be a Jew!!! </span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><i>Chorus</i></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><strong>5. Pharaoh Doesn’t Pay (<i>By Mary Ann Barrows Wark, “I’ve Been Working on the Railroad”) </i></strong></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>I’ve been working on these buildings; Pharaoh doesn’t pay.</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>I’ve been doing what he tells me Like making bricks from clay.</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>Can’t you hear the master calling, “Hurry up, make a brick!”</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>Can’t you feel the master hurt me Until I’m feeling sick.</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>Oh is this a mess, Oh is this a mess,</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>Oh is this a mess, for Jews, for Jews. Oh is this a mess,</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>Oh is this a mess,</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>Oh is this a mess for Jews.</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>Someone’s in the palace with Pharaoh – Someone’s in the palace we know, ow, ow, ow, Someone’s in the palace with Pharaoh –</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>Does he know they treat us so?</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>Keep singing work, work, work all day, Work all day and then some mo –ore, Work, work, work all day –</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>Does he know they treat us so?</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><strong>6. Our Passover Things <i>(By \"My Favorite Things\" from the \"Sound of Music\" ) </i></strong></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>Cleaning and cooking and so many dishes </span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>Out with the chametz, no pasta, no knishes </span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>Fish that's gefilted, horseradish that stings </span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>These are a few of our Passover things.</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>Matzah and karpas and chopped up haroset </span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>Shankbones and kiddish and yiddish neuroses </span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>Tante who kvetches and uncle who sings </span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span>These are a few of our Passover things</span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>Motzi and moror and trouble with Pharaohs </span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>Famines and locusts and slaves with wheelbarrows </span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>Matzah balls floating and eggshell that clings </span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>These are a few of our Passover things. </span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><i><span>Chorus</span></i></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>When the plagues strike </span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>When the lice bite </span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span>When we're feeling sad </span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>We simply remember our Passover things </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>And then we don't feel so bad.</span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><b><span>7. We’ll Cross the Sea (<i>to the tune of “Under the Sea</i>”)</span></b></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>You think that we all are stuck here </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>You think that we have no choice </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>We work in the sand and muck here </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>But what if we raise our voice? </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Just trust that our God will save us And we can run far away </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Where nobody will enslave us So come with me, don’t delay!</span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><i><span>Chorus</span></i></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>We’ll cross the sea </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>We’ll cross the sea </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Life will be better </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>They will get wetter </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Than you and me </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Back on this side we’ll slave away </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>But over there we all can play</span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span> So if you dare-o </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Run from this pharaoh </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>We’ll cross the sea</span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><b><span>8. Into the Sea ( <em>To the tune of “Into the Woods”</em> )</span></b></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Into the sea, where Adonai Has promised that the land is dry. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Moses is here and he’s the guy, To guide us on our journey. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Into the sea— We can’t deny, The trip we take can terrify. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Will we be free or will we die, Before we start our journey?</span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>The way is clear. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>We have our guide. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>So have no fear, God will provide. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>The sand is up ahead. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>The soldiers are behind. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>I really hate to ask it, But will I need a casket?</span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Into the sea— We have no bread. The time was tight, and so we fled. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Moses has said we’ll all be fed, As we head on our journey. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Into the sea—  We don’t know how, But we agree the time is now. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Later we’ll build a golden cow, To guide us on our journey.</span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Into the sea!  And out of the sea! Into the sea!  And out of the sea! And home before dark!</span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><b><span>9. When You Are Free (<i>to the tune of “When You’re a Jet” from West Side Story</i>)</span></b></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>When you are free, You’ll be free all the way. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Let the pharaoh decree! You won’t have to obey. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>When you are free, You won’t suffer the lash. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>When you do a day’s work, You will get a day’s cash.</span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span> Imagine your life as something you can sweeten . . . </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Imagine a life in which you’re never beaten By some cretin! </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>When you are free, You will not be a slave </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Wishing that you could be Independent and brave. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>When you are free, You won’t cower in fear.</span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>You’ll be free to fly high Or fall flat on your rear. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Now listen to me, and hear what I am saying . . . </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>When you are free, your people will be playing, Not oy vaying! </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>When you are free, You can summon the nerve </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>To say, “Hey, look at me! Give me what I deserve.” </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>When you are free, You will be free!</span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><b><span>10. Goodbye, Goodbye, Mitzrayim! (<i>to the tune of “To Life!” from Fiddler on the Roof</i>)</span></b></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Goodbye, goodbye, Mitzrayim! </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Mitzrayim, Mitzrayim, goodbye! </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>We’re sick of building the pyramids, </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Losing our first born kids. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>So Mitzrayim, goodbye! </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>To us and our good fortune! </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>To Moses and to Adonai! </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Say adios to the overseer. We’re getting out of here. So Mitzrayim, goodbye!</span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>God told Moses, “There’s a simple message That the Pharaoh really needs to know. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Take your rod and take your brother Aaron. Tell the Pharaoh, ‘Let my people go”.</span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>To us and our good fortune! </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>To Moses and to Adonai! </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Say adios to the overseer. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>We’re getting out of here. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>So Mitzrayim, goodbye!</span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><b><span>11. Master of the Jews (to the tune of “Master of the House” from Les Miserables) </span></b></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><i><span>(sung by the Hebrews)</span></i></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Master of the Jews, giving us a push.</span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span> Sure that God is hiding in a burning bush. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Here another frog, there a little lice. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Thinking Pharaoh’s gonna follow his advice. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>If we do as Moses tells us, all of us will surely lose.</span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span> Heading to disaster following the Master of the Jews.</span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Water from a stone, manna from the sky. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Everything he promises is just a lie. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>We will all be lost. It will be a mess </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Wandering the desert without G.P.S. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Can’t you see the front page headlines? </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>We’ll be on the late night news. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Meeting with disaster following the Master of the Jews.</span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><i><span>(sung by the Pharaoh’s daughter) </span></i></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>I used to dream that I would raise a prince, </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>But gods almighty, have you seen what happened since?</span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Master of the Jews — just a rotten kid!</span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span> Can’t he see we need another pyramid? </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Foolish little man, doesn’t Moses know </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Pharaoh’s never gonna let the Hebrews go. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>What a cruel trick of nature!  This is not the son I’d choose. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Once a Hebrew bastard, now he is the Master of the Jews.</span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><i><span>(sung by the Hebrews) </span></i></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Master of the Jews — isn’t that a laugh? </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>We’d be better worshiping a golden calf. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Telling us to pack, telling us to flee, </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Promising that God will end our slavery. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Holding out the hope of freedom, saying that it’s ours to choose. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Heading to disaster quick — Hey, don’t the Pharaoh’s cows look sick? </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Heading to disaster following the Master of the Jews.</span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><b><span>12. Ruler of the Universe (<i>to the tune of “Phantom of the Opera”</i>)</span></b></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>You saw a desert bush burst into flame. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>You heard my booming voice call out your name. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Don’t try to run away.  You’ll only find </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>The Ru--ler of the Universe is there inside your mind! </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Now, Moses, you must march to Pharaoh’s throne. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>No need to be afraid.  You’re not alone. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>My power and your voice are one combined. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>The Ru-ler of the Universe is there inside your mind!</span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><b><span>13. Sweet Kosher Wine (<i>to the tune of “Sweet Caroline</i>”) </span></b></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Adonai said, “I never will forget you. I will make Pharaoh set you free.” </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Now here we are, drinking the wine we savor </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>As we recall our slavery. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>(Chorus) </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Hands…pouring wine, </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Reaching out, red for me, white for you.</span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span> Sweet kosher wine, </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>You make seders seem so good  (so good, so good, so good) </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>We all recline </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>And we drink you like we should. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Adonai said, “If you can learn to trust me </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Then in the end you’ll just be fine.” </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Now here we are, all of these long years later </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>Drinking our favorite seder wine. </span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span>(Repeat chorus)</span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><b><span><span>We Don't Talk About Pharaoh By Dave Cowen  <i>(Adapted from “We Don’t Talk About Bruno” from Encanto)</i></span></span></b></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>We don't talk about Pharaoh, no, no, no!</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>We don't talk about Pharaoh. But!</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>It was our Exodus day</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>It was our Exodus day</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>We were getting ready, to leave Egypt and slavery behind</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>Leave Egypt and slavery behind</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>Pharaoh walks in with a mischievous grin-</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>(Darkness!!!)</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>You telling this story, or am I?</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>(I'm sorry, <i>ha-chaim sheli</i>, go on)</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>Pharaoh says, \"You’ll stay our slaves.\"</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>(But God did for us?)</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>Egypt’s water, He turned to blood</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>(Savtala, get the umbrellas!)</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>Next the frogs, lice, and flies came</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>(What joyous days... but anyways)</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>We don't talk about Pharaoh, no, no, no!</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>We don't talk about Pharaoh!</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>Jews grew to live in fear of Pharaoh summoning then promising</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>We could always hear him sort of dissembling and fibbing</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>Because of him they got the plague of falling hail, ch-ch-ch</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>You would think pestilence would be so humbling</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>Yet always to Moses and the Jews he kept fibbing</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>Grappling with prophecies he couldn't understand</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>Did not understand</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>Kind of not to blame</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>He gets all the flack</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>When God proclaimed</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>Pharaoh’s heart be black</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>Yet, he still did scheme</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>To keep his regime</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>Hey!</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>We don't talk about Pharaoh, no, no, no! (We don't talk about Pharaoh, no, no, no!)</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>We don't talk about Pharaoh (we don't talk about Pharaoh!)</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>He told us we could not leave</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>Firstborn sons: dead! (Whoa, whoa!)</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>Moses warned he’d grow boils!</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>And just like He said... (Whoa, whoa!)</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>God said that all light would disappear, now look as foresaid (Whoa, whoa!)</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>Your fate’s sealed when the prophecy is said!</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>God told us the land of our dreams would be promised, and someday be thine</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>God told us His power would grow, with outstretched arm and strong hand</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>Oy, Pharaoh’s on his way</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>God told us as we left, freedom would feel just out of reach</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>Enslaved all over</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>It’s like I hear chariots now</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>My peeps, God wants some faith from you</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>I can hear chariots now</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>Uh-oh Pharaoh...</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>Yeah, about that Pharaoh...</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>You really need to trust in Hashem...</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>Gimme that arm and hand for that Pharaoh</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>(Jewish people, your ruler’s here</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>Time for capture!)</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>The Red Sea he came (it was our Exodus day, it was our Exodus day)</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>To enslave us back (we were getting ready)</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>he never did change (to leave Egypt and slavery behind)</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>his heart remained black (to leave Egypt and slavery behind!)</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>Yet, all God’s plan (Pharaoh arrived with a mischievous grin-)</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>To part the Red Sea (Locusts!)</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>You telling this story, or am I?</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>(I'm sorry, <i>ha-chaim sheli</i>, go on)</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>God said, “Jews cross the plane.”</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>In doing so, God floods the terrain</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>The Egyptians all were slain</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>That’s why we talk about Pharaoh, oh! </span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>(Every year we talk about Pharaoh?)</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>Yes, every year we talk about Pharaoh!</span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span>(I’m glad we brought up Pharaoh!!!)</span></span></span></span></span></p>", "cliptype": "text", "clipsource": null, "featured": 0, "featuredIn": null, "is_public": 1, "is_published": 1, "media": { "image": null, "audio": null, "video": null }, "thumbnail": null, "clip_section": [ { "haggadah_section": "Songs", "slug": "songs" } ], "likes": 0, "downloads": 95, "tags": [], "themes": [], "language": "0", "is_bookmarked": "0", "is_liked": 0, "meta_tags": { "title": "Passover Songs: The Parody Edition | Passover haggadah by Meira Goldfischer", "description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. Find artwork, family", "keywords": "", "og:type": "article", "og:url": "https://www.haggadot.com/clip/passover-songs-the-parody-edition", "og:title": "Passover Songs: The Parody Edition | Passover haggadah by Meira Goldfischer", "og:description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. Find artwork, family", "og:image": "" } } }, { "clip": { "is_admin": 0, "is_owner": 0, "handle": "the-lgbtq-seder-plate", "title": "The LGBTQ+ Seder Plate", "author": "Meira Goldfischer", "author_handle": "meira-goldfischer", "author_initials": "MG", "covertext": "The JQ LGBTQ+ seder plate includes some special symbolic items including: \tAn Orange - which carries the seeds of rebirt...", "user_image": "", "user_image_original": "", "body": "<p><span><span><span><span><span><span>The JQ LGBTQ+ seder plate includes some special symbolic items including:</span></span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<ul>\n\t<li><span><span><span><span><span><b><span><span>An Orange</span></span></b><span><span> - which carries the seeds of rebirth and represents the diversity of the Jewish community as we increase inclusion.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></li>\n\t<li><span><span><span><span><span><b><span><span>A Coconut - </span></span></b><span><span>for the LGBT still in the closet and their struggle in coming out</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></li>\n\t<li><span><span><span><span><span><b><span><span>Sour Vegetables - </span></span></b><span><span>for the flavor of hatred and bigotry</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></li>\n\t<li><span><span><span><span><span><b><span><span>Fruit Salad - </span></span></b><span><span>for our collective potential and recognition</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></li>\n\t<li><span><span><span><span><span><b><span><span>Flowers, Sticks and Stones - </span></span></b><span><span>for the path all of us as LGBT and Allies are on as we move through life and play our role in the development of our culture and commemoration of our history.</span></span></span></span></span></span></span></li>\n</ul>", "cliptype": "image", "clipsource": null, "featured": 0, "featuredIn": null, "is_public": 1, "is_published": 1, "media": { "image": "https://assets.haggadot.com/clips/364092/SEDERPLATE.png", "audio": null, "video": null }, "thumbnail": "https://assets.haggadot.com/clips/364092/conversions/SEDERPLATE-cover.jpg", "clip_section": [ { "haggadah_section": "Introduction", "slug": "introduction" } ], "likes": 0, "downloads": 75, "tags": [], "themes": [], "language": "0", "is_bookmarked": "0", "is_liked": 0, "meta_tags": { "title": "The LGBTQ+ Seder Plate | Passover haggadah by Meira Goldfischer", "description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. 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Find artwork, family", "og:image": "" } }