Hear about the internet search engine for Passover?

It’s called eliYAHOO

How do you drive your mother completely insane on Passover?

It’s really a piece of cake

What’s your favorite Passover film?

Shawshankbone Redemption

Why did the matzah quit his job?

Because he didn’t get a raise

What army base is off limits on Passover?

Fort Leavenworth

A British Jew is waiting in line to be knighted by the Queen. He is to kneel in front of her and recite a sentence in Latin when she taps him on the shoulders with her sword. However, when his turn comes, he panics in the excitement of the moment and forgets the Latin. Then, thinking fast, he recites the only other sentence he knows in a foreign language, which he remembers from the Passover Seder:

"Ma nishtana ha layla ha zeh mi kol ha laylot."

Puzzled, Her Majesty turns to her advisor and whispers, "Why is this knight different from all other knights?"

A little boy once returned home from Hebrew school and his father asked, "What did you learn today?"

He answered, "The Rabbi told us how Moses led the children of Israel out of Egypt."


The boy said "Moses was a big strong man and he beat Pharaoh up. Then while he was down, he got all the people together and ran towards the sea. When he got there, he has the Corps of Engineers build a huge pontoon bridge. Once they got on the other side, they blew up the bridge while the Egyptians were trying to cross."

The father was shocked. "Is that what the Rabbi taught you?"

The boy replied, "No. But you'd never believe the story he DID tell us!"

Why do we have a Haggadah at Passover?

So we can Seder right words.

Did you hear about the gefilte fish that went deaf?

He had to buy a herring-aid.

How does Moses make beer?

Hebrews it!

When it comes to Karpas, who is the king of Passover?

Elvis Parsley

How does NASA organize their Passover Seders in space? They planet

What did one Seder plate say to the other? “Dinner is on me!”

What kind of shoes did the Egyptians wear during the plague of Frogs? Open-toad!

Who is behind Pharaoh’s Evil Empire? Darth Seder

haggadah Section: Commentary / Readings