Blender Charoset Blues

Haggadah Section: Songs

Blender Charoset Blues (With Apologies to Bonnie Raitt)   Let me be your blender, baby Don't ya know I can whip, chop and  puree Won't you let me be your blender, baby Honey, I can whip, chop and  puree I'm gonna whip you to a charoset honey I'm gonna chop it up  today. Model is so special, honey Gives you everything you  need Guaranteed to blend it right. It's built for comfort, not for  speed My motor's most unique There's a style for every size You push  the right track, honey, Sit back and watch me Osterize Let me be your  blender, baby I can whip, chop, grate, cube and puree I'm gonna whip you  to a charoset I'm gonna chop you up today. If you bring the right  ingredients I'll make any sauce you choose I'll brisket-aise or  kugel-aise Any recipe you use I can whip some matzah batter I can  blend some  pesadik buns And if we get done blending, We might even  get some cooking done Let me be your blender, baby I got a cookbook  all my own. I call it a thousand and one ways, baby, to make my little  motor moan. Start off slow and easy, honey. I get up to a fine  puree. You work those gears just right, We'll make a real love charoset soufflé. My motor never quits I don't know how long you're gonna  last If you don't want your cubes diced, honey, You'd better push that  button fast. Let me be your blender, baby. I whip the freshest charoset in town. Don't you know what they're saying about me, baby. Can't no one bear my Waring down.   Happy Pre Pesach from The Jewdee Jewbilation Chavurah, with thanks to our daily Jewish Spiritual Renewal rabbi for giving us the information for the above.

Rabbi Arthur Segal

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