It is strictly prohibited for a Jew to own chametz (products of the five grains, wheat, barley, rye, spelt, oats) during the Pesach holiday. On the night before the first Seder, traditional Jews, after having cleaned their house thoroughly in the days and weeks beforehand, make a formal search for bread crumbs (that have been placed around the house immediately before the search), and then burn them along with any other leaven products the following morning, afterwards saying the "Kol Chamira," an Aramaic declaration that any other chametz that may have been missed shall be considered to be dust of the earth.

Republican Jews will have already hired an illegal immigrant for less than the minimum wage to complete all the Pesach cleaning well before the night before the first Seder. On that night, they instead drive around looking for places where they think illegal immigrants might be residing.

Before beginning this search, they recite the following benediction.

Blessed be the Lord our God, ruler of the universe, who has sanctified us with his commandments and who has commanded us concerning the removal of illegal immigrants.

At the end of the search, they make the following declaration.

All immigrants that are living in my neighborhood, which I have not seen or acted to remove, shall be considered to be from Norway.

The next morning, before ten o'clock, Republican Jews make their traditional phone call to ICE to report any immigrant-looking people they may have seen the night before. After ICE has completed its raid, they make the declaration,

All immigrants that are living in my neighborhood, whether they are good hombres or bad hombres, whether they are legal or illegal, whether they have been deported or not, shall be considered to be from Norway.

haggadah Section: Introduction
Source: Own Source