Top Failed Passover Promotions | Make Your Own Passover Haggadah

10. US ARMY - "THE ARMY OF 'who knows ONE?“

9. Animal Awareness Passover Campaign - "Frogs are our friends, not a plague."

8. American Red Cross - "This Passover, lets make rivers of blood“

7. Lenox Hill OBGYN - "We wont throw your newborn into the Nile“

6. Adoption Promotion Week - "Drop your unwanted children in a basket in the NYC Reservoir, for less fortunate parents to find!“

5. D'Angelo's Barber Shop: "Free lice check with every haircut“

4. Republic of China's Population Control Agency - Death of the first born commemorative pins

3. Ebay: "Your Afikomen is worth a lot more than that"

2. Radioshack: "You've Got 4 questions, We've Got Answers“

1. Kosher For Passover Ex-Lax, now in new Matzah strength: "Ex-odus"

haggadah Section: Maggid - Beginning

Source: Bangitout.com Seder Sidekick

Featured clips

-- Cup #2 & Dayenu

Cup #2 of Wine

by #Friendseder

Introduction

Madrigal Family Introduction

by Alexis Madrigal

We begin our Seder by calling to mind the efforts of those everywhere who celebrate the Passover by searching for its meaning in their lives. In our house, we're marrying multiple traditions, genetic lines, and ways of being. It's through rituals like this that we hope to form the strands of our life into a family that's woven together for all the time we can know. We're ecstatic you can join us for Octavio Moses's first Passover, and hope we can...

Introduction

We've seen this before

by Amy Kroll

-- Exodus Story

The Story of Passover (Script)

by JewBelong

NARRATOR 1 (10 LINES)NARRATOR 2 (13 LINES)PHARAOH (15 LINES)SLAVE (2 LINES)HERALD (1 LINE)MOSES (8 LINES)GOD (7 LINES)PHARAOH’S SON (2 LINES)AARON (12 LINES)SHEEP (2 LINES)YOCHEVED (1 LINE)PRINCESS (4 LINES)PRINCESS’S ATTENDANT (4 LINES)MIRIAM (4 LINES) NARRATOR 1: The story of Moses and the Exodus from Egypt has been told thousands of times. It’s a reminder to the Jewish people that once we were slaves in Egypt, but now we are free. And so, this year, as in years before, generation upon generation, we...

Yachatz

Shoes on the Doorstep

by HIAS

Before you begin the Seder, either walk with your guests to the front door or have one guest rise from the table and walk to the front door. There, place a pair of shoes on the doorstep and read the words below. Leader: The heart of the Passover Seder tells the story of the Jewish people’s exodus from slavery in Egypt. During the retelling of this story, we say the words, “ (Arami oved avi).” This phrase is sometimes translated as...

Maggid - Beginning

quote

by Robyn London

-- Four Children

5th Question

by Elliott Shadgoo

The Fifth Question: What can we do to help alleviate poverty? There are numerous charities which aim to get donations to end poverty. It is important to make food and money to these various charities to help others. We must remember that we were once "strangers in the land of Egypt" (Exodus 23:9). This quote appears numerous times in the Torah and explains to us to have sympathy for others because we were once abused and manipulated so we should consider...

-- Four Questions

¿Ma Nishtaná?

by Latino-Jewish Student Coalition

¿Qué hace diferente a esta noche de todas las [demás] noches? ¿Ma nishtaná haláila hazé micól haleilót? 1) En todas las noches no precisamos sumergir ni siquiera una vez, ¡y en esta noche lo hacemos dos veces? ...shebejól haleilót éin ánu matbilín afílu paám eját, haláila hazé shtéi peamím? 2) En todas las noches comemos jametz o matzá, ¡en esta noche solamente matzá? ...shebejól haleilót ánu ojlín jamétz umatzá, haláila hazé kuló matzá? 3) En todas las noches comemos cualquier clase...

Kadesh

4 Cups, 4 Promises and 4 Mothers

by Mishael Zion

The Four Cups of the Seder are structurally connected to the four verbal performances this evening: (1) Kiddush, sanctifying the holiday (2) Maggid, the storytelling (3) Birkat HaMazon, completing the Pesach meal; and (4) Hallel, completing the festival Psalms. The Talmud connects the Four Cups to God's Four Promises to Israel: "Tell the children of Israel: I am Adonai! I will take them out... I will rescue them… I will redeem them… and I will marry them taking them as my...

-- Four Questions

Multi Lingual Four Questions

by Sara Rubin

English What makes this night different from all [other] nights? 1) On all nights we need not dip even once, on this night we do so twice? 2) On all nights we eat chametz or matzah, and on this night only matzah? 3) On all nights we eat any kind of vegetables, and on this night maror? 4) On all nights we eat sitting upright or reclining, and on this night we all recline? Hebrew Mah nishtanah halyla hazeh mikol halaylot...

-- Cup #2 & Dayenu

dayeinu graph

by TANYA JOSELOWSKY

Yachatz

TOGETHER

by Erica Berkowitz

When we break the Matzah in half, we are symbolizing the split of the red sea. When we break the Matzah, we symbolize the hope that we can eat. When the red sea split, it symbolized the permission; yes you may pass, after hearing the word NO NO NO. During the Seder we get bored and we ask “When can we eat” and until this breaking of the Matzah, we get told NO NO NO. It is hope that there is...

Kadesh

Anne Frank Quote on Freedom

by Elizabeth Kohen

Hallel

Song for the Divine Mother of the Universe by Ben Lee

by Rabbi Jessica Lenza

Sweet mother I’m coming home Now I know I’m not alone Cause I’ve been far Now I’m close Sweet mother I’m coming home Tell me mother can you hear me sing Your love is everything Heart and soul Breath and skin Your love is everything Oh mother, please hold me tight Cause mother I need some help tonight What went wrong Will soon be right Oh mother, please hold me tight Tell me mother can you hear me sing Your love...

Shulchan Oreich

Shulchan Orech

by Arielle Angel

More clips from Seth Galena

Maror

Top Ten Slogans for Charoset

by Seth Galena

10. Ready Charoset Go!9. The breakfast of taskmaskers.8. Tastes Great. Mortar Filling. 7. Think outside the Matzah.6. Dip different.5. What's That? Nutin Honey.4. The taste even a Maror can love. 3. Flavor Cemented In.2. Can't Shake the Taste.1. The seder-picker-upper.

Shulchan Oreich

Top Ten Seder Recipes for the Plagued Cook

by Seth Galena

10. Watercress covered in Blood Orange Vinaigrette 9. Frog Leg Fiesta (great in cholent) 8. Angel Hair with lice, ehr, rice 7. Basil Pesto-lence6. Wild rice 5. Boiled Tongue with fiery gravy drizzle 4. Hail Caesar Salad 3. Low-custard 2. Death by Dark Chocolate1. Hardened hearts of palm

Kadesh

Top Ten Signs your uncle has had way more than four cups of wine:

by Seth Galena

10. You are singing Dayaynu, he is singing Lady Gaga 9. Invokes "Tonight I am free man" when asked politely to not lick the charoset from the bowl 8. He’s suddenly reading the Hagadah in a Australian accent (G’day Karpas Vegemite) 7. Two words: Manischewitz Pong 6. He adds “tomorrow’s hangover “ to the list of plagues 5. When you refill his cup, he says make it a double 4. After dripping wine for the plagues, he slurps your plate 3....