Skit - The Original Zoom
Skit - The Original Zoom
By
Dave Cowen
MOSES
What a nice flock my father-in-law Jethro has. I love tending you, dear flock.
The flock mews in appreciation. Suddenly Moses realizes he’s on the far side of the wilderness and has come to Mount Horeb. There he sees a strange sight.
MOSES
What is this strange sight?
It is a bush that is burning but does not burn up.
BURNING BUSH
Please join this meeting in progress.
MOSES
What meeting?
BURNING BUSH
Join the Burning Bush meeting in progress.
MOSES
This is a strange form of meeting, but OK.
BURNING BUSH
Here is your meeting ID and password.
MOSES
This is a lot of numbers, but OK.
BURNING BUSH
Do not come any closer!
MOSES
Why not?
BURNING BUSH
We must practice physical and social distancing with the Burning Bush. That is the purpose of using the Burning Bush for a meeting.
MOSES
OK. Who am I meeting with?
BURNING BUSH
You are meeting with I am who I am.
MOSES
Who’s that?
BURNING BUSH
That is who wants to have this Burning Bush meeting with you.
MOSES
But I don’t know any “I am who I am.”
BURNING BUSH
You do know me. I am the God of your ancestors, the God of Abraham & Sarah, the God of Isaac & Rebecca, and the God of Jacob, Rachel & Leah.
MOSES
Oh wow. Well. Here I am, Yahweh. I think. Can you see me?
BURNING BUSH
Your face is hidden. You need to turn--
MOSES
Is this better?
BURNING BUSH
Yes, but now I can’t hear you. I think you just--
MOSES
Did I mute myself?
BURNING BUSH
Yeah, I just unmuted you.
MOSES
Great. Thanks. Oh no! Now Jethro’s flock just ran in here. Sorry.
BURNING BUSH
It’s OK. We all have flocks to tend. I’ll wait.
MOSES
OK. Got that under control. So. Why do you want to meet with me, Yahweh?
BURNING BUSH
I have seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering. So I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a land flowing with milk and honey. And I am sending you to Pharaoh to tell him you’re bringing my people, the Israelites, out of Egypt.
MOSES
I’m sorry. You were really cutting out a lot there. I couldn’t quite hear everything you said. Maybe it was something on my end. You want me to lead the Jewish people out of Egypt?
BURNING BUSH
That’s basically it, yes.
MOSES
Pardon your servant, Lord. But I have always been ineloquent and challenged in platforms of communication. Clearly, you can tell from this Burning Bush meeting, which I am having so much trouble with. If this bringing of the Israelites out of Egypt might require new platforms of communication, I’m not sure I can do it myself.
BURNING BUSH
Don’t worry. I will help you and will teach you how to communicate in any new platform that is required during these times.
MOSES
Pardon your servant, Lord. But. Please employ someone else. New communication platforms are too difficult for me.
BURNING BUSH
My anger burns! These are just platforms! They can be learned like anything else?! But fine. Your younger brother, Aaron, the Levite. He is younger, more of a native in these platforms. He is already on his way to help you, and you shall use him to. OK, I have to hop off now.
MOSES
Hop off? Are you also a rabbit?
BURNING BUSH
It’s just a phrase. That we use on this platform sometimes. Ask your brother, Aaron.
Comedy Seder
- Introduction
- Songs
- Kadesh
- Urchatz
- Karpas
- Tzafun
- Yachatz
- Maggid - Beginning
- -- Four Questions
- -- Four Children
- -- Exodus Story
- -- Ten Plagues
- -- Cup #2 & Dayenu
- Rachtzah
- Motzi-Matzah
- Maror
- Koreich
- Shulchan Oreich
- Bareich
- Hallel
- Nirtzah
- Conclusion
- Commentary / Readings
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