Pharaoh Doesn't Pay

[To the tune of "I've Been Working on the Railroad"]

We've been working on these buildings;

Pharaoh doesn't pay.

We've been doing what he tells us

Mixing the straw with the clay

Can't you hear the master calling,

"Hurry up, make that brick!"

Can't you feel the master whip us

'Til we're feeling sick.

Oy vay, it's a mess, a terrible distress,

Oy vey, it's a mess for Jews, us Jews

Oy vay, it's a mess, a terrible distress,

Oy vey, it's a mess for Jews.

Moshe's in the palace with Pharaoh,

Warning of all God's clout, clout, clout, clout.

Moshe's in the palace with Pharaooooooooooh,

And God's gonna get us out!

We're singing...

Fee, fi, fiddely eye oh,

Make our Matzahs "to go" oh oh oh.

Fee, fi, fiddely eye oooooooooh,

Stick it to the ol' Pharaoh!

haggadah Section: Yachatz

Featured clips

Introduction

Jerry Seinfeld's Passover Stand-Up Introduction

by Dave Cowen

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Songs

Take Me Out to the Seder

by Rabbi Barry Dov Lerner

(sung to the tune of “Take me out to the ball game") Take us out of Egypt Free us from slavery Bake us some matzah in a haste Don't worry 'bout flavor-- Give no thought to taste. Oh it's rush, rush, rush, to the Red Sea If we don't cross it's a shame For it's ten plagues, Down and you're out At the Pesach history game

Introduction

Matzah

by Will Deutsch

Introduction

Monty Python Haggadah: The Seder Plate

by Sue Kayton

To help us remember the story of the first Passover, we have assembled various symbolic foods on a Seder plate. There's egg and spam; shankbone and spam; greens and spam, bitter herbs and spam, charoses and spam, and spam, and spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam matzoh and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam... Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! But I can't eat spam, it's not kosher!

Introduction

I Flee

by Warren Hoffman

I'm in hour three of cleaning my kitchen and there's still no end in sight.Crouching on my kitchen floor, refrigerator door open, food stuffs spoiling around me, I wonderIs this what the Israelites did? Did they throw out their moldy jars of pasta sauce and shriveled vegetables, so rotten I'm not sure what some of the things once were?I have taken my kitchen apart in a rather manic fashion. Pots to scour sit on the countertops, cabinet doors are open, their...

Introduction

The Sorting Hat of Passover

by Cantor fbg

The Sorting Hat of Passover You might belong in Gryffindor where dwell the brave at heart. They forge the path for those to come with justice, tzedek, from the start!You might belong in Hufflepuff where they are just and loyal. Those patient ‘Puffs are true and unafraid of Middle Eastern turmoil!Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw if you’ve a ready mind. Where those of wit and learning will always find chevruta in kind.Or perhaps in Slytherin you’ll make your real friends. ...

Introduction

Four Cups of Wine

by Haggadot

Kadesh

Kadesh: Happy Hour Begins

by Michelle

KADESH: Happy Hour begins Humorous Bangitout.com Q. "Red, Red, Wine...Stay close to me" -- Why Red Wine, Bob? Sure there is the whole symbolic "looks like blood" thing (Jewish slaves or Paschal Lamb? You make the call) -- but the Ishbitzer Rav gives a novel interpretation: Wine, is the product of a long process (the longer it takes, the more expensive!) From the grape to the bottle, it goes through some long hard processes. So too, the Jewish Nation also requires...

Urchatz

2020 Seder Order

by Haggadot

Urchatz

Seinfeld Urchatz

by Dave Cowen

Seinfeld Urchatz by Dave Cowen (adapted from The Yada Yada Haggadah) INT. JERRY’S APARTMENT - NIGHT ELAINE Now what? KRAMER It’s time for the Urchatz. Where we all wash our hands before the meal with this. KRAMER PASSES A BOWL FILLED WITH WATER TO ELAINE. ELAINE OK... ELAINE WASHES HER HANDS. THEN WHEN SHE IS DIRECTED BY KRAMER TO PASS THE BOWL TO THE NEXT PERSON, JERRY REALIZES WHAT’S GOING ON. HE TURNS HORRIFIED: JERRY Wait. We’re all washing our hands...

Urchatz

Wash Your Hands song

by Dvora Ferrell

I Want to Wash My Hands to the tune of “I Want to Hold Your Hand” by The Beatles Oh yeah, I’ll tell you something It’s one of God’s commands When you start the Seder You need to wash your hands You need to wash your hands You need to wash your hands Oh my what a feeling Before the paschal lamb And yes it’s appealing I want to wash my hands I want to wash my hands I want to...

Karpas

Seinfeld Karpas

by Dave Cowen

INT. JERRY'S APARTMENT ELAINE Now do we eat? I’m starving. KRAMER Sort of. Next up is the Karpas. Who wants to do the Karpas? Yael? George's love interest Yael replies: YAEL I’d be honored. For the Karpas, we dip fresh green vegetables into bitter, salty water. It symbolizes the celebration of a painful moment in Jewish history, by combining a metaphor of tears and slavery, the salt water, with one of spring and rebirth, the green vegetable, in this case, the...

Karpas

Karpas Buzzfeed style quiz

by KDS Students 2019

More clips from Zeth Weissman

Kadesh

Take Me Out to the Seder

by Zeth Weissman

[To the tune of "Take Me Out to the Ballgame"] Take me out to the Seder Take me out with the crowd. Feed me on Matzah and chicken legs, I don't care for the hard-boiled eggs. And it's root, root, root for Elijah That he will soon reappear And let's hope, hope, hope that we'll meet Once again next year! Take me out to the Seder Take me out with the crowd. Read the Haggadah And don't skip a word. Please...

Karpas

The Seder Plate

by Zeth Weissman

The Seder plate is the center of the Passover ritual. On it rests the Egg, the Parsley and salt water, the Charosas, the Shankbone, the Maror, and the Matzah. The Seder is like a puzzle. Each step fits together with the next, creating a ritual passed down through the generations by our people. From biblical times until now - the Seder has been one of the things that has kept our people together. This puzzle of the Seder is the essence...

Yachatz

by Zeth Weissman

[To the tune of "I've Been Working on the Railroad"] We've been working on these buildings; Pharaoh doesn't pay. We've been doing what he tells us Mixing the straw with the clay Can't you hear the master calling, "Hurry up, make that brick!" Can't you feel the master whip us 'Til we're feeling sick. Oy vay, it's a mess, a terrible distress, Oy vey, it's a mess for Jews, us Jews Oy vay, it's a mess, a terrible distress, Oy vey,...