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"body": "<p>Leader:<br />\nThe pressure of making a Seder right now has been so intense. Passover is THE time of year in the Jewish calendar that's made for a time like right now. We all know. We're living it every day. Most of us don't want to, even though we have to.</p>\n\n<p>Reader:<br />\nWe read about seders happening in concentration camps and in resistance cells, in hiding from the inquisitors, and the hallowed evening before Jesus was crucified. The Exodus story is the stuff of art museums and cartoons, melodramas and stunning slave hymns. This Seder is a ritual for a story that is timeless, limitless, powerful, and about personal and collective liberation in the form of Moses and the people called the Hebrews.</p>\n\n<p>Reader:<br />\nTonight we undertake this ritual whose structure holds whatever we choose to put into it. This is the one time of year that we carry out this particular set of actions, sayings, and foods-eatings - to remind us that ritual and life's rhythms take place on very broad and very detail-oriented scales. We wash our hands without saying a blessing so many times a day, but having this specified and mandated tonight gives the act a new life, and makes the next hand washing, when we do say the blessing, an elevated moment.</p>\n\n<p>Leader:<br />\nWe're here tonight to experience liberation, which feels like something so optimistic as to almost completely elude me in this political climate. In a year like this... in a historical timeline moment like this where it feels like every day gets worse, not better. We don't know what history will say, but we know they'll be talking about about us. How much can we individually shape that? What about the things that history won't tell? The little, personal things that drive us from day to day, year to year, lifetime to lifetime, family to family - that is to say, what are the things that make it possible for us to get personal with our history?<br />\nIn this Seder I want to look at some of those smaller, more personal bits of liberation.<br />\nIt still feels important to name, and to cycle back (like an egg or a calendar) into the bigger picture, even as we're exploring our personal liberations. Because history is on us like the pressure of the ocean. Because Passover holds so many references and metaphors that are so easy, so obvious especially now, and we all know what they are.</p>\n\n<p>Reader:<br />\nThe Bible says: Love and welcome the stranger in your midst because we were strangers in Egypt – which is mirrored in so many articles, messages, and protest signs around immigration and the world’s refugee crises and countless other political movements. We encounter Moses’s humility and learn about honoring our ancestors – whether that manifests as preserving Medicare or honoring our treaties with Native American First Nations, whose land and water rights should be guaranteed in perpetuity for their ancestors' suffering and for the health of our planet. We see the ways that growth and gain infiltrates the practitioners of government – Pharoah’s slavery and city-building – to the detriment of the people who live on the land, whether they’re 10th or 1st generation; whether their ancestors arrived by force or by dreams.</p>\n\n<p>Reader:<br />\nWe read about how Miriam, Shifra, and Puah are the brave, risk-taking lynchpins of the Exodus story, and that women's labor – both professional and familial – is what makes this story possible. Shifra and Puah, reproductive health services employees, were not Hebrews but risked their lives in defiance of the Pharoh's direct orders in order to save Hebrew children. This teaches us to love planned parenthood forever(!) and to do everything we can to protect black and brown children from being senselessly murdered by police officers. Miriam sought the safety and perpetuity of her family by any means possible, and in her success she was able to care for the entire populace of Hebrews by providing them with water while they wandered in the desert. So too can taking small risks lead to empowerment and then to broader action. </p>\n\n<p>Reader:<br />\nWe encounter with Moses - Egyptian royalty and Hebrew - and with ourselves the conflict and motivation and work that comes from holding multiple things within us that aren't opposites which we prove because we exist – they are the nuance of life. We read that something can be burning but not consumed. That we can't cross the Red Sea without looking at and mourning the Egyptians drowning beside us. That a person can be raised as royalty but still hold a sense of justice that behooves action. That what we perceive isn't always the whole truth – isn’t always perceptible to us, as to the Egyptians who thought Moses was one of them.</p>\n\n<p>Leader:<br />\nSo for this Seder let's hold all these things we mostly already know. As we move forward to talk about <em>US</em>. The seemingly simple question of what makes us feel liberated. <br />\nIt's what I've been thinking about so much lately, and so as my free-but-captive audience and my family, I hope you'll also find some meaning to a broad series of four questions that I'd like to ask over the course of the evening:</p>\n\n<ol>\n\t<li>What does individual liberation look like?</li>\n\t<li>What do I need to feel liberated and free within myself – how do I fly?</li>\n\t<li>How is my liberation a part of the world around me?</li>\n\t<li>How do I extrapolate out about what others might need based on what I need?</li>\n</ol>\n\n<p>I hope that together we can find some answers or ideas or actions to address these questions. I don't want to get all therapy-like, but I do think that, as a way to have a hand in exploring our own and aiding in each others' liberations, we can create a safe place here, we can - if we want to - share thoughts, feelings, observations, and strategies that can help us to understand ourselves, and to give each other things like empathy, hope, what to think about, and probably more we can't expect yet.</p>\n\n<p>…. Ok. So this is about eight Seders’ worth of conversations just in this introduction. I want to take a minute to breathe this all in and feel our impending liberations as we look ahead at this Seder evening. I want to do this by lighting candles.</p>\n",
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"body": "<p>Leader:<br />\nI've been thinking a lot about folks I’ve heard who have said – of their votes for \"45\" – that their votes for didn’t have anything to do with anti-semitism, racism, sexism, homophobia, etc. What is the connection within ourselves as individuals – the micro – and citizens of this country, this planet – the macro? We've talked a lot about ourselves as individuals, what we need, what we give, and a few other things.<br />\nNow, let's think about the macro angle - about how we place ourselves as individuals in the realities of the world we live in now. In this story it's relatively clear - there's slaveholding royalty, and there's slaves.<br />\nFor us as American Jews (and our allies), placing ourselves is getting more confusing now, and it takes more work to navigate because we have to hold a lot of different realities within ourselves. As Jews we suffer from anti-Semitism every day. Also, we are white and experience the privilege granted to white-passing people in a society built on racism.<br />\n<br />\nWhat does it mean to both benefit from and be hindered by white supremacy?<br />\nWhat other parts of ourselves are foundational and live in places that are bigger than we are as individuals? <br />\nWhat good does naming privilege do? Does it feel uncomfortable? What do we risk? <br />\nWhat good can we gain from the ways we are that are subject to discrimination? <br />\n<br />\nOk so we can’t solve this, but it seems to be deeply wrapped up in our individual liberations because it’s about, among other things, what makes us feel powerful and what gives and takes power without our permission. We learn at the end of the Exodus story that those who had been slaves were not permitted to enter what the Bible calls \"the promised land\" - it's explained that their mindset of slavery would not allow them to experience the freedom or practice the leadership and other skills necessary to the entitlement of claiming a land. How are we impacted by our surroundings and political histories, as the Hebrews were? The events we encounter will permanently change how we see the world - naming those things can sometimes help us to see more closely *how* we see. </p>\n",
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"body": "<p>Reader:<br />\n<br />\nThe Plagues raise so many questions. These are just four, but let's add as many more as we've got. <br />\n<br />\n1. Scientifically / logically what actually even happened? We've seen terrible storms and we've seen infestations, but what did this kind of darkness look like? <br />\n2. Stated in another way: How much of the plagues are metaphorical? What do the plagues represent? <br />\n3. What kind of point did the plagues prove? What doe someone else's trauma have to do with our liberation? <br />\n4. How deserving or complicit were average Egyptians? We learn about the evil taskmasters and understand that when slavery happens an entire society is complicit, but what about Shifra and Puah who were government employees but were rebelling in their own ways? What might this say about risk taking, privilege, and what's given up despite our individual acts of goodness? </p>\n",
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"body": "<p>The Sages taught: Four entered the orchard [pardes], i.e., dealt with the loftiest secrets of Torah, and they are as follows: Ben Azzai; and ben Zoma; Aḥer, the other, a name for Elisha ben Avuya; and Rabbi Akiva. Rabbi Akiva,the senior among them, said to them: When, upon your arrival in the upper worlds, you reach pure marble stones, do not say: Water, water, although they appear to be water, because it is stated: “He who speaks falsehood shall not be established before My eyes” (Psalms 101:7).</p>\n\n<p>The Gemara proceeds to relate what happened to each of them: Ben Azzai glimpsed at the Divine Presence and died. And with regard to him the verse states: “Precious in the eyes of the Lord is the death of His pious ones”(Psalms 116:15). Ben Zoma glimpsed at the Divine Presence and was harmed, i.e., he lost his mind. And with regard to him the verse states: “Have you found honey? Eat as much as is sufficient for you, lest you become full from it and vomit it” (Proverbs 25:16). Aḥer chopped down the shoots of saplings. In other words, he became a heretic. Rabbi Akiva came out safely.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Breaking! Such an easy metaphor. We can all encounter a truth together and react differently, even when we love each other, even when we learn together. What things make us believe, lose faith, go mad? </p>\n",
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"body": "<p><strong>I</strong>n the year that king Uzziah died I saw the Lord sitting upon a throne high and lifted up, and His train filled the temple. Above Him stood the seraphim; each one had six wings: with twain he covered his face and with twain he covered his feet, and with twain he did fly. And one called unto another, and said:</p>\n\n<p>Holy, holy, holy, is the LORD of hosts;<br />\nThe whole earth is full of His glory.</p>\n\n<p>And the posts of the door were moved at the voice of them that called, and the house was filled with smoke.<br />\nThen said I:</p>\n\n<p>Woe is me! for I am undone;<br />\nBecause I am a man of unclean lips,<br />\nAnd I dwell in the midst of a people of unclean lips;<br />\nFor mine eyes have seen the King,<br />\nThe LORD of hosts.</p>\n\n<p>Then flew unto me one of the seraphim, with a glowing stone in his hand, which he had taken with the tongs from off the altar; and he touched my mouth with it, and said:</p>\n\n<p>Lo, this hath touched thy lips;<br />\nAnd thine iniquity is taken away,<br />\nAnd thy sin expiated.</p>\n\n<p>And I heard the voice of the Lord, saying:</p>\n\n<p>Whom shall I send,<br />\nAnd who will go for us?</p>\n\n<p>Then I said: ‘Here am I; send me.’</p>\n\n<p>And He said: ‘Go, and tell this people:</p>\n\n<p>Hear ye indeed, but understand not;<br />\nAnd see ye indeed, but perceive not.</p>\n\n<p>Make the heart of this people calloused,<br />\nAnd make their ears heavy,<br />\nAnd shut their eyes;<br />\nLest they, seeing with their eyes,<br />\nAnd hearing with their ears,<br />\nAnd understanding with their heart,<br />\nReturn, and be healed.’</p>\n\n<p>Then said I: ‘Lord, how long?’ And He answered:</p>\n\n<p>Until their towns are destroyed<br />\nand their houses are deserted,<br />\nuntil their fields are empty,<br />\nand I have sent them far away,<br />\nleaving their land in ruins.<br />\nIf only a tenth of the people are left,<br />\neven they will be destroyed.<br />\nJust as stumps remain after trees<br />\nhave been cut down,<br />\nthe holy seed is the stump</p>\n",
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"body": "<p>Octavia Butler’s 1993 novel, “Parable of the Sower,” opens in Los Angeles in 2024. Global warming has brought drought and rising seawater. The middle class and working poor live in gated neighborhoods, where they fend off the homeless with guns and walls. Fresh water is scarce, as valuable as money. Pharmaceutical companies have created “smart drugs,” which boost mental performance, which was taken by the mother of Lauren Oya Olamina, the book's protagonist. Lauren, a 15-year-old Black girl, lives with a condition known as \"hyperempathy syndrome,\" a result of a mother's use of these \"smart drugs.\" Hyperempathy syndrome means that she feels viscerally others' pain and pleasure - making her both more vulnerable and more compassionate to others.</p>\n\n<p>Lauren sees that her cul de sac is increasingly under attack and is likely to be destroyed despite the wall that the residents built together as a form of protection. She tries to get others to face up to this reality but they prefer to leave their fates in God's hands (her father is a Baptist minister) and stay confined within their wall. Instead, she equips herself to survive in that future. She founds her own religion, the central tenet of which is God is Change.</p>\n\n<p>Once their town wall is breached, most of the community is killed by looters. Lauren survives and becomes a refugee, with two others from her community. They join thousands of travelers making their way from the barren, unliveable southern California and walk 300 miles north, collecting like-minded travelers who pledge to form a new kind of family, where relationships aren't transactional, where everyone supports each other, and where the vulnerability and compassion of Lauren's hyperempathy are benefits instead of taboo. Together they find land in the north, and settle there to mourn those they've lost and move forward, living out the tenet that God is Change.</p>\n\n<p>Some Selections:</p>\n\n<p>I realize I don’t know very much. None of us knows very much. But we can all learn more. Then we can teach one another. We can stop denying reality or hoping it will go away by magic.</p>\n\n<p>Freedom is dangerous, Cory, but it’s precious, too. You can’t just throw it away or let it slip away. You can’t sell it for bread and pottage.</p>\n\n<p>\"Your God doesn’t care about you at all,” Travis said.</p>\n\n<p>“All the more reason to care about myself and others.”</p>\n\n<p>“From what I’ve read,” I said to him, “the world goes crazy every three or four decades. The trick is to survive until it goes sane again.”</p>\n\n<p><strong> <em>All that you touch</em> </strong><br />\n<strong> <em>You Change.</em> </strong><br />\n<strong> <em>All that you Change</em> </strong><br />\n<strong> <em>Changes you.</em> </strong><br />\n<strong> <em>The only lasting truth</em> </strong><br />\n<strong> <em>Is Change.</em> </strong><br />\n<strong> <em>God</em> </strong><br />\n<strong> <em>Is Change.</em> </strong></p>\n\n<p><strong> <em>***</em> </strong></p>\n\n<p>\"When I say “God is Change”, I am simultaneously denying the claim that God is unchanging and affirming that this world of contingency is all there is. When I say that God can be shaped by us, I am simultaneously denying the claim that God is transcendent and affirming that we have only ourselves to look to for a better future. “God is change — Shape God” is a challenge to see, to learn, and to work to shape our reality, just as we are shaped by it. \"<br />\n~ John Halsted</p>\n\n<p>What are we waiting for? What change do we know is coming, and what are we doing about it? What are the ways that we are empathetic, vulnerable, and compassionate - and how do we translate these experiences into action?</p>\n",
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"body": "<p>When the Torah is talking about the \"ger,\" pshat is CLEARLY referencing an immigrant.</p>\n\n<p>Clearly Avraham was not a convert when he was a ger with Bnei Chet.</p>\n\n<p>Clearly the Jewish people were not converts when they were geirim in Egypt.</p>\n\n<p>And more.</p>\n\n<p>Rashi agrees on Exodus 22:20 agrees:</p>\n\n<p>כָּל לְשׁוֹן גֵּר אָדָם שֶׁלֹּא נוֹלַד בְּאוֹתָהּ מְדִינָה, אֶלָּא בָּא מִמְּדִינָה אַחֶרֶת לָגוּר שָׁם:</p>\n\n<p>Wherever the Torah uses the word 'ger,' it refers to a person who was not born in that land, but rather comes from some other land to live there.</p>\n\n<p>The Chafetz Chayim in his Sefer Hamitzvot (61) agrees:</p>\n\n<p>סא. מצות עשה לאהוב את הגר. שנאמר: \"ואהבתם את הגר\" (דברים י, יט). וזוהי מצוה נוספת על ואהבת לרעך כמוך (שהרי הגר הוא גם כן בכלל ישראל). והקב\"ה אוהב את הגר דכתיב \"ואוהב גר לתת לו לחם ושמלה\" (דברים י, יח), ונאמר \"ואתם ידעתם את נפש הגר\" (שמות כג, ט), ופירוש גר כאן, הוא שבא מארץ אחרת ומעיר אחרת לגור אתנו, ומכל שכן גר שנתגייר.</p>\n\n<p>It is a positive commandment to love the stranger, as it says “And you shall love the stranger” Deuteronomy (1:19). And this is an additional commandment on the commandment to love your neighbor as yourself, for a ger (convert) is included in Israel. And God loves the stranger, as it says “[God] loves the stranger to provide bread and clothing” (Deuteronomy 10:18). And it says “And you know the soul of the stranger” (Exodus 23:9). And the meaning of a stranger here is one who comes from far away land and a different city to live with us, and how much the more so one who converts.</p>\n\n<p>Rav Hirsch agrees:</p>\n\n<p>“...the great, oft-repeated in the Torah, basic law is laid down, that it is not race, not descent, not birth or country or property, altogether nothing external or due to chance, but simply and purely the inner spiritual and moral worth of a human being, which gives him all the rights of a man and of a citizen. This basic principle is further ensured against neglect by the additional motive for you were strangers in the land of Egypt. Here it says simply and absolutely for you were strangers in the land of Egypt, your whole misfortune in Egypt was that you were 'foreigners,' 'aliens' there. As such, according to the views of other nations, you had no RIGHT to be there, had no claim to rights of settlement, home or property. Accordingly, you had no equal rights in appeal against unfair or unjust treatment. As aliens you were without any rights in Egypt, out of that grew all your slavery and wretchedness. Therefore beware, so runs the warning, from making rights in your own State conditional on anything other than on that simple humanity which every human being as such bears within him. With any limitation of these human rights the gate is opened to the whole horror of Egyptian mishandling of human beings.</p>\n\n<p>We could go on and on...</p>\n\n<p>In terms of a strictly halachik obligation, it gets narrowed in the Bavli to focus on strangers in our midst in an exilic world, aka converts. But the value is still there and as we've seen, many argue that even from a strict halachik perspective the mitzvah applies to immigrants.</p>\n\n<p>It is not \"liberal politics masquerading as Judaism\" when Jews try and protect vulnerable immigrants in society. It is a deep expression of a fundamental Torah value. And it's needed now more than ever.</p>\n\n\n",
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"body": "<p>In dipping a vegetable \"ka'zait\" - the size of an olive - in salt water we're more obviously asked to viscerally experience others' - and our own - sadness. The point is often the freshness of the vegetable, the sad, saltiness of the water. </p>\n\n<p>Think about the size, though, of the vegetable. Such a tiny amount of a thing to eat. It's still early in the evening so we don't want to let anyone be too satisfied...! But this is connected to how, right now, we're still slaves. Later - much later - we'll tell a story, cross the salty sea, and experience freedom. </p>\n\n<p>In the meantime, given that we're slaves, how do we feel about this little bit of vegetable? Is it our ration? Such a paltry thing? </p>\n",
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"body": "<p>Sylvia Earle has done something no one else has — walked solo on the bottom of the sea, under a quarter mile of water. Here, she speaks to Krista Tippett on the On Being radio show:</p>\n\n<p>DR. EARLE: My first experiences going through the sunlit area and into what generally is known as the twilight zone, where sunlight fades and darkness begins to take over. It's like the deepest twilight or earliest dawn. You can see shapes, but not really distinct forms and this begins at about 500 feet. By the time you get down to 600 feet, 200 meters or so, it's really, really dark. It's like starlit circumstances. A thousand feet and below, it is truly dark, but still enough light penetrates clear ocean water in the middle of the day and that's when I made the dive, right about high noon in September. I could see shapes even at 400 meters, at 1,250 feet or so. That was exciting just to be able to realize that glow, that soft glow, was the sky above separated by 1,250 feet of water.</p>\n\n<p>But the flash and sparkle and glow of bioluminescent creatures. There were corals that just grow in a single stretch, no branches, like giant bedsprings from the ocean floor. And when I touched them, little rings of blue fire pulsed all the way down from where I touched to the base of these spiraling creatures. They were taller than I; they're just beautiful creatures. They call them bamboo coral because they have joints that resemble the joints on a bamboo plant.</p>\n\n<p>The submarine headlights were on, and I asked them to turn them off so that I could see the darkness and revel in the bioluminescence. It's that firefly kind of light, but also when the lights were on, I could see crabs that were attached to these large corals that grew on the sea floor. Some were pink, some were orange, some were yellow, some were black. They're just beautiful. It's a garden. It looks like a flower garden. And the red crabs were hanging onto these great sea fan-like structures. They looked like shirts on the line. In that little bit of current, they were just, you know, slowly moving. There were eels that were wrapped around the base of the coral. It was just beautiful, really ethereal.</p>\n\n<p>On the bottom, two and a half hours, and I later spoke with an astronaut friend, Buzz Aldrin, and he said, \"Well, that's about as long as we had to walk on the moon, two and a half hours.\" But what they did not have on the moon, Buzz Aldrin and Neil Armstrong and those who came later, they didn't have just this avalanche of life, this great diversity all around. Everywhere you looked, there were little fish with lights down the side. Of course, the corals themselves are alive. There were little burrows of creatures that were dwelling in the sediments on the sea floor. The water itself is like minestrone except all the little bits are alive.</p>\n\n<p>And the capacity for variation coupled with the common ground that we share with bacteria, with jellyfish, with sponges, with groupers, with cats and dogs and horses — there's a chemistry of life that has this capacity for enormous variation, maybe infinite variation. I think it's a source of endless wonder and something that's worth using our minds, that special gift that we have.</p>\n\n<p>There are other intelligent creatures out there, whales, dolphins, elephants, fish. Some of them are really smart, but they don't know what we know. They can't see the inside of a star or the inside of a starfish except some of them maybe to eat them. But we have this power not only to explore, but we can go back in time. We can anticipate far into the future. We can plot a course for ourselves based on intelligence. And the trick is OK, homo sapiens, the smart ones, the wise ones, let's take advantage of that capacity.</p>\n",
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"body": "<p>The ritual we are sitting down to is one that others have sat down to for thousands of years. We move in tonight’s story from one place to another - from slavery to freedom, from a narrow place to a place of limitless possibilities - we chronicle the exodus from Mitzrayim, which in many ways is like getting our happy ending, walking out into the desert horizon toward the promised land. </p>\n\n<p>But we know that history has continued from the moment of exodus until now, to find us somehow here, within and aware of the cycles and spirals of human history, still wandering. We are reminded almost daily, especially now, of our transience, of the precarious nature of history and our place in it - our futures are still in our own hands and hearts and dreams as we wander. </p>\n\n<p>There is a story in Talmud about an old man who is 100 years old. He’s working in a field, planting a fig tree, when the king encounters him and asks <em>Why, at your age, are you still working?</em> The man said, I have always worked and I will always work, that is what it means to live. I plant this tree with the understanding <em>I may never eat from its fruit, but my children, their children, and all those to come will certainly, and this is why I work</em>. (In the story, the man lives another ten years and does eat the fruit, which he says is god’s will). </p>\n\n<p>On Passover, we are told that there’s a promised land. And we know that in the Passover texts, liberation isn’t the end of the story. In the story of the Seder, much of what we encounter can be seen literally, or can be read as metaphors - the rituals are elemental, a little bit mystical, and often mirrored. Blood is a plague which is also a protective element in being saved from the angel of death at one of the darkest moments of this story. A killing which is also mirrored in the killing of enslaved children at the beginning of the story. It is said that pillars of fire led the fleeing slaves to the sea. We mirror that in our ritual by lighting candles. </p>\n\n<p>Tonight, we will each light our own candles as we welcome Shabbat and Passover together, we will reach to the sky as we do, and enact a little bit of the pillar of fire that will lead us to our liberation. Let this create a space for us to celebrate our freedom, name the experiences and difficulties of attaining that, and move forward in our wandering towards our own promised land, with enough destruction in our wakes that we can work toward whole new futures. Let our light fill the room with the things that will sustain us - a kind of liberation that isn’t linear because it can’t be because it’s about our dreams. Let us encounter water as though we have already walked through it.</p>",
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"body": "<p>Our world, too, includes prisons and persecution, and even comrades who don’t agree with our personal visions of what freedom, life, humanity look like. An early dayeinu - each of our own dream-visions is enough for us.</p>\n\n<p>Since we’re not given a blessing to say during Urchatz, only water, we can let our minds wander. While we do this, think about the questions:</p>\n\n<p>* What is your own beautiful ideal? What does it mean to live it? <br />\n* What will keep us sustained - hydrated - as we’re moving towards those ideals? What - and who - brings us nourishment while we're on our way to our futures?</p>\n\n<p>Put your dreams into the water as it comes to you.</p>\n\n<p> <em>Ritually wash hands without reciting the blessing. </em> </p>\n\n<p>In recognition and celebration of the feminist Seder tradition of Miriam’s Cup, this water, which now holds our dreams, will fill our Miriam’s Cup in a ritual that, from what we know, came up in Boston in the early 1990s at a feminist Rosh Chodesh ritual, and took flight from there into the Passover Seder, recognizing the role that Miriam played in the Exodus and the wandering that followed.</p>",
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"body": "<p>Shehechianu is a tool for marking time and achievement, lifecycles, other annual cycles, and moments of gratitude. It's been used this way for thousands of years. Tonight, we mark an annual cycle that somehow gives us the opportunity to begin something anew. To mark gratitude - amidst, even despite - and celebrate that we made it here, to this moment. </p>\n\n<p>There are seemingly infinite blessings that Jewish liturgy offers us to mark the variety of experiences of being a human on this planet - from this rather vague and all-purpose blessing to the specific blessings for seeing the ocean or a rainbow. Then on top of that are the countless \"tkhines,\" or individual prayers, that have been written by average folks for hundreds of years - from blessings for the safety to a blessing @decolonizingjewishness wrote last year for burning a flag on July 4th. What blessings will you write this year? <br />\n </p>\n\n<p><img src=\"https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/WG1NknVRQC54KAjxofbJYHv3Ia1yHaRTH2ByK4aiGssydhDPEV_Q_DW4rWln3vMWQv5B6Fxjr5zoj34vDj_89SJVbWLdSlhlQ-uI3H48XJ-L49HUKwrYEaLZptYhPN4Vmvy9v95z\" alt=\"WG1NknVRQC54KAjxofbJYHv3Ia1yHaRTH2ByK4aiGssydhDPEV_Q_DW4rWln3vMWQv5B6Fxjr5zoj34vDj_89SJVbWLdSlhlQ-uI3H48XJ-L49HUKwrYEaLZptYhPN4Vmvy9v95z\" /></p>\n\n<p> <em>Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech haolam, shehecheyanu, v'kiy'manu, v'higianu laz'man hazeh.</em> </p>\n\n<p>It is such a blessing that we live and are uplifted, that we are sustained by this world, and that we found our way here, for this moment.</p>\n\n<p>Amen</p>",
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"body": "<p><b>In Arabic</b></p>\n\n<p>The only language of loss left in the world is Arabic-<br />\nThese words were said to me in a language not Arabic.<br />\n<br />\nAncestors, you've left me a plot in the family graveyard-<br />\nWhy must I look, in your eyes, for prayers in Arabic?<br />\n<br />\nMajnoon, his clothes ripped, still weeps for his Laila.<br />\nO, this is the madness of the desert, his crazy Arabic.<br />\n<br />\nWho listens to Ishmael? Even now he cries out:<br />\nAbraham, throw away your knives, recite a psalm in Arabic.<br />\n<br />\nFrom exile Mahmoud Darwish writes to the world:<br />\nYou'll all pass between the fleeting words of Arabic.<br />\n<br />\nAt an exhibition of miniatures, such delicate calligraphy:<br />\nKashmiri paisley tied into the golden hair of Arabic!<br />\n<br />\nThe Koran prophesied a fire of men and stones.<br />\nWell, it's all now come true, as it was said in the Arabic.<br />\n<br />\nWhen Lorca died, they left the balconies open and saw<br />\nhis gasidas braided, on the horizon, into knots of Arabic.<br />\n<br />\nMemory is no longer confused, it has a homeland-<br />\nSays Shammas: Territorialize each confusion in a graceful Arabic.<br />\n<br />\nWhere there were homes in Deir Yassin, you'll see dense forests-<br />\nThat village was razed. There's no sign of Arabic.<br />\n<br />\nI too, O Amichai, saw the dresses of beautiful women.<br />\nAnd everything else, just like you, in Death, Hebrew, and Arabic.<br />\n<br />\nThey ask me to tell them what Shahid means-<br />\nListen: It means \"The Beloved\" in Persian, \"Witness\" in Arabic.</p>",
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"body": "<p>So, first of all, the four children appear in the Jerusalem Talmud, where Rabbi Hyyia, a student of Rabbi Judah the Prince, is quoted as bringing this parable. Hyyia’s text varies quite a bit from the text we know today: for one, the simple child is not \"simple\" but stupid. But it is Rabbis at the time of the collection of the Mishnah and Talmud who are creating this rubric. And so we proceed: </p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>The \"Wise\" Child</strong> asks about the rules and commandments that govern the Seder, and receives a full explanation of the details. This child looks to the future with the rules in mind, seeking structures and understanding that life necessitates systems. Looking toward the future, this child is savvy: what can I do within the structures I'm given, they might ask. In what ways do we search our surroundings for external rules that help us to structure our lives? How does this help, and how does this hurt? Do you look for structures, for open spaces? Sometimes one or the other? </p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>The \"Wicked\" Child </strong>asks their interlocutor what Passover means to them. This is a separation that incurs wrath, and the statement that this child would not have been among those saved, because of a lack of collective self-identity. But, are they looking for a more personal explanation of how to connect individually with what's going on, and how to proceed? Taking in information from others' experiences in order to shape their own? This child might have done some self-education to ask a more targetted question, which might not have produced the same kind of wrath; perhaps we can ask each other \"what does it mean to you to experience the Seder as though you were personally liberated from Egypt?\" This child looks to the future, perhaps, with good boundaries and a different understanding of self - and what do we gain by othering this person who is a child in our midst? Do we really get to be arbiters of who would have been saved and who would not? </p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>The \"Simple\" Child</strong> looks to the future, totally baffled. What does this all mean? What the heck is going on? This child has an open demeanor - there's not a lot of ego here, and it's clear from what's being asked, which isn't actually that different from the \"wicked\" child (the only difference is the absence of \"to you\"), but it's met with a much more tolerant kind of inclusion. By implying that we're all in this together, this child is given help understanding what's going on, approaching their communities with humility. Still, like the \"wicked\" child, their question doesn't show the deeper knowledge that would indicate self-education. This child is looking to the bigger picture, unlike the \"wise\" child who's looking for the micro-level of life.</p>\n\n\n\n<p><strong>The Child \"Who Does Not Know How to Ask\" </strong>is present but silent - looking to the future with a kind of carelessness, perhaps, or alternately with paralysis. The thing about silence is that you can't always tell which is which. The rabbis use \"this is because of what god did for me\" here - it's the same othering and dividing language as we saw with the \"wicked\" child, who doesn't get to be included in our collective. Not super merciful? What would have happened if the Rabbis had asked this child a question? How do we embrace our ignorance with humility when we don't know how to ask? That's a lesson from the \"simple\" child, perhaps. Have there been times when we've assumed ignorance from someone's silence? </p>",
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"covertext": "Maggid – Beginning מגיד Raise the tray with the matzot and say: הָא לַחְמָא עַנְיָא דִי אֲכָלוּ אַבְהָתָנָא בְּאַרְעָא...",
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"body": "<p>Maggid – Beginning</p>\n\n<p>מגיד</p>\n\n<p> <em>Raise the tray with the matzot and say:</em> </p>\n\n<p>הָא לַחְמָא עַנְיָא דִי אֲכָלוּ אַבְהָתָנָא בְּאַרְעָא דְמִצְרָיִם. כָּל דִכְפִין יֵיתֵי וְיֵיכֹל, כָּל דִצְרִיךְ יֵיתֵי וְיִפְסַח. הָשַׁתָּא הָכָא, לְשָׁנָה הַבָּאָה בְּאַרְעָא דְיִשְׂרָאֵל. הָשַׁתָּא עַבְדֵי, לְשָׁנָה הַבָּאָה בְּנֵי חוֹרִין.</p>\n\n<p> <em>Ha lachma anya dee achalu avhatana b'ara d'meetzrayeem. Kol deechfeen yeitei v'yeichol, kol deetzreech yeitei v'yeefsach. Hashata hacha, l'shanah haba-ah b'ara d'yisra-el. Hashata avdei, l'shanah haba-ah b'nei choreen.</em> </p>\n\n<p>This is the bread of affliction, which our ancestors ate in the land of Egypt. Let all who are hungry come and find nourishment. Let all who are in need, come and share this meal, this Passover. Now, we are dreamers; next year, may we bask in our promised lands, wherever they may be. </p>\n\n\n\n<p> <em>Refill the wine cups, but don’t drink yet.</em> </p>",
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"body": "<h2>Who made the world?<br />\nWho made the swan, and the black bear?<br />\nWho made the grasshopper?<br />\nThis grasshopper, I mean-<br />\nthe one who has flung herself out of the grass,<br />\nthe one who is eating sugar out of my hand,<br />\nwho is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down-<br />\nwho is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.<br />\nNow she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.<br />\nNow she snaps her wings open, and floats away.<br />\nI don't know exactly what a prayer is.<br />\nI do know how to pay attention, how to fall down<br />\ninto the grass, how to kneel down in the grass,<br />\nhow to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,<br />\nwhich is what I have been doing all day.<br />\nTell me, what else should I have done?<br />\nDoesn't everything die at last, and too soon?<br />\nTell me, what is it you plan to do<br />\nwith your one wild and precious life?</h2>",
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"body": "<p><span><span>“But turn it around and say it on the other side: in a history of spiritual rupture, a social compact built on fantasy and collective secrets, poetry becomes more necessary than ever: it keeps the underground aquifers flowing; it is the liquid voice that can wear through stone” </span></span></p>",
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"covertext": "Why on Passover do we look backward instead of forward? \t \t \tIf we look forward, how far do we have to look forward to...",
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"body": "<p>In the traditional Haggadah, we begin to tell the story of the Exodus right after the four questions. The four questions notoriously do not get answered in the Haggadah, but in lieu of answers, we encounter a story. It begins: </p>\n\n\n\n<p> <em>Avadim hayinu</em>. We were slaves. </p>\n\n\n\n<p>This is the first line of our story for tonight as well, and possibly for many of the stories that we tell about our lives every day. Whether it's the past, or the present, or the mysteries to come. </p>\n\n\n\n<p>Tonight, instead of telling the story of the Exodus, which we know very well, we will - as long as you're comfortable - create a one-night-only story. This is the story of the promised land, the place to which we are wandering and flying, the place that we dream of no matter what our current circumstances are. It's the dream of what trees we're planting whose fruits we may never eat. In this story, we can hold a lot of contradictions, as we will undoubtedly find in each of our dreams. And often, this is what community is - a place that must hold the contradictions of all of our dreams. Where our own, personal utopias must be enough for us personally and must be held by our community, without any of the othering litmus testings that the Rabbis asserted over various of the children. </p>\n\n\n\n<p>Let's make this a balance of the \"simple\" child's openness and lack of ego, and the \"wise\" child's interest in structures. Let's let the destruction and vengeance against our enemies be in our imagination's past, so we can talk about what there *will be,* and not what - or who - there *won't* be. Instead of saying \"there are no billionaires or monopoly for-profit corporations,\" imagine what would exist instead. Feel free to plagiarize - Star Trek's abolishment of money, for example, is a great dream for the future! </p>\n\n\n\n<p>Questions to keep in mind: </p>\n\n<p>1. What is the place like physically? </p>\n\n<p>2. What structures exist, and why? (What are we taking for granted even in our imaginations?) </p>\n\n<p>3. What are our families and communities like? How are people with each other? </p>\n\n\n\n<p>Has anyone here done round-robin storytelling before? Each person can say one or two sentences, and the next person can add a sentence or two either as a list, like Dayeinu, or building upon what the previous person just said. It's OK to pass, or go out of order, if you have something you want to say later, or immediately right now. </p>\n\n\n\n<p>Let's use this exercise in fiction and fantasy to break some of our usual rules, in order to more fully celebrate what liberation can look like. </p>",
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"covertext": "זֵכֶר לְמִקְדָּשׁ כְּהִלֵּל. כֵּן עָשָׂה הִלֵּל בִּזְמַן שבֵּית הַמִּקְדָּשׁ הָיָה קַיָים: הָיָה כּוֹרֵךְ מַצָּה וּמָרוֹ...",
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"body": "<p style=\"text-align:right;\">זֵכֶר לְמִקְדָּשׁ כְּהִלֵּל. כֵּן עָשָׂה הִלֵּל בִּזְמַן שבֵּית הַמִּקְדָּשׁ הָיָה קַיָים: הָיָה כּוֹרֵךְ מַצָּה וּמָרוֹר וְאוֹכֵל בְּיַחַד, לְקַיֵים מַה שֶׁנֶּאֱמַר: עַל מַצּוֹת וּמְרֹרִים יֹאכְלֻהוּ.</p>\n\n<p>Eating matzah, maror and haroset this way reminds us of how, in the days of the Temple, Hillel would do so, making a sandwich of the Pashal lamb, matzah and maror, in order to observe the law “You shall eat it (the Pesach sacrifice) on matzah and maror.”</p>\n\n<p>We eat this to remember the almost-completely different sandwich that was eaten during the Temple period. It seems strange to eat this paltry sandwich, compared to the (very artisinal sounding) smoked meat and horseradish sandwich that was a product of the sacrificial rites. </p>\n\n<p>And yet, this is an adaptation to a \"new\" ritual, with a nod to an \"old\" ritual, which can show us a little bit more how rituals can be created for our contemporary needs, how we can nod to our past in creating those rituals, and how this can still connect us with our ancestors. As we move forward and lay the groundwork for our futures, how are we creating rituals and patterns that pay homage to certain traditions of our past - whether they're culinary or otherwise? Certainly, food is a way to connect us to our ancestors, most of us remember our grandmother's specialties - those memories are the fruits that they planted, which now we enjoy. </p>\n\n<p>As we eat this odd sandwich, which gives way to our proper meal, let's give thanks for the nurturing, sustaining legacies that can become our new rituals. </p>",
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"body": "<p>Havdallah means “the separation” in Hebrew. It’s here where we recognize that Shabbat is ending, even as Passover continues. We are standing in a liminal space between the double transcendent and the regular holiday transcendent - it's a pretty rare place to be, moving from holy into holy with a ritual that we usually use to move from the holy to the mundane.</p>\n\n<p>bell hooks wrote, “To commit to love is fundamentally to commit to a life beyond dualism. That’s why love is so sacred in a culture of domination, because it simply begins to erode your dualisms.” Havdallah - especially on Passover - is a ritual that erodes dualisms - the things that are separated meet and meld, one kind of holiness becomes another, and together we take these first steps towards our liberation.</p>\n\n<p><strong>בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יי אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, בּוֹרֵא מְאוֹרֵי הָאֵשׁ. בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יי אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם הַמַבְדִיל בֵּין קֹדֶשׁ לְחֹל, ין אוֹר לְחשֶׁךְ, בֵּין יִשְׂרָאֵל לָעַמִּים, בֵּין יוֹם הַשְּׁבִיעִי לְשֵׁשֶׁת יְמֵי הַמַּעֲשֶׂה. בֵּין קְדֻשַּׁת שַׁבָּת לִקְדֻשַּׁת יוֹם טוֹב הִבְדַּלְתָּ, וְאֶת יוֹם הַשְּׁבִיעִי מִשֵּׁשֶׁת יְמֵי הַמַּעֲשֶׂה קִדַּשְׁתָּ. הִבְדַּלְתָּ וְקִדַּשְׁתָּ אֶת עַמְּךָ יִשְׂרָאֵל בִּקְדֻשָּׁתֶךָ. ,בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יי הַמַּבְדִיל בֵּין קֹדֶשׁ לְקֹדֶשׁ</strong></p>\n\n<p> <em>Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha-olam, borei m'orei ha-eish.</em> </p>\n\n<p> <em>Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha’olam, hamavdil bein kodesh l'chol bein or l'choshech, bein Yisrael la-amim, bein yom hashvi-i l'sheishet y'mei hama-aseh. Bein k'dushat shabat likdushat yom tov hivdalta. V'et-yom hashvi-i misheishet y'mei hama-aseh kidashta. Hivdalta v'kidashta et-am'cha yisra-eil bikdushatecha. Baruch atah Adonai, hamavdil bein kodesh l'kodesh.</em> </p>\n\n<p>Praised are You Adonai our God Lord of the universe who created the lights of fire.</p>\n\n<p>Praised are you, Adonai, Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, who makes a distinction between the holy and profane, light and darkness, Israel and the nations, Shabbat and the six workdays. You have made a distinction between the holiness of Shabbat and the holiness of the festival, and You have sanctified Shabbat above the six work-days. You have set apart and made holy Your people Israel with your holiness. Praised are you, Adonai, who distinguishes between degrees of sanctity.</p>",
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"body": "God speaks to each of us as he makes us,<br />\nthen walks with us silently out of the night.<p><br />\nThese are the words we dimly hear:</p>\n\n<p><br />\nYou, sent out beyond your recall,<br />\ngo to the limits of your longing.<br />\nEmbody me.</p>\n\n<p><br />\nFlare up like a flame<br />\nand make big shadows I can move in.</p>\n\n<p><br />\nLet everything happen to you: beauty and terror.<br />\nJust keep going. No feeling is final.<br />\nDon’t let yourself lose me.</p>\n\n<p><br />\nNearby is the country they call life.<br />\nYou will know it by its seriousness.</p>\n\n<p><br />\nGive me your hand.</p>",
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"body": "<p>A drop of water fell on my hand,<br />\ndrawn from the Ganges and the Nile,<br />\n<br />\nfrom hoarfrost ascended to heaven off a seal's whiskers,<br />\nfrom jugs broken in the cities of Ys and Tyre.<br />\n<br />\nOn my index finger<br />\nthe Caspian Sea isn't landlocked,<br />\n<br />\nand the Pacific is the Rudawa's meek tributary,<br />\nthat same stream that floated as a little cloud over Paris<br />\n<br />\nin the year seven hundred and sixty-four<br />\non the seventh of May at three a.m.<br />\n<br />\nThere are not enough mouths to utter<br />\nall your fleeting names, O water.<br />\n<br />\nI would have to name you in every tongue<br />\npronouncing all the vowels at once<br />\n<br />\nwhile also keeping silent–for the sake of the lake<br />\nthat still goes unnamed<br />\n<br />\nand doesn’t exist on this earth, just as the star<br />\nreflected in it is not in the sky.<br />\n<br />\nSomeone was drowning, someone dying was<br />\ncalling out for you. Long ago and, yesterday.<br />\n<br />\nYou have saved houses from fire, you have carried off<br />\nhouses and trees, forests and towns alike.<br />\n<br />\nYou’ve been in christening fonts and courtesan’s baths.<br />\nIn coffin and kisses.<br />\n<br />\nGnawing stone, feeding rainbows,<br />\nIn the sweat and the dew of the pyramids and lilacs.<br />\n<br />\nHow light the raindrop's contents are.<br />\nHow gently the world touches me.<br />\n<br />\nWhenever wherever whatever has happened<br />\nIs written down on the waters of Babel.</p>",
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"body": "<p><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> <em>Commonplace miracle:<br />\nthat so many commonplace miracles happen.</em> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>\n\n<p><span> <em>An ordinary miracle:<br />\nin the dead of night<br />\nthe barking of invisible dogs.</em> </span></p>\n\n<p><span> <em>One miracle out of many:<br />\na small, airy cloud<br />\nyet it can block a large and heavy moon.</em> </span></p>\n\n<p><span> <em>Several miracles in one:<br />\nan alder tree reflected in the water,<br />\nand that it’s backwards left to right<br />\nand that it grows there, crown down<br />\nand never reaches the bottom,<br />\neven though the water is shallow.</em> </span></p>\n\n<p><span> <em>An everyday miracle:<br />\nwinds weak to moderate<br />\nturning gusty in storms.</em> </span></p>\n\n<p><span> <em>First among equal miracles:<br />\ncows are cows.</em> </span></p>\n\n<p><span> <em>Second to none:<br />\njust this orchard<br />\nfrom just that seed.</em> </span></p>\n\n<p><span> <em>A miracle without a cape and top hat:<br />\nscattering white doves.</em> </span></p>\n\n<p><span> <em>A miracle, for what else could you call it:<br />\ntoday the sun rose at three-fourteen<br />\nand will set at eight-o-one.</em> </span></p>\n\n<p><span> <em>A miracle, less surprising than it should be:<br />\neven though the hand has fewer than six fingers,<br />\nit still has more than four.</em> </span></p>\n\n<p><span> <em>A miracle, just take a look around:<br />\nthe world is everywhere.</em> </span></p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span><span> <em>An additional miracle, as everything is additional:<br />\nthe unthinkable<br />\nis thinkable.</em> </span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></span></p>",
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"body": "<p> <em>Take the middle matzah and break it into two, one piece larger than the other.</em> </p>\n\n<p> <em>The larger piece is set aside to serve as Afikoman - which is Greek for \"dessert.\" This is traditionally hidden, sought, found, and held for ransom at the end of the Seder - ransom because the Afikomen is the dessert which must be eaten last, in order to officially end the holiday meal.</em> </p>\n\n<p> <em>The smaller piece is put back, between the two matzot. This smaller piece, along with the top matzah is what will be used for the “Motzi-Matzah” and “Korech”</em> </p>\n\n<p>We haven't even started telling our Passover story yet but at this moment we are creating our dessert, holding up the last thing that we'll eat tonight, and hiding it away from ourselves. There's a lot here - and in this life right now generally - about delayed gratification. Not that matzah is the sexiest dessert, and not that we don't have what to do before we get there. But, here we see that the night will end. We can't rush the process of what's going on around us, but knowing that it will end with this final mouthful is a comfort in its own way. </p>\n\n<p>Yachatz also brings up the age-old and sacred concept of brokenness. We enact a breaking that is mandated. We create unevenness, something that wasn't there before - our dessert - and a promise of a process we begin to experience now through questioning and storytelling. </p>",
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"body": "<p>Tonight, we hold a kind of Seder we've never had before. For most of us, it's a familiar ritual. We have performed it every year, no matter the year. Our ancestors performed the ritual in good times and bad. This year we're not where we usually are for Seder, nor are we with the beloveds we're usually with for this ritual. And yet, we perform the ritual. Individually and together. We take the steps, and we explore the items, stories, and ideas that we explore in this Biblical ritual, this rite of spring. </p>\n\n<p>Agnes Varda said: \"If we opened people up, we'd find landscapes.\" </p>\n\n<p>Tonight, in quarantine, the Seder table - and our own interiorities - are our landscapes. The landscapes are full, lush, strange, and worthy of exploration and questioning.</p>\n\n<p>The Quran (5:32) mirrors Mishna Sanhedrin (4:5) when it says: We decreed upon the children of Israel that whoever kills a soul... it is as if he had slain the whole world, and whoever saves one - it's as if he saved all mankind. Each of us is a world, is a society, is a landscape. And tonight, we gather around us what we can - each item or its approximation for ritual purposes is the thing, and also any number of metaphors. Each item we gather to ourselves is a part of our landscape, of our whole world - full of all the beautiful and terrible things we find in life.</p>\n\n<p>We will explore the Pesach, Matzah, and Maror - and our other additions to the Seder plate - later in the Seder, as is tradition, this early moment of gathering and creating our ritual landscapes brings us to the recitation of the Order of the Seder.</p>",
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"body": "<p>Lucky life isn't one long string of horrors<br />\nand there are moments of peace, and pleasure, as I lie in between the blows.<br />\nLucky I don't have to wake up in Phillipsburg, New Jersey,<br />\non the hill overlooking Union Square or the hill overlooking<br />\nKuebler Brewery or the hill overlooking SS. Philip and James<br />\nbut have my own hills and my own vistas to come back to.</p>\n\n<p>Each year I go down to the island I add<br />\none more year to the darkness;<br />\nand though I sit up with my dear friends<br />\ntrying to separate the one year from the other,<br />\nthis one from the last, that one from the former,<br />\nanother from another,<br />\nafter a while they all get lumped together,<br />\nthe year we walked to Holgate,<br />\nthe year our shoes got washed away,<br />\nthe year it rained,<br />\nthe year my tooth brought misery to us all.</p>\n\n<p>This year was a crisis. I knew it when we pulled<br />\nthe car onto the sand and looked for the key.<br />\nI knew it when we walked up the outside steps<br />\nand opened the hot icebox and began the struggle<br />\nwith swollen drawers and I knew it when we laid out<br />\nthe sheets and separated the clothes into piles<br />\nand I knew it when we made our first rush onto<br />\nthe beach and I knew it when we finally sat<br />\non the porch with coffee cups shaking in our hands.</p>\n\n<p>My dream is I'm walking through Phillipsburg, New Jersey,<br />\nand I'm lost on South Main Street. I am trying to tell,<br />\nby memory, which statue of Christopher Columbus<br />\nI have to look for, the one with him slumped over<br />\nand lost in weariness or the one with him<br />\nvaguely guiding the way with a cross and globe in<br />\none hand and a compass in the other.<br />\nMy dream is I'm in the Eagle Hotel on Chamber Street<br />\nsitting at the oak bar, listening to two<br />\nobese veterans discussing Hawaii in 1942,<br />\nand reading the funny signs over the bottles.<br />\nMy dream is I sleep upstairs over the honey locust<br />\nand sit on the side porch overlooking the stone culvert<br />\nwith a whole new set of friends, mostly old and humorless.</p>\n\n<p>Dear waves, what will you do for me this year?<br />\nWill you drown out my scream?<br />\nWill you let me rise through the fog?<br />\nWill you fill me with that old salt feeling?<br />\nWill you let me take my long steps in the cold sand?<br />\nWill you let me lie on the white bedspread and study<br />\nthe black clouds with the blue holes in them?<br />\nWill you let me see the rusty trees and the old monoplanes one more year?<br />\nWill you still let me draw my sacred figures<br />\nand move the kites and the birds around with my dark mind?</p>\n\n<p>Lucky life is like this. Lucky there is an ocean to come to.<br />\nLucky you can judge yourself in this water.<br />\nLucky you can be purified over and over again.<br />\nLucky there is the same cleanliness for everyone.<br />\nLucky life is like that. Lucky life. Oh lucky life.<br />\nOh lucky lucky life. Lucky life.</p>",
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"body": "<p>Passover is an exercise in collective optimism, which is another word for faith. Faith is not necessarily the same thing as believing in a God with a muscular arm and outstretched fingers. Faith can be a commitment to the unprovable proposition that it’s worth the struggle to cross the next impossible barrier, to seek meaning in our lives, to try, try again and do justly and build another peace. We raise the cup, we rephrase our enslavement and liberation, we sing, turning disaster into dramaturgy. – Anita Diamant</p>",
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"body": "<p>The Matza is our bread of paradox: It’s a poverty staple and our first taste of freedom, our worst memories and wildest hopes—all in one bite. As we raise this Matza, let’s consider: Where do we feel the paradox of constriction and liberation in our realities right now? How are we making due with what we can manage, even if it isn't perfect? And, what does it mean to have a ritual which elevates that? </p>",
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"body": "<p>The difficulty is when we attribute the plagues to God. I think that’s a really slippery slope. When we start attributing modern plagues to God — ‘God caused the earthquake, God caused the virus.’ No. Animal contact and biology caused the plague. And our ability to get it in check will also be the brilliance of human minds and research and people in countries working together.</p>\n\n<p>God is our ability to heal — our ability to still be connected, still stand up and breathe. We have to be careful not to call it a plague or frame it as a plague. Though we feel it like a plague, I can’t believe this is God-given. God isn’t striking anybody. God is holding us up.</p>",
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"covertext": "XVIII \"I would like to step out of my heart's door and be Under the great sky.\" I would like to step out And be on the...",
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"body": "<p>XVIII</p>\n\n<p>\"I would like to step out of my heart's door and be </p>\n\n<p>Under the great sky.\" I would like to step out </p>\n\n<p>And be on the other side, and be part of it all</p>\n\n<p>That surrounds me. I would like to be</p>\n\n<p>In that solitude of soundless things, in the random </p>\n\n<p>Company of the wind, to be weightless, nameless.</p>\n\n<p>But not for long, for I would be downcast without</p>\n\n<p>The things I keep inside my heart; and in no time</p>\n\n<p>I would be back. Ah! the old heart </p>\n\n<p>In which I sleep, in which my sleep increases, in which</p>\n\n<p>My grief is ponderous, in which the leaves are falling </p>\n\n<p>In which the streets are long, in which the night </p>\n\n<p>Is dark, in which the sky is great, the old heart </p>\n\n<p>That murmurs to me of what cannot go on, </p>\n\n<p>Of the dancing, of the inmost dancing. </p>",
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"covertext": "1 A psalm of David. God is my shepherd; I shall not want. 2 He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me to water...",
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"body": "<p>1 A psalm of David. God is my shepherd; I shall not want.</p>\n\n<p>2 He makes me lie down in green pastures; He leads me to water in places of repose;</p>\n\n<p>3 He renews my life; He guides me in right paths as befits His name.</p>\n\n<p>4 Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff—they comfort me.</p>\n\n<p>5 You spread a table for me in full view of my enemies; You anoint my head with oil; my drink is abundant.</p>\n\n<p>6 Only goodness and lovingkindness shall follow me all the days of my life, and I shall dwell in the house of the divine forever.</p>",
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"body": "<p>The courage to let go of the door, the handle.<br />\nThe courage to shed the familiar walls whose very<br />\nstains and leaks are comfortable as the little moles<br />\nof the upper arm; stains that recall a feast,<br />\na child’s naughtiness, a loud blattering storm<br />\nthat slapped the roof hard, pouring through.<br />\nThe courage to abandon the graves dug into the hill,<br />\nthe small bones of children and the brittle bones<br />\nof the old whose marrow hunger had stolen;<br />\nthe courage to desert the tree planted and only<br />\nbegun to bear; the riverside where promises were<br />\nshaped; the street where their empty pots were broken.<br />\nThe courage to leave the place whose language you learned<br />\nas early as your own, whose customs however dan-<br />\ngerous or demeaning, bind you like a halter<br />\nyou have learned to pull inside, to move your load;<br />\nthe land fertile with the blood spilled on it;<br />\nthe roads mapped and annotated for survival.<br />\nThe courage to walk out of the pain that is known<br />\ninto the pain that cannot be imagined,<br />\nmapless, walking into the wilderness, going<br />\nbarefoot with a canteen into the desert;<br />\nstuffed in the stinking hold of a rotting ship<br />\nsailing off the map into dragons’ mouths,<br />\nCathay, India, Siberia, goldeneh medina<br />\nleaving bodies by the way like abandoned treasure.<br />\nSo they walked out of Egypt. So they bribed their way<br />\nout of Russia under loads of straw; so they steamed<br />\nout of the bloody smoking charnelhouse of Europe<br />\non overloaded freighters forbidden all ports—<br />\nout of pain into death or freedom or a different<br />\npainful dignity, into squalor and politics.<br />\nWe Jews are all born of wanderers, with shoes<br />\nunder our pillows and a memory of blood that is ours<br />\nraining down. We honor only those Jews who changed<br />\ntonight, those who chose the desert over bondage,<br />\nwho walked into the strange and became strangers<br />\nand gave birth to children who could look down<br />\non them standing on their shoulders for having<br />\nbeen slaves. We honor those who let go of every-<br />\nthing but freedom, who ran, who revolted, who fought,<br />\nwho became other by saving themselves.</p>",
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"covertext": "But before we experience it we have to do a lot of work to get there. We have to do weird things, recite weird incantati...",
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"body": "\n\n<p>But before we experience it we have to do a lot of work to get there. We have to do weird things, recite weird incantations, and relive the struggles that our story's heroes had to endure in order to move on to the next cycle of struggle and success. We tell ourselves -- as we have been doing -- that the struggle is temporary. If we keep holding on we will get through this.</p>\n\n<p>As we sit down to this Seder it's impossible to ignore that this is our *second annual* Zoom Seder. </p>\n\n<p>But we will make it to dinner, to our collective liberation.</p>\n\n<p>But before that, there's much to be done along the way and so again we are asked to be patient. But as consolation, we will pepper our patience with the stories of remarkable actions taken throughout the Exodus story that show how much truly needs to be done during times of patience in order to achieve liberation. There is no waiting -- acting for freedom is the only way to achieve freedom -- and it takes everyone, from every background and strata of society, to each take their own actions to bring about exodus. </p>\n\n\n\n\n\n<p>“Look Long” grapples lovingly and melodically with politics and culture including realms like gun violence in America, gender identity, the paradox of love and loss and good ‘old southern living.</p>\n\n<p>Saliers describes the source of the latest Indigo Girls lyrics; “There is this sense of social unease that I’ve been feeling a long time, but particularly after the presidential election (2016). The song ‘Look Long’ is about perspective and long term thinking because the social problems of access to healthcare, food, resources and political voice; these are problems that we’ve had forever and most of the world has had for ever and ever, since we were human colonies with governments and colonizers. Those are the results of systemic problems.”</p>\n\n\n\n<p>That song is about a paradigm of long-term vision in order to get back to a sense of, ‘OK, we’re at least working towards equity and fighting racism inwardly and outwardly.’ It’s a song about perspective.”</p>",
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"body": "<p>As we sit down to this Seder it's impossible to ignore that this is our *second annual* Zoom Seder. In the time between last Seder and this Seder, our beloved planet has lost more than two and a half million people to a virus which has laid bare so many of the difficulties, discriminatory structures, and pressure points in our world and its economies and varied governments. Even with movements for justice around the world continuing and taking on even more and new missions during this time, our grief cannot be ignored. </p>\n\n<p>It is difficult to embark on an ultimately celebratory holiday ritual without recognizing this. We cannot ever be asked or ask each other to leave our grief at the door. If anything has become clear over the last year it's that our grief accompanies us wherever we go -- and if we've only learned this in the last year let us reflect on how even that is a sign of privilege. </p>\n\n<p>Like anything, grief can be a powerful tool, a (terrible) lesson in empathy, perhaps even a call to action. </p>\n\n<p>And so this year it feels appropriate to set aside some time for our grief. Whether we need to name it and set it aside or use it as a guide through this evening's ritual, or something completely else -- grief is nothing if not individualized and mysterious -- let us give it the respect it deserves. </p>\n\n<p>The Mourners' Kaddish has been said for centuries by the living on behalf of the dead in which the dead and death are not mentioned even once. It is a prayer for divinity and for peace. </p>\n\n<p>While many only say the Mourner's Kaddish when they are ritually and personally in mourning, the ritual has been claimed by many to recognize the ways that grief lives in our everyday lives, so if you are moved to, please feel free. Let's take a moment to collect, quietly and individually, the things that we are mourning. Feel free to type these things into the chat. </p>\n\n<p style=\"text-align:right;\"><strong>יִתְגַּדַּל וְיִתְקַדַּשׁ שְׁמֵהּ רַבָּא. [ <em><small>קהל:</small></em> אמן]<br />\nבְּעָלְמָא דִּי בְרָא כִרְעוּתֵהּ וְיַמְלִיךְ מַלְכוּתֵהּ בְּחַיֵּיכון וּבְיומֵיכון וּבְחַיֵּי דְכָל בֵּית יִשרָאֵל בַּעֲגָלָא וּבִזְמַן קָרִיב, וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן: [ <em><small>קהל:</small></em> אמן]<br />\n <em><small>קהל ואבל:</small></em> יְהֵא שְׁמֵהּ רַבָּא מְבָרַךְ לְעָלַם וּלְעָלְמֵי עָלְמַיָּא:<br />\n <em><small>אבל:</small></em> יִתְבָּרַךְ וְיִשְׁתַּבַּח וְיִתְפָּאַר וְיִתְרומַם וְיִתְנַשּא וְיִתְהַדָּר וְיִתְעַלֶּה וְיִתְהַלָּל שְׁמֵהּ דְּקֻדְשָׁא. בְּרִיךְ הוּא. [ <em><small>קהל:</small></em> בריך הוא:]<br />\nלְעֵלָּא מִן כָּל בִּרְכָתָא <em><small>בעשי”ת: לְעֵלָּא לְעֵלָּא מִכָּל</small></em> וְשִׁירָתָא תֻּשְׁבְּחָתָא וְנֶחֱמָתָא דַּאֲמִירָן בְּעָלְמָא. וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן: [ <em><small>קהל:</small></em> אמן]<br />\nיְהֵא שְׁלָמָא רַבָּא מִן שְׁמַיָּא וְחַיִּים עָלֵינוּ וְעַל כָּל יִשרָאֵל. וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן: [ <em><small>קהל:</small></em> אמן]<br />\nעושה שָׁלום <em><small>בעשי”ת: הַשָּׁלום</small></em> בִּמְרומָיו הוּא יַעֲשה שָׁלום עָלֵינוּ וְעַל כָּל יִשרָאֵל וְאִמְרוּ אָמֵן: [ <em><small>קהל:</small></em> אמן]</strong></p>\n\n\n\n<p>Translation (by Lab/Shul): </p>\n\n<p>May our lives reflect the greatness of divine mystery everywhere, sparks within the process of creation </p>\n\n<p>May the world be ruled by our highest aspirations, soon, in our lifetimes, and so we say: Amen </p>\n\n<p>May the divine be known as a fountain of blessings: praised, honored, beautified, elevated, and exalted beyond any song or description that has ever been honored, and so we say: Amen </p>\n\n<p>May an all-embracing peace shower down from the heavens refreshing the lives of all beings on earth. </p>\n\n<p>May the source of peace inspire us to find and create peace for ourselves and for our community and for all beings on earth, and so we say: Amen</p>",
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"covertext": "Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech haolam, shehecheyanu, v'kiy'manu, v'higianu laz'man hazeh. It is such a blessing th...",
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"body": "<p><img src=\"https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/WG1NknVRQC54KAjxofbJYHv3Ia1yHaRTH2ByK4aiGssydhDPEV_Q_DW4rWln3vMWQv5B6Fxjr5zoj34vDj_89SJVbWLdSlhlQ-uI3H48XJ-L49HUKwrYEaLZptYhPN4Vmvy9v95z\" alt=\"WG1NknVRQC54KAjxofbJYHv3Ia1yHaRTH2ByK4aiGssydhDPEV_Q_DW4rWln3vMWQv5B6Fxjr5zoj34vDj_89SJVbWLdSlhlQ-uI3H48XJ-L49HUKwrYEaLZptYhPN4Vmvy9v95z\" /></p>\n\n<p> <em>Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu Melech haolam, shehecheyanu, v'kiy'manu, v'higianu laz'man hazeh.</em> </p>\n\n<p>It is such a blessing that we live and are uplifted, that we are sustained by this world, and that we found our way here, for this moment.</p>\n\n<p>Amen</p>",
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"covertext": "בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יי אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הַגָפֶן Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha’olam, borei...",
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"body": "<p style=\"text-align:right;\"><strong>בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה יי אֱלֹהֵינוּ מֶלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם בּוֹרֵא פְּרִי הַגָפֶן</strong></p>\n\n<p> <em>Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha’olam, borei p'ri hagafen.</em> </p>\n\n<p>Praised are you, Adonai, Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, who has created the fruit of the vine.</p>\n\n<p>בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה, יְיָ אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ, מֶֽלֶךְ הָעוֹלָם, אֲשֶׁר בָּֽחַר בָּֽנוּ מִכׇּל עָם וְרוֹמְמָֽנוּ מִכׇּל לָשׁוֹן, וְקִדְּשָֽׁנוּ בְּמִצְוֺתָיו.</p>\n\n<p>וַתִּֽתֶּן לָֽנוּ, יְיָ אֱלֹהֵֽינוּ, בְּאַהֲבָה מוֹעֲדִים לְשִׂמְחָה, חַגִּים וּזְמַנִּים לְשָׂשׂוֹן, אֶת יוֹם חַג הַמַּצּוֹת הַזֶּה, זְמַן חֵרוּתֵֽנוּ, מִקְרָא קֹֽדֶשׁ, זֵֽכֶר לִיצִיאַת מִצְרָֽיִם.</p>\n\n<p>כִּי בָֽנוּ בָחַֽרְתָּ וְאוֹתָֽנוּ קִדַּֽשְׁתָּ מִכׇּל הָעַמִּים וּמוֹעֲדֵי קׇדְשְׁךָ בְּשִׂמְחָה וּבְשָׂשׂוֹן הִנְחַלְתָּֽנוּ.</p>\n\n<p>בָּרוּךְ אַתָּה, יְיָ, מְקַדֵּשׁ יִשְׂרָאֵל וְהַזְּמַנִּים.</p>\n\n<p> <em>Baruch atah Adonai, Eloheinu melech ha’olam, asher bachar banu mikol’am, v'rom'manu mikol-lashon, v'kid'shanu b'mitzvotav, vatiten-lanu Adonai Eloheinu b'ahavah (shabatot limnuchah u) moadim l'simchah, chagim uz'manim l'sason et-yom (hashabat hazeh v'et-yom) chag hamatzot hazeh. Z'man cheiruteinu, (b'ahavah,) mikra kodesh, zeicher litziat mitzrayim. Ki vanu vacharta v'otanu kidashta mikol ha’amim. (v'shabat) umo’adei kod’shecha (b'ahavah uv'ratzon) b'simchah uv'sason hinchaltanu. Baruch atah Adonai, m'kadeish (h’shabbat v') Yisrael v'hazmanim.</em> </p>\n\n<p>Praised are you, Adonai, Lord our God, Ruler of the universe, Who has chosen us from among all people, and languages, and made us holy through Your mitzvot, giving us lovingly [Shabbat for rest] festivals for joy, and special times for celebration, this [Shabbat and this] Passover, this [given in love] this sacred gathering to commemorate the Exodus from Egypt. You have chosen us, You have shared Your holiness with us among all other peoples. For with [Shabbat and] festive revelations of Your holiness, happiness and joy You have granted us [lovingly] joyfully the holidays. Praised are you, Adonai, Who sanctifies [Shabbat], Israel and the festivals.</p>",
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"body": "<p>During Urchatz we wade into the waters, quietly. This first of a double action in the Seder -- we will wash again soon -- calls up the Exodus story's many mentions of water. </p>\n\n<p>What holds in its story the sending, sneakily and quietly, a child floating down a river will lead in time to the crossing of a whole sea. </p>\n\n<p>In this part of the story in Exodus, Moses has cried out to God for help, and God's response is basically \"I told you to keep going -- keep going\" -- as though the people were expected to just continue into the sea as though they were still walking on land, but who can do that? </p>\n\n<p>In the story from Midrash (a collection of supplementary stories that seek to fill in blanks like this in the narrative), everyone is standing around arguing about who should be the first ones in. Tired of the arguments, our character Nachshon ben Aminadav just jumps right in. Midrash attributes two lines of a Psalm to him: </p>\n\n<p>Psalm 69:2-3</p>\n\n<p>Rescue me, God,<br />\n for the waters have come up to my neck<br />\nI have sunk in the slime of the deep,<br />\n and there is no place to stand.<br />\nI have entered the watery depths,<br />\n and the current has swept me away. <br />\n...</p>\n\n<p>Nachshon is named once in Exodus and 4 times in Numbers, and again in the Book of Ruth, but nothing is told of him. What is made clear is that his place in history is clear -- he is a prince, he falls halfway through the family line between Judah and David, making him an essential part of the stories of power in the Hebrew Bible. </p>\n\n<p>Nachshon teaches us many things about acting on faith, taking risks, acting while others are only talking. This story and the time where it comes in the Exodus story shows that even once the rule of the tyrant has been escaped there needs and struggles and reasons to continue doing all the things that Nachshon did arise immediately -- is the escape ever actually over? Here, the matzah has been hurriedly made, the plagues have been survived, and someone still needs to take a stand to move forward the cause of collective liberation. </p>",
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"body": "<p>Breaking is essential to, in this case, turning a piece of Matzah into dessert. It's also essential to the story of our liberation -- Shifra and Puah weren't the only ones breaking rules.</p>\n\n<p>Moshe, whose upbringing was palace-level privileged, watched a taskmaster breaking the body and spirit of an enslaved person while touring the work sites of the city. He looked all around, and he killed the taskmaster. We're told that the enslaved were treated in a way Tanach calls \"b'farech,\" with the intent to inflict pain -- in so many words, the cruelty was the point. </p>\n\n<p>In that moment of breaking, Moshe became a traitor to his own privilege, carefully and with open eyes.</p>\n\n<p>Stokely Carmichael said: \"Dr. King’s policy was, if you are nonviolent, if you suffer, your opponent will see your suffering and will be moved to change his heart. That’s very good. He only made one fallacious assumption. In order for nonviolence to work, your opponent must have a conscience. The United States has none.\" Pharoh also, in our story, is described multiple times as hard-hearted. </p>\n\n<p>Can we call Moshe's act a righteous murder? Violence is essential to this story -- later in his life, Moshe outlawed killing in the Ten Commandments, but when we see mistreatment with the intention to harm, how might we find courage to look around, then act as traitors for justice? How can we channel our anger in ways that allow others to know us for our values, and how might those actions change us, or allow us to become fully ourselves, as in the case of Moshe?</p>",
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"covertext": "Dayeinu lists the following: Had He brought us out of Egypt Had He executed judgments against the Egyptians Had He exec...",
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"body": "<p>Dayeinu lists the following: </p>\n\n<p>Had He brought us out of Egypt</p>\n\n<p>Had He executed judgments against the Egyptians</p>\n\n<p>Had He executed judgments against their gods </p>\n\n<p>Had He put to death their firstborn</p>\n\n<p>Had He given us their riches</p>\n\n<p>Had He split the Sea for us</p>\n\n<p>Had He led us through it on dry land</p>\n\n<p>Had He sunk our foes in it</p>\n\n<p>Had He satisfied our needs in the desert for forty years</p>\n\n<p>Had He fed us the manna</p>\n\n<p>Had He given us the Sabbath</p>\n\n<p>Had He brought us to Mount Sinai</p>\n\n<p>Had He given us the Torah</p>\n\n<p>Had He brought us into C'na'an </p>\n\n<p>.</p>\n\n<p>Ultimately, and factually, would each one of these have been enough to create the communities and traditions that have brought us together for a Seder right now? What if the Biblical divine had challenged the other gods but not anything else? Or had brought us across the sea but not drowned our pursuers? </p>\n\n\n\n<p>Each of the things on this list are just a list of headlines, basically, serving immediate communal needs -- what are our immediate needs? What must we demand in order to ensure that those who come after us will gather to celebrate their liberation? </p>",
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"body": "<p>It's clear in the Seder and in Exodus that the plagues were one element on a long list of tactics brought against the Mitzrim in order to ensure the liberation of the enslaved. But this year, especially, we see that everyone who lived through those plagues suffered together. We see the ways that extended and broad-scale catastrophe can illuminate the injustices of those suffering. Even now in the strata of our society, we see how our pandemic has exacerbated injustice and so inspired liberation movements -- while those in the ruling classes stiffen their necks, as Pharoh did. </p>\n\n\n\n<p>We don't know how long the plagues lasted. \"The Ten Commandments\" shows each plague taking place essentially in one day, but what if it had been, say, a year -- how would the timeline of ten whole plagues change how we think about the Exodus story? </p>\n\n\n\n<p>And, a helpful reminder from Rabbi Jeffrey Sirkman, whose words we read last year when our pandemic was still so young: </p>\n\n<p>The difficulty is when we attribute the plagues to God. I think that’s a really slippery slope. When we start attributing modern plagues to God — ‘God caused the earthquake, God caused the virus.’ No. Animal contact and biology caused the plague. And our ability to get it in check will also be the brilliance of human minds and research and people in countries working together.</p>\n\n<p>God is our ability to heal — our ability to still be connected, still stand up and breathe. We have to be careful not to call it a plague or frame it as a plague. Though we feel it like a plague, I can’t believe this is God-given. God isn’t striking anybody. God is holding us up.</p>",
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"body": "<p>Avigayil Halpern wrote:</p>\n\n<p>In a stunning<a href=\"https://email.mg2.substack.com/c/eJwlkMtuxCAMRb8mLCOeeSxYTFXNqstWVVcRASeDSh4iZtL8fclEso1ksC_3WIMwLvHQ67IhOUuHxwp6hn0LgAiRpA1i551WvG6EkMRp6VijGuK3bogAk_FBY0xA1tQHbw36ZT4HBKWcc_LQqur7hjPLBqmgdbQSTtmeMscEM9yYS9ck52G2oOEJ8VhmIEE_ENetELeC33Ps-14eS8LUQ2mX6ewYtI9C3J-FeP9-u00_H2r7bL-I1zxrU0br8wuClrxkXNatZVYOwFs3VOVO9-nP2qOQdBp5uaV-Q2N_z80k6uARA5joIeQH42nydZM9dvmc0uzx6GA2fQB32ccL4gtIN8IMMcN1nUHNKskU5zmFai-3mY-sat5kqiRLuyVPzdo8_WgOH_4BIY6IjA\"> Senior Sermon</a>, my friend Rabbi Mary Brett Koplen... points out that in the verses about the Plague of the Firstborn, the Torah makes visible a figure we would otherwise not have noticed.</p>\n\n<blockquote>\n<p>וַיֹּאמֶר מֹשֶׁה כֹּה אָמַר ה כַּחֲצֹת הַלַּיְלָה אֲנִי יוֹצֵא בְּתוֹךְ מִצְרָיִם׃ וּמֵת כׇּל־בְּכוֹר בְּאֶרֶץ מִצְרַיִם מִבְּכוֹר פַּרְעֹה הַיֹּשֵׁב עַל־כִּסְאוֹ עַד בְּכוֹר הַשִּׁפְחָה אֲשֶׁר אַחַר הָרֵחָיִם וְכֹל בְּכוֹר בְּהֵמָה׃</p>\n\n<p>Moses said, “Thus says the LORD: Toward midnight I will go forth among the Egyptians, and every first-born in the land of Egypt shall die, from the first-born of Pharaoh who sits on his throne to the first-born of the slave girl who is behind the millstones; and all the first-born of the cattle.”</p>\n</blockquote>\n\n<p>Koplen moves our focus to the enslaved Egyptian woman “who is behind the millstones.” She points out that this woman, like the Israelites, was marginalized and enslaved in Egypt.</p>\n\n<blockquote>\n<p>If we ever thought we were the only slaves in Egypt, if we ever thought we were the only people who have ever suffered unjustly, Exodus 11:5 comes to teach us gently, we were wrong...</p>\n</blockquote>\n\n\n\n\n\n<p>What can we gather from the text's need to separate Hebrew slaves from other slaves, and at the same time to tell us that the other slaves suffered along with those who were deemed to be worthy of that suffering? </p>\n\n\n\n<p>We also have other mentions in the Exodus story of the \"Eirev Rav,\" which has been translated as the \"mixed multitude\" of people who left Egypt along with the Hebrews (Exod 12:38). Several scholars have identified this group as either Egyptian slaves, or descendents and community members who created families with Hebrews but were not themselves Hebrews. Were these the same people? Were they moved to join in the Exodus even after their first born children were killed in the plague? How closely tied are grief and solidarity? </p>",
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"body": "<p>Since Rosh Hashanah 5782 we've been talking about how this year is a Shmita year. We've been talking about rest, renewal, and ways to let certain parts of our lives be fallow this year, abolish certain debts, and re-connect with the more natural state of things. </p>\n\n<p>Just as the story of creation describes working for six days and resting on the seventh, the Shmita year is one of rest. Debts are to be forgiven, agricultural lands to lie fallow, private landholdings to become open to the commons, and staples such as food storage and perennial harvests to be freely redistributed and accessible to all.</p>\n\n<p>How can we seek liberation through this lens of rest, through the lens of forgiven debts, redistribution of resources, and of letting go. </p>",
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"body": "<p>So, first of all, the four children appear in the Jerusalem Talmud, where Rabbi Hyyia, a student of Rabbi Judah the Prince, is quoted as bringing this parable. Hyyia's text varies quite a bit from the text we know today: for one, the simple child is not \"simple\" but stupid. But it is Rabbis at the time of the collection of the Mishnah and Talmud who are creating this rubric. And so we proceed:</p>\n\n<p>The \"Wise\" Child asks about the rules and commandments that govern the Seder, and receives a full explanation of the details. This child looks to the future with the rules in mind, seeking to understand how to navigate the structures that life necessitates, without wondering where the structures came from. Looking toward the future, this child is perhaps considered savvy especially given the response, which is ... simple, impersonal. What can rules give us and what can they take away? How are details and structures comforting? What did the Rabbis mean to call this child wise? </p>\n\n<p>The \"Wicked\" Child asks their interlocutor what Passover means to them. The implied separation of \"you\" from \"I\" in this question seems to be what incurs wrath and the declaration that this child would not have been among those saved because of their lack of collective self-identity. Do we get to be arbiters of who would have been saved and who would not? Isn't it true that we each experience Passover differently? Is gleaning information from someone in a position of authority not a way to determine what one's opinions are? Isn't it a night of questions and individual experiences? This child looks to the future, perhaps, with good boundaries and an understanding of self as unique. What do we gain by othering this child in our midst? </p>\n\n<p><br />\nThe \"Simple\" Child looks to the future, totally baffled. What does it all mean?! What the fuck is going on? This child has an open demeanor. What's being asked isn't actually that different from the \"wicked\" child: the only difference is the absence of \"to you.\" But it's clearly enough to not ping that reminder of individuality that made the Rabbis so mad with the wicked child. Instead, a question asked with less perceived ego is met with a more tolerant answer. By implying that this ritual is simply confounding - something we can probably all agree on - this child is given help and offered understanding. This child is looking for the bigger picture, unlike the \"wise\" child who's looking for the minutiae; and assuming they're sharing experiences with those around them, unlike the \"wicked\" child who's exercising boundaries.</p>\n\n<p>The Child \"Who Does Not Know How to Ask\" is present but silent - looking to the future in a way that's totally mysterious. We might try to assume from silence: carelessness, paralysis, contempt, daydreaming, genius even. The rabbis use \"this is because of what god did for me\" here - it's the same othering and dividing language as we saw with the \"wicked\" child, who doesn't get to be included in our collective. Not super merciful? What would have happened if the Rabbis had asked this child a question? Have there been times when we've assumed something that can't be proven when we encounter someone's silence?</p>\n\n<p><span><span><span><span><span><span>Some things to think about re: the children and Shmita: at a time when people are released from their debts, how can we think about releasing the stories that we tell about the people we know – including ourselves. How do we tell other people about who they are instead of approaching them with curiosity, as evolving creatures? How are the stories we tell children about themselves – or the stories others told us when we were children about who we are – limiting, or entrenched to the point where we can’t remember why we hold on to them? How can we take this opportunity of renewal to re-define our rubrics of understanding others and ourselves? </span></span></span></span></span></span></p>",
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"body": "<p>The songs we join in</p>\n\n<p>are beeswax candles</p>\n\n<p>burning with no smoke</p>\n\n<p>a clean fire licking at the evening</p>\n\n<p>our voices small flames quivering.</p>\n\n<p>The songs string us like beads</p>\n\n<p>on the hour. The ritual is</p>\n\n<p>its own melody that leads us</p>\n\n<p>where we have gone before</p>\n\n<p>and hope to go again, the comfort</p>\n\n<p>of year after year. Order:</p>\n\n<p>we must touch each base</p>\n\n<p>of the haggadah as we pass,</p>\n\n<p>blessing, handwashing,</p>\n\n<p>dipping this and that. Voices</p>\n\n<p>half harmonize on the brukhahs.</p>\n\n<p>Dear faces like a multitude</p>\n\n<p>of moons hang over the table</p>\n\n<p>and the truest brief blessing:</p>\n\n<p>affection and peace that we make.</p>",
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"covertext": "At the heart of Nhat Hanh's teachings is the idea that \"understanding is love's other name\" - that to love another means...",
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"body": "<p>At the heart of Nhat Hanh's teachings is the idea that \"understanding is love's other name\" - that to love another means to fully understand his or her suffering. (\"Suffering\" sounds rather dramatic, but in Buddhism it refers to any source of profound dissatisfaction - be it physical or psychoemotional or spiritual.)</p>\n\n<p>Real, truthful love, he argued, is rooted in four elements - loving kindness, compassion, joy, and equanimity - fostering which lends love \"the element of holiness.\" The first of them addresses this dialogic relationship between our own suffering and our capacity to fully understand our loved ones: The essence of loving kindness is being able to offer happiness. You can be the sunshine for another person.</p>\n\n<p>You can't offer happiness until you have it for yourself. So build a home inside by accepting yourself and learning to love and heal yourself. Leam how to practice mindfulness in such a way that you can create moments of happiness and joy for your own nourishment. Then you have something to offer the other person.</p>\n\n<p>This interrelatedness of self and other is manifested in the fourth element as well, equanimity, the Sanskrit word for which - upeksha - is also translated as \"inclusiveness\" and \"nondiscrimination.\"</p>\n\n<p>In a deep relationship, there's no longer a boundary between you and the other person. You are her and she is you. Your suffering is her suffering. Your understanding of your own suffering helps your loved one to suffer less. Suffering and happiness are no longer individual matters. What happens to your loved one happens to you. What happens to you happens to your loved one.</p>\n\n<p>...</p>\n\n<p>When you love someone, you should have the capacity to bring relief and help him to suffer less. This is an art. If you don't understand the roots of his suffering, you can't help, just as a doctor can't help heal your illness if she doesn't know the cause. You need to understand the cause of your loved one's suffering in order to help bring relief.</p>\n\n<p>...</p>\n\n<p>The more you understand, the more you love; the more you love, the more you understand. They are two sides of one reality. The mind of love and the mind of understanding are the same.</p>",
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"handle": "a-prayer-for-peace",
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"body": "<p>The following is a Prayer for Peace that is traditionally included in the Shabbat (Sabbath) service. May these words come true:</p>\n\n\n\n<p>May we see the day when war and bloodshed cease</p>\n\n<p>when a great peace will embrace the whole world</p>\n\n<p>Then nation shall not threaten nation</p>\n\n<p>and humankind will not again know war.</p>\n\n<p>For all who live on earth shall realize</p>\n\n<p>we have not come into being to hate or destroy</p>\n\n<p>We have come into being</p>\n\n<p>to praise, to labour and to love.</p>\n\n<p>Compassionate G-d, bless all ...</p>\n\n<p>with the power of compassion.</p>\n\n<p>Fulfill the promise conveyed in Scripture:</p>\n\n<p>\"I will bring peace to the land,</p>\n\n<p>and you shall lie down and no one shall terrify you.</p>\n\n<p>I will rid the land of vicious beasts</p>\n\n<p>and it shall not be ravaged by war.\"</p>\n\n<p>Let love and justice flow like a mighty stream.</p>\n\n<p>Let peace fill the earth as the waters fill the sea</p>\n\n<p>And let us say: Amen</p>",
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"body": "<p>\"I have concluded that one way to pay tribute to those we loved who struggled,</p><p>resisted and died is to hold on to their vision and their fierce outrage at the</p><p>destruction of the ordinary life of their people. It is this outrage we need to keep</p><p>alive in our daily life and apply to all situations, whether they involve Jews or non-</p><p>Jews. It Is this outrage we must use to fuel our actions and vision whenever we see</p><p>any signs of the disruptions of common life: the hysteria of a mother grieving for</p><p>the teenager who has been shot, a family stunned in front of a vandalized or</p><p>demolished home; a tamily separated, displaced; arbitrary and unjust laws that</p><p>demand the closing or opening of shops and schools; humiliation of a people</p><p>whose culture is alien and deemed inferior; a people left homeless without</p><p>citizenship; a people living under military rule. Because of our experience, we</p><p>recognize these evils as obstacles to peace. At those moments of recognition, we</p><p>remember the past, feel the outrage that inspired Jews of the Warsaw Ghetto and</p><p>allow it to guide us in present struggles.</p>",
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"body": "<p>A little commentary..</p>\n\n<p><strong>The word Yisrael (Israel)</strong></p>\n\n<p>When found in the liturgy (religious text) does not refer to the modern nation/state of Israel, rather it derives from the blessing given to Ya'akov (Jacob) by a stranger with whom he wrestles all night. When the stranger is finally pinned, Ya'akov asks him for a blessing. The stranger says,\" Your name will no longer be Ya'akov but Yisrael for you have wrestled with G-d and triumphed.\" Therefore when we say \"Yisrael\" in prayer we are referring to being G-d-wrestlers, not Israelis. (1)</p>\n\n<p><strong>The word Mitzrayim</strong></p>\n\n<p>Throughout the Haggadah, we have chosen the term 'Mitzrayim', instead of 'Egypt'. Mitzrayim comes from the root Tzar, meaning narrow or constricted. It can refer to the geography of the Nile valley, but also to a metaphorical state of confinement. The Passover story is also the story of the birth of the Jewish people, and 'mitzrayim' is the narrow passage we moved through. Leaving 'mitzrayim' also means freeing ourselves from narrow-mindedness and oppression. And in this time of intense anti-Arab racism, we are intentionally differentiating between the \"bad guys\" in this story and any contemporary Arab places or people.</p>",
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"body": "<p>In the ninth century B.C.E., a farmer arose to challenge the domination of the ruling elite. In his tireless and passionate advocacy on behalf of the common people, and his ceaseless exposure of the corruption and waste of the court, Elijah sparked a movement and created a legend which would inspire people for generations to come.</p>\n\n<p>Before he died, Elijah declared that he would return once each generation in the guise of any poor or oppressed person, coming to people's doors to see how he would be treated. By the treatment offered this poor person, who would be Elijah himself, he would know whether the population had reached a level of humanity making them capable of participating in the dawn of the Messianic age.</p>",
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"body": "<p>Scholars inform us that bitter herbs were eaten at the Spring festival in ancient times. The sharpness of the taste awakened the senses and made the people feel at one with nature's revival. <br />\n<br />\nWhat role does bitterness play in our lives? What is important about experiencing the sharpness of Maror? As we prepare to dip the maror into the sweet charoset, what does it look like for us to temper our bitterness with sweetness? </p>",
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"handle": "dreaming-to-liberation",
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"body": "<p>I work at a holocaust museum. And in as many moments and sometimes beautiful hours between maniacally editing press releases and social media posts as I can, my team and I think endlessly about what we can do to end antisemitism. Obviously, we will never succeed, but we have to do something. I’ve also thought about what a Haggadah themed around antisemitism would look like - we also talk a lot at the holocaust museum about how to make it not a bummer.</p>\n\n\n\n<p>Of course, we have to address genuine centuries of traumas from expulsions to pogroms to the holocaust itself - we sit with those things today, as though we ourselves were the hebrews making our way out of a narrow place. But within that, I think the parts we can find that aren't bummers are about dreaming. Hoping. Being there for each other. Getting romantic about the big picture. Asking questions, as we are mandated to this evening.</p>\n\n\n\n\n\n<p>Questions we ask at the museum to be less of a bummer I think quite apply to the Seder and the exodus story, too: How will we feel when we're liberated? What does ending antisemitism/oppression look like? What gives us hope and energy? </p>\n\n\n\n\n\n<p>My current answers are: </p>\n\n\n\n<ul>\n\t<li>\n\t<p>Collective resistance </p>\n\t</li>\n\t<li>\n\t<p>Storytelling</p>\n\t</li>\n\t<li>\n\t<p>Welcoming and trust</p>\n\t</li>\n\t<li>\n\t<p>Magic and spirituality </p>\n\t</li>\n</ul>\n\n\n\n<p>Especially as we tell the Exodus story, I hope we'll keep these themes in mind - what powers does storytelling hold? When we resist collectively, each person can play a different role - what role do you play? What kind of child are you? How is the Exodus a collective project, just like the Seder? How is community defined? How are the characters building trust with each other while also practicing resistance? And in that process, as magic was used to prove to the oppressors that the oppressed had the same access to divinity and skill -- how can miracles and awe bring us closer to liberation? </p>\n\n",
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"body": "<p>The dream of <em>yerushaliyim</em> could be a utopian one - a reminder (at the end of our arduous journey of slavery and the ongoing mess of liberation which never truly ends) to dream that the abolition of our slavery could ripple out and that the joy of our celebration should continue on in a place better than anything on this current earth. </p>",
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"body": "<p><b>In the world I’ve chosen, antisemitism and antizionism are very different choices made by largely very different groups of people. The first is a centuries-old systemic oppression of and antagonism towards people who are Jewish (among other things), which is intrinsically linked to every other historic oppression imaginable. The second is a legitimate political opinion generally related to laws, nationalism, apartheid, racism, and other concerns - it can be agreed or disagreed with. In the world I’ve chosen, it's illogical to accuse those who suffer from an oppression like antisemitism of enacting that same oppression. We surely internalize antisemitism; we all suffer from carrying our trauma in ways that manifest differently - in the world I've chosen, this warrants only more tenderness. After all there are so few of us, relative to the big world. </b></p>\n\n<p><b>To me, fighting antisemitism also means finding what comforts, power, and humility we can in the Haggadah's narrative “my father was a wandering Aramean.” Keeping in touch with our roots/realities - as wanderers, murderers, freedom fighters, artists, conjures, oppressed people who welcome kindreds into our midst. </b></p>\n\n<p><b>Let us seek freedom, not power. </b></p>",
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"body": "<p>For this section of the Haggadah, the Rabbis selected four biblical texts that featured talking to children about the exodus story. They used the texts to justify the classifications they put forth of wise/wicked/simple/unable to ask. </p>\n\n<p>The original texts offer moments of intergenerational storytelling that highlight essential ways to read and hold the exodus story - let’s read these and focus on collectivity/individuality, balance, communication, and even some intergenerational ritual grief work. </p>\n\n<p><br />\n<strong>The collective child - Nuanced learning for our merit</strong></p>\n\n<p><br />\nThis pulls from Deuteronomy 6:20-25, which says: </p>\n\n<p><b>When, in time to come, your children ask you, “What mean the decrees, laws, and rules that our God יהוה has enjoined upon you?” … you shall say to your children, “We were slaves to Pharaoh in Egypt and יהוה freed us from Egypt with a mighty hand. יהוה wrought before our eyes marvelous and destructive signs and portents in Egypt, against Pharaoh and all his household; and us [God] freed from there, in order to take us and give us the land promised on oath to our fathers. Then יהוה commanded us to observe all these laws, to revere our God יהוה, for our lasting good and for our survival, as is now the case. It will be therefore to our merit before our God יהוה to observe faithfully this whole Instruction, as [God] has commanded us.”</b></p>\n\n<p>What's the difference between \"decrees, laws, and rules\"? What's the moral of this conversation? How is the individual here a part of the collective? </p><br />\n\n<p><strong>The balanced child - chosenness and humility </strong></p>\n\n<p><br />\nFrom Exodus 12:26:</p>\n\n<p><b>And when your children ask you, ‘What do you mean by this rite?’ you shall say, ‘It is the passover sacrifice to יהוה, who passed over the houses of the Israelites in Egypt when smiting the Egyptians, but saved our houses.’ Those assembled then bowed low in homage.</b></p>\n\n<p> <br />\nDoes this response even answer the child’s question? What can we do with the parallel between being chosen to be saved and bowing in homage? </p><br />\n\n<p><strong>The communicating child - Naming and ritualmaking </strong></p>\n\n<p> <br />\nThis comes from Exodus 13:14-16, and it’s anything but simple as the Rabbis classified: </p>\n\n<p><b>And when, in time to come, a child of yours asks you, saying, ‘What does this mean?’ you shall reply, ‘It was with a mighty hand that יהוה brought us out from Egypt, the house of bondage. When Pharaoh stubbornly refused to let us go, יהוה slew every first-born in the land of Egypt, the first-born of both human and beast. Therefore I sacrifice to יהוה every first boy child, but redeem every boy first-born among my children.’ “And so it shall be as a sign upon your hand and as a symbol on your forehead that with a mighty hand יהוה freed us from Egypt.” </b></p>\n\n<p>What the heck is going on here? How does such a specific answer come from such a general question? In describing a ritual of the first born, how is this adult modeling what happened in Egypt? The experiences of our ancestors - and us with them tonight - continue to mark the following generations on our hands and our heads. What are our markings? </p>\n\n<p> <br />\n <br /><br />\n<strong>The empathetic child - observation and time travel </strong></p>\n\n<p><br />\nThe source text for this is Exodus 13:8: </p>\n\n<p><strong>“Seven days you shall eat unleavened bread, and on the seventh day there shall be a festival of יהוה. Throughout the seven days unleavened bread shall be eaten; no leavened bread shall be found with you, and no leaven shall be found in all your territory. And you shall explain to your child on that day, ‘It is because of what יהוה did for me when I went free from Egypt.’</strong></p>\n\n<p> <br />\nIs the child the simple one here, or the explanation? What does it mean here that the explanation is happening without a question from the child? Does that silence have anything to do with the “me/I” individuality of this explanation?</p>",
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"body": "<p>This World is not Conclusion.</p>\n\n<p>A Species stands beyond -</p>\n\n<p>Invisible, as Music-</p>\n\n<p>But positive, as Sound-</p>\n\n<p>It beckons, and it baffles -</p>\n\n<p>Philosophy -don't know-</p>\n\n<p>And through a Riddle, at the last -</p>\n\n<p>Sagacity, must go -</p>\n\n<p>To guess it, puzzles scholars -</p>\n\n<p>To gain it, Men have borne</p>\n\n<p>Contempt of Generations</p>\n\n<p>And Crucifixion, shown -</p>\n\n<p>Faith slips - and laughs, and rallies -</p>\n\n<p>Blushes, if any see -</p>\n\n<p>Plucks at a twig of Evidence -</p>\n\n<p>And asks a Vane, the way -</p>\n\n<p>Much Gesture, from the Pulpit-</p>\n\n<p>Strong Hallelujahs roll - </p>\n\n<p>Narcotics cannot still the Tooth</p>\n\n<p>That nibbles at the soul-</p>\n\n<p>1929</p>",
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"body": "<p>I was raised by two women who were wild in their words but never their deeds. The first would tell me I was a gift. That I came to her in water, that we met submerged, almost equals. With reverence she’d talk to me about myself, it was weird. She also teased me, called me a fish out of water, and here I was in the seat of power with her. Everyone was nice or mysterious, depending. She taught me that power is limiting, and limited, because her desires were answered by the water, and not by her father, or any of her suitors, or any of her beautiful companions or sweet-smelling servants. She was so beautiful, though she could be quite cruel to some of the others in the court when they would display qualities she found unsavory. She had very high standards, and more than once dismissed a courtier over ideological differences or bad boundaries. I usually understood why it had to be done. And while she would never permit them to speak badly of me, I heard whispers about her, when I was quiet and close and they didn’t know. No one understood why she would have rescued me from the river, everyone knew the kind of children they put in rivers. Why did she insist on being called mother. Still, we all knew she was my mother.</p>\n\n<p><br />\nThe second was my creator. Yocheved, I learned later. I was the one who had reverence in that pairing, though she was not quite as sweet smelling. Just as beautiful, but in a sad, underfed kind of way because of course she didn’t have the power to be buoyant. She always came to me, ate the second she arrived, without even regard for my childhood needs; she never told me I was a gift, or that I was created by water. She said, your people can claim you whether you want to be claimed or not. She told me that life is about jumping off cliffs - maybe there was water maybe there wasn’t, but you still had to jump. Once she’d eaten she reached her hands out to me and wouldn’t let go for a long time - I understood I was being claimed. No one else in the world told me I couldn’t have what I wanted. I didn’t share that with my other mother; it felt like a secret. Until later, I didn’t know where she returned to at night, upriver, but as she left she’d always say “i carry your heart with me(i carry it in my heart)”.</p>\n\n<p><br />\nI carried them both in my heart, but over time they came into turmoil, the parts of them. Various of my peers were brought into the decision-making and I was too, but in ways that felt troubling, at times, like I was being given a job but not because that job needed to be done. I was getting tired of the muddled public opinion that I was some kind of lesser “water baby” or that I was a testament to my mother’s generosity. My creator, though. The last time I saw her before I became a murderer she said I was a significant part of something bigger that hurt people, and that I should imagine what might be - imagine, she said, taking my hand, which she almost never did. Her hand was scarred soft in parts, and warm. She wasn’t usually one to encourage creativity.</p>\n\n<p><br />\nMy mother’s father was building up into the outskirts and I was sent to survey the progress and “to smile nicely and say encouraging things to those in the arduous tasks of managing the building.” It was a bit insulting, honestly, to be sent to the places no one wanted to go, a city that barely existed yet. My mother had been hoping I’d be given the task of water management, so this was certainly a snub in her eyes. I would accompany the committee on the survey and take measurements to affirm the magicians’ prophecies about the water - I wasn’t told what to do if the measurements didn’t affirm, which later I used to my advantage. Little did I know, the rest of the survey took us farther away from the river than I’d ever been in order to see the dusty blood of my people, the workers.</p>\n\n<p><br />\nIn all the ways that I thought of myself, for what I suppose was forever until that moment, I didn’t consider that I would become a murderer.</p>\n\n<p><br />\nIf you turn your head to look one way and then you turn and look the other way, there’s an infinite number of ways in between those two ways to step into. There have been maybe a few moments in my life when the in between ways suddenly became clear. When each measure of sky is a portal to a reality where you made a different choice. Not everyone sees all those realities and chooses murder. My father-in-law told me: “Some have to murder and some have to save. More murder than save. Getting to do both makes a murderer lucky because nothing else can heal it.” At least in my experience saving does help, if not heal, the murder. Because I also know that when you kill, you die.</p>\n\n<p><br />\nSo, that me died. I saw every reality before me and I jumped off the cliff. Suddenly everything my creator said made sense, and in a moment I felt claimed - I felt that I couldn’t have what I wanted and so I had to make a new world. I was claimed by the desire to be a traitor to the life I was living and anything about it that had brought about the kind of suffering I witnessed there. The cruelty was the point; I was scared, but I wanted a better point.</p>\n\n<p><br />\nI jumped off the cliff and there was water below me - as before - and also there was fire. Every element goes into the creation of a human body and what utter magic that is. I have known every day since I murdered him that the man deserved it, that he was just a speck of dust in addition to being a whole world, and that to me he was a symbol, even if he was something else to those who knew him. I don’t think he thought about that when he thought about the lives he took from my oppressed people. As I watched the other deaths caused by my work unfold around me I thought back each time to this cruel person, and to what we started together when he turned to me, laughing in a way that bared every one of his teeth, dripping a kind of cruelty that I saw crackling behind his eyes with dangerous mirth. His nails were clean and soft and oiled, I noticed, when he reached out to me in shock.</p>\n\n<p><br />\nI never saw my mother again, not even when I went back to the palace years later as a parent myself. I still wonder what she thinks of my children, my choices. If she defended me around court after I’d fled. Yocheved my creator, though, became my mother. She was the water, and Miriam, who I finally met, carried that forward powerfully.</p>\n\n<p><br />\nWhen I arrived with Aaron, Yocheved met us in the street, took me into her arms, and said child, let’s go home. I’d never been to her house - she said it was my house too since I was born there. I didn’t realize I had been born for a long time, but by then I understood. There was a feast, quietly, with emissaries from various places around the city and the whole family, Aaron and Miriam’s children running around buzzing about a family member they’d never met before. I went to breathe the air and see the sky after a while. A quiet-eyed Miriam came out the kitchen door, and when she looked at me I felt a kind of flush at the recognition of her beauty and stillness. Somehow I thought she was younger than me, then, but I think it was because she was confident, a bit in love with her dreams, I suppose, in a childish way.</p>\n\n<p><br />\n“Finally,” she muttered. As she looked at me I felt the back of my neck prickle, and from then on we always kept our word to each other. Even when Yocheved was gone and we had jumped off at least a handful of cliffs together. As it turned out our dreams were similar - and they took us to this desert we’ve taken to calling “the desert of insufficiency and hope.”</p>\n\n<p><br />\nThe thing I remember most about our first days in the desert is that the clouds were small and moved fast, in clusters. The moon was visible -- full and bright. We lost all sense of time under that deadpan, steadfast moon, sometimes sharp, sometimes hidden, but never without a halo burning the clouds when they covered it. I would watch it for a dreamlike amount of time, thinking of all that had rained down from the sky; all the hope we had, all the things that people would call me now before they’d call me a murderer.</p>",
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"body": "<p><b>Through The Water And Into The Fire - As Told By Aaron's Unnamed Daughter</b></p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>I was young enough at the time that I felt the danger in growing up, but I didn’t have to go through the worst of it, really. Still, the way things were working, the way we all felt like we were on the edge of something catastrophic without any comfort, or the way the adults would talk in circles, night after night, with nothing solid to grasp onto. That’s what it was like when it all changed. </b></p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>We could run around noisily at night in our enclave, but we still had to be careful. Our breathy not-laughter disappeared into the night sky. All us children of Aaron were running around under a bright full moon when my father, who had been off meeting his brother – how he knew to meet him I’ll never know – made an introductory speech to the courtyard. I didn’t even know he had a brother, and somehow I’ve never asked why no one told me sooner. Maybe I don’t want to know. </b></p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>Moshe-who-had-been-a-secret looked like his own full moon that night, silvery and like he could see our lives from up in the sky, like he was a floating ember on its way to or from the moon. We didn’t have much, but we loved each other. Looking at him, I picked at the loose threads at the hem of my smock and suddenly wanted things to be different. He smiled at me and I could see all the members of my family in his face, his eyes, his nose, Miriam’s sharp jaw, the smile that still looks exactly like my grandmother’s did. </b></p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>When I remember that the story was already unfolding that night, rather than just beginning, I feel baffled. I heard them whispering through the doorway “we can’t do this” before each and every thing they did, and somehow it kept going. </b></p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>Now, looking back, I’m struck by how long it all is - the whole process of liberation, and how no one told me it would be forever. If I had known, would I have felt as much hope? Would I have encouraged and fed and connected and held the people around me as I did, or would I have thrown up my hands and said you’re all fucking insane, I’m going to crawl into a cranny in this half-built city you’re all making and the rest of you can go wherever you want?</b></p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>But they weren’t insane. Being in a state of hope is where I want to be. I’m grateful to be in this place, to be a wanderer, I suppose. From that night when I met my uncle I knew something better would be ahead. I knew it because I heard everything. </b></p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>“My sweet” my mother would say, “if eavesdropping were a divine act you would unseat your father and uncle both.” </b></p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>That divinity apparently meant that they were never around to be with us. It didn’t matter though - even before Moshe appeared out of nowhere I had Miriam, Anat, and Aya to listen to. Miriam had always lived here, but the others moved in when the cruel ones figured out they were breaking laws and came after them. It was originally meant to be short term, keeping a low profile, but everyone was so obsessed with them they wanted them to stay. Miriam was obsessed with them in a different way; I heard her explaining the life bond and its power, even if its origin remained a mystery. A love story with no beginning, they were. Anat and Aya taught Miriam their customs and rituals and she joined with them because the language spoke to her, too. Then they taught me. They said it was more productive than eavesdropping. </b></p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>My uncle was family but he was also royalty, they said. Anat and Aya said that he was a traitor like they were – the ripples went through everywhere when the son of the royal princess absconded on the moral grounds that our oppression wasn’t an acceptable trade for his power. I heard him articulate that one day and something shifted in me. It felt so good to be loved like that. I hadn’t yet seen the miracles - I hadn’t felt the awe yet of watching the planet unleash its power at the bidding of my own family. But listening at the curtain then, the patch I was meant to be sewing into my tunic resting haphazardly on my lap, I heard about visions and miracles that I could only have dreamed of. A wavering fire moving through the unaffected leaves of a low desert tree, sending off embers into the sky to spell out a mandate, a direction into an unknown of our own. Something about that vision wouldn’t leave any of us. </b></p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>In the dark days of the plagues, we’d sit with our dried-leaf tea blends and hold hands and cry together, murmuring incantations for comfort. We re-created the incantations with each plague, and again later when we watched a sea give and simultaneously take so dramatically. Many were cheering, so I was glad that Anat and Aya’s tradition explained that it also felt so terrible, even though the people were technically our enemies. </b></p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>The last plague, especially, was... well. People were wailing all over the place. My parents held Nadav close and he complained about it. To be those without blood on their doorways was worse. We still carry those times, I can’t deny it. And what we had to go through to get out of the thing once the plagues had finished. </b></p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>“How can anyone live unscathed?” is a question Miriam started asking everyone: pilgrims and visitors, even her brothers, who were so excited to become powerful on the other side of leaving that they barely answered. I admire her for that, and for her criticism of those with leadership, across the board. She always encouraged us to consider what we’d been through and what we need - but no one could say she didn’t care because of the well. She gave us water. Sang of it, provided it, made it her own friend. Even as the legacy of water was attributed to Moshe. </b></p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>We’d figured out eating and drinking in the desert. Then, the news came. I didn’t know what to think. My uncle and father sat me down together, which should have warned me. Then they told me that I wouldn’t be making it to the milk and the honey. That being born oppressed means one will always feel oppressed, and so I would be kept from the promised land. As though I were some wicked child. As though my whole generation were wicked children. My uncle’s eyes shifted to the floor. My father said “Ah, yes, my children the last generation” and he laughed but in a way like he wasn’t sure if it was funny. Complete lack of control does sometimes inspire laughter, I suppose. </b></p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>My head was swimming; the whole dream had been the promised land, and suddenly it’s not for me? What even was the point of wandering? Right then I got word that The Three, as I came to call them - Miriam, Anat, and Aya - summoned me. My stomach rumbled as I walked to their home, crunching over the well-worn ground from which all sustenance had already been gathered that morning while I was with Moses and my father. I felt so tired and worried about why I’d been summoned that I barely noticed the fourth set of eyes in the room. They were hazel, watery in their depth; something shimmered and took flight. </b></p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>Miriam nodded across the table toward the owner of the eyes and said simply, “We found you someone.” </b></p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>“Anipe,” said the mouth that grinned timidly below the eyes. “My family is Egyptian but we were so happy to get out of that narrow place. We were feeding some of your people and they told us how to survive, but even so sometimes it feels like people don’t know what to do with us.” </b></p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>“Well uh, I don’t know what to do with anything, but I’d try, shit.” I found myself saying. “Don’t have a destination, but there’s time to get… somewhere, I guess…” drawing in a breath I watched that grin open in laughter to reveal a bit of tongue within it, and then five mouths were open in laughter together. </b></p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>They never told me how they found her amongst the throngs but we came to wander together and I started calling The Three instead The Font of Love. They added “matchmakers” to their list of skills, and we five learned each other’s customs and incantations. We wrote songs and plays and stories together to spark conversation over the long days and months and years. We gave some to the children, hoping they’ll grow and remember and keep our work in mind since they never experienced anything but anticipation for a destination they know they’ll attain - imagine! </b></p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>We sang litanies of the miracles, we sat in awe of all it takes to achieve freedom - each moment of darkness, every single hailstone, the exercise of transformative magic, each drop of blood and water. We told stories. We learned to make our own milk and honey. </b></p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>The collective, under the leadership of our family members, is also creating new rituals - some of them really quite bloody - to make sense of what we did, what happened to us. Even if we got caught up in the tantalizing dream of being each our own direct conduits to the divine, ultimately we all agreed that it was especially nice to receive the collective mandate to not kill. Aside, of course, from sacrifices. </b></p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>Miriam refused to participate in the ritual slaughter - not her metaphor, she said. Anat, Aya, and Anipe didn’t do that kind of thing. They talked about the animals they’d grown up with, naming and loving them, each one had a distinct society of creature neighbors to make their days beautiful. I could have participated in the slaughter myself, but what for? The Font of Love would toss their quick loaves over the coals when we had access to the ingredients, and the smoke of the singed edges was an offering, too. </b></p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>When Miriam got sick, me and Anipe were the only ones there; we’d already been sitting together for the 30 days of mourning. Anat and Aya had gone within an hour of each other. We brought her some teas, whatever we had, but she barely noticed. She’s lost so many parts of herself, it makes sense for that to manifest physically. So much loss, even as the wildflowers bloom and the herbs dry hanging from the ceiling, sending their fragrance of contentment. </b></p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>She looked at us and held our hands in her hands. We took care of her. Went for walks - going through the doorway sideways so that she - grumbling all the way - could keep our arms linked through each of hers as we emerged into the quiet outskirts of our camp. We talked to all sorts of people engaged in survival and enjoyment with each other. </b></p>\n\n\n\n<p><b>Now we are the three - Anipe and I, with our matchmaker who we’d catch looking at us dreamily when she thought we weren’t paying attention. We talk every night about how we’re dreaming of freedom, of milk and honey, and we find new definitions for that every day. We remind each other that a pillar of cloud and a pillar of fire could appear out of nothing. 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