{ "clip_details": { "clip": { "is_admin": 0, "is_owner": 0, "handle": "four-questions-according-dr-seuss", "title": "The Four Questions According to Dr. Seuss", "author": "jeremy bayes", "author_handle": "bayjayes144917", "author_initials": "JB", "covertext": "Why is it only On Passover night We never know how To do ANYTHING right? We don’t eat our meals In the regular ways, The...", "user_image": "", "user_image_original": "", "body": "<p>Why is it only<br />\nOn Passover night<br />\nWe never know how<br />\nTo do ANYTHING right?<br />\nWe don’t eat our meals<br />\nIn the regular ways,<br />\nThe ways that we do<br />\nOn all other days.<br />\n‘Cause on all other nights<br />\nWe may eat<br />\nAll kinds of wonderful<br />\nGood bready treats,<br />\nLike big purple pizza<br />\nThat tastes like a pickle,<br />\nCrumbly crackaers,<br />\nAnd pink pumpernickel,<br />\nSassafras sandwich<br />\nAnd tiger on rye,<br />\nFifty falafels in pita,<br />\nFresh-fried,<br />\nWith peanut-butter<br />\nAnd tangerine sauce<br />\nSpread unto each side<br />\nUp-and-down, then across,<br />\nAnd toasted whole-wheat bread<br />\nWith liver and ducks,<br />\nAnd crumpets and dumplings,<br />\nAnd bagels and lox,<br />\nAnd doughnuts with one hole<br />\nAnd doughnuts with four,<br />\nAnd cake with six layers<br />\nAnd windows and doors.<br />\nYes--<br />\nOn all other nights<br />\nWe eat all kinds of bread,<br />\nBut tonight of all nights<br />\nWe munch matzah instead<br />\nAnd on all other nights<br />\nWe devour<br />\nVegetables, green things,<br />\nAnd bushes and flowers,<br />\nLettuce that’s leafy<br />\nAnd candy-striped spinach,<br />\nFresh silly celery<br />\n(Have more when you’re finished!)<br />\nCabbage that’s flown<br />\nFrom the jungles of Glome<br />\nBy a polka-dot bird<br />\nWho can’t find his way home,<br />\nDaisies and roses<br />\nAnd inside-out grass<br />\nAnd artichoke hearts<br />\nThat are simply first class!<br />\nSixty asparagus tips<br />\nServed in glasses<br />\nWith anchovy sauce<br />\nAnd some sticky molasses--<br />\nBut on Passover night<br />\nYou would never consider<br />\nEating and herb<br />\nThat wasn’t all bitter.<br />\nAnd on all other nights<br />\nYou would probably flip<br />\nIf anyone asked you how often you dip.<br />\nOn some days I only dip<br />\nOne Bup-Bup egg<br />\nIn a teaspoon of vinegar<br />\nMixes with nutmeg,<br />\nBut sometimes we take more than ten thousand tails<br />\nOf the Yakkity-birds<br />\nThat are hunted in Wales,<br />\nAnd dup them in vats<br />\nFull of Mumbegum juice.<br />\nThen we feed them to Harold,<br />\nOur six-legged moose.<br />\nOr we don’t dip at all!<br />\nWe don’t ask your advice.<br />\nSo why on this night<br />\nDo we have to dip twice?<br />\nAnd on all other nights<br />\nWe can sit as we please,<br />\nOn our head, on our elbows,<br />\nOur back or our knees,<br />\nOr hang by our toes<br />\nFrom the tail of a Glump,<br />\nOr on top of a camel<br />\nWith one or two humps,<br />\nWith our foot on the table,<br />\nOur nose on the floor,<br />\nWith one ear in the window,<br />\nAnd one out the door,<br />\nDoing domersaults<br />\nOver the greasy k’nishes<br />\nOr dancing a jig<br />\nWithout breaking the dishes.<br />\nYes—<br />\nOn all other nights<br />\nYou site nicely when dining—<br />\nSo why on this night<br />\nMust it all be reclining?</p>\n", "cliptype": "text", "clipsource": "http://jackpillemer.etni.org/hagadah.htm", "featured": 0, "featuredIn": null, "is_public": 1, "is_published": 1, "media": { "image": null, "audio": null, "video": null }, "thumbnail": null, "clip_section": [ { "haggadah_section": "-- Four Questions", "slug": "four-questions" } ], "likes": 0, "downloads": 180, "tags": [], "themes": [], "language": "0", "is_bookmarked": "0", "is_liked": 0, "meta_tags": { "title": "The Four Questions According to Dr. Seuss | Passover haggadah by jeremy bayes", "description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. Find artwork, family", "keywords": "", "og:type": "article", "og:url": "https://www.haggadot.com/clip/four-questions-according-dr-seuss", "og:title": "The Four Questions According to Dr. Seuss | Passover haggadah by jeremy bayes", "og:description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. Find artwork, family", "og:image": "" } } }, "contributed_by": { "author": "jeremy bayes", "handle": "bayjayes144917", "author_initials": "JB", "total_books": 1, "total_clips": 3, "total_followers": 0, "is_following": 0 }, "user_book": null, "clips_by_author": [ { "clip": { "is_admin": 0, "is_owner": 0, "handle": "intro-126", "title": "Intro", "author": "jeremy bayes", "author_handle": "bayjayes144917", "author_initials": "JB", "covertext": "AS WE BEGIN TONIGHT’S SEDER, let’s take a moment to be thankful for being together. We make a small community of storyte...", "user_image": "", "user_image_original": "", "body": "<p>AS WE BEGIN TONIGHT’S SEDER, let’s take a moment to be thankful for being together. We make a small community of storytellers. But, why this story again? Most of us already know the story of Passover. The answer is that we are not merely telling, or in tonight’s case, singing a story. We are being called to the act of empathy. Not only to hear the story of the Exodus but to feel as if we too were being set free. Some at our table observe this holiday every year and some are experiencing it for the first time. Some of us are Jewish, others are not. Passover is the most widely celebrated Jewish holiday and is enjoyed by people of various faiths. Freedom is at the core of each of our stories. All who are in need, let them come celebrate Passover with us. Now we are here. Next year in the land of Israel.</p>\n", "cliptype": "text", "clipsource": "", "featured": 0, "featuredIn": null, "is_public": 1, "is_published": 1, "media": { "image": null, "audio": null, "video": null }, "thumbnail": null, "clip_section": [ { "haggadah_section": "Introduction", "slug": "introduction" } ], "likes": 0, "downloads": 206, "tags": [], "themes": [], "language": "0", "is_bookmarked": "0", "is_liked": 0, "meta_tags": { "title": "Intro | Passover haggadah by jeremy bayes", "description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. Find artwork, family", "keywords": "", "og:type": "article", "og:url": "https://www.haggadot.com/clip/intro-126", "og:title": "Intro | Passover haggadah by jeremy bayes", "og:description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. Find artwork, family", "og:image": "" } } }, { "clip": { "is_admin": 0, "is_owner": 0, "handle": "10-plagues-according-monty-python", "title": "10 Plagues according to Monty Python", "author": "jeremy bayes", "author_handle": "bayjayes144917", "author_initials": "JB", "covertext": "With sincere apologies to Eric Idle, John Cleese, and anyone who takes Passover very seriously. The Ten Plagues Accordin...", "user_image": "", "user_image_original": "", "body": "<p>With sincere apologies to Eric Idle, John Cleese, and anyone who takes Passover very seriously.</p>\n\n<p>The Ten Plagues According to Monty Python</p>\n\n<p>Killer rabbits<br />\nDead Parrots<br />\nThe Spanish Inquisition<br />\nSilly walks<br />\n1000-ton weights<br />\nPlague six. There <u>IS</u> no plague six!<br />\nCrunchy frogs<br />\nSpam<br />\nGiant badgers<br />\nThe killing of the first born</p>\n\n<p>The morning after the final plague, the Egyptian garbage collectors roam the streets calling. “Bring out your dead!” People bring out corpses of the plague victims to the dead cart.</p>\n\n<p>When they start to pick up one body, one of the collectors says, “Wait a bit. He’s not dead. He’s just resting.” A lightening bolt comes out of the sky, hitting the body and killing it. The collectors smile and heave it onto the cart. </p>\n", "cliptype": "text", "clipsource": "http://www.suekayton.com/montypythonhaggadah.htm", "featured": 0, "featuredIn": null, "is_public": 1, "is_published": 1, "media": { "image": null, "audio": null, "video": null }, "thumbnail": null, "clip_section": [ { "haggadah_section": "-- Ten Plagues", "slug": "ten-plagues" } ], "likes": 0, "downloads": 199, "tags": [], "themes": [], "language": "0", "is_bookmarked": "0", "is_liked": 0, "meta_tags": { "title": "10 Plagues according to Monty Python | Passover haggadah by jeremy bayes", "description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. Find artwork, family", "keywords": "", "og:type": "article", "og:url": "https://www.haggadot.com/clip/10-plagues-according-monty-python", "og:title": "10 Plagues according to Monty Python | Passover haggadah by jeremy bayes", "og:description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. Find artwork, family", "og:image": "" } } } ], "clip_remake_history": 0, "meta_tags": { "title": "The Four Questions According to Dr. Seuss | Passover haggadah by jeremy bayes", "description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. Find artwork, family", "keywords": "", "og:type": "article", "og:url": "https://www.haggadot.com/clip/four-questions-according-dr-seuss", "og:title": "The Four Questions According to Dr. Seuss | Passover haggadah by jeremy bayes", "og:description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. Find artwork, family", "og:image": "" } }