The Four Children of the Coming Out Process
The following are questions a person at the beginning of the coming out process hears as they encounter a simple person, a wise person, a wicked person, and one that does not know how to ask a question. Are these questions, in fact, simple, wise, evil or undeveloped? How is otherness related to these questions?
The Simple Child
What is this?
What does it mean to be gay? Or transgender? Or bi? Why are you gay?
Can I be trans too?
Is it hard?
The Wise Child
What are the testimonies and laws and judgments that God commanded you?
How long have you been struggling with this?
Who else have you spoken with? How did they respond? How, if at all, have you struggled with God?
The Wicked Child
Are you sure?
Have you tried dating someone of the opposite sex? Do you realize that this will end our relationship? Why do you have to rub it in my face?
Does this mean no grandchildren?
Have you really tried to live as you were born?
The Child That Does Not Know How to Ask a Question:
Start talking about your struggle. Understand that it may be difficult for the person to whom you are coming out or with whom you are talking – that that person also has a coming out process. So let this person know that you will be there when they are ready to ask questions.
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