The Four Children
Different people learn in different ways and come to the Seder table with different attitudes. The Rabbis spoke of four different children to whom you have to tell the story.
First is the Wise Child. This child understands the stories and has gotten deeply into the details of observance. If the child asks about the fine points of the holiday and its history, answer with as much information as you can. (It's OK if you don't know all the facts about the Twelve Tribes' flags.)
The Irreverent Child sneers "What does all this mean to you?" saying "to you" as if outside of and above it all. The Rabbis said that you should snap back and say "This is because of what God did for me when I went out of Egypt. With that attitude, you wouldn't have deserved to be freed, and would have been left behind." But listen closely to how the child asked the question; as it says in the book of Proverbs, "A soft answer turns away wrath." If you explain what it does mean in your life, there's a chance that the child may come to appreciate it.
In the words of Bob Dylan, the Simple Child will know that something's happening, but won't know what it is. You can tell the child that "With a strong hand, we were freed from slavery. We're remembering and celebrating this tonight."
The Innocent Child won't even notice that anything unusual is happening. You can simply point out how tonight is different and talk about the story and what it means to you in terms that the child can understand.
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