It is not unusual for some Seders to take six or more hours – enough time for a baseball double-header (without the hot dogs)! Some Seders, though, take less than a half-hour, not counting the meal. To satisfy those who would rather be watching the game (you know who you are!), here is the Seder, in all its glory, presented in the Abridged, Very Abridged, and Hyper-Abridged versions.

The 30-Second Seder


We were slaves in Egypt, now we are free. Let’s have a Seder!

What’s on the Seder plate? Egg, herbs, bone, greens, Charoset.

Let’s drink some wine.

Why is this night different?

Why is this child different?

Ten plagues on the Egyptians.

Enough already – Dayeinu!

Drink wine again.

Matzah, Maror, Hillel sandwich, let’s eat!

Where’s the Afikoman?

Thanks for the food!

Drink some more Wine.

Open the door for Elijahu!

Drink some wine – last one.

Thanking and singing.

Next year in Jerusalem!


The 15-Second Seder


Were slaves, now free. Seder!

Seder plate? Stuff.


Why is this night?

Why is this child?

PLAGUES! Dayeinu!


Matzah, Maror, Charoset, let’s eat!






Next year in Jerusalem!


The 5-Second Seder


Seder! Wine! Why? Plagues! Let’s eat! Next year in Jerusalem!

haggadah Section: Introduction
Source: Bob Family Haggadah