THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH - Yachatz | Passover haggadah by Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons & Significant Others

{ "clip_details": { "clip": { "is_admin": 0, "is_owner": 0, "handle": "anonymous-haggadah-yachatz", "title": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH - Yachatz", "author": "Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons & Significant Others", "author_handle": "jacs", "author_initials": "JA", "covertext": "YACHATZ Is matzo poor man's bread or the food of free men? Can it be both? If we regard it as the Bread of Affliction wh...", "user_image": "https://assets.haggadot.com/users/104233/conversions/jacs-thumb.jpg", "user_image_original": "https://assets.haggadot.com/users/104233/jacs.jpg", "body": "YACHATZ\n\nIs matzo poor man's bread or the food of free men? Can it be both? If we regard it as the Bread of Affliction why did we carry dough on our backs out of Egypt, to let it bake in the hot sun without leavening and rising? Can one Matzo be both a symbol of wretchedness and deliverance?\n\nMatzo is a paradox.\n\nNot only is it so, but in breaking the middle matzo we also break with symmetry. There is a bigger half and a smaller half. This unpalatable truth is almost a preamble to the Haggadah. The universe is not symmetrical, all is not evenly divided. There is a richer and poorer half. The distribution of assets is not equal. This is one of the mysteries that persists, omnipresent, throughout time. Life the universe and everything is not fair. We cannot balance this sorry scheme of things entire, and so it goes. What was our response as children to the dawning realization that it was not fair? Did we have coping mechanisms? We survived so we must have coped, but we sacrificed our health in order to do so. We split. We broke into pieces. We hid ourself away. And this is how we prepared ourselves for life. Like the hungriest of paupers eating what we absolutely must, laying aside the greater part for later, when the time is riper. We compromised, accepting this imbalance, bowing to the \"Law of Unfairness” which must prevail.\n\nIn many ways this acquiescence preceded addiction. We grew satisfied with the expression of a mere fraction of our personalities. We went into \"survival mode\", subsisting on crumbs of humanness, hiding the greater part of ourselves from ourselves. As we do with the AFIKOMEN.\n\nThe focus of our lives grew narrower as our preoccupation with gnawing hunger grew stronger. We had nothing to spare for growth when all we had went to feed our habits. Fewer and fewer opportunities to begin the fixing, as we chased the fix with growing desperation. In the end it became obvious that we had developed a pathological relationship with the \"bread of our affliction\".\n\nWe break the middle matzo because the middle matzo represents the Great Mothering Principle of the Kabbalistical Sphere of BINAH. We lost the ability to take care of our most basic needs, to Mother ourselves.\n\nIf the recitation of the Haggadah is our \"war-story\", our qualification, why are we breaking the matzo now before beginning our war story?\n\nThe answer is heartbreaking. The reason this happens before the Haggadah, is because the splitting of the self almost always occurs when we are still in a pre-verbal state. The disorder of our personalities, the shaming and abandonment of ourselves happens when we are still babies, infants. What follows is the story of our lives after the rupture. The inevitable, inexorable descent into the blast-furnace that was our Egypt, and our deliverance. There are no words to describe the event. We simply break the matzo, leaving the smaller section on the Seder plate, We wrap the larger piece in a pillow-case and put it away for afikomen.\n\nRecovery is a lifelong process. We must realize, actualize and integrate the whole of ourselves. We will do this by eating the Afikomen as a symbolic \"last-act\" of the Seder. When it is all over we will have achieved a reclamation of the \"self\" we abandoned. We take the Afikomen we have wrapped in a pillowcase, slinging it over the shoulder we explain to our children:\n\n“This is what our parents did when they came out of Egypt;”\n\nAs it is written:\n\n“Their dough slung over their shoulders in sheets”\n\nAnd the sun shone so hot that it was baked, without the opportunity to leaven as dough left alone will do. And so they continued to eat the unleavened bread even when they came out of Egypt\".\n\nWhy did we continue eating this bread after we had left Egypt? Why is this a point worth mentioning? In a sense we are reminding ourselves of those times early in Recovery when we found ourselves in very painful situations, eating what seemed identical to the bread of our affliction. We can only see with hindsight that we were eating bread of freedom. In our haste to leave Egypt we were prepared to go to any lengths; even mothers with tiny children walked away from the only homes they had. Walking into the wilderness with nothing to eat but unfinished pastry dough and trust in their Higher Power. It is customary to hide the Afikomen, allowing children the excitement of the search. 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Find artwork, family", "keywords": "", "og:type": "article", "og:url": "https://www.haggadot.com/clip/anonymous-haggadah-yachatz", "og:title": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH - Yachatz | Passover haggadah by Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons & Significant Others", "og:description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. Find artwork, family", "og:image": "" } } }, "contributed_by": { "author": "Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons & Significant Others", "handle": "jacs", "author_initials": "JA", "total_books": 1, "total_clips": 10, "total_followers": 0, "is_following": 0 }, "user_book": null, "clips_by_author": [ { "clip": { "is_admin": 0, "is_owner": 0, "handle": "anonymous-haggadah-introduction", "title": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH - Introduction", "author": "Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons & Significant Others", "author_handle": "jacs", "author_initials": "JA", "covertext": "INTRODUCTION Why is this Haggadah different? More than any Jewish book of prayer or study written since the close of th...", "user_image": "https://assets.haggadot.com/users/104233/conversions/jacs-thumb.jpg", "user_image_original": "https://assets.haggadot.com/users/104233/jacs.jpg", "body": "INTRODUCTION\nWhy is this Haggadah different? \nMore than any Jewish book of prayer or study written since the close of the Bible 2500\nyears ago, the Haggadah has resisted attempts to change its format or content. \nThe reasons are immediate and apparent to anyone who has enjoyed a Seder conducted\nby someone who knew what they were doing. The impression that remains is indelible\nand enriching beyond compare. \nSeder night is a journey into another time and place. It is a swift glance at the darkest\nnight of the human soul and a lingering dance with liberty and freedom. It is a long play\nwith family and food and a short sharp reminder of the depths to which we may plummet\nwhen the framework and fabric of our life decays. \nThe Journey, more a procession, wends its stately way through fifteen points of interest.\nThere are washing of hands and breaking of bread. There are stories and unfamiliar\nfoods. There are roles for children and playful songs for adults. There is wonder and\nenchantment, heroes and wicked adversaries, stories of Revelation and Retribution. There\nis even time to partake of a full Festival meal. There must be time, in my father's house;\nthe Seder took upwards of six hours. \nIf the Seder is an adventure, the Haggadah is Map, Guide, Directory and Vehicle. \nWhat is it? \nWell, the main event of Pesach (Passover) and Seder night is the Exodus from Egypt, the\nmiraculous birth and redemption of the Jewish People. One cannot be long in Recovery\nwithout becoming increasingly aware how close are the ideas of Exodus and Recovery.\nMy understanding of the steps and process of Recovery has deepened my appreciation of\nthe Seder. Now my Seder blossoms in the light of Recovery. \nThe Seder is not simply a description of the Exodus. It is an opportunity to scrutinize the\nreal issue: Our slavery. We were slaves and now we are free. \nSo what then is freedom? Does it mean we may now do whatever we want? \n\n3\nIf we try that route we will soon find ourselves back on the road into Egypt. Freedom is\nnot license. It is the absence of constraint and an awesome life-long struggle. We have\nlearned this lesson, painfully, again and again. For when we became habituated to any\nself-destructive behavior we were no longer free. Furthermore, of all the destructive\npatterns of behavior to seduce a person, a \"bad habit\" is the most difficult to kick.\nWhether the habit is heroin, gambling or fixing people's lives. Whether it is self-denial,\nfasting, smoking or looking through people's windows. \nThis then is what the Haggadah is about. Long before the 12 Steps were formalized,\nenlightened people knew a Way. The Haggadah describes the Recovery process of an\nentire people, hundreds of thousands, adults and children. The distilled essence of their\nexperience boils down to this: \n They were powerless, they admitted it. \n They came to believe in a Higher Power. \n They turned their lives and will over to it. \nEXODUS FROM SLAVERY \n\n4\n\nTHE MEANING OF CHOMETZ\nIt is a very ancient custom (dating back to around 1300 B.C.E.) to begin preparing for\nPesach 30 days in advance. \nWe do this primarily by learning about Pesach and cleaning our dwelling houses and\nother properties of all CHOMETZ (leavened foods). \nOn the evening before Pesach begins, we search by the light of a candle all the nooks and\ncrannies where conceivably Chometz may have been carried and forgotten. We remove\nall cooking pots, crockery and cutlery that have been used throughout the year and\nprepare food for Pesach using Pesach foodstuffs and utensils. \nThe climax of all this frenetic activity is the Seder Night when we join with our families\nand enjoy the ritual and tradition of the festival itself. \nFor those of us familiar with the Twelve Steps and terminology of Recovery, the essence\nof our preparations for Pesach are a thorough First Step. Wherein we examine in great\ndetail all the manifestations of the disease and all the forms which it may be taking\ncontrol of our lives. \nWhat is Chometz (leavening)? Technically, it is the action of particular enzymes in the\nflour which are activated only by the presence of water. It is what transforms a lump of\npasta into the fluffy aerated palatable staple we know as dough which bakes into bread\nand cakes. \nNo one in their right mind would sit down to a meal of raw yeast. It may indeed be the\nsecret, the essence of the goodness of bread. The fact that yeast makes the dough rise and\ntaste good, is not a reason to make a meal of it. Gorging on yeast or sour dough would\nmake anyone very ill. This has been our experience who have gorged ourselves on\n\"yeast\". We have been used to abuse something or someone in our lives. A relationship\nthat might have been nourishing in the right circumstances or proportions has turned\ntoxic because we are extreme. We have lost the balance of sufficiency and health. We are\nincapable of controlling the manner or frequency of our obsession or the nature of our\ncompulsion. \nThe First Step is an admission of powerlessness and recognition of the unmanageability\nof our lives. Strangely though, the longer we work at recovery the trickier and subtler\ngrow the craziness’s. Here is an example: Once there was a man who vowed to himself \n\n5\nthat he would have the perfectly Pesach-cleaned house. Towards the end of the winter he\nbegan in the attic, and working his way downwards, took the house apart stick by stick.\nThree weeks before Pesach there was no bread or Chometz in the house. People entering\nhad to examine their clothing and pockets for crumbs, wiping their shoes on a special\nmat. He was satisfied that the house was completely free of Chometz, he had so to speak\nachieved a spiritual Asepsis. He sat down to enjoy his Seder with a clear mind. \nNow a bird flew over the house with a biscuit in its mouth. The biscuit fell down the\nchimney into the soup cooking over the fire and appeared in the man's plate as he was\nabout to eat. He was horrified and aghast. He looked for a reason to explain this obvious\nact-of-G-D. \nWe in the Program do not have to look far for an explanation. The man was obviously a\ncontrol freak. His whole Pesach was the antithesis of surrender. The reality is that we are\npowerless even over such a relatively simple thing as cleaning for Pesach. \nUnless we receive the help of a Higher Power we are doomed to struggle in vain. If we\nfind the task of cleaning for Pesach daunting it is because we are supposed to find it so.\nNone of us has achieved a clear picture of the nature of our disease without\nsimultaneously being overwhelmed at the task of Recovery. That is why the Second Step\nfollows the first full recognition: A power greater than ourselves. \nIn the history of the creation described in the Book of Genesis the unfolding of evolution\nis depicted over a series of six days beginning with the creation of Light. Each days\nprogress is accompanied with the comment \"And the Creator saw that it was good\". \nUpon completion of the sixth day of creation, it is observed \"And behold it was very\ngood\". The Talmud asks \"What happened on the six day that merited the superlative\ndescription Very good?\" \nThe answer says the Talmud is this: There was an addition of a certain ingredient to the\nstew of creation, meriting that title. A final magic ingredient, the yeast that makes the\ndough rise. Sometimes we call it the Evil Inclination, sometimes we refer to it as Satan,\nsometimes we refer to it as the Angel of Death. It makes the world \"Very Good\". \nThis concept that the impulse to indulge our desires for comfort, sex and prestige is the\nsource of all that is excellent in the Universe is thematic through Rabbinical literature.\nThe disease model of addiction simply examines the effects of these desires when they\nhave become ruling passions. Another theme that runs through the literature is the\nreference to the Evil Inclination as the yeast in the dough. \nThe full realization of how we have turned our lives into problems through the\nmisappropriation, as it were, of funds must be clear to us before we can recover. \nIn order to keep it simple let us explore those three areas of lives where ancient sages and\nmodern scholars agree we need to look. \n\n6\nStep four in the \"Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions of AA\" contains the following\nquote: \n\"If men and women didn't exert themselves to be secure in their persons, made no effort\nto harvest food or construct shelter there would be no survival. If they didn't reproduce,\nthe earth wouldn't be populated. If there were no social instinct, if men cared nothing for\nthe society of one another, there would be no society. \nSo these desires - for sex relations, for material and emotional security and for\ncompanionship - are perfectly necessary and right, and surely G-D-given. Yet these\ninstincts, so necessary for our existence, often far exceed their proper functions.\nPowerfully, blindly, many times subtly, they drive us, dominate us, and insist upon ruling\nour lives. Our desires for sex, for material and emotional security, and for an important\nplace in society often tyrannize us. When thus out of joint, man's natural desires cause\nhim great trouble, practically all the trouble there is\". \nCompare the above with a much older quote, dating back around 150 C.E. Rabbi Eliezer\nis quoted in the Mishna as saying; \n\"Envy, greed and pride take a man out of the world\". \nIt is clear that the Evil Inclination hasn't managed since the dawn of time to invent even\none simple human pleasure. This stands at the crux of our understanding. Good and Evil\nare not the same as right and wrong. \nNow can we apply all this knowledge to the cleaning of the house before Pesach? \nCan we see it as the opportunity to survey our possessions and take stock of every single\nitem in our lives. Can we bear to scrutinize them clearly and plainly? Ask ourselves how\nwe are meeting our basic human needs? Are we obtaining our supplies in a spiritual way?\nAre we now living the excellence? \nSPIRITUALITY \nWe will be in difficulty if we try arriving at a clear consensus of the meaning of\nSpirituality. Though there are no perfect definitions of the word, certain aspects though\nare self-explanatory. Spirit means breath, the stuff of life. Whatever is dead cannot be\nspiritual. The more we celebrate the life we enjoy, the more we live inside our bodies in\nthe here and now the more we are reaching towards a spiritual existence. For many of us,\nsimply dwelling inside our skin has been the most difficult task in Recovery. \n\n7\n\nTHE SEDER\nPreparations for the Seder have two distinct parts: \n Cleaning House. \n Creating Order. \nI. CLEANING HOUSE \nAs with all the rituals of Pesach (Passover) and the Seder, every little detail can be\nexamined and worked until it blossoms and sparkles. And so we will see, even the\nmundane task of ridding the house of Chometz (leavened food) brings us an acute\nawareness of the following shortcomings. \n\nA. Our Denial of the prevalence of Chometz. \nB. Our Procrastination over the jobs that need tackling. \nC. Our powerlessness over the final outcome. \nD. Our Perfectionism in setting standards we can't meet. \nIn order to Clean House properly for Pesach we have in some way to take the following\nsteps. \nA. Break through our denial and become aware. \nB. Confront procrastination and take action. \nC. Admit powerlessness and surrender. \nD. Abandon perfectionism and humbly accept our limits. \nII. CREATING ORDER \nThe Hebrew word \"Seder\" has only one translation. It means \"ORDER\". To celebrate the\nfestival properly a good deal of attention must be paid to PEOPLE, PLACES AND\nTHINGS and a definite framework built around them. \nA. PEOPLE - No one celebrates Seder on their own voluntarily. But the Seder is not\nan impromptu party. The Seder should be enjoyed with loved ones and shared \n\n8\nwith guests. In preparing for the Seder it is important to know who will be joining\nus. \nB. PLACES - The Seder requires a table, chairs, kitchen, space. In short, we need a\nplace to call home. For many of us, this Seder will be an opportunity to take a\nfresh look at our environment and its ambiance. Most of us have a comfortable\ndwelling place, perhaps even luxurious. The Seder, however, doesn't take place in\na garden or a bedroom or a study. It is a place for the gathering of family and\nfriends where other standards apply. \nC. THINGS - The Seder is a pageant of music, stories and symbols. There are\nsymbols of all descriptions from white linen and candles to books and\npillowcases. The majority of \"props\" are the items of food eaten at the Seder. All\nthis requires logistics that may take weeks of organizing. The Seder is lavish and\nrich in detail. \nPREFACE AND ABOUT THIS ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH \nBecause of undeniable and inalienable Rights to a Higher Power of my own\nunderstanding. \nBecause the Right to a Higher Power of my own understanding is total and without any\nexceptions, I have not used the word \"G-D\" in this Haggadah. For me it carries baggage,\nhas connotations and brings associations which would deny me the right of free\nassociation. \nInstead I have used the Hebrew word (translit.) HASHEM which means \"The Name\". I\nknow of no one who has written explaining its meaning. It is strangely, without millennia\nof Linguistic and Philosophical impedimenta. No one has written a scholarly treatise on\nthe meaning of the word HASHEM. You may use whatever name you have for your\nHigher Power. For me the name changes as my knowledge changes, even as my mood\nchanges. \n\"Hashem\" seems the least tyrannical of all choices in the circumstances. \nIf I have referred to Hashem as \"Him\" it is only because I find \"Her\" equally arbitrary,\n\"It\" inappropriate, and I am still hopelessly bound by literary convention and too timid to\ninvent something new. \nIt is interesting to note that the Haggadah does not mention Moshe (Moses) who was\ncentral in the dramatic events described in the Exodus from Egypt. \nThe reason is pointedly an application of the fundamental rule of \"principles before\npersonalities\". Whilst Moshe may have been the most important person to carry the\nmessage to us, we slaves in Egypt were the real cause of events. We mattered in ways\nthat Moshe didn't. \n\n9\nWe were the people in trouble, enslaved and in need. The Haggadah reminds us that we\ndid not embark upon the EXODUS brimming with goodwill and fellowship. We were\nphysically, emotionally and spiritually bankrupt. All of us (excepting perhaps a few\nwomen), were totally enmeshed in the spiraling insanity of life in Egypt. This then is the\nstory of our Recovery. The principles that become apparent through the story and rituals\nof Seder Night are germane to our life tonight. \nMoshe our teacher is not Author. Who then is the Author of the Haggadah? \nThere is another anonymous character whose presence pervades the Seder. If you both\nshould chance to meet, consider yourself fortunate. But remember what was said: “You\nmay say YOU were there, but you may not say whom you met there. You may repeat\nwhat you heard there without attaching names to it. \" \nKnowing our selves as well as we do, and our penchant for evading the obvious\nopportunity to self-examine. It is also fairly certain that any mention of Moshe would\nhave been the launching point for innumerable anecdotes and commentaries about his\nrole. We try and keep the focus on ourselves where it belongs. \n\n10\n \nTHE FOUR CUPS OF WINE\nOne of the main symbols of the Seder, the four cups of wine, corresponds to the four\nwords for redemption mentioned in the Torah as it is written: \nAnd I brought you out. \nAnd I saved you. \nAnd I redeemed you. \nAnd I took you. \n(There is a fifth term hence a fifth cup, but this by tradition refers to the future\nredemption.) \n\nAnd I brought you.\n\nThere are four characteristics we seem to have in common: \n\nI think I'm bad, defective, worthless. \nI'm afraid, should you ever discover who I really am, you must reject me. \nNo one but I myself can meet my needs. \nMy greatest need is for escape, ease, comfort, prestige, sex, etc. \nTo counter these delusions requires time and recovery. We allude to them in the process\nof drinking the four cups. \n\n1. The first we drink after Kiddush whose message is clear. \nHashem wanted us. He still wants us. He chose to bring us out of Egypt. We are\nnot bad or worthless. \n2. The second cup we drink after telling the Haggadah which is the description of\nthe worst side of our character and personality. Even knowing that we were idol\nworshipers, Hashem chose to embrace rather than reject us. \n3. The third we drink after eating the holiday meal which symbolizes the satisfaction\nof our needs, for companionship, food, for a place to belong, etc. \n4. The fourth cup we drink after Hallel \"Praise\" when we sing Hashem's praises and\nour wonderment at His unconditional love for us. It is this love which is our\ngreatest need. \n\n11\nSo the four cups represent the four realities: \n We are perfect just the way we are, and right where we're supposed to be. \n We can be known intimately, totally and still be accepted. \n We can and will have our needs met by others. \n We are loved unconditionally, and this is our greatest need. \nThe fifth cup reminds us that we are never completely cured and we are always in the\nprocess. Only after the end of time as we know it will we be recovered. So we pour it but\ndo not drink it. This is the cup of ELIYAHU the prophet whose arrival we anticipate. \nThere is a difference in custom as to when this fifth cup for ELIYAHU is poured. There\nare those who pour it before the Ma-Nishtana when we pour the second cup. Indicating\nthat we feel secure knowing that no matter what we have done, at the end of time when a\nfinal reckoning is made and all about ourselves is revealed, we will still not be rejected\nby the Almighty. \nThe other custom is to pour this fifth cup before Hallel when we pour the fourth cup. This\nreminds us that even when Recovery is achieved our greatest need will still be the need to\nbe loved unconditionally. Even when Moshiach comes it will be to teach us how to open\nour hearts to those who are close to us and love them in the way that Hashem loves. As it\nis written: \n\"Behold I send you Eliyahu the prophet before the coming of that Great and Awesome\nday. And he will reconcile the hearts of fathers to sons and the hearts of sons to their\nfathers\". \n\n12\n\nCHAROSES\nBefore the Seder begins we prepare a dish of chopped fruit and nuts. (Symbolizing the\nmortar we used building Pharaoh's cities in Egypt). This is the Charoses into which we\ndip the bitter herb before eating it. Its main ingredients are Apple, Walnuts, Cinnamon\nand Wine. \nI. The Apple is our symbol for LOVE the main ingredient in the Charoses. When\nEgyptians saw Jews multiplying, in spite of Draconian programs aimed at\ncontrolling Jewish birth rate. They tried preventing men and women getting\ntogether; by so arranging work-shifts and timetables that married couples would\nnever have time alone together. Jewish Women took the initiative. Acting in concert\nthey packed lunches for their husbands and went down to their work places on the\nbuilding sites. When the men were allowed to stop for a break, their wives led them\ninto nearby fields to enjoy privacy. When Hashem saw their intent, He caused apple\norchards to spring up wherever couples went to picnic. And in those orchards the\nJewish people was conceived as it is written (Song of Songs): \"Beneath the Apple\ntree I aroused you. There your mother birthed you, where she herself was born\". \nThe playful nature of their lovemaking is also considered important by the Rabbis\nin an appreciation of that epoch. A romantic interlude described in the Midrash\nvignettes a scene: \nThe couples are seated beneath the apple tree, in the privacy afforded by its\ndrooping, blossom-laden branches. He has enjoyed the food she prepared. She takes\nthe cosmetics from her reticule and begins to \"make\" her face. Looking at herself in\nthe mirror she remarks to her husband: \"Which of us is more beautiful, do you\nthink?\" He leans closer to peer at his face beside her in the mirror.... \n(Those very mirrors the women used when applying cosmetics, were given an\nelevated status in the Temple Building Fund towards which they were later donated.\nMoses was instructed to take and cast them into the Great Copper Laver from which\nthe priests drew water to prepare their hands and feet before services in the\nTemple.) \nThis little story has meanings on many levels of scholarship. In order to fully\nappreciate its significance, know that the reference to the birth of the mother in the\nverse from Song of Songs, alluded to a Cabalistic principle known as \"The Field of\nHoly Apples\" or the Shechina, the dwelling presence of the Creator. That spot in the \n\n13\nTemple where the Presence of Hashem was seen in fire, crouching like a lion, was\nknown as the Apple. \nWhen Hashem told Avraham our forefather that we his descendants would be\nslaves in Egypt for 400 years, Hashem promised not to forsake us. Even assuring\nAvraham that He Hashem would go into exile with us. This then was the Field of\nHoly Apples where we were conceived, The Shechina. \nThe apple is bound up with the prime number 5 and the Hebrew letter HEH. The\nnumber of seeds in the apple is 5. The number of bumps on the bottom of the apple\nare 5. So its shape and associations, e.g. the way the seed is suspended in womblike\ncells where decomposition must precede germination all have added to the layers of\nmeaning evoked by this symbol. \nII. The walnut is notorious for its \"Klipah\", its shells. Before we can get at the kernel\nwe must strip away layer upon layer of defenses. The walnut symbolically is almost\nan analogy of the world. It has four different layers of Protection: \n(1) Dishonesty and self-deception, \n(2) close-mindedness and blind prejudice, \n(3) unwillingness and inertia, \n(4) the fog and clouds of habit and history. \nAll of them have to go before we move forward. As we strive to change, the masks and\narmor fall away and we reach a clear perception of ourselves. The walnut is a paradigm\nof suppression, representing all the manifold efforts of dishonesty to prevent us seeing\nourselves as we really are. The walnut is bound up with the prime number 17 which is\nalso the value of the Hebrew word for SIN. It describes an arrow shot wide of the mark,\nand represents the natural world severed from all its spiritual connections. The raw\nmaterial of our bodies, the tools with which we strive to serve the Spirit of Hashem's will\nfor us. \nIn the description of a soul surveying its body at the end of a lifetime, searching for assets\nto salvage from the wreckage of the past, it is written (Song of Songs), \"I went down to\nthe grove of walnuts to Look and See...\" The Kabbalists saw in the shape of the walnut\nmany interesting things. The Kernel is reminiscent of the brain, with its convolutions and\nstriations. But whereas our brains have two lobes the walnut has four lobes. The universe,\naccording to the Kabbalists has four \"lobes\". The walnut has been used to imitate\nsymbols from the \"Celestial Chariot\" of Ezekiel, to the concept of Adam and Eve in the\nGarden of Eden. \nIII. We add cinnamon to the Charoses. In its natural, stick form it resembles straw, which\nwas so necessary to the manufacture of bricks in ancient times. It is bound up with the\nprime number seven, whose significance is a well known aspect of Judaism. \n\n14\nIV. The final ingredient is wine, the juice of the grape. (The ethyl alcohol manufactured\nin the process of fermentation is but a tiny aspect of wine's multifaceted symbolism, and\nits role in Judaism.) The grape has been chosen to represent the powers of the mind, the\ncapability for thought and faith, prayer and meditation. Wine represents the fulfillment of\nthat promise, the conscious contact with Hashem and the knowledge of His will for us.\nWine is a symbol for Prophecy which is the ultimate conscious contact where awareness\nhas been reciprocated. \nThe symbolism was acquired by the grape as a poetic expression of a mundane\nphenomenon. The mysterious action (of airborne bacteria) which causes the fermentation\nof the grape into wine, almost an analogy of the process of human thought. The\nfermentation action with its vigorous bubbling, its transformation into \"spirit\" and its\nspontaneous enhancement, simulates the thought process that occurs in our own mind\nwhen ideas ferment, solidify and crystallize. \nThe Union of Man with Hashem was a state of mind, much sought by the prophets and\nthe school of Jewish Meditation. It was always preceded by joy and gratitude which were\nprerequisites to the prophetic state. So the grape also came to symbolize joy and\ngratitude. The only state that is elevated beyond the heights of prophetic communion are\nthose moments when we feel Love as it is written (Song of Songs): \"But Your Love is\nbetter than wine\". \nThe Seder begins with a Benediction Sanctifying the Day. A declaration of a Yom Tov. It\nhas a standard form, Kiddush. \n", "cliptype": "text", "clipsource": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH", "featured": 0, "featuredIn": null, "is_public": 1, "is_published": 1, "media": { "image": null, "audio": null, "video": null }, "thumbnail": null, "clip_section": [ { "haggadah_section": "Introduction", "slug": "introduction" } ], "likes": 0, "downloads": 454, "tags": [], "themes": [], "language": "0", "is_bookmarked": "0", "is_liked": 0, "meta_tags": { "title": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH - Introduction | Passover haggadah by Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons & Significant Others", "description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. Find artwork, family", "keywords": "", "og:type": "article", "og:url": "https://www.haggadot.com/clip/anonymous-haggadah-introduction", "og:title": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH - Introduction | Passover haggadah by Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons & Significant Others", "og:description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. Find artwork, family", "og:image": "" } } }, { "clip": { "is_admin": 0, "is_owner": 0, "handle": "anonymous-haggadah-kadesh", "title": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH - Kadesh", "author": "Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons & Significant Others", "author_handle": "jacs", "author_initials": "JA", "covertext": " KADDESH We begin Kiddush by filling a 5 oz. cup with grape juice. It is important that the cup be filled to the extent...", "user_image": "https://assets.haggadot.com/users/104233/conversions/jacs-thumb.jpg", "user_image_original": "https://assets.haggadot.com/users/104233/jacs.jpg", "body": " KADDESH\n\nWe begin Kiddush by filling a 5 oz. cup with grape juice. It is important that the cup be\nfilled to the extent that the surface tension of the liquid forms a crown over the top of the\ncup. The force which keeps the liquid together in this way, the surface tension, is an\neffect of Natural Physical laws which are not our concern here. Nevertheless, without this\neffect there would be no Life on the planet Earth, since water (whose molecular weight is\nonly 17 Daltons) would be a gas not a liquid. We hold in the palm of our hand a cup of\nthis magical liquid, whose properties we take so for granted, yet which are fantastically\nprovidential. Looking at the light reflected off the edges of this crown, it is a good\nmoment to reflect on all the forces at work in our lives which have brought us to this\npoint. We celebrate the four elementary components of the grape: sunlight, wind, rain and\nearth. We even celebrate the four forces that go to make up the atoms themselves. \nFinally we acknowledge Hashem's hand in the creation of what we are about to drink.\nThe grape juice we hold is a pure example of Hashem's energy transubstantiated. E =\nmc2 means that if you have enough energy you can make matter. Hashem has that energy\nand we are the matter He has fashioned. This is the meaning of the first Blessing. \n\"Who creates the fruit of the vine.\"\n \nThe second part of Kiddush refers us to our chosen-ness. Those of us who are in\nRecovery understand the mystery of being chosen. Why are we in Recovery? \nWhat makes us special that we have been granted the grace of this gift? \nThis blueprint for action this program of life. The Torah, the Steps, the whole\nconcept of our Recovery? The answer, of course, is always a mystery. Hashem simply\nsaid \"Enough! You've suffered enough!\" We are no better or worse, simply lucky. We\nexpress our astonishment at the love and joy this festival represents and how different we\nfeel as a consequence. \n \n", "cliptype": "text", "clipsource": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH", "featured": 0, "featuredIn": null, "is_public": 1, "is_published": 1, "media": { "image": null, "audio": null, "video": null }, "thumbnail": null, "clip_section": [ { "haggadah_section": "Kadesh", "slug": "kadesh" } ], "likes": 0, "downloads": 401, "tags": [], "themes": [], "language": "0", "is_bookmarked": "0", "is_liked": 0, "meta_tags": { "title": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH - Kadesh | Passover haggadah by Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons & Significant Others", "description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. Find artwork, family", "keywords": "", "og:type": "article", "og:url": "https://www.haggadot.com/clip/anonymous-haggadah-kadesh", "og:title": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH - Kadesh | Passover haggadah by Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons & Significant Others", "og:description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. Find artwork, family", "og:image": "" } } }, { "clip": { "is_admin": 0, "is_owner": 0, "handle": "anonymous-haggadah-urchatz", "title": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH - Urchatz", "author": "Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons & Significant Others", "author_handle": "jacs", "author_initials": "JA", "covertext": "URCHATZ The Leader of the Seder only, now washes his/her hands from an ewer into a bowl held by another celebrant, wipi...", "user_image": "https://assets.haggadot.com/users/104233/conversions/jacs-thumb.jpg", "user_image_original": "https://assets.haggadot.com/users/104233/jacs.jpg", "body": "URCHATZ \n\n\nThe Leader of the Seder only, now washes his/her hands from an ewer into a bowl held\nby another celebrant, wiping them dry on a hand towel. We have accepted the need for\nleadership, we wash the leaders's hands. This small, formal act of service is a symbol of\nour recognition of their leadership. This is an ancient Jewish ritual in and of itself. \nAt this point in the Seder, washing the hands has a specific purpose other than to\npunctuate and elect. It is a statement of purpose, an elevation from the mundane. It\nsymbolizes the wish to be relieved of the bondage of self. Before the Cohen (priest) could\nperform any of his duties in the Temple, he had to wash his hands and feet from the\ncopper urn in the courtyard. Silently he prayed as we do before we begin the Seder. \n\"Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Your will. Make me an\ninstrument of Your purpose, take away my difficulties that victory over them may bear\nwitness to those I would help of Your power, Your love and Your way of life\". \n\nThe Washing of hands refers back to the Great Copper Urn and further back to the Jewish\nwomen and the mirrors they used in Egypt. That was the prime example of an action that\nserved Hashem's purpose. The way water flows between the fingers as it passes over the\nhands leaving them cleansed, copies the action of lust as it flows through the body. Water\nalways tries to shed its energy and come to rest after doing so. So too do the sensations of\nlust and longing. \n\nWhen we eat dry foods, washing the hands is not necessary. But as soon as liquids are\ninvolved, as with the ritual of KARPAS we are about to perform when we will dip\nvegetables into salt water, we must prepare our hands by washing them. It is easily\nexplained in terms of hygiene and cleanliness. But in light of what we just said, it attains\na far deeper significance. Whenever hunger, lust or the expression of any of our needs\ncomes over us, we beg Hashem to help us express His will. We ask Him to ensure the lust\nor the hunger washes over us passing through our fingers. Leaving us cleansed the way\nwashing our hands does. \n\nWashing of hands, (before the advent of theories regarding hygiene) is a singularly\nJewish ritual with no counterpart in any contemporary or adjacent cultures and religion.\nGreeks and Romans had no such symbolical actions in their lives. So its real meaning is\nclosely reflected in the metaphor \"I wash my hands of it \". \n \n\n ", "cliptype": "text", "clipsource": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH", "featured": 1, "featuredIn": null, "is_public": 1, "is_published": 1, "media": { "image": null, "audio": null, "video": null }, "thumbnail": null, "clip_section": [ { "haggadah_section": "Urchatz", "slug": "urchatz" } ], "likes": 0, "downloads": 281, "tags": [ { "tag": "Urchatz", "slug": "urchatz" }, { "tag": "Sobriety", "slug": "sobriety" }, { "tag": "Recovery", "slug": "recovery" } ], "themes": [], "language": "0", "is_bookmarked": "0", "is_liked": 0, "meta_tags": { "title": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH - Urchatz | Passover haggadah by Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons & Significant Others", "description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. Find artwork, family", "keywords": "", "og:type": "article", "og:url": "https://www.haggadot.com/clip/anonymous-haggadah-urchatz", "og:title": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH - Urchatz | Passover haggadah by Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons & Significant Others", "og:description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. Find artwork, family", "og:image": "" } } }, { "clip": { "is_admin": 0, "is_owner": 0, "handle": "anonymous-haggadah-karpas", "title": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH - Karpas", "author": "Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons & Significant Others", "author_handle": "jacs", "author_initials": "JA", "covertext": " KARPAS Taking a very small piece of vegetable, less than the size of an olive, we dip it in salt water and eat it. T...", "user_image": "https://assets.haggadot.com/users/104233/conversions/jacs-thumb.jpg", "user_image_original": "https://assets.haggadot.com/users/104233/jacs.jpg", "body": " KARPAS \n\nTaking a very small piece of vegetable, less than the size of an olive, we dip it in salt\nwater and eat it. \nThis whets our appetite physically and intellectually. Even the child in us wakes up\nasking to be told the meaning. The KARPAS signals our bodies it is time to eat, it is after\nall an hors d'oeuvre. We snap alert, then tax all our powers of concentration in the Seder\nthat follows. The child has a short attention span and so we use tricks to keep the focus\non the real message. \nTaking food and dipping it in condiments is itself the essence of wealthy eating habits.\nOnly people with quantities of food and the time to enjoy it indulge in the practice of\nfiddling with bits of food. Is it not contradictory then to pretend we are poor slaves whilst\nplaying with food? Are we pretending to be slaves tonight? Are we playing? \nIt is possible to identify with feelings we had when we were slaves. We can contrast our\npresent situation with that we endured as slaves, abusing and being abused ourselves. The\nSeer is our qualification to be here. We are determined to identify our feelings, we are not\nabout to compare stories. \nLet the salt water point to the tears we have shed to earn our seat at the seder table. \nLet the salt point to the eternal bond of Hashem's covenant with Abraham and us. \nLet it point to the profoundest longing, the clutching sensation in our stomach, that we\nexperience in our longing for fulfillment. It is this which drives us onwards. \n\n18\n\nWe break the middle Matzo. \n", "cliptype": "text", "clipsource": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH", "featured": 0, "featuredIn": null, "is_public": 1, "is_published": 1, "media": { "image": null, "audio": null, "video": null }, "thumbnail": null, "clip_section": [ { "haggadah_section": "Introduction", "slug": "introduction" } ], "likes": 0, "downloads": 265, "tags": [], "themes": [], "language": "0", "is_bookmarked": "0", "is_liked": 0, "meta_tags": { "title": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH - Karpas | Passover haggadah by Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons & Significant Others", "description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. Find artwork, family", "keywords": "", "og:type": "article", "og:url": "https://www.haggadot.com/clip/anonymous-haggadah-karpas", "og:title": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH - Karpas | Passover haggadah by Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons & Significant Others", "og:description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. Find artwork, family", "og:image": "" } } }, { "clip": { "is_admin": 0, "is_owner": 0, "handle": "anonymous-haggadah-maggid", "title": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH - Maggid", "author": "Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons & Significant Others", "author_handle": "jacs", "author_initials": "JA", "covertext": " MAGID HA-LACHMA-ANYA The first Seder in its modern form was conducted on the road into Babylonian exile some 2500 yea...", "user_image": "https://assets.haggadot.com/users/104233/conversions/jacs-thumb.jpg", "user_image_original": "https://assets.haggadot.com/users/104233/jacs.jpg", "body": " MAGID \nHA-LACHMA-ANYA \nThe first Seder in its modern form was conducted on the road into Babylonian exile some\n2500 years ago. We had reached the nadir of our resources. Our homes were wrecked,\nour families torn apart, we had been stripped of all our pride. Nebuchadnezar was\nuprooting whole peoples, dispersing an entire Jewish population, dragging us into\nslavery. Bondage seemed to dog our steps, it was history repeating itself. We felt\npowerless. \n\nOur leaders however, made us aware in our despair that this was not a repetition of the\nEgyptian story. In tents open to weary travelers they prepared a seder. Inviting anyone\nwho cared to join, they prepared the Seder we are following now. \n\nThe experience, hope and faith we had acquired since leaving Egypt they shared with us\nthen on the road. They showed us, using the symbols on the Seder plate how different\nwere the circumstances of our present from our past. In Egypt we had no plans for a\nfuture. Now we had tools to fashion the raw material of our lives into a journey of the\nspirit. They taught us that we had the right to refuse the mythology of all propaganda. We\ncan give them the lie to their faces. For we are free people, we have the choices to choose\nand to change, we cannot be enslaved without our consent. \n\nSo we begin our recitation with an invitation in the dialect of common man. The Aramaic\ntongue was for thousands of years the Yiddish language of diaspora Jews. As English is \nto the reader of this Haggadah, was the Ha-Lachma-Anya of yesteryear. \"\nThis then is bread of poverty that our fathers ate in the land of Egypt.....\"\n\nLest there be those amongst us who feel trapped in the present, enslaved to a substance or\ndestructive behavior. The message is crystal clear: We have been there and this is our\nstory. \n\nThere is an interesting play on words, and a hint implicit in the text of the invitation. First\nand foremost, we have to hunger for the miracle to happen in our life. We have to want it\nmore than anything. Only then, the Haggadah tells us, All who need may come and\ncelebrate Pesach. You can have it if you want it. Do you want it? Needing it is just not enough. \nAre you ready to go to any lengths? \n\n\n\n", "cliptype": "text", "clipsource": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH", "featured": 0, "featuredIn": null, "is_public": 1, "is_published": 1, "media": { "image": null, "audio": null, "video": null }, "thumbnail": null, "clip_section": [ { "haggadah_section": "Maggid - Beginning", "slug": "maggid-beginning" } ], "likes": 0, "downloads": 271, "tags": [], "themes": [], "language": "0", "is_bookmarked": "0", "is_liked": 0, "meta_tags": { "title": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH - Maggid | Passover haggadah by Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons & Significant Others", "description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. Find artwork, family", "keywords": "", "og:type": "article", "og:url": "https://www.haggadot.com/clip/anonymous-haggadah-maggid", "og:title": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH - Maggid | Passover haggadah by Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons & Significant Others", "og:description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. Find artwork, family", "og:image": "" } } }, { "clip": { "is_admin": 0, "is_owner": 0, "handle": "anonymous-haggadah-four-questions", "title": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH - The Four Questions", "author": "Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons & Significant Others", "author_handle": "jacs", "author_initials": "JA", "covertext": " MA NISHTANA - The Four Questions Of people in recovery, others sometimes inquire. Why can't you just leave your past...", "user_image": "https://assets.haggadot.com/users/104233/conversions/jacs-thumb.jpg", "user_image_original": "https://assets.haggadot.com/users/104233/jacs.jpg", "body": " MA NISHTANA\n - The Four Questions \nOf people in recovery, others sometimes inquire. Why can't you just leave your past\nbehind you? Make a clean break, don't dwell in the past: rehashing it again and again.\nYou've stopped your habit, pulled yourself together. You're clean now, sober and\nrespectable. Why go back and sit in a room full of people like yourself, people who may\nstill be doing the crazy things you no longer do. Who are still the sick person you used to\nbe, talking it over and over and over? Is it healthy to live in the horror story? Look to the\nfuture. Don't talk about the past as though you had some kind of disease. You glorify the\nprogram and call it Recovery, treating it like a Dialysis machine or Iron Lung without\nwhich you could not live. Why can't you be like a normal person? \nThe youngest person sitting at the table is usually the first to ask the \"four questions\".\nThe youngest is usually the newcomer, and these questions are natural to the newcomer. \n\n1. Why is our disease so all-encompassing, so all-excluding? \n\nOther people have their hobbies, recreations, pleasures, how come we can't enjoy these\nthings like they do? Why did we have only \"THE BREAD OF OUR AFFLICTION\"?\nThe symbol we use for the object of our obsession is the unleavened bread - Matzo. Our\nworld had shrunk very small. \n\n2. How come there was no pleasure left in what we were doing? \n\nNo amount of \"acting out\" could rid us of our real feelings. Everything we did to relieve\nthe pain merely substituted or increased it. The symbol we use for the bitterness and pain\nis \"MAROR\" (bitter herbs). There are two more questions commonly asked by the newcomer.\nThey refer to the process of recovery. \n\n3. Why do we treat ourselves so well in Recovery? Why don't we just get on with\nlife? Why pay so much attention the way we feel? Whence the slogan EASY\nDOES IT? Surely a little more discipline, more will-power, a tougher daily\nregimen, all would work more efficiently than this gentle touch with which we\ntreat ourselves? \n\nThe relaxed attitude we adopt is symbolized by the \"CONDIMENTS\" (dipping food into\nfood.) \n\n4. Why do we take Recovery so slowly? Surely we ought to be rushing to get\nwell? We need fixing now! \n\nThe pace at which we expect changes to occur, is symbolized by the \"LEANING\".\nSprawling and reclining as though we were \"in our cups\". Why does all this take so\nlong? \n\n\n", "cliptype": "text", "clipsource": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH", "featured": 0, "featuredIn": null, "is_public": 1, "is_published": 1, "media": { "image": null, "audio": null, "video": null }, "thumbnail": null, "clip_section": [ { "haggadah_section": "-- Four Questions", "slug": "four-questions" } ], "likes": 0, "downloads": 246, "tags": [], "themes": [], "language": "0", "is_bookmarked": "0", "is_liked": 0, "meta_tags": { "title": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH - The Four Questions | Passover haggadah by Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons & Significant Others", "description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. Find artwork, family", "keywords": "", "og:type": "article", "og:url": "https://www.haggadot.com/clip/anonymous-haggadah-four-questions", "og:title": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH - The Four Questions | Passover haggadah by Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons & Significant Others", "og:description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. Find artwork, family", "og:image": "" } } }, { "clip": { "is_admin": 0, "is_owner": 0, "handle": "anonymous-haggadah-avadim-hayinu-maaseh-story", "title": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH - Avadim Hayinu & Ma'aseh: A Story", "author": "Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons & Significant Others", "author_handle": "jacs", "author_initials": "JA", "covertext": "AVADIM HAYINU WE WERE SLAVES The Answer is simple and we keep it simple. 1. We weren't just overdoing things a little,...", "user_image": "https://assets.haggadot.com/users/104233/conversions/jacs-thumb.jpg", "user_image_original": "https://assets.haggadot.com/users/104233/jacs.jpg", "body": "AVADIM\nHAYINU\n\nWE WERE SLAVES\n\nThe Answer is simple and we keep it simple. \n \n1. We weren't just overdoing things a little, we were slaves! And we were powerless.\nIt took the power of the Omnipotent Almighty to extract us from there. Which he\ndid with a mighty hand and an outstretched arm. So severely were we addicted to\nour own slavery and shame that if Hashem had not taken our forbearers out of\nEgypt then we would still be hopelessly enmeshed in that sickness and slavery.\nWe, ourselves and our children would be without Recovery. And such is the\nnature of this disease that we must constantly treat it by talking about it. It doesn't\nmatter whether we are clever, intuitive, experienced or whether we know the\nwhole program backwards, whether we can recite the Big Book by heart. We are\nstill commanded to share with others our Recovery. And the more meetings we\nattend the more praiseworthy we will be. \n \n2. The metaphor of the strong hand and the outstretched arm refers to the substance\nor activity to which we were addicted. The strong hand as explained later at\ngreater length, is the cessation of using or acting out our addiction. This is the first\nand most difficult step to take. \n \n3. The outstretched arm refers to the gradual separation and the distance we put\nbetween ourselves and the paraphernalia of addiction. The putting away of\npeople, places, and things. \n \n \nMAASEH - A STORY \nThe five Rabbis mentioned in this story were all in Recovery. \nRabbi Eliezer was wont to say, \n \n\"Live and let live,\" Don't be too quick to anger,\" \"Stay sober today before you die\" and\n\"Bask in the glow of the wise but beware lest you get too close and burn yourself\". \n \nHe, of course, had trouble in all these aspects of his personality. He argued with his\nfriends, tried to impress his will upon them, stubbornly refused to accept the majority\nruling, rationalized his disrespect of them and ended up excommunicated by them, totally\nisolated. \n \nRabbi Yehoshua was wont to say, \"Self-will run riot, the tendency to misanthropy, isolation and depression will kill a\nperson\". \n \nHe knew whereof he spoke. Rabbi Elazar ben Azaria was wont to say, \n\"One who talks the talk without walking the walk is like a big tree with lots of leaves but\nno roots. The first strong wind to blow will uproot it and throw it on it's face. He who\nwalks the walk more than he talks the talk is like a tree with few leaves but lots of roots.\nAll the ill winds in the universe won't move it from it's place. (But it doesn't provide\nmuch shade.)\" \n \nRabbi Akiva was a recovering Jew hater. Up to the age of 40 his anger at religious Jews\nwas murderous and fanatical. It was the unconditional love of his friend, later his wife\nRachel, which restored him to sanity, and the patience of his gentle teacher Nachum IshGamzu\nwhich turned this bellicose, belligerent ignoramus into an intellectual giant.\nHe retained his tendency to militancy all his life, allowed his vision to be clouded by his desires,\nmade political blunders, 24,000 of his disciples died of 'disrespect', and he was arrested,\nimprisoned and martyred by the Romans.\n \nRabbi Tarphon was an obsessive compulsive with a tendency to get bogged down in\ndetail and minutiae. Once at night on a dangerous stretch of road frequented by footpads\nand cutthroats, he lay on the ground in order to recite the Sh'ma according to the ruling of\nShammai. Boasting of the danger he had braved, his friends told him he needed help.\nThey warned him that what he was doing was not religious but compulsive and if he died\nhe wouldn't be a martyr, just another O.D. [overdose]. He was wont to say, \"You aren't\nresponsible for the results but you must put in the foot work. You don't even have to\nfinish what you're doing, just don't stop\". \n\nThese then are the Rabbis who sat all night talking about the EXODUS and their own\nRecovery. Careful examination of the text reveals a superfluous word. \nInstead of saying \"all that night\" it could have read \"all night\" the Hebrew word for 'that'\nmeans Him, each spoke for himself, and so they passed the whole night away until their\ndisciples came and said, \"Surely, Rabbis, by now you're all cured? Enough already\". \n\nREB ELAZAR BEN AZARIA \nRabbi Elazar said, \"I am like seventy years old\". Various reasons are proposed to explain\nthe way he looked. He was after all only 16 or 18 years old at the time he is quoted in this\nMishna. Rambam (Maimonedes) suggests Reb Elazar destroyed his physical health with\ncompulsive study of the Torah. Grueling stretches of non-stop study, indifferent nutrition,\nappalling conditions, insufficient rest and recreation...all of which accelerated the aging\nprocess. \n\nOthers claim it was a miracle! When he was appointed to head the Academy at this early\nage, he was granted instant distinction as all his hair turned white overnight. \nOr perhaps it was simply his response to being loaded with heavy responsibilities at such\na young age. Whatever the reason, Reb Elazar said, \"Even though I look the way I do I\ncouldn't convince the sages that talking about the Recovery from Egypt is mandatory at\nnight as well as during the day. When Ben Zoma introduced his exegesis of the verse,\netc.” We of course avoid projecting our legislation onto post-Messianic era. We take one day\nat a time, one night at a time and so the ruling has been accepted. We say the Sh'ma at\nnight, according to Ben Zoma. \n\nBORUCH HAMAKOM \nIn this paragraph we bless and thank Hashem, but we refer to Him as \"HAMAKOM\" i.e.\n\"The PLACE\". Hashem is the Lord of People, Places and Things. \n\nFirst, we bless Him for being there when we need Him and giving us somewhere\nelse to be instead of that place Egypt. \nSecond, we bless Him for being Hashem and giving us Himself instead of those\npeople and gods of the Egyptians. \nThird, we bless Him for giving us what we need to replace all the destructive\naddictive things in our lives, we thank Him for giving us the Torah, our program\nto live by on a daily basis. And then again, we thank Him for being Him. \n\n\n", "cliptype": "text", "clipsource": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH", "featured": 0, "featuredIn": null, "is_public": 1, "is_published": 1, "media": { "image": null, "audio": null, "video": null }, "thumbnail": null, "clip_section": [ { "haggadah_section": "Commentary / Readings", "slug": "commentary-readings" } ], "likes": 0, "downloads": 249, "tags": [], "themes": [], "language": "0", "is_bookmarked": "0", "is_liked": 0, "meta_tags": { "title": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH - Avadim Hayinu & Ma'aseh: A Story | Passover haggadah by Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons & Significant Others", "description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. Find artwork, family", "keywords": "", "og:type": "article", "og:url": "https://www.haggadot.com/clip/anonymous-haggadah-avadim-hayinu-maaseh-story", "og:title": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH - Avadim Hayinu & Ma'aseh: A Story | Passover haggadah by Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons & Significant Others", "og:description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. Find artwork, family", "og:image": "" } } }, { "clip": { "is_admin": 0, "is_owner": 0, "handle": "anonymous-haggadah-four-children", "title": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH - The Four Children", "author": "Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons & Significant Others", "author_handle": "jacs", "author_initials": "JA", "covertext": " THE FOUR SONS There are four kinds of Sons referred to in the Torah regarding THE PRIMARY PURPOSE of carrying the messa...", "user_image": "https://assets.haggadot.com/users/104233/conversions/jacs-thumb.jpg", "user_image_original": "https://assets.haggadot.com/users/104233/jacs.jpg", "body": " THE FOUR SONS\nThere are four kinds of Sons referred to in the Torah regarding THE PRIMARY\nPURPOSE of carrying the message. These are the four personality types in and out of\nRecovery to whom we can convey the message. \n\n1. The cleverdik, fiercely intellectual, much too smart for his own good and\nterminally unique. \n2. The one who thinks he's too wicked for it to work for him. \n3. The newcomer, barely coherent, totally beaten and ready. \n4. The one who's still out there, who can't stop and desperately wants help.\n\nTHE CLEVER ONE SAYS MAH! \"WHAT\" \nHe uses the word \"What\" in the deprecatory was that Moshe used it when he asked: \"And\nwhat are we that you rebel against us?\" \n\n\"So what's the big deal?\" asks the cleverdik. \"What are these testaments, statutes and\nlaws that Hashem has commanded you?\"\nFrom his use of the word \"you\" in the question, we can infer his real needs. He's scared.\nHe is like the arrogant addict who walks into the room, reads the 12 steps and says, \"Is\nthat all you have to do?\" \nHis error is twofold. He thinks he's too clever for such a simple program to work in his\nlife, and he thinks he can do it on his own. \nThe Haggadah tells us, \n\"You should also say to him\".\nThe word \"also\" seems superfluous. The Hebrew word for also \"Af\" has another,\nemotional, meaning. \"Af\" means heavy-nasal-breathing-anger. The attitude of the\ncleverdik will often infuriate, frustrate and invoke anger in us. We have all been in his\nposition. \n\n\nIn response the Haggadah warns us to be gentle. The Hebrew word for \"SAY\", \"EMOR\"\nis the softest, lightest form of address as opposed to \"speak\" or \"tell\"....Gently is the only\nway to carry the message. \nAnd the Message is All the laws of Pesach including what happens after the seder is over.\nWe tell him, \"You can't do it on your own\". Almost the first law of Pesach is that you\nrequire a group. One person can't eat the Paschal lamb; it must be celebrated en masse.\nGroups of people whose only requirement is a desire to join may come together in the\nRitual of Sharing. \n\"If any of them is missing, let the whole group be concerned.\" says the Mishna... You\ncannot bake matzos on your own... You cannot escape from Egypt on your own... So\ndon't say \"You\"; say \"Us\". \nFinally we tell him, the reason it works is because we take it with us when we leave here.\nEven when the seder is over we don't eat anything else, that the taste of Recovery we\nhave shared remains with us until we meet again. Therefore we eat no dessert after the\nPaschal lamb. \n\nTHE WICKED ONE SAYS MAH! \"WHAT\" \nHe uses the word \"what\" Mah in the sense that Yaakov (Jacob) used it when he\nexclaimed, \"What an awesome place this is\". \n\n\"What an awesome program this is you work.” says the wicked son. \n\nHe thinks everyone in recovery must be adhering to some impossible program of\nperfection. (From which he is excluded by virtue of his irredeemability) He also, in an\ninverted grandiosity, no less annoying than the cleverdik, considers himself more unique\nthan anyone else. However bad you think a person might be, he's just worse. \nIn essence our response is to identify with him. Yes! We too felt that way. In fact we all\nfelt the same way, unsalvageable and despicable. In those days we thought we were G-D,\nso if we couldn't do it who could? \nThat's why Hashem brought us out, doing for us what we couldn't do for ourselves. We\nblunt his argument, we take the bite out of his snarl, we tell him \n\"Because of this\" The seder we're having now. \"Hashem did for us\". The reason He did\nfor us was that we might carry the message of Recovery to you, not because we were any\nbetter than you. \n\n\"What does he think?” we ask \"For us and not for him?\" Does he really believe Hashem\nwould have left him in Egypt? Does he think he's irredeemable? He obviously never met\nus before. \nIn the quote which we put to him, \n\"Because of this, Hashem did for me when I came out of Egypt\".\nThe word \"Did\" is ambiguous. The Hebrew for \"Did\" is \"ASA\" It means a very earthy\nform of creativity like the making of Man himself (e.g., when the word ASA is used in\nNasa Adam, \"Let us make man\"). \nIt also refers to the final act of creation which is speech. What Hashem \"did\" for me was\nto verbalize all the pain which I could not speak for myself. This, we tell the so-called\nwicked son, is what Hashem did for me. He taught me the words with which to express\nmy feelings. \n \nTHE SIMPLE ONE SAYS MAH! \"WHAT\" \nThe simple one uses \"What\" in the sense that Yirmuyahu (Jeremiah) used it when he\nlamented, \"Remember, Oh G-D, What happened to us?\" \n\n\"Just what is this?\" asks the simple son. He is openminded and willing to listen, to learn.\nWhy the seder? Why the exodus? Why the slavery? \nTo him we say: \"We were powerless. It was Hashem's strong arm that brought us out of\nEgypt, out of slavery\". \nAdmitting powerlessness is our first step. If we won't admit it, we can't get help, you have\nto lose to win. \nTam, the Simple one is ready to hear this message, his name implies it. Tam in Hebrew\nand all Semitic languages means \"The End\" an unequivocal finality. He is finished,\nbeaten, willing and ready. \nThe Tam actually says \"What's this?\" Mah Zos. The word Zos \"THIS\" refers to the\nRecovery known in Hebrew as \"Teshuva\" more commonly translated as \"Repentance\".\nThe three elements in the classic description of Teshuva are \nRepentance, Prayer and Charity.\nThese are the building blocks of the 12 steps. \n\nWe Confess, Admit, Come to believe. \n\n\nWe become willing, grow humble, make restitution. We Pray and Meditate and we carry\nthe message. Another description of Teshuva uses words of Cabalistic significance and\nGematraic equivalence. \n1. KOL = VOICE = 136 \n2. T'ZOM = FASTING = 136 \n3. MAMON = MONEY = 136 \n4. ZOS = THIS = 408 \nZOS is a name for the \"Shechina\" It refers to the manifestation of Hashem in the world of\nman. The dwelling place. The raison d'etre. The Inexplicable meaning of life. Recovery is\nthe reason for the creation of the universe. Why did Hashem allow life to evolve to the\npoint where all the symmetries have broken? All the parities are gone? Even the Universe\nis no longer evenhanded. Man is the destroyer, so why did Hashem settle upon us? \nLook at us in recovery and the answer is self evident. The fixing! \nNot the Fix, not the fixation. Repairing, recovering, that's the meaning of life. \nWhen the Simpleton asks his simple question, he is being the most profound and\ncomplex. \nMAH ZOS, \"What is ZOS?\" \nTHE ONE WHO CAN'T ASK - SH'EYNO YODAYA LISHOL \nYou must carry the message to the one who can't ask for help. \nThat is our primary purpose as it is written: \" And you shall tell it to your child on that\nday, saying: Because of This, Hashem did for me, when I came out of Egypt\". \nThis is exactly what we told the wicked one when he asked his question, the message is\nidentical: \"It works! Look at me, I'm not a slave. I am free. You too can be free. \nThis is why Hashem brought me all this way, so that I could bring this message to you\". \nIn fact we tell him the Haggadah. \n\n\nYOCHOIL - I MIGHT HAVE THOUGHT \nSince it is written, \"You shall tell the Haggadah to your child\" I might have thought any\ntime in the spring around Pesach time is a good opportunity to talk about the miracle of\nRecovery. Therefore the Torah states specifically, \n\n\"On that day\".\nSo now I know a more specific period. However, I might have thought that day-time,\nwhilst going about the business of preparing for Yom Tov would be a good opportunity\nto say the Haggadah, to talk about Recovery: Whilst we are cleaning the house for\nPesach. \nTherefore the Torah states precisely; \n\"You shall tell the Haggadah to your child, on that day, saying \"Because of this Hashem\ndid for me when I came out of Egypt\".\nI can only say \"Because of this\" at the formal seder when the symbols of the Seder,\nMatzo and Maror, the symbols of slavery and freedom are clearly visible. We need to\nstay in touch with the fundamentals of the program. \"We must keep it green\". It must not\nbecome some abstract journey we talk about. Let's keep it real and tangible to all our\nsenses. \n\n\n\n", "cliptype": "text", "clipsource": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH - The Four Children", "featured": 0, "featuredIn": null, "is_public": 1, "is_published": 1, "media": { "image": null, "audio": null, "video": null }, "thumbnail": null, "clip_section": [ { "haggadah_section": "Commentary / Readings", "slug": "commentary-readings" } ], "likes": 0, "downloads": 249, "tags": [], "themes": [], "language": "0", "is_bookmarked": "0", "is_liked": 0, "meta_tags": { "title": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH - The Four Children | Passover haggadah by Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons & Significant Others", "description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. Find artwork, family", "keywords": "", "og:type": "article", "og:url": "https://www.haggadot.com/clip/anonymous-haggadah-four-children", "og:title": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH - The Four Children | Passover haggadah by Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons & Significant Others", "og:description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. Find artwork, family", "og:image": "" } } }, { "clip": { "is_admin": 0, "is_owner": 0, "handle": "anonymous-haggadah-ten-plagues-diyanu-misc", "title": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH - Ten Plagues, Diyanu, Misc.", "author": "Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons & Significant Others", "author_handle": "jacs", "author_initials": "JA", "covertext": " IN THE BEGINNING - MITCHILO When we were commanded to tell the Haggadah to our children this is what was being referred...", "user_image": "https://assets.haggadot.com/users/104233/conversions/jacs-thumb.jpg", "user_image_original": "https://assets.haggadot.com/users/104233/jacs.jpg", "body": " IN THE BEGINNING - MITCHILO\nWhen we were commanded to tell the Haggadah to our children this is what was being\nreferred to. The actual Haggadah begins here. The word Haggadah means \"Tough talk\".\nHard words to swallow: \"Words, hard as sinews\". \nWhat could be so unpalatable and indigestible about the Haggadah story? More than just\nthe admission of powerlessness it must be our level of depravity that embarrasses us. \nThis isn't the story of our struggle to get out of Egypt. The Exodus was not a civil rights\nmarch. We weren't fighting anyone. This is not our struggle for the right to equality or\nfreedom of religion. This is a story of events as they really occurred. Our contribution to\nthe whole saga is not a noble one. \nTo understand anything about our history, put it in the context of daily commerce in a\ncivilization of Bronze-age Mesopotamians and Egyptians 1800-1300 B.C.E. Let us\nexamine for a moment one aspect of life in that epoch. What did they invent for \"Kicks\"? \nThe overwhelming mood and mind-altering experience of ancient times was idol worship\nin all its multifarious forms. But most modern people would be disgusted by the worship\nof idols of yesteryear. \nPeople had pathological relationships with it. They persisted in practicing its worship in\nthe face of all evidence that it was harmful to their physical, mental and spiritual health. \nHigh on the list of contemptible people are the panders and purveyors to death-dealing\nhabits. Be they crack dealers, tobacco houses, sugar barons, propagandists, polluters or\ntelevangelists. \nWell, the bad news is that we were up there on the list of exploiters. Our family business\nwas the making and distribution of idols and fetishes. We had the local franchise\ndealership in Ur of the Chaldees. \nThe good news is that now Hashem has attached us to His worship as it is written. \nJoshua said to all the people, \"These are the words of Adonai the G-D of Israel: \"Over the\nriver lived your ancestors from time immemorial. Terach father of Abraham and Nachor.\nAnd they worshipped other gods. I acquired your father, taking Abraham from the other \n\n\nside of the river and walking him through all the Land of Canaan. I increased his seed and\nI gave him Issac. To Issac I gave Jacob and Esau. I gave Mount Seir to Esau as an\ninheritance, Jacob and his sons went down into Egypt\". \nBLESSED IS THE KEEPER OF PROMISES \n(a) Blessed is the keeper of promises to Israel! \nIs there a suggestion here that Hashem doesn't always keep His promises? \n(b) Because the Holy Blessed One calculated the end, to do... \nWhat is the connection between this and the previous statement? What promise to Israel\nis being referred to here in the text? In the recorded history of Israel before the Exodus,\nno where do we find such a promise made to them. To who, was the promise made? and\nwhat is the meaning of the phrase; \"calculated the end, to do\"? To do what? \nThe Haggadah is referring to mysteries spoken about by the Kabbalists. \"The last action\nin the first thought\" -- the last action was the evolution of Israel. \nIn classical antiquity Israel was a very late development. By tradition, we were, in fact,\nthe last to evolve. The End, as it were, of the evolutionary process of creation, of\nnationhood, of language and culture. \n\"The promise to Israel\" is the promise Hashem made to Himself to create Israel. The first\nword of the Torah, \"B'RAISHIS\" \"In the Beginning\" refers to Israel who are called\n\"Raishis\". Because \"T'shuvah\" Recovery, which is reason for the creation, is also called\n\"Raishis\". \nThe final act Hashem did was the evolution of Israel, but it was His primary purpose For\nT'shuvah is the primary purpose. For Israel carries the message which is the enormous\nwealth referred to at the end of the paragraph. We were given this wealth during the\nExodus in two parts. \n\"And the Children of Israel came through the sea on dry land\" (Exodus 14:22). \nWere they in the sea or were they on dry land? asks the Midrash, continuing: \"From here\nwe learn that each individual had to throw himself into the sea before it parted\". \nNachshon Ben Aminadav, prince of the tribe of Judah was first to jump into the sea. It\nreached his nostrils before splitting for him. Did Nachshon know what would happen or\nwas he committing suicide? Did all those who followed, the six hundred thousand, did\nthey know the sea would split or did they expect to drown? Were they expecting some\nsort of miracle to occur? \n\n\nAnother question that begs to be asked, concerns the \"Great Wealth\" promised to our\nFather Abraham, which was brought out of Egypt. \nIt is well known that when the Jewish people left Egypt, they emptied it of treasure,\nleaving it like an ocean without fish. There was nothing left for them to borrow or take.\nYet we are told that seven days later Moshe had to drive them away from the scene of the\nSplitting of the Red Sea, that they were so busy plundering the booty, stripping the\ncorpses of the Egyptian dead that they would not move on. Furthermore we are told: the\nvalue of the spoil picked at the seashore was hundreds of times greater than the loot\nhauled out of Egypt. The Midrash makes a ratio comparison as that of dots of silver to\nlines of gold. How empty could Egypt have been, if there yet remained the vast treasure\ncarried by the pursuing army which later drowned in the sea? \nThe answer is of course that there is treasure and then there is treasure! \nWhat so precious was it we brought out of Egypt with us on the first night of Pesach?\nWhat could possibly have been worth those hundreds of tormented years, the slavery, the\npain or the degradation? \nFirst of all we realized that we could not manage our own lives. Intelligent and well\nmeaning though we were, children of the Holy Patriarchs and Matriarchs, twelve tribes of\nG-D, alone we were not enough. Nothing we ourselves were capable of was going to stop\nour descent to the lowest depths of defilement. \nThis may seem at first glance like a very unpretentious truth. Until you realize that many\na civilization has gone from evolution to extinction with no inkling of its implication. \nSecondly, we in Egypt came to believe that a only a power infinitely greater than\nourselves was capable of managing, maintaining a sane balance and governing our life's\naffairs. Throughout the year that revealed the Ten Plagues, we became imbued with the\nprofound awareness that the G-D of our Fathers is the Creator of the World, and no one\nelse. That we had failed in all our attempts to control our Egyptianization. That while it is\ntrue we had not intermarried, we'd maintained our identity as the Children of Israel, we\nspoke Hebrew and dressed as Jews. \nIt was not enough. If there are 50 gates of disgust we had passed through 49 of them. We\ncould not and cannot do it on our own, we are powerless. In order to be delivered out of\nEgypt we would need the Almighty to act as midwife. To have our Jewish gold separated\nfrom the dross that was Egypt we would need an omnipotent, caring and loving G-D.\nWhat priceless knowledge this is. \nNow to return to the question we asked at the outset, what happened at the sea? \nKnowing intellectually that something is true, is only the first step. Being able to act on\nthat knowledge is a much more difficult matter. What happens when our fears meet our \nchallenges? There we were at the Red Sea, the Egyptian cavalry and army bearing down\non us, there was nowhere to run. \nMoshe said \"Hashem has said \"Be quiet\" He will do the fighting for you. Why are you\ncrying at me? Tell the children of Israel to begin moving\". \nThis was the first real moment in history when our fears met a challenge. It was a\ntriumphant moment because we made the decision to turn our will and life over to the\ncare of Hashem. To answer the question; did Nachshon know the sea was going to split\nfor him? He didn't stop to ask. Turning life over to the care of G-D, precludes such\nmeaningless speculation. \nWhen I know I'm being taken care of, what does it matter whether I'm being told to walk\nor stand still? To jump into the sea or into the flames? When it was all over, when we\nbegan realizing what had happened to us, the jump we had made, the quantum leap, the\npurest act of faith, we couldn't get over it. We sat together on the seashore going over it,\nagain and again. \nThis was wealth beyond anything we had dreamed. That we could give up managing our\nown lives and turn it over to the care of a kind, caring, loving G-D? It was totally\nunprecedented. It was revolutionary. It was even greater wealth than we had brought out\nof Egypt with us. Moshe had to get us moving, urging us away from there. He knew it\nwas not the end of our spiritual journey, there was more to come. \nIt is said that the riches we brought out of Egypt was given us in the merit of the women,\nwhile the riches we acquired at the Sea was in the merit of the men. The hidden meaning\nis this. The realization we were out of control, that only Hashem could straighten us out,\nwas achieved passively. We did no more than watch the plagues befall the Egyptians. It\ntook no participation on our part. \nPassivity is often symbolized in Jewish stories by 'woman'. The realization we could\nmake leaps of faith required action on our part. We ourselves had to do the jumping,\nintellectualizing about faith in G-D wouldn't save us. Action is denoted in this story by\nthe symbol 'man'. \nI. One is known as the Plunder of Egypt which refers to our realization of the first\ntwo steps. \nFirst, we realized how powerless we were, then we realized that a power greater than\nourselves could restore us to sanity. \nII. The second installment of riches is referred to as the Plunder of the Red Sea. \nWe were faced with the Egyptian army, whose only thought was our annihilation. Behind\nus was the sea. We felt trapped and desperate. We cried to Moshe; he cried to Hashem.\nHe told Moshe to tell us not to worry, \n\n\n\"Just let go, let G-D. All you have to do is start walking\". \nInstead of crying out again, \"where shall we walk to\"? We turned our will and lives over\nto the care of Hashem and started walking into the sea. We walked until the water came\nup to our nostrils without looking back. And the waters parted. \nThis knowledge that we could turn our will and life over was the greatest wealth we\ncould ever have been given, and we are told that the Plunder of the Sea was more\nvaluable even than the Plunder of Egypt. \nThe first installment of riches is known as the \"Women's\" meaning that it is passively\nacquired. \n1. We admitted we were powerless... \n2. We came to believe....... \n\nThe second part is known as the \"men's\" since it requires action. \n\n3. We made a decision.... \nThe textual ambiguities in this paragraph are too numerous to elucidate individually and\ntheir translation into English would require further explanations and commentaries. So\nmuch is left for those who want to learn of the mysteries of the Kabala and more will be\nrevealed. \nThe word \"Kaitz\" \"end\" has a numerical value of 190 which was the number of years\nspent developing the latent personalities of the slaves we later became. We were in Egypt\nonly for 210 years. \nThe 190 years previous to that is calculated from the birth of Yitzchak and goes to make\nup the 400 years of exile, promised to Abraham. In fact our problems all began with the\nbirth of Yitzchak. \n\"And they will be slaves to them and they will oppress them four hundred years\". \nIt is not clear who will oppress whom and who will suffer the most. \n\"And also the nation they serve I will judge\". \nHashem promised to be judgmental also to the Egyptians. He was most judgmental about\nus. In fact the vast majority of us never made it into Recovery and four-fifths of us died\nin the days of darkness during the Plague of Darkness. The percentages haven't changed\nmuch over the millennia. \n\"Hashem calculated the end to do\". \n\n35\n4. In the world of the Kabbala, words have meanings within meanings. \"ASA\" \"to\ndo\" appears a number of times in the story of the Exodus. It refers to the fourth\nand final stage of development in the creation. ASIYA, DOING, is the ultimate\npurpose and meaning of the creation. T'shuva, fixing, recovery, is likewise the\nultimate meaning. We Israel are the Ultimate meaning, we are ASIYA. Now in\nthe order of the Kabbala, the order of creation is formalized thus; corresponding\nto the four stages of thought into speech: \n1) Unconscious thought, inspirational. \n2) Conscious creative thought. \n3) Rational, reflective, selective thought, and \n4) Speech. \nCorresponding to the four words ATZILUTH, B'RIYAH, YETZIRA, and finally ASIYA,\neach is a form of creativity but ASIYA is the most tangible, as speech is the most tangible\nthought. \nCorresponding to this are four stages of Recovery: \n1) We were relieved of the obsession, \n2) We made decisions to change our lives and take steps, \n3) We took those steps, one at a time and finally; \n4) We carried the message. \n\"When Hashem did for me\" intimates at these processes. \nTHIS IS WHAT STOOD BY OUR FATHERS - V'HEE SH'OMDO \n(We lift the cup and hold it in the palm of our hand as we recite this chapter.) \nThe promise to Israel which the \"Keeper of Promises\" made is what has stood as a\nbeacon for us, a guarantee of continuity. \nWe lift the cup to remind us of the second term \"V'hitzalty\", \"And I saved you\". The\nHoly-One-Blessed-is-He saves us again and again. In this context, Hatzala refers to the\nintimacy we enjoy with our savior. We need keep no secrets. We may feel ashamed at the\nthought that again and again we dream of \"using\". It wasn't only in Egypt that we were\nslaves, we relapsed again and again. Each time our enemies rejoiced in our slavery and\neach time they saw us recover. \n\n\nEvery time it happens, they think to hold us in the palm of their hands. But before they\ncan squeeze and crush us we are gone, for Hashem holds us in the palm of His hand. \nThe word used in the text is \"AMAD\" \"Stood\". \nPerils arise and stand over us, threatening to destroy us. Not just in Pharaoh's Egypt but\nin every generation new substances, and new habits each with life-threatening\nconsequences seems about to engulf us. And the Holy One save us again, His promise\nlooms every bit as large and powerful as any threat. \nGO OUT AND LEARN - TZAY U'LMAD \nGo out and learn what Lavan the Arami plotted to do to Yaakov our father. He was worse\nthan Pharaoh who only wanted to kill the males. Lavan tried to uproot us completely.\nPharaoh hated us as a people, Lavan hated us as an idea. To glimpse how profound such\nhatred can be it is necessary to project ourselves beyond the present moment and imagine\nas it were the world without all possibility of redemption. Lavans' world. \nLavan was the brother of Rivka (Rebecca) wife of Yitzchak. When Eliezer, Avraham's\nservant, went to Mesopotamia to betroth Rivka as a bride for Yitzchak, Lavan tried to\npoison him so that no Jewish nation could be born. \nLater Yaakov (Lavan's nephew) came to Lavan looking for a wife for himself. He fell in\nlove with Rachel, Lavan's daughter, but was tricked into marrying Leah. Lavan was\ndesperate to prevent the marriage of Yaakov and Rachel, for they would give birth to\nJoseph and the hope of redemption from Egypt. To Benjamin and the hope for ultimate\nredemption. Lavan tried 100 ways to cheat Yaakov out of every possible joy and profit,\nbut he never succeeded because Yaakov was such a straightforward man and because\nHashem took charge of his affairs and caused them to prosper. \nLavan hated Yaakov and everything he stood for; as it is written, \"the Aramaian loathed\nmy father\". It was only the promise that Hashem has made to Himself, regarding Israel\nthat stood us in good stead. \nThe rest of this verse quoted in the text segues neatly into the Haggadah and the story of\nthe Exile into Egypt, as it continues: \n\"And he went down into Egypt, and he sojourned there, small in number, And became\nthere a great nation, powerful and numerous\". \nWhat follows is a note on how we came to be in Egypt. Don't think we went willingly.\nOh No! We were forced down by the word of the Almighty. Don't think we went down\ninto Egypt intending to stay there. No! We went down merely to sojourn as it is\nwritten...etc. \n\n37\nDid all this hesitation and reticence prevent us becoming enmeshed in the experience of\nEgypt and the subsequent slavery? The answer to that is history. \nMany of us began using a medication at the express prescription of a medical\npractitioner, many of us began eating simply to assuage a ravening hunger. Many of us\nwere genuinely angry at something in our lives which needed charge. The end result was\nalways the same. The medication became a habit, the meal became a binge, the anger\nbecame abusive rage, friendship became obsession, the rules changed as we were playing\nand we never noticed. \n\n\nAs it is written: \nSMALL IN NUMBER\n\"Seventy souls your fathers went down into Egypt\". \nSeventy seems to be a pivotal number in the Jewish story. Seventy is the minimum\nnumber of people who can represent Israel, there were seventy elders of the people. There\nare seventy interpretations to the Torah. \n70 languages. \n70 nations. \n70 letters in the ineffable name of Hashem. \n70 sparks of Holiness scattered in the shattering of vessels, which describes the fall of\nAdam and Chava (Eve), and the expulsion from the garden of Eden. \nSignificantly, Yocheved, mother of Miriam Aharon and Moshe, was born in between the\nwalls of the city as they arrived. Yocheved was the last of the 70. I think that there are\nprobably 70 addictions. \nBECAME A NATION \nWe didn't quite fit into the Egyptian lifestyle. Try as we might we could never quite get\ncomfortable, always feeling outside the mainstream. The story that follows depicts the\nbeginning of our slavery. We may have tried to assimilate, we began doing things\ncontrary to our nature simply to be more like the Egyptians. We experimented with their\nideas, trying to absorb and be absorbed by their culture. All we got was the poisonous\npropaganda and none of the benefits. They denied us citizenship and gave birth to us\ninstead of melting us down. As a grain of irritating sand in the stomach of the oyster, we\nbecame a pearl. We stuck out. Egypt became our womb, the crucible of our shape. \nAND I PASSED OVER YOU \n\"I saw you wallowing in your blood. And I said to you, \"By your blood shall ye live\".\nAnd I said to you \"By your blood shall ye live.'\" \nThis is an important rule in Recovery. Are we prepared to go to any lengths? \nWill we chase serenity as we chased our Anodyne of choice? Are we prepared to carry\nthe message to others the way it was carried to us? \n\n\n\"The message is clear\" Says Hashem. \"Either you invest your blood in this mission I give\nyou, or else you'll live by your blood\". \nAND THE EGYPTIANS PLOTTED EVIL AGAINST US \nAs it is written: \n\"Let us be crafty, lest they multiply. And it will happen if the opportunity arises, a\nwar will break out and they will join our enemies and fight us and leave the land\".\n\nThis is the description of the onset of the disease. The behavior or habit takes on a guile\nand cunning as though it were part of a master plan. Powerful and baffling! \nSo it was with the Egyptians. They did whatever they had to, making sure not to spook us\ninto refusing. Once we were hooked, they led us gently by the nose down the path to the\npoint where we no longer had a choice but to do as we were told. They gave us important\ntasks to perform, granaries and treasuries to build, told us how well we were doing, how\nmuch they needed us. They told us that what we were paying them in labor was just\ntaxes. As it is written: \n\"And they appointed tax collectors over them\". \n\"They gave us hard work\". \n\"And the Egyptians worked the Children of Israel harshly\". \nThe midrash tells us that at first all Egyptians gathered to make bricks. Pharaoh himself\nrolled up his sleeves and played in the mud with us making bricks. We thought we were\ndoing no more than our patriotic duty. \nThe actual Hebrew word for harshly is PARECH which is made up of two separate\nwords, PEH-RACH meaning \"gentle mouth\". This is how addiction always begins. It\nfeels good. Softly we were seduced into a life that became increasingly harsh and\noppressive. Which of us doesn't remember how hard we worked to stay out there? \n\n\n\nAND WE CRIED OUT\nAnd we cried to Hashem G-D of our Fathers. We did not cry to our own personal G-D.\nWe had no G-D. We were devoid of any conscious contact with Hashem. We had no\ninterior vision and faith in a Higher Power. The spiritual path of prayer and meditation\nwas not yet open to us. \nThe closest we could get was to cry to the G-D of our Fathers. \nWe knew that Avraham, Yitzchok and Yaakov had a very personal relationship with\nHashem. They tried to pass that information on to us, but we had to go the long way\naround and make our own journey. \nMost of us are familiar with \"foxhole prayers\". Promising all manner of things to Hashem\nif only He will save us this one more time. \n\"And Hashem heard our voices\". It does not say \"He heard our prayers\" since they were\nhardly that. We were incoherent, in great pain. We did the most we could do, reaching\nout and asking for help. No newcomer can do more. \nHE SAW OUR PAIN \nThis is the loss of intimacy as it is written: \n \"And Hashem saw the Children of Israel and Hashem knew\". \nThe word 'know' has sexual connotations, as it is written: \n\"And Adam knew his wife and she conceived and bore him a son\". \nAddiction leads to the place where ultimately nothing remains of the joys and pleasures\nwe take for granted. Intimacy and addiction are mutually exclusive, for it is accompanied\nby high levels of core shame. Intimacy sets the stage for risking exposure and nakedness.\nIntimacy uncovers the core self which the addict can never risk for fear of rejection. \nThe next thing we lost were our children. We mirrored no one and no one mirrored us. \n\n\nKabbalistically, 'Son' symbolizes kindness. What remained was unbalanced fear\nsymbolized by 'Daughter'. All the drugs and behaviors we abused have vicious sideeffects.\nMore so because\nthey are distorted\nbalances\nof emotions\nand sensations.\nDrugs\n\nfamous\nfor inducing\neuphoria left\nus severely depressed, whilst\nthose famous\nfor making\n\nus\nreckless left us shrill with paranoia. Killing\nthe\nmales\nand leaving the females\nis\nanother\nexample of imbalance.\nThe pain was intense. \nHashem also saw the pressure we were under. No one but an addict in search of a fix,\nfeeding a habit, desperately searching for validation, comfort or relief, knows the\nmeaning of pressure. What incredible lengths we went to just to avoid the inevitable. We\nwillingly trod the treadmill of unreality to avoid facing ourselves. Our hunger was a\nravenous beast we desperately tried to keep sedated. The sheer energy expenditure\ninvolved in remaining \"out there\" far exceeds the most arduous lifestyle we work at in\nRecovery. \nHASHEM TOOK US OUT OF EGYPT \nIt wasn't a medical doctor or psychiatrist. It wasn't a judge or probation officers. Hashem\ndidn't send any of the counselors, advisors or representatives He has it at His command. \nIn His Glory and Solitary Majesty He brought us out of Egypt. As it is written: \"And I\npassed through the Land of Egypt this night\". \nThis night refers to the addiction which is the true exile in darkness. \n1. Egypt, the seduction of abandonment to the world of slavery is the Place which\nwe now had the power to resist. \"And I smote every firstborn in the land of\nEgypt\". \n2. Firstborn refers to the glittering pantheon of illusory hyped-up irresistible People\nwhom we now had the power to resist. \"And all the idols of Egypt I judged and\nexecuted\". \n3. Idols refers to all the ephemeral objects of our obsession, Things to which we\nimagined ourselves eternally enslaved. \"I am Hashem\". I can restore you to\nsanity. \" No one else\". \n\nHashem brought us out of Egypt with: \n1) A mighty hand. \n2) An outstretched arm. \n3) Fearsome greatness. \n4) Signs. \n5) Wonders. \n\n42\nWITH A MIGHTY HAND \nThis is the Pestilence. Pestilence was real in Egypt, for us now let it be a metaphor. \nThe five descriptions of Hashem's power correspond to the\nfive stages of Recovery from\nany form of addiction, obsession or compulsion that the disease may take. \nThe first steps we took,\nled to the cessation of our acting out behavior. We had to stop using before we could\nrecover, but we lived to use as much as we used to live. Sobriety, abstinence, solvency or\nwhatever recovery we sought required first the Mighty hand of Hashem. This is the\nmighty hand referred to in the Haggadah. Just saying NO! is a very difficult action to\ntake. \nA symbol of just how difficult is the Pestilence, the sudden death of all our props and\ncrutches. Everything we relied upon died or was jerked out from beneath us. In an age\nwhere everything from running water to agriculture to transportation and clothing\ndepended on beasts of burden and domestic animals, the instantaneous death of cattle,\nlivestock, horses, asses, camels, sheep and goats, was catastrophic. This is what it was\nlike to stop using. \nThe second stage of recovery\nis the Outstretched arm, symbolized by the cutting sword. We begin to cut ourselves off\nfrom the people, places and things associated with our addiction. If we don't make this\nbreak, odds are we will relapse. Pushing away from ourselves all the accouterments and\nparaphernalia of using. We begin by holding them at arm's length. We are still fascinated\nand obsessed by them. \n\nWith the third stage of recovery\ncomes great fear, symbolized by the \"Shechina\", the Divine Presence, awareness. As we\ngo beyond earliest recovery, distancing ourselves a little from the whole experience, we\nencounter fear of returning and relapsing. The fear of our vulnerability. Fears of many\nvarieties surface. We discover that the whole fabric of our lives has been shot through\nwith fear. We feel defenseless and naked. Stripped of our armor, we a gripped by terror\nfor our lives. We know that without help from somewhere, we must surely go back to a\nlife of using. This fear is a natural, healthy and defensive response to the reality of\nweakness when we consider the life-threatening nature of our disease. Fear for the loss of\nsobriety can be a valuable tool in staying \"clean\". \n\nThe fourth stage is \nThe Sign, the image of the external power which keeps us from hurting ourselves. The\nalmost tangible, visible, physical guarantee of safety. The object of our desperate whiteknuckled\n\"hanging on\" through the turbulence of\nRecovery. The symbol\nis a staff. \nThe Hebrew word for staff is; MATEH which besides meaning staff, also means TRIBE.\nThe words \"staff\" and \"tribe\" are interchangeable since the staff is actually a symbol of \n\n43\nidentification in tribal societies. Each of the twelve tribes was represented by an elder or\nPRINCE. His symbol of authority and vested power was the staff he carried. For many of\nus our tribe is the fellowship we belong to and the meetings we attend. It is the staff of\nour life, when meetings are our bread and butter. \nThe fifth stage of Recovery \nis the Miracle, the Wonder, the change we have wrought in ourselves through the new\ncourse of our action. We have turned our life around and now have a new purpose. This\nis symbolized by BLOOD. Earlier we referred to Hashem's condition upon our Recovery. \n\n\"Either by your blood ye shall live or else by your blood shall ye live\". \nThis is the full circle, the last stage of our Recovery when we internalize the steps,\nbecoming staffs of life. \n\n44\n\n \n \nTHE TEN PLAGUES \nIt is customary when announcing the ten plagues to shed ten drops of wine from the cup,\nto indicate the absence of joy in the punishment of our enemies. It is never the right time\nto gloat at the downfall of others and this ritual reminds us of that. \nThe Kabbalists imbue the action with a deeper significance. The wine, as we mentioned\nearlier, represents the powers of thought, more specifically the \"understanding\" or\ndeduction we associate with intuition. This is known as BINA and is attributed to the\nfeminine or receptive aspect of life. Prophecy with its receptive role vis-a-vis Hashem is\nfeminine and grounded in \"BINA\", intuition, until the prophecy is passed onwards by the\nprophet. Then it becomes positive, masculine and specifically \"CHOCHMA\", wisdom. \nProphecy requires SIMCHA, joy and gratitude which are associated with wine. They too\nare feminine aspects of the psyche. Here, however, we acknowledge another aspect of our\nfeminine, negative self. Its roots are in the future, for there are many possible futures. The\nfuture like Woman, may give birth to many possibilities. The past is Masculine, there is\nonly one past. It is in the past that our resentments have their source. Resentments more\nthan anything in life, cut us off from the source of Simcha and prophecy. We simply have\nto let go. \nPart of the problem with our feelings is the overwhelmingly, primal nature of their\ncapacity. At first when we regain our feelings and sensations they feel huge. A small hurt,\nlike a drop of wine on the end of our fingertip is associated with the entire cup of wine.\nWe have not learned to differentiate, it feels as though there is a swimming-pool full of\npain in the basement which overflows if we add so much as another single drop to it.\nInstead of feeling appropriate sensation, we experience as it were a lifetime of stored\nhurts we never felt before. \nFears and hatreds have similar dynamics. \nAt this point in the seder when we announce the anguish suffered vicariously as it were\non our behalf by the Egyptians in the Haggadah, we let go our resentment and rage. We\nspill it over the edge recognizing for a moment the primal nature of our rage and how it\nresembles a cup filled to the brim. What remains afterwards is thus our cup of joy and\ngratitude. \nThese are the ten plagues that the Holy-one-blessed-be-He brought upon the Egyptians in\nEgypt. \n\n45\nEach of us has suffered the plagues in all their variety of forms and richness of diversity.\nThe order of manifestation as they occurred to the Egyptians in Egypt was particular to\nthem. Rather than compare our own stories, let us identify. \nTHE FANTASY OF OMNIPOTENCE \n1. BLOOD: \n\n\n\nTo understand the significance of the first plague we must first understand what\nimportance was attached to the River Nile in Ancient Egypt. A great deal has been\nwritten on the subject and this is not the place for a detailed review. Suffice it to say that\nfor Hashem to strike all the water of the Nile into blood was to strike directly at the heart\nof political, cultural, religious and economic life. Much more than merely a classic\nmilitary tactic. Cut off their water! \nThe Nile irrigates the whole of Egypt by inundation. It is swollen by rains in the\nmountains at its source. Heavy with organic sediment, it overflows its banks, irrigating as\nit fertilizes. It is the source of life, wealth and art. It is a god. Ceremonies associated with\nthe inundation, rituals and sacrifices comprised a large part of Egyptian daily life. The\npriesthood, centering upon the King and Queen of Egypt, the Pharaoh, was dedicated to\nthe perpetuation of the links between the royal family and the Nile. As Pharaoh walked\ndown to the water, it would rise to meet him. Pharaoh by association became a god. The\nNile was not a symbol; it was a reality. \nSome of us have had a similar relationships with a substance, mood-altering ritual or\nobsession. \nSuddenly after Millennia of being their most trustworthy, reliable friend, the river turned\ninto a putrid filthy morass of blood, an enemy. We too have gone through this state of\nchange when our \"best friend\" showed its true ugly face, the other side of dependence\nwhere all is ill health and slavery. No more than we were the Egyptians able to forsake\nthe Nile. Just because it had turned to blood didn't mean that their habits changed\nsuddenly. They continued in their denial through all the stages of substitution and\nrationalization. As it is written: \n\"And all the Egyptians continued to dig beside the river looking for water to\ndrink, because they could not drink the river water\" \n\n\n46\n\n2. FROGS: \n\n\n\nThis plague reduced Pharaoh from the proud vain tyrant to a ridiculous figure, butt of a\ndivine joke. When Hashem warned that He would mock Pharaoh and his institutions, that\nHe would playfully dismember the instruments of government, this plague of frogs surely\nfulfilled all that promise. \nA frog appeared in Pharaoh's palace, in his bed chamber, in his bed. When it was\ncrushed, two live frogs appeared in place of the dead one. They multiplied like insects\nand croaking, hopped out of Pharaohs bedroom and made their way through the palace.\nThey invaded the ministry buildings surrounding the royal palace. From the government\ndepartments they split, multiplied and spread like tendrils of the bureaucracy itself into\nevery corner of Egypt, into people's kitchens, their kneading troughs, even into their\novens. (The Hebrew for frog, \"TSFARDEA\" also translates into BIRDWITTED -\n\"Nonsense!\") Like the croaking reptile which simply announces itself and tries to be\nlouder than the next croaking frog, so are politicians. All this could not fail to be\ninterpreted by the Egyptian civilian as a humorous humiliation of their monarchy and its\nvested interests by a Higher Power. \nWe too have seen all our efforts at control come to nought. We have been humiliated\ndisastrously in direct consequence of our actions and decisions, we have seen them bear\nwitness to our stupidity, to our delusions. As we tried to get the cosmos to dance to our\ntune, and all its creatures to act the parts we assigned to them, we appeared no less\nridiculous than frogs. \nDENIAL \n\n\n3. LICE: \nThis plague was an attack on the disease's most powerful weapon, \"Denial\". Denial is a\nmechanism whereby the most outrageous manifestations of the addiction can be\nexplained without admitting the necessity of change. An example would be someone with\nlung cancer blaming automobile emissions for the illness whilst smoking three packets of\ncigarettes every day. The Egyptians had a similar attitude. When the plagues began to\nstrike, The College of Magicians produced practitioners who could simulate these effects\nwith their thaumaturgical arts. The result of their success was to enable Egypt to prolong\nits agony, it was \"business as usual\". This is the function of denial. The mere fact that\nthey could product similar results with magic meant somehow that their lives were not as \n\n47\nunmanageable as Moses was attempting to point out. Pharaoh didn't feel quite powerless\nover events as long as someone close to him was murmuring into his ear, \"It's only a\nstrong manipulation of natural forces, your majesty\". But as with all illusion there is a\nnatural upper limit to the intricacy of the web. \nWhen first we lie or deny the truth, to ourselves or others, we have to compensate. The\nripples spread outward from the event of the denial, each untruth has ripple-like effects,\nramifications, each having to be explained. If I deny the effect of the cigarettes on my\nlungs I have to redefine the meaning of the term carcinogenic. If I maintain that denial, I\nhave to redefine the definitions of phenomena such as melanoma, asbestosis, oncogeny\nand other things. If I wish to continue in my denial, I have to explain in some new way\nenzyme activity and amino acids and a thousand other facts. \nThere reaches a point where lies and evasion can no longer explain events fast enough to\navoid the momentum of the truth. Magic and illusion have their own \"event horizon\". In\nEgyptian magic the illusion could not be sustained if it required the denial of something\nsmaller than a grain of barley. There are simply too many details to take care of to\nmaintain the illusion. This was the wonder of the plague of lice. They are smaller than a\ngrain of barley. It was at this stage of events that the Magicians of Egypt began to lose\nface and ultimately their power. They tried to duplicate the lice but were unable to. At\nwhich point, they broke through their first level of denial and admitted a Higher Power.\nAs it is written: \n\"And the Magicians said to Pharaoh, \"It is a finger of G-D\". \n\n4. WILD BEASTS: \n\n\n\n\nMaintaining His attack on Pharaoh's denial, Hashem instructed Moshe to confront\nPharaoh in the morning when Pharaoh went down to the water. Pharaoh relieved himself\nevery morning privately by the water in order to maintain the illusion that he was a god\nand so did not need the toilet. Moses warned Pharaoh but he would not budge. \nSuddenly like some monstrous, collective delirium tremens, Egypt was filled with\nmarauding animals, snakes and scorpions. But the land of Goshen where the Children of\nIsrael lived was free and peaceful. At this point Pharaoh's denial began to crumble and he\nproceeded to the next stage of his defeat. He tried to negotiate. \nWe have all at one time or another tried negotiating with our disease. If I switch brands,\nadd water, change partners, only on weekends, anything from geographic relocations to\nsurgery, just let me carry on as I was. And all to maintain the fantasy of omnipotence,\nPharaoh called Moshe and Aharon and told them to start public worship of their G-D in\nthe land of Goshen, hoping thereby to placate Moshe and maintain control. Moshe \n\n48\ndemanded the right to travel three days into the wilderness, Pharaoh agreed on condition\nthey went no further. The plague was lifted, Pharaoh changed his mind and once again\nrefused to let them go. \nDEFIANCE \n\n5. PESTILENCE: \n\nThe plague referred to earlier in the Haggadah as \"Mighty Hand\" was the sudden death of\nall the livestock in the fields. We too have seen the disappearance of all our valuable\npossessions, jobs, businesses, houses, and automobiles. We know what it means to be\nsmitten with the pestilence. To look around and survey the desolation of all one's wealth\ndisintegrating. To ask; \"Why is this happening to me\"? (as though this wasn't somehow a\nlogical progression considering the direction in which we were headed). \nThe \"beast\" in Egypt was food, clothing, transportation, status symbol, object of worship\nand means of waging war. It was commerce and agriculture. It struck the Egyptian\nsuddenly and forcibly that life could not go on as it had been doing. Pharaoh's reaction\nwas not so incomprehensible to those of us who have been in his position. He became\ndefiant. As it is written: \"And Pharaoh sent inspectors, and behold not a single one of the\nanimals belonging to Israel had died in the plague. And Pharaoh hardened his heart and\nrefused to send out the People\". \n\n\n6. BOILS: \n\nAt the point where their very bodies rebelled and broke into many suppurating boils, the\nillusion and denial broke down completely. As it is written: \n\"And the Magicians could not stand before Moshe because of the boils. The boils\nafflicted the Magicians and the Egyptians\". \n\nThe Magicians lost all their credibility and in fact are never heard or referred to again in\nthe Torah. \nBecause the Egyptians felt the way they did about themselves, because their self esteem\nlike ours, was based so much on their external physiognomy - because they were so\nproud of their physical culture, smug and self-satisfied, safe in the knowledge that\nwhatever hardships would have to be borne as a result of their obstinacy and defiance\ncould always be deflected upon the slaves and lower orders of society. They were \n\n49\nthemselves smitten. Their bodies became disgusting, repulsive and painful. The small\ndomestic and household pets of which the Egyptians were worshipfully reverent, the dog\nand cat, were equally subject to the plague of boils though they had been immune to the\npestilence. The message was clear to them as it has been to us. When we use and abuse,\nwe jeopardize our selves and all those around us. \nDon't look to place blame for misfortune that befalls those we love, somewhere else.\nWhile we were busy chasing our \"high\", too busy to take care of those who really needed\nit, they suffered. If children fell ill because their environment was unsafe - because we\ncouldn't afford to provide them with the nutrition, hygiene and care they needed or\nbecause our affairs were in such chaos - it's typical for us to go in search of a blame\nvictim. Anywhere. \nThese plagues, their sequence, their targets and all the details of their execution were\npurposeful. Our experiences, however painful and humiliating can always benefit others,\nand that's a promise! \nAMBIVALENCE \n\n7. HAIL: \n\n\nBefore this plague occurred, Hashem via Moshe warned Pharaoh very specifically about\nwhat was to come adding: \n\"And this time I will send all my plagues to your heart\". \n\nIn the description of the hail that fell we are told that it was accompanied by very loud\nthunder. However damaging the hail was, its impact was not as great as the thunder. The\nhail was not the frozen raindrops with which we are familiar. It more closely resembled\nmolten lava spewing from an erupting volcano in droplets. Yet the thunder which\naccompanied it was far more frightening. Because very loud noise is disorienting, and in\norder to hang on to illusions we must be able to fixate on them. When in a disorienting\nsituation our world collapses. When Pharaoh appealed to Moshe to beg Hashem to lift the\nplague, he referred to \"the God-thunder and the hail\". Moshe answered \n\n\"I will pray, the plague will be lifted but you are not ready to let the people go\". \n\nTo Moshe, it was clear that Pharaoh had no intention of letting go, he was ready to die\nand bring the entire world down with him. Pharaoh was not a coward, he was not weak\nbut he was not smart. He was challenging the Almighty. Hashem said, \"In order that All\nthe world might see that I am The Higher Power and that ultimately there is hope, that\nprayer and faith are necessary and worthwhile, I will let you live\". Pharaoh bore the lice \n\n50\nand the boils without demur. He was not afraid of pain. Yet when the noise of the thunder\nfilled his head, cutting him off from his defense mechanism he was just as frightened as\nany other human would be. Very loud noise by itself is a form of torture against which\nthe body is not equipped to defend itself. Are we different? Are we ready to let go? Are\nwe tired of all the noise in our heads? \n\n\n8. LOCUSTS: \nThe locust was also preceded by negotiation. Pharaoh, urged by his people who were\nlosing heart, tried to bargain with Moshe. But when he was told that Moshe intended\nleaving with young and old, men and women, he balked. For reasons that are not entirely\nclear, the destruction wrought by the voracious locusts who devoured everything edible,\nscared Pharaoh. He panicked, calling Moshe and Aharon, confessing to having sinned\nagainst their G-D and them, begging them to forgive him again and to beg Hashem to\nremove \"this death\". \nBut the truth is that as much as he wanted to let them go, he wanted to hold on to them. \nCAPITULATION \n\n9. DARKNESS: \n\nThe significance of this plague was the isolation it imposed upon the Egyptians. As it is\nwritten: \n\"No one could see his brother and no one could get up for three days\". \n\nThe darkness, we are told, was palpable. But the greatest darkness is when we cannot\nhear what our brothers are saying. Seeing is analogous of all communication between\nfriends. All meetings of the mind are called seeing. If we continue determinedly down the\npath of self-obsession we must eventually reach that point of palpable darkness where all\ncommunication breaks down. If insanity is defined as making the same mistakes but\nexpecting different results, then Pharaoh King of Egypt must by this time have been\ninsane. Again he tried negotiating and saving face. He could not admit his powerlessness.\nHe tried to salvage something from the situation. Eventually he took refuge in rage and\nforbade Moshe from setting foot in his palace again. Moshe agreed saying, \"Yes, let it be\njust as you have spoken. I will not see your face again\". \n\n51\nDuring the three days of darkness, four-fifths of the Children of Israel died of an\noverdose and were quietly buried by relatives and friends. Even with all they had seen,\nmost slaves didn't believe in salvation. \n\n\n10. SLAYING THE FIRSTBORN: \nWe tend to blame providence and bad luck for the losses we suffer as a consequence of\nusing and abusing. The price is the same whether we learn our lesson or not. There is no\nway to use safely, and death is always the price. Pharaoh and all his people, every\nEgyptian regardless of race, caste or rank - all lost a loved one, child or sibling. The\nanguish was great. The capitulation was total: no more deals or negotiations, no more\nstipulation or clauses, no more conditions or half measures. They suddenly became aware\nof their own mortality. Sometimes it requires the death of someone close to us to make us\nready to change. It is impossible to scare an addict since all the denial mechanisms forbid\nit. Sometimes though, a moment spent thinking about the state of life as it is now,\nespecially when a major tragedy has occurred, is sufficient for the seed of doubt to take\nroot and grow. Bringing the edifice of denial and delusion crashing down. For each of us\nin Recovery, \"the slaying of the firstborn\" has occurred (at least once). \nRABBI YEHUDA GAVE ABBREVIATIONS \nAs though he had written - BFL WPB HLDF. It has been suggested that Rabbi Yehuda\nhad a problem and would not waste ten drops of wine when three would do. Of course\nmany more significant reasons are given to explain his abbreviation of the plagues. \n1. The first three plagues were brought about by Moshe's brother Aharon. Moshe\nhad no part in smiting the Nile or the earth and dust of Egypt. When he was a\nbaby and placed in a basket and left to drift in the Nile amongst the reeds and\nbulrushes, the Nile protected him. It would have been an act of ingratitude for him\nto have turned it into blood. When Moshe killed an Egyptian whom he saw\nbeating a slave, he hid the corpse in the earth and dust of Egypt. To have turned\nthe dust into lice would also have been an ingratitude. This the Torah teaches us,\nis a measure of the responsibility on one who owes gratitude. The second three\nwere performed by Moshe and Aharon together. The last plagues were brought on\nby Moshe himself. \n2. The first three plagues were all at the lowest possible level (i.e., sea level and\nground level). The second three were above ground level. The final plagues came\nfrom successively higher levels. \n\n52\nRABBI YOSI HAGLILI SAID: \nWhat possible difference can it make to know that the Egyptians suffered three times as\nmuch at the crossing of the Red Sea? \nIt is written (Ex. 15.26): \nAnd he said, \"If you listen well to the voice of Hashem you G-D and you do what is right\nin His eyes, if you hearken to His commandments and guard His statues, all the illness\nwhich I brought upon Egypt I will never bring upon you, for I am Hashem your Healer\". \n\nThis is perhaps the clearest indication of the nature of things in Egypt. The verse does not\nrefer to plagues brought upon Egyptians. Rather it speaks of disease and illness upon\nEgypt. Finally it introduces the concept of a Healing Higher Power. During the plague of\nlice the Magicians referred to the \"Finger of G-D\". We explained there that this was a\nbreakthrough in their denial. It was a crack in the apparently seamless wall of\nrationalization they had built to explain events that pointed at the need for a change in\ntheir lifestyle. What was their life-style? \nEgyptians, we are told, had passed through the fiftieth gate of \"Tumah\". There is no\nspecific translation into any language of the word Tumah. In this context it appears to\nmean self-centeredness, self-deception, self-abuse, self-destruction, self-obsession. It\namounts to Soul Murder. Life in Egypt was soul destroying. Israel, we are told had\nreached the portals of the Fiftieth Gate. They had already passed through forty-nine.\nAnother moment would have been too late. Hashem rushed them out of Egypt just in time\nto prevent them stepping through that final Gate. Each Gateway is another lie I tell\nmyself, another excuse I make for another selfish act I rationalize. The experience in\nEgypt was a journey into sickness and addiction. We went all the way. There was very\nlittle difference between our disease and that of our slave drivers. What happened to the\nEgyptians was meant for us. Hashem could have destroyed them instantaneously. The\nslaughter of the firstborn could have been extended to everyone. \nWe Children of Israel had to learn a lesson. We had to see before our eyes fifty kinds of\ndenial stripped away. We had to come out of fifty kinds of excuse. Our attention had to\nbe skewered and riveted for a lasting impression to be made. So the whole panoply of the\nExodus unfolded. And Rabbi Yosi Haglili tells us that in fact the Children of Israel saw\nthe \"Hand of Hashem\" And they Came to Believe in Hashem and His Servant Moshe. \nYet their enthusiasm lasted no more than three days as it is written: \n\"And they went three days into the wilderness and found no water and complained to\nMoshe....\". \n\nReb Yosi Haglili is telling us of all the misery which we need not suffer. If we keep\nwalking the steps, learn to listen, do the right thing, etc. Hashem promised us that all the\nmisery He brought upon Egypt will not befall us, because He is our Healer. We came to \n\n53\nbelieve in Him at the Red Sea. If it worked for them it can work for us. So the two ideas\nintertwine. \nRabbi Eliezer said: \n\"Each plague was in fact four plagues\". \n\nRabbi Akiva said: \n\n\"Each plague was in fact five plagues\". \nThey argue over the nature of anger itself. Rabbi Eliezer believes that \"Wrathful\nbreathing\" is not an acting out of anger, unlike the other four expressions which imply\naction. Rabbi Akiva disagrees, saying it is a \"plague\". Perhaps their argument has to do\nwith their own natures and their perception of the role that healthy anger plays in the life\nof a normal person. \nOr perhaps their argument refers to Hashem and the description of anger when applied to\nHim. Is there such a thing as divine anger which is not manifest in a physical \"plague\"? \nRabbi Eliezer maintains that Hashem may be angry in the descriptive sense of \"Being\". \nReb Akiva says No! Hashem angry is a condition that affects all the Universe and is\nnever just a state of being. \n\n54\nDAYAINU\nDayainu does not mean it would have been enough. Rather, it would have been more than\nwe deserved. \nIf we count our blessings here we find: \nFIFTEEN REASONS FOR BEING GRATEFUL \n1. He brought us out of Egypt. \n\nObviously our first gratitude is for the fact that we are no longer trapped, enslaved to\nsubstances and habits. There could be no growth so long as we were in Egypt. \n\n2. It does not say He judged them, rather, He did judgments among them. \n\nThe word \"did\", ASA refers to the most tangible form of creativity the ultimate unfolding\nof Hashem's plans. Hashem is not judgmental simply for its own sake. His judgments are\nvery creative. He did it for us, in order to show us the nature of our addiction and the\npower of the lie in which we lived. Hashem exposed both the Egyptians and their gods. \n\n3. He \"Did\" their gods. \n\nThe creativity we refer to is undoubtedly the humor and playfulness in the humiliation of\nthe Egyptian gods. \n\n4. He killed their firstborn.\n\nThis is the culmination of the first lesson. Slavery means death. Addiction means death.\nThe worship of ungods means death. Let this be clear and unequivocal. \n\n5. He gave us their money. \n\nIt does not say gave us their wealth, rather their money. A medium of exchange, the\ndollar is a piece of green paper of little value. But it represents agreement amongst people\nto maintain a monetary system and all the cultural ramifications carries. For the system to\nbe successful, a stable balance of forces must exist in the marketplace. \nThe whole structure of economics that worked so well for the Egyptians now came to\nwork for us. It was a sane, peaceful, rewarding system. The word chosen here to describe\nmoney MAMON, is unusual in this context. One might have expected the word\nKESEPH, silver to be used. Mamon does not appear in the story of the Exodus, whereas\nKeseph, silver is mentioned often. We did not have to go through the hardship of\ndeveloping our own through scarcity and hardship and want. We didn't need any more\nupheavals in our lives concerning mundane things. Poverty makes Recovery difficult. We \n\n55\nhad enough on our hands without skyrocketing inflation and a forced return to the barter\nsystem. \n6. He split the Sea for us. \nWe might have had to fight a pitched battle with them the way we did weeks later with\nthe Amalekites. The Egyptians might have found themselves drawn away to fight\nelsewhere against marauders, or any number of other possibilities. Instead we were taught\nto surrender and turn our will over to Hashem. That was good for us. \n\n7. He passed through it on dry land. \n\nWe are not merely remarking that Hashem took care of details. When the Red Sea split\nand we passed through it, we did not walk through mud and swamp. Everything was as\ndry as a bone and the walk was comfortable. We are really pointing out that Hashem is\nloving and caring. The ungods we served in Egypt were many things, none of them\nloving and caring or anticipating of our needs. \n\n8. He drowned our oppressors in it. \n\nApparently it was very important to us to see the Egyptians destroyed. Perhaps we were\nafraid that so long as they could chase us they were incapable of letting go and we would\nhave to battle endlessly with them. Perhaps we ourselves could never let go until we saw\nthem utterly defeated. Whatever the reason, Hashem did drown them all in the Sea. \n\n9. He took care of our needs. \n\nForty years in the wilderness. Protected us from sun and wind, snow and rain, snakes and\nscorpions. We were surrounded by \"Clouds of Glory\" and never really lacked material\nthings. We had our needs met. \n\n10. He fed us manna. \n\nThis was not just food. This was an entirely new creation. A whole new species of long\nmolecule, this was not some growth or desert cacti. The Manna gave a whole new\nmeaning to the phrase \"Living by the word of Hashem\". \n\n11. He gave us the Shabbos. \n\nShabbos is priceless; it is not a \"Sabbath\", or day or rest. Only those who live it know\nwhat it feels like. To describe it is fruitless. A marble statue has as much resemblance to a\nreal person as the common notion has to the true meaning of Shabbos. It is the pearl of\nHashem's treasury. \n\n12. He brought us close to Mount Sinai. \n\n\n56\nThis in itself was an enormous step for us. We became willing to have all our defects of\ncharacter removed. We were willing to go to any lengths to do Hashem's will. We were\nentirely ready. What higher spiritual peaks could we possibly have aimed for? We\nweren't just present at Mount Sinai, we were close. \n\n13. He gave us the Torah. \n Not merely a jewel out of His treasury, Hashem gave us the whole treasury. \n\n14. He entered us into the Land of Israel.\n\n15. Built us the \"Chosen House\" (Temple) to atone for our sins. \n\nWho mentioned sins? Sin is implicit in the way we are. We aren't angels. We aren't\nexpected to get it right the first time or even the second time. We are going to keep\nfailing. What matters is progress, not perfection. \nThe Hebrew words chosen here to mean Temple are BAIS HABECHIRA, literally\ntranslated as \"House of Choice\". An allusion to the end product of the Exodus. We are no\nlonger slaves because we have a choice. The real distinction between the using addict and\nthe recovering addict is the power of choice. And so our gratitude list ends with thanks\nfor the gift of what is more commonly referred to as Free Will, freedom to choose. \n\n\n57\n", "cliptype": "text", "clipsource": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH", "featured": 0, "featuredIn": null, "is_public": 1, "is_published": 1, "media": { "image": null, "audio": null, "video": null }, "thumbnail": null, "clip_section": [ { "haggadah_section": "Commentary / Readings", "slug": "commentary-readings" } ], "likes": 0, "downloads": 380, "tags": [], "themes": [], "language": "0", "is_bookmarked": "0", "is_liked": 0, "meta_tags": { "title": "THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH - Ten Plagues, Diyanu, Misc. | Passover haggadah by Jewish Alcoholics, Chemically Dependent Persons & Significant Others", "description": "Our simple platform allows you to create a custom Passover Haggadah, with access to unique content contributed by our community. 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THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH - Yachatz

Haggadah Section: Yachatz

YachatzSobrietyRecovery

YACHATZ

Is matzo poor man's bread or the food of free men? Can it be both? If we regard it as the Bread of Affliction why did we carry dough on our backs out of Egypt, to let it bake in the hot sun without leavening and rising? Can one Matzo be both a symbol of wretchedness and deliverance?

Matzo is a paradox.

Not only is it so, but in breaking the middle matzo we also break with symmetry. There is a bigger half and a smaller half. This unpalatable truth is almost a preamble to the Haggadah. The universe is not symmetrical, all is not evenly divided. There is a richer and poorer half. The distribution of assets is not equal. This is one of the mysteries that persists, omnipresent, throughout time. Life the universe and everything is not fair. We cannot balance this sorry scheme of things entire, and so it goes. What was our response as children to the dawning realization that it was not fair? Did we have coping mechanisms? We survived so we must have coped, but we sacrificed our health in order to do so. We split. We broke into pieces. We hid ourself away. And this is how we prepared ourselves for life. Like the hungriest of paupers eating what we absolutely must, laying aside the greater part for later, when the time is riper. We compromised, accepting this imbalance, bowing to the "Law of Unfairness” which must prevail.

In many ways this acquiescence preceded addiction. We grew satisfied with the expression of a mere fraction of our personalities. We went into "survival mode", subsisting on crumbs of humanness, hiding the greater part of ourselves from ourselves. As we do with the AFIKOMEN.

The focus of our lives grew narrower as our preoccupation with gnawing hunger grew stronger. We had nothing to spare for growth when all we had went to feed our habits. Fewer and fewer opportunities to begin the fixing, as we chased the fix with growing desperation. In the end it became obvious that we had developed a pathological relationship with the "bread of our affliction".

We break the middle matzo because the middle matzo represents the Great Mothering Principle of the Kabbalistical Sphere of BINAH. We lost the ability to take care of our most basic needs, to Mother ourselves.

If the recitation of the Haggadah is our "war-story", our qualification, why are we breaking the matzo now before beginning our war story?

The answer is heartbreaking. The reason this happens before the Haggadah, is because the splitting of the self almost always occurs when we are still in a pre-verbal state. The disorder of our personalities, the shaming and abandonment of ourselves happens when we are still babies, infants. What follows is the story of our lives after the rupture. The inevitable, inexorable descent into the blast-furnace that was our Egypt, and our deliverance. There are no words to describe the event. We simply break the matzo, leaving the smaller section on the Seder plate, We wrap the larger piece in a pillow-case and put it away for afikomen.

Recovery is a lifelong process. We must realize, actualize and integrate the whole of ourselves. We will do this by eating the Afikomen as a symbolic "last-act" of the Seder. When it is all over we will have achieved a reclamation of the "self" we abandoned. We take the Afikomen we have wrapped in a pillowcase, slinging it over the shoulder we explain to our children:

“This is what our parents did when they came out of Egypt;”

As it is written:

“Their dough slung over their shoulders in sheets”

And the sun shone so hot that it was baked, without the opportunity to leaven as dough left alone will do. And so they continued to eat the unleavened bread even when they came out of Egypt".

Why did we continue eating this bread after we had left Egypt? Why is this a point worth mentioning? In a sense we are reminding ourselves of those times early in Recovery when we found ourselves in very painful situations, eating what seemed identical to the bread of our affliction. We can only see with hindsight that we were eating bread of freedom. In our haste to leave Egypt we were prepared to go to any lengths; even mothers with tiny children walked away from the only homes they had. Walking into the wilderness with nothing to eat but unfinished pastry dough and trust in their Higher Power. It is customary to hide the Afikomen, allowing children the excitement of the search. Just another way of keeping them awake and alert whilst the Seder continues.

Source:

THE ANONYMOUS HAGGADAH

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